I Took Out $60,000 In Loans For My Ex

Summary

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The Ramsey Show Highlights: "I Took Out $60,000 In Loans For My Ex"

Date: November 16, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Featured Experts: Jade Warshaw (B), John Delony (C)
Caller: Jocelyn (A)
Theme: Learning from financial mistakes in relationships, taking control of debt, and healing after financial betrayal.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jocelyn calls into The Ramsey Show to share her story of taking out $60,000 in loans for her ex-boyfriend’s business and vehicles, only to be left responsible for the debt when the relationship ended. The hosts walk her through her financial (and emotional) journey, discuss the possibility and futility of legal recourse, and, most importantly, coach her on reframing her narrative from regret to empowerment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jocelyn’s Story: The Weight of Someone Else’s Debt

• Background: Jocelyn took out multiple loans (a business credit card, a personal loan for business vehicles, and a golf cart loan) for her ex-boyfriend, as his poor credit prevented him from qualifying himself.
• Breakup Fallout: After their split two years ago, her ex promised to keep paying but defaulted when he got a new girlfriend.
• Current Status: She has paid down the loans from $50-60k to $20k by sacrificing and moving back home, leveraging her stable nursing job.
  • Jocelyn (A), 00:06–01:02: "So when I left him, it was at, like, between 50 to 60 thousand dollars...I've gotten it down to 20,000."
• Sacrifices Made: Moved in with parents, worked extra as a nurse to attack the debt.

Legal Recourse: Possible, but Problematic

• Jocelyn wonders if she should sue her ex to recoup what he owes, based on advice from others.
  • Jocelyn (A), 01:14–01:31: "People always tell me to [sue], but when I've looked into it, it's kind of like a gray area."
• The experts clarify that since Jocelyn's name is on the loans and titles are not in her name, her legal recourse is limited.
  • Jade Warshaw (B), 01:34–01:38: "Because if your name's on the loan...there's kind of a little bit of a dead end. Unless there was some kind of contract..."
• Text messages from her ex promising payment hold little legal weight.
• Even if successful in court, enforcing payment is dubious, and it risks prolonged emotional attachment to the ex.
  • Jade Warshaw (B), 03:59–04:18: "Even if that did happen, and he did say, I'll make you monthly payments, he may be attached to you for the next eight years. There's a part of the freedom of...I don't even want to be attached to this anymore."

The Reality of Asset Recovery

• The vehicles and golf cart bought with her loans are titled in the ex’s name; efforts to repossess or sell them are fruitless.
  • Jocelyn (A), 02:30–02:47: "The cars he bought with cash...for his trucking company...ended up wrecked. The golf cart is also in his name."
  • Jade Warshaw (B), 03:01–03:03: "Yeah, that's right."

Shifting the Narrative

• The hosts urge Jocelyn to view the experience not as a mark of foolishness, but of resilience and personal integrity.
  • Dr. John Delony (C), 04:51–05:12: "I hope that you...write this in your brain as this guy tried to break me. But I paid off every dime of this because I'm awesome."
• Jocelyn’s rapid repayment and resolve are commended as exceptional and inspiring.
  • Jade Warshaw (B), 05:14–05:32: "The fact that you paid off 30,000...so quickly...I think that's incredible. So keep going."
• The show’s trademark term “stupid tax” is applied—regrettable financial missteps that make us smarter and become powerful lessons.
  • Jade Warshaw (B), 03:59–04:40: "They coined the phrase stupid tax here...All of us do it, right? Different situations...you think, that was so stupid. And now I'm paying for it."

Learning for All Listeners

• The story is positioned as a cautionary tale—relationships and money don’t mix without firm boundaries and legal safeguards.
  • Jade Warshaw (B), 05:34–06:07: "For everyone out there, it's a good learning. You get sucked into a situation...they're believable...I’m proud of you for paying it off and going forward."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the aftermath:
  Jocelyn (A), 01:02: “I've gotten it down to 20,000.”
  Jade Warshaw (B), 01:05: “Oh, good.”
• About legal options:
  Jade Warshaw (B), 01:34: “Because if your name's on the loan… there’s kind of a little bit of a dead end.”
• On emotional detachment:
  Jade Warshaw (B), 03:59: “…he may be attached to you for the next eight years… it’s a reminder every month… I can take care of myself, and I don’t even want to be attached to this anymore.”
• Empowerment & moving forward:
  Dr. John Delony (C), 04:51: “I hope that you… write this in your brain as this guy tried to break me. But I paid off every dime of this because I’m awesome.”
• Caution for listeners:
  Jade Warshaw (B), 05:34: “It’s a good learning… you get sucked into a situation and… they’re believable… you’re not stupid, Jocelyn… you get caught in a certain situation with a certain guy who persuades you in a certain way… I’m proud of you for paying it off…”

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Timestamps for Critical Segments

• Jocelyn tells her story: 00:06–01:14
• Legal avenues and limitations: 01:14–03:25
• Asset recovery explained: 02:11–03:03
• Risks of pursuing her ex for payment: 03:25–04:40
• Emotional empowerment and learning from mistakes: 04:51–05:34
• Lessons for listeners and wrap-up: 05:34–06:09

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Summary

Jocelyn’s story is a powerful cautionary tale about the dangers of mixing finances and relationships without safeguards. Despite a painful and expensive mistake, her determination to pay off the debt herself is reframed as a badge of resilience, not stupidity. The hosts urge her—and listeners—not to let financial failures define their self-worth, advocating for lessons learned and boundaries respected in future relationships.

Standout Advice:
"Write this in your brain as: this guy tried to break me. But I paid off every dime of this because I'm awesome."
— Dr. John Delony, 04:51

Listener Takeaway:
Mistakes may be costly, but they can also be the foundation for future financial wisdom and self-respect. Finish strong, forgive yourself, and move forward.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Four and a half years ago, I was with this guy and I took out loans for him because he didn't have good credit. So I took out. I know I took out a business credit card, which was one loan, and then I took out a personal loan, which he used to buy, like, vehicles for his business. And then I also took out a golf cart loan. Okay, so fast forward. And then two year two. He was paying everything at the time when we were together, but it was always minimum payments. So in reality, it probably didn't really pay that much. So then two years ago, we split up and he promised me, like, he would pay, pay me monthly. Well, he got a new girlfriend. And then, of course, you know, he stopped paying me. So when I left him, it was at like, it was between 50 to 60 thousand dollars that I owed, and I've gotten it down to 20,000.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Thanks. I. So I sacrificed by moving back home, like in with my parents. And then I just worked a lot. I'm a nurse, so I'm kind of lucky there. I can find a good job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was always stuck between, like, filing bankruptcy or paying it off. So obviously bankruptcy is not an option. But I always just wonder, like, if I should try to go back and sue him to get the money. People always tell me to, but when I've looked into it, it's kind of like a gray area.

[B]

Because if your name's on it.

[A]

I'm sorry?

[B]

Because if your name's on the loan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's kind of a little bit of a dead end. Unless there was some kind of contract that you guys had any type of legal documents. Did he?

[A]

No, no, there was no legal documents. You know, like, I have text messages, of course, where he'll be like, oh, I'm going to pay you, stuff like that. But nothing. Legal documents.

[C]

I mean, you could get a consultation to see, you know. But I really think that for you, you're so close to being done. You've got 20,000 to go. And you could just wash your hands of this entire situation.

[B]

The cars that he bought with the loan, were they. Were the cars under his name?

[A]

Yeah, they were under his name. And the. In the golf cart. It was really nice.

[C]

And he has all of it.

[A]

Whoever's listening to this, don't make those mist.

[C]

I'm sorry, does he have. Does he have everything? He has the golf cart. He has cars.

[A]

He has the cars. The cars he bought with, like, cash. They're like, they were like vans for his trucking company, and they ended up wrecked. So that could have been a sign. This is a disaster. The golf cart. Well, luckily. And then the golf cart. The golf cart is in his name also. So I tried to call the bank, because the loans in my name, but. And this all happened in Florida, in the state of Florida. Whoever's name is in the title, it doesn't matter who the loan is. The person in the title.

[B]

That's right. Yeah, that's right.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, there. It seems like there's nothing to even try to seize. If you wanted to ask him and say, hey, I buy. I. I bought these cars, the least you could do is send me one so I can sell it and get some of this money. Right. But I. I just. It sounds like that's not even a thing, right? I mean, he's. He's. He's awol, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Is he worth anything? Like, if, like, let's just say, perfect world, you find an attorney and they're like, oh, yeah, if you have text messages, we can prove this and take this to court and you can get your money back. Let's say they could. Does he have any money?

[A]

I mean, so that's the other thing is, like, because I was looking into it, I'm like. I mean, I'm sure. I'm sure he has money, but I don't know if, like, he would actually pay me, because when I look at. Online, when they go to court, like, if they don't pay you, they don't pay you. It's not. I don't know.

[C]

I don't think it's. Yeah, I think this guy is using women, and I don't think he has that.

[B]

And a part of me, too, Jocelyn, would say, even if you. Even if that did happen, and he did say, I'll make you monthly payments, he may be attached to you for the next eight years. You know what I mean? And there's a part of the freedom of, like, you just want. It's a reminder every month that even if you're getting money from him, it's still like, I'm a nurse and I can take care of myself, and, like, I don't even want to be attached to this anymore. And so, yeah, we kind of just. They coined the phrase stupid tax here on the show of just things that we do. All of us do it, right? Maybe at different dollar amounts and everything in different situations where you look back and you think, that was so stupid. And now I'm paying for it. And I think, yeah, I think that's the situation. I mean, that's what's so hard, Jocelyn, is now if he was a good guy, he could say, hey, let's refinance and I'll put my name on the loan so he gets your name off of it. All of it. But he's just like disappeared into the winds. I mean, it's unbelievable.

[C]

Jocelyn, I hope that you, I really hope that you allow this. Like, don't. As this lives in your mind, make sure you write the right story about it. Like, I don't want you to look at this and be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I did this terrible thing. I was so stupid. I was so. I hope that you write this in your brain as this guy tried to break me. But I paid off every dime of this because I'm awesome.

[B]

And flip the narrative.

[C]

Yes, please do. Because so many people would have just, I don't know, let that follow them for the rest of their life. Never fix it. Wait on someone else to come fix it for them. And the fact that you paid off 30,000. Yeah. So quickly. And that you're like, listen, I'll just do the rest of it. I think that that's incredible. So keep going.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Please.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, well. And I think like you said, Jocelyn, for everyone out there, it's a good learning. Right? Because you do, you get sucked into a situation and you think and they're believable. That's the other thing. It's like, you know, you're not stupid, Jocelyn. Obviously you're a very smart woman and you know, you get caught in a certain situation with a certain guy who persuades you in a certain way and you think, well, sure, you know what I mean, good looking, it is what it is. But yep, I'm proud of you for paying it off and going forward with it. Just like Jade said, create your free.

[A]

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[B]

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