I Totaled My Father-In-Law's Car... Again

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights - "I Totaled My Father-In-Law's Car... Again"

Episode Information

• Title: I Totaled My Father-In-Law's Car... Again
• Host: Ramsey Network
• Release Date: February 25, 2025
• Description: In this episode, Randall shares his recurring mishap of totaling his father-in-law's car by hitting a moose. The discussion delves into the complexities of insurance, ownership disputes, and familial relationships, with insights and advice from George and Michael.

---

1. Introduction to the Mishap

The episode kicks off with Randall announcing a second incident involving his father-in-law's car.

• [00:11] Randall: "Wrecked my father-in-law's car by hitting a moose up here."

George and Michael react with surprise and concern, highlighting the unusual nature of such accidents.

• [00:14] George: "Oh, no. So much going on in that sentence."

• [00:18] Michael: "Is that like a Tuesday in Alaska? Like, how often does this happen?"

2. Moose Encounters in Alaska

Randall explains the frequency of moose-related accidents in Alaska, illustrating the challenges of driving in such environments.

• [00:23] Randall: "We literally have a sign on the side of the road that has a number counter saying how many times a moose."

George adds to the context by sharing his own experiences in Alaska.

• [00:45] George: "Back when I was in my early 20s, I worked on a senate race in Alaska and spent a summer campaigning in Alaska. You would see moose at nighttime just chewing on people's trees in their front yard."

Michael underscores the persistent nuisance moose pose to residents.

• [01:03] Michael: "Are they a real nuisance over there, Randall?"

3. The Accident Details

Randall provides specifics about the accident, including the impact on the moose and the subsequent legal implications.

• [00:36] Randall: "I broke its leg. And then the cops had to come, you know, put it down. Unfortunately, that's how it goes up here."

George empathizes with the situation.

• [00:41] George: "Terrible."

The conversation shifts to the frequency of such incidents.

• [01:15] George: "Well, we're very sorry about that. And I got to tell you. Does the father-in-law know yet? Are we the first yet?"

4. Ownership and Insurance Complications

Randall delves into the complexities surrounding the ownership of the car and the insurance payout.

• [02:07] Randall: "This isn't the first car I’ve totaled of his, but it was his own. I know. I'm a terrible son-in-law."

George questions the arrangement and suggests a possible solution.

• [02:45] George: "Holder, which makes you. Yeah, you. This is sticky. But I mean, legally, it's your car."

Randall explains the initial agreement and lack of clear communication.

• [02:55] George: "Legally, it's your car. But what was the agreement when you guys made this?"

• [03:02] Randall: "If I pay the insurance and maintain the vehicle, I can drive it. We just kind of laughed and went on with our way. We didn't really communicate about it."

5. Father-In-Law's Claims and Disputes

The tension escalates as Randall discusses his father-in-law’s stance on the situation.

• [04:04] Randall: "Now he is saying that he's the owner of the vehicle, and if I wanted a payout, then I should have bought the vehicle."

Michael offers a critical perspective on the father-in-law's demands.

• [04:23] Michael: "He is not entitled to the payout. If you want to give him the 3500 bucks that he put into it, that's fine... but I'm not gonna give him a check for 10 grand while you're out of the car."

6. Communication Breakdown and Family Dynamics

Randall reveals the strain the situation has placed on his relationship with his wife and in-laws.

• [07:27] George: "What is your wife talk to him?"

• [07:33] Randall: "She. She's too much like her father. And I told her she's not allowed to talk to her parents right now until I figure it out because she might make the situation work."

George criticizes Randall's approach to handling family communication.

• [07:54] George: "You don't tell your wife she's not allowed to talk to her parents."

7. Advice and Recommendations

George and Michael provide actionable advice to Randall on resolving the conflict.

• [06:26] Michael: "I think the compromise is. I'm going to give him the money he paid in that gets him out of this. Don't care what he feels like he's deserved. I agree. That's what I would do."

George emphasizes the importance of finding a middle ground for the sake of family harmony.

• [07:19] George: "You're going to have to come down to not what is right in the grand sense of the word, but what is right for your relationship going forward. Unfortunately. And I think there's got to be a meeting in the middle, George, in order to make Thanksgiving."

8. Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode concludes with reflections on the importance of clear communication and setting boundaries to prevent such conflicts.

• [08:05] Ken: "CHM isn't health insurance. It's a health cost sharing ministry. Check it out for [e-mail] budget."

Key Takeaways:

• Clear Agreements: Establishing clear terms when sharing or loaning assets can prevent misunderstandings.
• Open Communication: Maintaining open lines of communication within families is crucial to resolving conflicts.
• Legal vs. Relationship Priorities: Balancing legal ownership with familial relationships often requires compromise and prioritization of relationships over strict legalities.

---

This episode serves as a cautionary tale about the complexities that can arise when personal relationships intersect with legal and financial responsibilities. Randall’s situation underscores the necessity of clear communication and defined agreements to maintain both legal clarity and familial harmony.

Transcript

[Ken]

Brought to you by chm, A biblically based alternative to health insurance. Learn [e-mail] Budget I just wrecked.

[Randall]

Wrecked my father in law's car by hitting a moose up here.

[George]

Oh, no. So much going on in that sentence.

[Michael]

Is that like a Tuesday in Alaska? Like, how often does this happen?

[Randall]

We literally have a sign on the side of the road that has a number counter saying how many times a moose.

[George]

Right. Wow.

[Randall]

You know, I. I have added a number to that.

[George]

Okay, and did you kill the moose?

[Randall]

I broke its leg. And then the cops had to come, you know, put it down. Unfortunately, that's how it goes up here.

[George]

Terrible.

[Randall]

All right. It's the last frontier, that's for sure.

[George]

Hey, I got to tell you, George, you may not know this about me, but back when I was in my early 20s, I worked on a senate race in Alaska and spent a summer campaigning in Alaska.

[Michael]

I did not know that.

[George]

And so you would see moose at nighttime just chewing on people's trees in their front y. Like we see deer.

[Michael]

Are they a real nuisance over there, Randall?

[George]

Oh, yeah, they.

[Randall]

They really are. Actually, I had, I had four of them in my front yard the other day, and somebody else hit one of them and totaled their car. So it happens on a regular occurrence.

[George]

Well, we're very sorry about that. And I got to tell you. Does the father in law know yet? Are we the first yet?

[Randall]

Yeah.

[George]

Boy, He.

[Randall]

He knows, he knows. But it's insurance that's making things tricky.

[George]

Well, so tell me about this. What's happened?

[Michael]

What's the deal with insurance?

[Randall]

This isn't the first car I total of his, but it was his own. I know. I'm a terrible son in law.

[George]

Maybe you should stop driving his cars.

[Michael]

Let's start with a common denominator here. I'm not even blaming the moose anymore.

[Randall]

I think you guys might be right. But this instance, it was a little tricky because two years ago he bought the car because he was gonna come up and visit me and the wife and the kids. And he used it for two weeks, and he hasn't been back in the last two years. And so he told us we could drive the car as long as I maintain it. And I, you know, pay insurance on it.

[George]

All right?

[Randall]

But we, we put the car entitled it under my name and registered it in my name because I'm up here in the state and if, if anything were to happen, I were to handle it. And so I have this insurance policy and I expected this clunky $3,500 car to only get, like a $3,000 payout. But for whatever reason, the insurance came back with a $10,000 payout, and it's a lot higher than expected. But I don't know who that money should go to. I kind of want the money, but it's kind of my father in law's car. But at the same time, I'm the title holder and I'm the insurance policy.

[George]

Holder, which makes you. Yeah, you. This is sticky. But I mean, legally, it's your car.

[Randall]

That's what.

[George]

Because he signed the title process.

[Michael]

What was the agreement when you guys made this? Was it, hey, I'm going to pay you this much money eventually?

[Randall]

Or what it was, if I pay the insurance and maintain the vehicle, I can drive it. And then we just kind of laughed and went on with our way. We didn't really communicate about it.

[George]

Well, wait a second. At some point, he had to sign the title over to you.

[Randall]

Well, when he bought the vehicle, he never signed it over into his name. We just went to the DMV and signed it into my name.

[Michael]

He paid for it in full?

[Randall]

Yes.

[Michael]

What did he pay for it?

[Randall]

3,500 bucks.

[Michael]

Okay.

[George]

All right. So what's the conversation been with him now? Because I appreciate all this detail.

[Michael]

Was this a loan? Was it? Did he say, hey, I'm going to need this money back, but you're going to pay the insurance. It'll be in your name? No, no, it was just essentially a gift.

[Randall]

Unfortunately, he's not much of a communicator. He never said that it was ours and it was a gift, but he said we can use it. And we've used it like it's ours, and we've used it for two years, and he's used it for two weeks.

[George]

Yeah, but what is he saying now? We've established how this all happened. What is he saying now?

[Randall]

Yeah, now he is saying that he's the owner of the vehicle, and if I wanted a payout, then I should have bought the vehicle. But that's actually the scenario I tried proposing to him is, let me just buy the vehicle from you right now. And this was before I knew what the insurance payout was. Let me just buy it from you and make it.

[Michael]

He is not entitled to the payout. If you want to give him the 3500 bucks that he put into it, that's fine, and let that be off your conscience. But I'm not gonna give him a check for 10 grand while you're out of the car. You're gonna be back in the situation again. He's gonna buy you a car that you're gonna have to maintain and own, yet he has these weird purse strings attached. I don't like this.

[Randall]

Let me. Let me ruffle your feathers some more, George. He's contacting. He started contacting the insurance agencies so that he could get updates and try to get the total amount disclosed to him behind my back. And he's the type that will, you know, cut off ties.

[Michael]

Don't they have to, like, verify identity? How does he even have access to talk to your insurance folks?

[Randall]

I'm. I'm not 100% sure, but the insurance has been sending him emails and, and, and, you know, discussing this policy with him. So I don't even know if this is kosher.

[George]

It's not. Well, first of all, this is a. All right, this is a relationship mess, right? And there. I got to tell you, I'm very excited. George is ruffled. I'm fired up, and I'll tell you why. I always wanted to be one of those judges on tv, you know what I mean? When people come in and it's Judge Ken, and this is a Judge Ken kind of dream scenario to try to figure out, because you've got on one hand, George, the father in law does buy the car with his money in. And I'm going to make this up. And in natural law, that's his car. But, all right, he goes to the DMV and he. Let's literally, let's Randall sign the title as though it's his. So legally, under the real law, it's Randall's car now. Father in law wants the money. He sees a little windfall. There's my car. I'm letting you take care of it. He was the best of both worlds. I'm a good father in law. I got my daughter, sweet daughter. It's like you buying a car for me as loser husband down the road.

[Michael]

Oh, gosh, I don't want to think about that.

[George]

But Randall, you aren't a loser at all, I don't think. Just kidding, Randall. So. So now you've got the situation where he does this favor for you guys, but he wants you to handle the insurance. Now he wants the money. This is manipulative in every sense of the word. And Randall, this is a problem, but I'm bringing all this up and kind of laying it out here because you have one response. This is not your car. Legally, you let me use it. He's going to say, yeah, but you know what? I did and I bought it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so you're going to have to come down to not what is right in the grand sense of the word, but what is right for your relationship going forward, unfortunately. And I think there's got to be a meeting in the middle, George, in order to make Thanksgiving.

[Michael]

That's where I think the compromise is. I'm going to give him the money he paid in that gets him out of this. Don't care what he feels like he's deserved. I agree. That's what I would do.

[George]

Randall, how your wife's going to be ugly.

[Michael]

What does Randall's wife think about this brand?

[George]

What is your wife talk to him?

[Randall]

She. She's too much like her father. And I told her she's not allowed to talk to her parents right now until I figure it out because she might make the situation work.

[George]

You told her she's not allowed to talk to her parents?

[Randall]

Yeah.

[George]

This is a soap opera until we figure it out. No, you don't tell your wife she's not allowed to talk to her parents.

[Randall]

Well, I meant. I meant about the. About the situation. I'm not going to refuse her from FaceTiming with Grandma.

[George]

Oh, that's kind of you.

[Michael]

Kind? We said our piece.

[Ken]

CHM isn't health insurance. It's a health cost sharing ministry. Check it out for [e-mail] budget.