"I Think This Is A Bunch Of Crap"

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights: "I Think This Is A Bunch Of Crap"

Release Date: March 18, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Guests: Dave Ramsey, George Kamel
Duration: Under ten minutes

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Introduction

In the episode titled "I Think This Is A Bunch Of Crap," hosted by the Ramsey Network, Dave Ramsey teams up with George Kamel to address a listener's dilemma surrounding marital financial dynamics. The episode delves into the complexities of balancing personal financial ambitions with family responsibilities, offering insightful commentary and practical advice for couples navigating similar challenges.

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The Listener's Dilemma

Listener Profile:

• Name: Madison
• Location: Ohio
• Marital Status: Married for six years
• Financial Status: No debt, saves approximately $1,000 monthly, with $25,000 in savings.

Issue Presented:
Madison expresses feeling out of sync with her husband's intense focus on finances. While she prioritizes raising their children and supporting the family, her husband is deeply engaged in budgeting and financial planning. Madison seeks understanding as to why she doesn't share her husband's excitement about money and fears that aligning financially might cause her to lose her sense of self.

Transcript Highlight:

Madison: "I feel like finances are his thing and raising our family is mine. I'll support anything he wants, but I don't want to lose myself in his ambition."
[00:09]

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Ramsey and Kamel's Initial Reaction

Dave Ramsey and George Kamel engage in an immediate critique of Madison's perspective, expressing skepticism about her portrayal of her husband's financial enthusiasm. They suggest that Madison might be overlooking the essential role that financial planning plays in supporting family life.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: "I'm calling bs."
[01:14]

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Analyzing the Root Cause

The discussion pivots to dissecting Madison's concerns, highlighting a potential miscommunication and imbalance in the marital relationship regarding financial matters.

Key Points:

• Perception vs. Reality: Madison perceives her husband as money-hungry, whereas Ramsey argues that his attention to finances is a responsible and necessary approach to ensuring family stability.

• Role Alignment: Emphasizing that both partners have strengths—Madison in nurturing and her husband in financial management—they can complement each other rather than compete.

• Importance of Joint Decision-Making: Ramsey underscores the necessity for both spouses to have a say in financial decisions, ensuring that both feel valued and involved.

Transcript Excerpt:

Dave Ramsey: "You're the free spirit. You're not concerned about spreadsheets, and that's fine. He's the nerd and he's all into the details, and that's fine. You can function in your strengths."
[02:14]

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Practical Advice and Solutions

Ramsey and Kamel offer actionable strategies to bridge the financial communication gap in Madison's marriage.

Strategies Discussed:

1. Leading with the Heart:

   • Encouraging the husband to prioritize emotional connection over rigid financial spreadsheets.
   • Promoting open and heartfelt conversations about financial goals and family dreams.

   Quote:

   Dave Ramsey: "Lead with your heart first and do spreadsheet second."
   [03:19]

2. Inclusive Budgeting:

   • Involving both spouses in budget creation to ensure mutual agreement and understanding.
   • Making financial planning a collaborative effort rather than a solitary task.

3. Balancing Financial Ambition with Family Time:

   • Allocating time for family activities to prevent financial discussions from overshadowing personal relationships.
   • Recognizing that financial planning supports family life but should not detract from it.

4. Mutual Respect and Validation:

   • Acknowledging each partner's contributions and perspectives.
   • Ensuring that financial decisions reflect both partners' values and aspirations.

Transcript Excerpt:

Dave Ramsey: "What I believe is, I believe you have something to add to this conversation, honey. And so your vote counts. I want your vote in this."
[04:55]

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with an emphasis on the importance of teamwork in marriage, especially concerning finances. Ramsey and Kamel advocate for transparency, mutual respect, and shared decision-making to foster a harmonious and financially secure household.

Final Advice:

• Open Communication: Maintain ongoing dialogues about financial goals and concerns.
• Shared Responsibilities: Distribute financial tasks in a manner that respects each partner's strengths.
• Unified Vision: Align both partners' financial aspirations with the family's overall well-being.

Closing Quote:

Dave Ramsey: "We're two adults trying to make our way through this world, and it involves money or the dreams."
[05:10]

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Key Takeaways

• Financial Harmony: Balancing differing financial interests requires empathy, communication, and collaboration.
• Role Complementation: Leveraging each partner's strengths can lead to effective financial management without personal sacrifices.
• Shared Goals: Establishing common financial objectives fosters unity and supports both personal and familial aspirations.

This episode provides valuable insights for couples seeking to harmonize their financial lives while maintaining strong and supportive relationships.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by why refi Refinance your defaulted private student loans [e-mail] Ramsey.

[George Kamel]

All right, today's question comes from Madison in Ohio. My husband and I have been happily married for six years. The only place where we struggle a bit. I love that a bit. Is on our finances. My heart is with my babies and raising them while his is focused on money. I'd rather him tell me what our monthly budget is so I can just follow it, but he wants me to be on his level of monetary ambition. We have no debt, save roughly a thousand bucks a month, and we have 25 grand in savings if I'm not negatively impacting his goals. And why is it bad that money doesn't excite me like it does him? I feel like finances is his thing and raising our family is mine. I'll support anything he wants, but I don't want to lose myself in his ambition. I think they've got more than a bit of a struggle here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[George Kamel]

Yeah. This is a bigger challenge going on, man.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I, I. Okay. I'm just. That's. It's the Ramsey show, so I'm just gonna say what I think.

[George Kamel]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm calling bs.

[George Kamel]

I am, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I think it's a bunch of crap.

[George Kamel]

This is the.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think she just wants to be taken care. Buy anything she wants anytime. And he said no.

[George Kamel]

This feels like in counseling, they call it the one down position. It's like when the, when somebody's mom goes, oh, that's okay. I don't want to eat there. But I'll just eat the napkins in the glove box. I'll be fine.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's that we're not going to buy me a dress. I'll just use the drape.

[George Kamel]

Right. I don't want to get my fingers dirty, my hands dirty with the money stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

The money stuff. I'm the mom.

[George Kamel]

Right? Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, brother, you're killing me here. Okay, now, there is some truth to this, and there's a bunch of both to it, too. But the truth is that you're the free spirit. You're not concerned about spreadsheets, and that's fine. He's the nerd and he's all into the details, and that's fine. You can function in your strengths. But what you've done here is you spent the entire email making him the evil bad guy that's money hungry. And you're the sweet person that loves little children and bullcrap. Yeah.

[George Kamel]

If you want to take care of your kids, you gotta have Money to take care of your kids.

[Dave Ramsey]

Your kids like food and dry diapers and college degrees and whatever. So you gotta do both. So being a grown up mom involves being an adult woman. That is raising children involves having enough say and enough involvement in the budget and in where our money is going that I get a vote and I, and I'm in agreement and we're aligned on where we're going. That does not make you money hungry. It does not. And the fact that he has a gift with detail doesn't make him money hungry and doesn't mean he hates children. So.

[George Kamel]

And actually I, I guess where I can feel my heart rate getting up a little bit, getting a little frustrated, is the number of calls I get from wives saying, I wish my husband would just include me. And I have somebody here. And now he's not, he's, he's speaking spreadsheet, which if he was here, I'd bonk him on the head and say, bro, lead with your heart first and do spreadsheet second. But this is somebody that sounds like they're trying to connect and trying to bring mom in, bring his wife in on the finances and the money. And here's where we're headed, here's what we're gonna buy. And she's kind of beating him up for it. And I, I kind of, I mean, based on this little paragraph here, I honor the fact that he's trying to connect with you. Even though you keep saying, I don't want anything to the money part, I just want to do the mom part.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I don't want anything to do with evil money. I just want to be the sweet mom. And that just, that really drips off of here and it's insincere. You want something to do with evil money. The rent in being paid if the light gets cut off and the water gets cut off. Believe me, my wife was there when she had little babies and she was concerned about that. So anyway, so I, I would say.

[George Kamel]

Going to the, the root of this, I don't like him. He annoys me. I don't like having conversations with my husband. Let's get to the truth here. Or I really kind of spoiled and I don't like to deal with some of this stuff. We need to get to the root of these things because this is the way some people just operate in the world. And it ends up in ash.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right.

[George Kamel]

It ends up. And then he's going to get painted as the bad guy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, he already is.

[George Kamel]

And then he didn't know his Wife didn't like him. I don't like you. Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Yeah. So he could. He could take the thing. We could give him some help. The help we would give him is, like you said, lead with your heart and say.

[George Kamel]

And what does that mean?

[Dave Ramsey]

What I believe is, I believe you have something to add to this conversation, honey. And so your vote counts. I want your vote in this. It doesn't mean you're overwhelmed with money. Doesn't mean I'm overwhelmed with money. But we're two adults trying to make our way through this world, and it involves money or the dreams.

[George Kamel]

You talk about these babies that you just want to be yours. You said, I want them to drive this kind of car, go this kind of college. Well, that. That takes us planning right now for that to happen down the road.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let's talk about what we're not going to do so that we can do.

[George Kamel]

That's right. Let's dream about it together.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let's make that decision together. You. You're. You're way too smart to be a kept woman. Right. And he needs to lead with that rather than we're going to save $1,000 a month. And here's a spreadsheet.

[George Kamel]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Probably is doing a little bit of that.

[George Kamel]

Yeah. And the other side of it is, hey, these are. These are my kids, too. I want to be a dad.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[George Kamel]

You don't get to, like, just do the kids and I do the math. Like, I want to. I want to be involved with the kids. And if he's not Madison, then sit down and say, your kids need a dad more than they need a spreadsheet right now. They need you to talk to them, hang out with them, go do whatever dad, you know, dads do in this house. But so ultimately, this first line. We're have been happily married. I think things are not as great as they seem. Let's be honest with each other and go from there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Yeah. We're married.

[George Kamel]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

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