I'm 24 And My Mom Has Been Financially Taking Advantage Of Me

Summary

Podcast Title: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Host: Ramsey Network
Episode: I'm 24 And My Mom Has Been Financially Taking Advantage Of Me
Release Date: August 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, hosted by Dave Ramsey, a 24-year-old caller named Dominic shares his distressing experience of financial exploitation by his own mother. The conversation delves deep into the emotional and financial turmoil Dominic faces, offering listeners valuable insights into handling similar familial financial abuses.

Caller’s Story: Financial Exploitation and Its Impact

Dominic begins by outlining the troubling situation:

Dominic [00:06]: "Essentially my mother has been taking advantage of me financially over the last couple of years. So trying to just figure out what the best steps are moving forward and how to set myself up for success."

He elaborates on the specifics, revealing that his mother fell victim to a business scam, which led her to involve Dominic in making repayments:

Dominic [00:37]: "...she gave him over $10,000 cash, as well as taking out multiple loans in my name, which I am now stuck with the payments on. In addition to co-signing the mortgage for the house, which she is now making several late payments on my credit."

Dominic highlights the longevity of this issue, stating it began when he was 20 years old:

Dominic [01:15]: "It's been going on for several years now. So it essentially first started when I was 20, when we first moved out here."

The financial strain became unbearable when Dominic moved out independently, leading him to realize the full extent of the debts and their impact on his credit score:

Dominic [01:34]: "...until I tried to get my own place and realized again how far I was behind. And now seeing how my credit is completely ruined and these loan payments are just destroying me."

Discussion and Advice: Strategies for Financial Recovery

Dave Ramsey responds empathetically to Dominic's plight:

Dave Ramsey [00:21]: "I'm sorry, what. What does that mean? That sounds horrible."

He quickly assesses the total financial burden Dominic bears:

Dave Ramsey [03:08]: "So $4,000 gets you out of this mess, not counting the CO signature on the house."

Dominic reveals his current financial status and debt details:

Dominic [03:29]: "Correct. So the loan payments are in my name only. Those equal to about, I want to say 4,000 as of right now... and then I also have a vehicle loan of about $8,000."

Dave Ramsey's Key Recommendations:

1. Aggressive Debt Repayment:

   • Dave Ramsey [04:12]: "Just clean up $12,000 worth of debt, pay off your car, pay off the loans. It's as fast as you can."
   • He emphasizes the emotional toll of debt, equating each payment to "raking your fingernails across the chalkboard of your heart."

2. Cease Mortgage Payments:

   • Dave Ramsey [05:13]: "You do not pay it. Do not pay the house payment under any circumstances."
   • This bold advice aims to sever the financial ties that perpetuate Dominic's credit issues.

3. Evaluate Housing Options:

   • Dave Ramsey [05:30]: "What do you think the house is worth?"
   • Dominic assesses minimal equity in the home, suggesting limited financial gain from selling.

4. Consider Legal Action (With Caution):

   • Dave Ramsey [06:52]: "Your third option, which is not a good one, but it's an actual option, is to sue her and cause the house to be sold..."
   • Caution is advised, highlighting the potential strain on the mother-son relationship.

5. Emotional and Community Support:

   • Dave Ramsey [09:09]: "I would sit down with a good local pastor. Make sure you get a relationship built in a good church..."
   • He underscores the importance of building a supportive community to aid in emotional recovery.

Conclusion: Moving Forward with Financial and Emotional Healing

Dave Ramsey offers final words of empathy and encouragement:

Dave Ramsey [09:11]: "You've had a lot of trauma. Yeah. I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry."

He reiterates the importance of financial independence and emotional healing, encouraging Dominic to build a life free from financial abuse and seek supportive relationships.

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Key Takeaways

• Recognize Financial Abuse: It's crucial to identify when trusted individuals exploit your financial resources.

• Aggressive Debt Management: Prioritize paying off personal debts swiftly to regain financial stability.

• Severing Toxic Financial Ties: In situations where co-signing or shared debts harm your credit, consider stopping payments to protect your financial future.

• Seek Emotional Support: Building a supportive community can aid in overcoming the emotional scars of financial exploitation.

• Legal Considerations: While legal action is an option, it should be approached with caution due to potential personal repercussions.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dominic [00:06]: "My mother has been taking advantage of me financially over the last couple of years."

• Dave Ramsey [04:12]: "Just clean up $12,000 worth of debt... It hurts again."

• Dave Ramsey [05:13]: "Do not pay the house payment under any circumstances."

• Dave Ramsey [08:11]: "You've got to walk clean and go make a life for yourself and then forgive her from that position of strength..."

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This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities involved in familial financial relationships and the importance of setting clear boundaries to ensure personal financial health and emotional well-being.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Dominic]

So I'll be as brief as possible, but essentially my mother has been taking advantage of me financially over the last couple years. So trying to just figure out what the best steps are moving forward and how to set myself up for success.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry, what. What does that mean? That sounds horrible. Your mother has been taking advantage of you. How old are you?

[Dominic]

I just turned 24 on Saturday.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And what. What has your mother been doing to take advantage of you financially?

[Dominic]

So she was part of a business scam, essentially, with her business. They told her that she won a lawsuit. The whole thing was a scam. Ended up sending them tens of thousands of dollars. And she came to me for help and to make the payments on that essentially gave her over $10,000 cash, as well as taking out multiple loans in my name, which I am now stuck with the payments on. In addition to co signing the mortgage for the house, which she is now making several late payments on my.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how old were you when all that happened?

[Dominic]

It's been going on for several years now. So it essentially first started when I was 20, when we first moved out here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, at what point did you. At what point did you realize this was not going to work and stop it?

[Dominic]

Essentially, once, at the beginning of this year, once I moved out on my own and I realized the significance of how far behind I was on all of this. It didn't really click to me when I was still living with her because I was just under her roof, you know, following her rules, not really thinking too much of it until I tried to get my own place and realized again how far I was behind. And now seeing how my credit is completely ruined and these loan payments are just destroying me, trying to take care of Brent on my own.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much. How much debt have you signed up for to help your mom?

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[Dave Ramsey]

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[Dave Ramsey]

How much debt have you signed up for to help your mom?

[Dominic]

So the house Is I want to say over. Over 400,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Aside from the house, you co signed the house. The other debts are just in your name, right?

[Dominic]

Yes. Correct. So the loan payments are in my name only. Those equal to about, I want to say 4,000 as of right now. Again, I've been making the on time payment.

[Dave Ramsey]

So $4,000 gets you out of this mess, not counting the CO signature on the house.

[Dominic]

And then I also have a vehicle loan of about $8,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Who's got the vehicle, you or her?

[Dominic]

It's me.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so you have that. Okay.

[Dominic]

Yes. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so the abuse was $4,000 plus co signing a mortgage.

[Dominic]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you make?

[Dominic]

I'm on track to make about 50 this year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good for you. Okay. All right, so here's the good news. The math of the abuse is a one and a half to a two. On a scale of one to ten, the emotional damage that your mother did this to you is a 10 out of 10.

[Dominic]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

It breaks your heart and it confuses you as a young man trying to get started that the person who should be the most taking care of you instead has been taking advantage of you.

[Dominic]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

So real simple. Just clean up $12,000 worth of debt, pay off your car, pay off the loans. It's as fast as you can. The sooner you get them paid off, the sooner, because every time you write a check or submit a payment in the computer, it rakes your fingernails across the chalkboard of your heart. It hurts again. And so I want that out of your life. I want the $4,000 loan paid off as soon as possible. If you work, do you have any money saved?

[Dominic]

No, it's. Honestly, at this point, it's so.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you just got out and you just got a $50,000 job. Okay. And you're working 40 hours.

[Dominic]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I want you to pick up. I want you to pick up a side hustle. Pick up a side hustle and I want you to pay off this $12,000 really, really fast. Okay? Like before Christmas. I want it gone.

[Dominic]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Now if you don't have a car payment and you don't have $4,000 in debt, the only outstanding problem is, is the CO signing on the mortgage. Does that make sense?

[Dominic]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And she's going to continue to trash your credit because she's not going to pay it on time and you're not going to pay it. You do not pay it. Do you hear me? Do not pay the house payment under any circumstances. Do not pay the house payment. Okay. Now what is Owed on the house in total.

[Dominic]

Do you know, again, I was just looking on Experian and I believe it's at 430,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you think the house is worth it?

[Dominic]

There's not going to be. It doesn't have much equity on it at all. We just moved in last year, I believe so we'd be lucky to get what it's worth.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I thought you refinanced the house to pay the scam, not to move in.

[Dominic]

No, no, it was never refi. Refinance. It's just everything that, that we had come out of pocket because she had the money at the time to pay. But then they just, they. The. The scam was a total of almost a hundred thousand dollars that she gave, including the 10,000 that I gave her out of pocket. So the house is.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you lost $10,000 of your money?

[Dominic]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where did you get that?

[Dominic]

All these. At the time, I was just saving up because I was still living with her, so it was a lot easier to. To save up. At the time. I was paying her rent as well, but not nearly what I'm paying now, living on my own.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. Man, I'm so sorry. This is such a scar and such a thing to emotionally overcome. So the only way the co signing goes away is if she refinances the house or sells the house and pays off the mortgage. Until then, your co signature is going to be tearing up your mortgage, tearing up your credit forever.

[George]

And the fact that you had to co sign tells me that she can't afford this on her own if she chose to refinance, which means she can't live there.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're best case scenario is you talk her into selling the house to get both of you free. That's not likely. This woman is not concerned about other people. She's concerned about herself. But if you can talk her into that, that's your best case scenario. Your next best case is just wait it out and your credit gets destroyed until some day she wakes up and sells the house. Okay. Your third option, which is not a good one, but it's an actual option, is to sue her and cause the house to be sold because she's not paying the payment and she's destroying your credit. But I don't recommend that. It's gonna be very expensive and you will never have a conversation with your mother again. Even though I'm not sure that'd be a bad thing in this case.

[George]

But the house is gonna get sold. The question is, do you wanna do it with her under control or someone selling it for her in a foreclosure.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[George]

The lender going, hey, you got to get out.

[Dave Ramsey]

If she comes to you for a payment, do not give her a dime. Did you hear me?

[Dominic]

Yes, sir, I hear you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you going to do that?

[Dominic]

Of course. I'll never. I'll never make a payment towards that ever again.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. If you ever give her another dime, then you fall back into the web of the spider. Okay.

[Dominic]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Don't do it. You've got to walk clean and go make a life for yourself and then forgive her from that position of strength because she's obviously messed up. I'm so sorry. She was so scared and so desperate after getting scammed that she trashed her own child. And that's how afraid she was. And that's a sad, sad thing and a sad place to be. And I'm sorry for your broken heart. So lastly, Dominic, I think if I were you, I would sit down with a good local pastor. Make sure you get a relationship built in a good church and get around some people who are. Who treat people well and love people well and don't take advantage of people because you need some normal human beings in your life because you hadn't had one in a while.

[George]

You've had a lot of trauma.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.