I Was Dumped Because I Work Too Much

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I Was Dumped Because I Work Too Much"

The Ramsey Show Highlights Episode released on March 26, 2025, delves into the complexities of balancing work and personal relationships. Hosted by the Ramsey Network, this episode features a candid discussion between Dave Ramsey, Chris, and a guest named Kyle, who shares his experience of a significant relationship fallout attributed to his intense work schedule.

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1. Introduction to Kyle's Dilemma

At the outset of the episode, Kyle poses a heartfelt question regarding his work-life balance:

Kyle [00:10]: "I just got a quick question on if I'm too work obsessed and like obsessed about making money."

His concern stems from a recent breakup, prompting him to seek advice on whether his dedication to his career has overshadowed his personal relationships.

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2. Kyle's Extensive Work Schedule and Business Endeavors

Kyle provides an overview of his demanding schedule, highlighting his dual roles as a teacher and an entrepreneur:

Kyle [00:20]: "My girlfriend recently, we broke up, we split up and she moved out just because I was never home. I work about probably 80 to 90 hours a week."

He elaborates on his commitments:

• Teaching: Kyle teaches full-time and also takes on summer school, earning an additional income.

Kyle [01:17]: "I'm making about 50 with summer school because I'll do summer school as well."

• Lawn Care Business: Three years ago, Kyle launched a lawn care company that has grown significantly.

Kyle [00:45]: "I started a lawn care company that's taken off and now like all my time was obsessed with that and I just have no time for really anything else."

He shares impressive financial figures from his business:

Kyle [01:01]: "Last year I did about 125k in revenue and about 90 in profit."

Kyle's commitment is evident as he manages both teaching and lawn care, working between eight to ten lawns daily during mowing season.

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3. Goals and Financial Vision

When questioned about his motivations, Kyle reveals a clear financial objective:

Kyle [02:10]: "My goal is to try and pay off my house as quickly as possible."

With a remaining mortgage balance of $135, Kyle aims to eliminate it within two more mowing seasons. Post-mortgage, he envisions hiring employees to sustain and grow his business, allowing him to reduce his work hours and focus more on other aspects of his life.

Kyle [02:30]: "I'm hoping to hire some employees and continue it for a few more years because I'm only 26, and then just grow it from there."

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4. Relationship Strain and Breakup

Dave Ramsey addresses the core issue leading to Kyle's breakup:

Dave Ramsey [02:46]: "She told you repeatedly that she was not happy with you never being there. This was not a one conversation."

Kyle confirms that his girlfriend had consistently expressed dissatisfaction with his absence:

Kyle [03:09]: "Yes."

The dialogue explores whether Kyle's intense focus equates to obsession or deliberate intentionality. Chris, the co-host, probes deeper into the nature of Kyle's relationship and financial alignment with his ex-girlfriend.

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5. Obsession vs. Focused Intentionality

A central theme of the discussion is distinguishing between being obsessed with work and being purposefully focused. Chris raises this critical point:

Chris [04:22]: "I don't know that you're obsessed. I think you're focused. A fine line."

Dave acknowledges Kyle's determination but questions the sacrifices made for his goals:

Dave Ramsey [04:18]: "You might be a wee bit intense for paying off the house, but you do have a set goal."

The conversation highlights that while Kyle's intentions are commendable, the lack of flexibility and prioritization may have jeopardized his personal relationships.

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6. Advice and Insights from Hosts

Dave and Chris offer their perspectives on Kyle's situation:

• Dave Ramsey: Emphasizes the importance of valuing relationships alongside financial goals. He suggests that if someone values a relationship, they would find ways to balance work without completely sacrificing personal time.

  Dave Ramsey [04:27]: "And so, I mean, honestly, if the relationship meant some, meant a lot to you, you would have hired somebody to help you with the lawns, and you'd have been home a little."

• Chris: Encourages Kyle to reflect on whether he could adjust his timeline to accommodate his personal life without derailing his financial objectives.

  Chris [06:21]: "If you slow down the timeline to pay the house off a little bit because you want to give it another shot with her, is that something that you feel like you could willingly do?"

• Dave Ramsey: Reinforces that Kyle's actions were a conscious choice to prioritize his goals over the relationship, which led to its end.

  Dave Ramsey [07:44]: "You had a goal that was really important to you and it wasn't important to her."

The hosts collectively advise Kyle to acknowledge his choices, live with their consequences, and continue forward with his financial plans, affirming that his approach was intentional rather than obsessive.

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7. Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode wraps up with a reflection on the delicate balance between ambition and personal life. Key takeaways include:

• Intentionality Over Obsession: Kyle's situation underscores the importance of setting clear goals while maintaining flexibility to nurture personal relationships.

• Prioritization and Balance: Effective time management and prioritization can help achieve financial objectives without compromising personal connections.

• Conscious Choices and Consequences: Recognizing that every choice has consequences allows individuals to make informed decisions aligning with their values and long-term happiness.

The hosts conclude by affirming Kyle's decisions as purposeful, encouraging him to pursue his goals while being mindful of the areas where adjustments could foster more balanced living.

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Notable Quotes:

• Kyle [00:20]: "I work about probably 80 to 90 hours a week."
• Dave Ramsey [02:46]: "She told you repeatedly that she was not happy with you never being there."
• Chris [04:22]: "I don't know that you're obsessed. I think you're focused."
• Dave Ramsey [04:27]: "You would have hired somebody to help you with the lawns, and you'd have been home a little."
• Chris [06:21]: "If you slow down the timeline to pay the house off a little bit because you want to give it another shot with her, is that something that you feel like you could willingly do?"

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This episode serves as a poignant exploration of the sacrifices entailed in the pursuit of financial security and success, offering listeners valuable insights into achieving a harmonious balance between professional ambition and personal fulfillment.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Kyle]

So I just, I got a quick question on if I'm too work obsessed and like obsessed about making money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. What makes you think you are?

[Kyle]

So my girlfriend recently, we broke up, we split up and she moved out just because I was never home. I work about probably 80 to 90 hours a week. We're both teachers to start with. But then three years ago I started a lawn care company that's taken off and now like all my time was obsessed with that and I just, you know, I spent so much time doing that, I just have no time for really anything else.

[Chris]

Are you still teaching and doing lawn care?

[Kyle]

Yes. So it works out pretty well. I teach and then after I teach I go and I mow between eight to ten lawns a day during mowing season.

[Chris]

How much are you making on the lawn care business?

[Kyle]

So lawn care, last year I did about 125k in revenue and about 90 in profit.

[Chris]

What'd you pay? Myself?

[Dave Ramsey]

90 profit?

[Kyle]

Yeah, 90 profit. I'm the only employee.

[Chris]

Okay, I got you. So, and then how much are you making as a teacher?

[Kyle]

So I'm making about 50 with summer school because I'll do summer school as well.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you're working 80 hours. Why are you working 80 hours?

[Kyle]

Just because it's between teaching and then mowing all the lawns and stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Kyle]

So my goal is to try and pay off my house as quickly as possible.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long is it going to take you doing this?

[Kyle]

I got about, I got 135 left on the mortgage and I'm hoping that two more mowing seasons and then that'll be done with.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And when the house is paid off, what are you going to do with your work schedule?

[Kyle]

I'm hoping that hopefully hire some employees and continue it For a few more years because I'm only 26, and then just grow it from there. So that way teaching is just way to use it. Because I just hated having half of my teaching paycheck taken out just for my mortgage. I just hated seeing that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so she told you repeatedly that she was not happy with you never being there. This was not a one conversation.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you consciously chose to continue to work, knowing that she probably wasn't going to be around. You chose. You chose the goal of hard work and paying off the house over the girl.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Chris]

Was she the one?

[Kyle]

And then. I'm sorry, what?

[Chris]

Was she the one?

[Dave Ramsey]

Not if you choose lawn care over her.

[Chris]

Well, not necessarily. That's why we're figuring out, is he obsessed or focused? A fine line.

[Kyle]

And then. Yeah, just in the thing that, like, I keep, like, now that she's gone and stuff, and I'm just here in my house, like, by myself. And the one thing she said to me as she was leaving was, is it worth it just to be in this house all alone by herself if it's paid off and everything and if you're making all this money. And at the time, I thought maybe it was. And now I'm here and everything, and I'm just, you know, going back and forth in my head about it.

[Chris]

Well, back to my question. I mean, I'm on. Is she somebody that you were thinking at the time before she walks out on you, that she's the one for.

[Dave Ramsey]

You, you're going to spend your life with her?

[Kyle]

I was thinking, yes. But also, are just our financial visions kind of aren't aligned.

[Chris]

Oh, now, see, this is why I asked the question. I think this is. I. I don't know that you're obsessed. I think you're focused.

[Dave Ramsey]

You might be a wee bit intense.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

For paying off the house, but you do have a set goal.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so, I mean, honestly, if the relationship meant some, meant a lot to you, you would have hired somebody to help you with the lawns, and you'd have been home a little.

[Chris]

That's what I was doing.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you would have taken one more year to pay off the house. Instead of two years, you're going to do it three years. And you could have easily adjusted this. And you've already thought of all that. But you're just like, I'm going for it. And if you want to go for the ride, go for the ride. She's like, I'm out.

[Chris]

And Dave, though, but you're the perfect person for him to talk to here. I want to bring this back. He wasn't sure that she's the one because of her values on.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right, right.

[Chris]

And that's legit for him to have that check in his spirit. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I mean. And. But he put it to the test is what he did. And she flunked.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So, I mean, that's it. Yeah. It's.

[Chris]

I. I'm not concerned. I guess I don't have any flags here on this.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't. I. Well, the only thing that I've got off is. Listen, someone that's willing to pay a price to win is always going to win.

[Chris]

I like that person.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And so I'm aligned with you on all that. And I've done similar things to what you're doing. I did not run off my wife. Of course, this wasn't your wife, but I didn't run off my wife with hard work. On the contrary, my wife was the one that said, would you please go get some money.

[Chris]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Would you get up? I don't. We don't really need to sit here and hold hands and watch someone else on television. Be successful. You need to get off your butt and go get some money. We're poor. That's the woman I'm married to. Quite the opposite of the woman. Woman that left you. Okay. So, yeah, yeah, she's, you know, merciless, but. Okay.

[Chris]

Now, the flip side to this is.

[Dave Ramsey]

We don't teach to pay off your mortgage that you're intense. We teach your intentional.

[Chris]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's the only thing that's throwing me a little bit here. But, no, you're not obsessed. You have a set goal. You're willing to pay a price to hit that goal, and there is an end to it. You're not working just to be working. You didn't tell me I want to do this for the rest of my life. You said, I'm doing it to this point. And then I'm going to dial back, and then I'm going to go on to the other things. And I'm. I'm a person that sets and hits goals. I know you're not obsessed and. No, but here is the question.

[Chris]

There is another question I think he has to ask himself. I'll leave this as your homework. If you slow down the timeline to pay the house off a little bit because you want to give it another shot with her, is that something that you feel like you could willingly do? You got to answer that. We can't answer that for you.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't think he wants another shot with her because they're not aligned financially.

[Chris]

Well, he sounds lonely.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, that doesn't mean that she's the reason.

[Chris]

I know, but I'm saying he could sit down.

[Dave Ramsey]

She might not be the solution to lonely.

[Chris]

I agree, but I'd sit her down one time ago. All right, you don't. Oh, see, I thought I was trying to.

[Dave Ramsey]

She. She jumped out of the plane, pulled the shoot.

[Chris]

That's where I started. Trying to soften my stance. I went with you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Too bad. I'm not chasing her. She bailed.

[Chris]

I agree with that, actually. Sorry, I thought I was being too much of a hardliner over here.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do I know anything about any of this? I've been married for 43 years. I haven't been on a date other than my wife 47 years, so I don't know nothing.

[Chris]

We don't know anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Completely unqualified.

[Chris]

Isn't that true?

[Dave Ramsey]

In matters of dating and love?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're ancient and that's it. But it's fun. It's fun to participate. Whatever. Hey, Kyle, I think you're okay. And I. I think you. You just need to make. What I was doing is. I'm always going to make clear in my mind what actually occurred. She said, we're not aligned. I don't think the goal is as important as you do.

[Chris]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And she left. And she left. And you said, I think this goal is more important than a girl I'm not aligned with. And so I'm going to stay on the goal. Knowing that because you were warned and you didn't change, so you made a conscious choice, and that's an okay thing. Just say that out loud, live with it, and go. Now. Is it because you're obsessed? No, it's because you're not aligned. It's because you had a goal that was really important to you and it wasn't important to her.

[Chris]

And she would have been a keeper if she'd have said something along the lines of, hey, listen, I am totally for this. I see it, I believe in it, I'm all in. But how can I spend a little bit more time with me? Can we just carve some intentional.

[Dave Ramsey]

Can we figure this out here? That would have been how can I help? You know, that kind of thing. That. That's right, But. But instead, it's like you're choosing lawnmowers over me.

[Chris]

Is it worth it to sit in this house alone?

[Dave Ramsey]

Just sit over there by yourself. Just sit over there by yourself.

[Chris]

Now we're into voices.

[Dave Ramsey]

Kill me now. We're.

[Chris]

What are we doing?

[Dave Ramsey]

This is.

[Chris]

Guys, we're like the two old Muppets. That's it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Muppets. This is awful.

[Chris]

Laughing at her own jokes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Bad radio. It's bad humanity.

[Chris]

Good news. Commercials coming up.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. Thank God. Something entertaining. If anyone. Depends on your income. You need affordable term life. Never cash value insurance. Visit Zander.com today for quotes.