I Told My Boyfriend I Don't Want a Ring, I Want a House Instead!

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights – Episode Summary

Episode: “I Told My Boyfriend I Don't Want a Ring, I Want a House Instead!”
Date: March 29, 2026
Hosts: Ken Coleman, Jade Warshaw, George Kamel
Guest: Haley, Realtor/Investor

Episode Overview

This episode features a call-in from Haley, a Texas real estate investor, who shares her unconventional desire to skip the engagement ring and instead buy a house with her long-term boyfriend. While both she and her boyfriend are “Dave Ramsey friendly,” the conversation quickly delves into the emotional and financial complexities of purchasing property with a partner outside of marriage. The hosts, Ken and Jade, challenge Haley’s reasoning, offer cautionary advice, and explore the deeper anxieties at play.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Haley’s Situation

• Haley’s Position: She’s a realtor and real estate investor with 10 rental properties; currently in a long-term relationship; both parties previously married.
• Her Proposal: Would rather forgo an engagement ring and purchase a house together with her boyfriend.
• Complicating Factor: Her boyfriend has more debt, but mostly from a camper/RV and minor other debts (00:16–00:50).

2. Ramsey Philosophy: Risks of Buying a House Unmarried

• Jade Warns: Buying a home with a boyfriend/girlfriend is very risky and can become financially messy if the relationship doesn’t last (01:57–02:55).
• Clear Recommendation: If living together is a choice, keep finances and property separate unless married.
• Quote:
  • Jade: “The idea of buying a house with a boyfriend is very, very risky business...it can get really, really messy.” (01:57)

3. Unpacking Haley’s Motives

• Haley’s Rationale: She loves investing and wants her boyfriend “on board,” but also concedes that with his higher income, the lender approves the loan more easily (03:39–05:25).
• Hosts Push Back: Ken and Jade dig deeper, questioning whether this is really about the property, her independence, or efforts to cement the relationship.
• Quote:
  • Ken: “That’s such a crappy answer.” (04:58)
  • Jade: “Are you trying to lock him in?” (05:44)

4. Underlying Emotional Concerns

• Haley’s Vulnerability: Admits to fears after having been independent for so long and going through divorce with a child (06:05).
• Hosts’ Empathy and Critique:
  • Jade acknowledges that fear of commitment is natural after being “burned” but warns Haley that her chosen solution could be “even more dramatic” if things go wrong (06:17).
  • Ken urges her to consider marriage for the legal protection and clarity it provides, rather than creating further complications (07:00–07:16).

5. The Ultimatum: Independence vs. Commitment

• Ken’s Framing: Either stay financially independent by purchasing alone, or if the relationship is truly committed, get married and buy together (07:17–07:31).
• Quote:
  • Ken: “So be independent or then get legally married.” (07:25)

6. Relationship History & Living Situation

• Together Two Years: Haley and boyfriend live together part-time, keeping things respectful for their kids but cohabitating more frequently (08:23–08:50).
• Ken’s Candor:
  • Ken: “This is exhausting. And by the way, the whole respect for the kids thing. They know what’s happening. Let’s stop playing games. Let’s get married.” (08:50–09:00)

7. Closing Thoughts: Readiness for Marriage

• Jade’s Hot Take: Expresses skepticism that Haley is actually ready to get married, despite her outward statements (09:00–09:08).
• Ken’s Agreement: “I think you’re probably right.” (09:06)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “The idea of buying a house with a boyfriend is very, very risky business...it can get really, really messy.” – Jade (01:57)
• “That’s such a crappy answer.” – Ken (04:58)
• “Are you trying to lock him in?” – Jade (05:44)
• “So be independent or then get legally married.” – Ken (07:25)
• “Let’s stop playing games. Let’s get married.” – Ken (09:00)
• “I don’t think she’s ready. That’s my hot take of the day.” – Jade (09:07)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:16–00:50 – Haley describes her circumstances and the debt situation.
• 01:57–02:55 – Jade’s risk warning about buying with a boyfriend.
• 04:04–04:41 – Haley and hosts discuss investment leverage and debt.
• 05:44–06:13 – Hosts challenge Haley’s motives; she expresses vulnerability.
• 07:00–07:31 – Ken draws the marriage/independence line.
• 08:23–09:00 – The hosts discuss Haley’s living situation and push for clarity on her readiness.
• 09:00–09:08 – Jade and Ken’s summary on Haley’s marriage readiness.

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode serves as a real-world exploration of the pitfalls of mixing property and relationships outside of marriage, especially for individuals who value independence or are healing from past hurt. Despite Haley’s investment acumen, Ken and Jade make a strong case for either maintaining independent financial moves or formalizing the relationship through marriage before buying assets together. Their tone is frank, sometimes humorous, but always empathetic to the complexities of love, money, and trust.

Listeners walk away with:

• A caution to avoid co-owning property with an unmarried partner
• Encouragement to examine emotional motives behind major financial decisions
• Clear, practical advice to protect both heart and wallet

Transcript

[Ken]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app.

[George]

Start budgeting for free today.

[Haley]

Y' all are absolutely going to hate me whenever I tell you what I want to be doing.

[Ken]

No.

[Jade]

Let's test it.

[Ken]

That's a strong word. Hate is too strong.

[Haley]

I am a realtor investor here in Texas and I have a long term boyfriend. And I, we were buying a house together and I told him I didn't want a ring. I wanted a house instead. We've both been married previously and we're coming in together. Obviously we're very Dave Ramsey friendly and we know it. But he is carrying quite a little bit more debt than I am. I am credit card free. He is as well. However, we. I'm just trying to figure out how I want to tackle his debt when we buy the house. After we buy the house. Okay.

[Ken]

It's not.

[Haley]

It's.

[Ken]

I don't even know. You know what, I'm going to sit back for a second. I'm gonna let you go first.

[Jade]

I would just say for the people who are listening for the first time because you said that you were R.A. ramsay friendly and then you went off to say things of such nature that

[Haley]

it doesn't even apply.

[Ken]

You know what's funny about it? You're laughing the whole time and you know, you, you know what she's about to say, right? Why are you laughing about it?

[Haley]

Because honestly, because of the market that we are in and the real estate, the wet the way it's going, it would just be too good to pass up this property to where obviously we would want to live in it for.

[Jade]

Why don't you just buy it? Why don't you just buy it?

[George]

How about.

[Haley]

Well, I do. I can buy it myself. But I really want him to be on board with me. And it's not bad debt like we are selling. He has a camper that he was living in and working out of so doing like insurance adjustment across the US So that's really the only one that's a major one. The other one is just a minor amount maybe. But here's the thing.

[Jade]

It's not about the debt. For me, for me there, there. The debt is part of the home buying equation. Don't get me wrong. But in the bigger picture of what you're talking about, if I'm going to address these things by thing that's most on fire to thing that's not as burning as quickly, I would say the first thing is the idea of buying a house with a boyfriend is very, very risky business because it's you're doing something that should be very long term with someone that you can't, you really don't know if it's going to be long term. And if because of the, the nature of the mingling of money, it can get really, really messy. And if it doesn't have to be messy, the easier thing to do would just be like, hey, I'm going to buy this house or he's going to buy this house. And then if you so choose that you're going to live together in that way, that's your choice. But at least the monies are clear and free and that is not adding any insult to injury. If this were to go south and not proceed into.

[Ken]

Okay, Haley, that's about as good a word as you're going to get on that. What is your response to that? Because I can hear you saying yes to her, but you have a retort.

[George]

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[Ken]

This is a paid advertisement in MLS. Id 1591 in MLS ConsumerAccess.org equal housing lender. So what is your retort?

[Haley]

So basically with me being an investor, so I do actually show which, you know, the banks don't love me, but my CPAs do, you know that always that joke. And so really with qualifying for this property, you know, he shows way more of an income. I mean it almost doubles what or triples what my income is.

[Ken]

What do you. Okay, pause, pause. What investing do you have? You sound like you're over leveraged.

[Haley]

No, I have 10 rentals and so basically I.

[Ken]

How much do you owe? How much do you owe on 10 rentals?

[Haley]

I have three loans totaling about 225,000.

[Jade]

Okay, that's not as bad as I thought.

[Ken]

I thought it was going to be worse.

[Jade]

Okay, here's the thing, here's the thing. I want to give you props because even though you may not have done some of these things the Ramsey way, the fact that you have 10 rentals and you only owe 225, unless these are Just really crappy properties. There's something that you've done that you've not gone ridiculously. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, for 10. For 10 rentals, Ken, I would think that. I thought for sure you're going to say a couple million.

[Ken]

Well, why wouldn't you buy. But why. So what does that really mean? Because Jade gave you great advice. You buy it yourself.

[Jade]

Why wouldn't you?

[Ken]

Why wouldn't you.

[Jade]

You have 10 rentals.

[Haley]

Because. Because I love. Like, I am an investor at heart, so. No, stop.

[Ken]

That's such a crappy answer.

[Jade]

You said that three times and it still didn't.

[Ken]

What's the real reason? And you said this. Let me tell you what you said. So you said, well, yeah, Jade, you're right. But I want us to be on the same page. I want him to be in it with me. And I even think that's a cop out. So what?

[Haley]

He showed more income. So with our lender, they basically could not.

[Ken]

I know what the answer is. But you won't tell me. You're trying to play a game on interest rate because.

[Jade]

Not that.

[Ken]

What is it?

[Haley]

I think my lender basically qualified. Said that we would be qualified. Based on his income. Based off my rent.

[Jade]

Haley, you're smart. You know today that it's not a thing of numbers or interest rates or anything like. Because, you know, today, hey, if I really wanted this property, I could just sell off one of the ones I have. I could buy it in cash. Like, you know that. Are you trying to lock him in?

[Haley]

Yeah, I told him that I turned down a ring for a mortgage, but.

[Ken]

Okay, do you know how crazy that sounds? Why don't you just go down to the courthouse, get married. Do you want this guy to be your husband or not?

[Haley]

Yes.

[Ken]

Okay, well, then why don't you let him give you the ring?

[Haley]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jade]

What's the problem? Tell us. For real. For real. It's just us.

[Haley]

I have been independent for so long, and so with my, you know, being divorced and having my son, it's been. It's definitely scary.

[Ken]

Yeah, but you just told us. You just told us you want this guy to be your husband and you

[Jade]

were willing to do a more. Here's what I want to frame up for you. You said that you want to be independent, and maybe you've been burned before. All of those things. Do you understand? And I can. I'll validate for the. That that makes sense to me, that you would be. You would have some trepidation getting into another relationship. That makes sense. What doesn't make sense is how you are solving it. Because you're creating something that has the ability to be even more dramatic.

[Ken]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Even more work. Like, even worse for everybody if it were to go south. So why not fuel what you're feeling into a better solve? Which is, I might not be ready to get married yet. Maybe I'm not.

[Ken]

Great point.

[Haley]

That's okay.

[Jade]

If you're not ready to be married,

[Ken]

and Jade's making a great point. If it goes bad, then there's going to be a legal. Very clear legal decision on what happens with the house as an asset. But if you guys go in together and there's no legal marriage, then it's a mess. You know this.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Ken]

I don't think we can sell you on our philosophy, but I think if we come to your page. No, no, I'm not trying.

[Jade]

We're gonna go on your philosophy, which is you're independent.

[Ken]

So be independent and so be independent or then get legally married.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Ken]

So that this risk that you're afraid of goes away in the sense of it's going to be clean if there is another divorce and nobody wants to think about it. But that's your fear. So let's go there. So our. Our position that you should be married and comb. While it's coming from a different vantage point than you have, it does meet you where your biggest fear is. So take. Call this guy back. I wish we could get him on the phone and you. Because I would make you tell him that. That you were foolish and that you will take the ring.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Ken]

And with the ring comes an actual marriage. And we're going to do our money together and we're going to dominate.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jade]

We're gonna.

[Ken]

We're gonna heal from our past and we're gonna come together and we're gonna set out a vision for our life that we both are in lockstep on. And then we're just gonna do this thing.

[Jade]

How long have you been together?

[Haley]

Over two years.

[Ken]

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

[Jade]

Two years. And where are you guys living now? Where are you living now?

[Haley]

So we do live part of the time. We were pretty respectful of our kids. So when he has his child and I have mine, we kind of stay apart. But when we don't, we obviously are living with me. But so he's staying a lot more at my property, which is one of my investments that I am doing.

[Ken]

So I gotta tell you, this is exhausting. And by the way, the whole respect for the kids thing. They know what's happening. Let's stop playing games. Let's get married.

[Jade]

All right, Ken. I'm with you. I'm with you. I don't think she's ready. That's my hot take of the day.

[Ken]

And I think you're probably right.

[Jade]

I don't think she's ready.

[Ken]

You're always right. Create your free everydollar. Budget today.

[George]

The simplest way to budget for your life.