I'm 27 And Supporting My Parents (It's Crushing Me)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – I'm 27 And Supporting My Parents (It's Crushing Me)

Date: June 28, 2026
Host: Dave Ramsey
Guests: Chris Hogan, Jade Warshaw (brief commentary)
Caller: Jay

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on Jay, a 27-year-old caller feeling financially trapped while supporting his parents. Jay is burdened with debt, juggles two jobs, goes to school, and feels pressure to provide for his disabled father and working mother. Dave Ramsey and Chris Hogan dissect Jay’s financial situation, offering hard truths about boundaries, debt, and family support—emphasizing the need for Jay to reclaim his financial independence by making tough decisions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jay’s Overwhelming Financial and Family Situation

• Debt Breakdown:
  • $35,000–$45,000 in total debt (credit cards, two vehicle loans, personal loans).
  • Two vehicle loans:
    • 2021 Hyundai Elantra ($11,000 left—his car)
    • 2018 GMC Denali ($21,000 left—his father's car)
• Income: $3,200–$3,500/month; two jobs; in school.
• Living Situation: With parents.
• Parental Support: Father is disabled (nerve damage, arthritis), mother works ($20/hour), both on limited income.
• Emotional Toll: Jay is overwhelmed, feels “financially behind in life.” (00:06–00:40)

2. Family's Vehicle Debts and the Root Problem

• Dave challenges why Jay has two car loans:
  • Jay reveals the Denali is for his father, who fell on hard times.
  • Jay acknowledges, “Looking back on it, was too much of a burden to take on.” (01:07)
• Dave stresses that the family “cannot afford the Denali,” adding, “You are way too broke to be supporting other people. That’s why you’re stuck.” (03:34)

3. Understanding Disability and Income Constraints

• Clarifies the misunderstanding about disability (SSI) and income eligibility. Jay’s mom’s earnings shouldn’t disqualify the father. “If someone’s permanently disabled, your mom can make $800,000 a year and your dad still gets his disability SSI. So somebody’s confused somewhere on the messaging.” (02:35)

4. Financial Reality Checks and Next Steps

• Dave and Chris insist the Denali must be sold.
• Emphasize that Jay’s overhead is low (no rent, some household expenses), making it feasible to attack his debt aggressively if the Denali payment disappears.
• “If you didn’t have the Denali payment, your life all of a sudden starts working again.” (04:57)

5. Emotional Realities and Setting Boundaries

• Chris empathizes, asking Jay how it feels hearing these truths. Jay admits it’s painful, but he realizes change is needed. (04:01–04:21)
• Dave affirms Jay’s good intentions but warns:
  • “You can do the wrong thing out of a good heart.”
  • Stresses that blending finances in this way is “not good for any of you.” (04:24)
• Solution: Sell the Denali, clear debts, support parents emotionally, but don’t let financial mistakes continue.

6. How to Shift the Family Dynamic

• Jay is confident he can discuss this with his parents—he has a strong relationship, and his father supports his desire to “do better” in life. (06:36)
• Dave recommends parents buy a reliable $5,000–$6,000 car with cash, emphasizing practicality over status:
  • “There’s nothing wrong with a five or six thousand dollar car… It’s not pretty, but it’s reliable.” (05:23–06:11)

7. The Numbers Game: Practical Financial Plan

• The Denali payment: $508/month (06:54)
• Without the Denali, Jay could dedicate $2,500+/month to debt repayment. Dave estimates Jay could be debt-free in a year, provided he stays committed.
• Chris and Dave lay out the process: Tackle smallest debts first, then snowball payments, save up $10,000 once debt-free, and plan for independence and future stability.(08:12–09:10)
• Chris: “All that can happen in 18 months or less—being debt-free and saving up ten thousand dollars.” (09:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey:
  • "You are way too broke to be supporting other people. That’s why you’re stuck." (03:34)
  • “You can do the wrong thing out of a good heart.” (04:24)
  • "There’s nothing wrong with a five or six thousand dollar car… it’s reliable. You’re not trying to win any sex appeal jobs anyway.” (05:50)
  • “You get out on your own, you’re debt-free, you got $10,000 in the bank, you’re a different guy. It puts you in a whole different world.” (08:49)
• Chris Hogan:
  • “How does that hit you, Jay?” (04:01)
  • “Nine out of ten people that are having money problems… there’s a relational component.” (09:58)
• Jay:
  • “It hits me… I’ve known it for a while, it’s a realization.” (04:07)
  • “My dad is always telling me he wants me to win. He wants me to do better than he did.” (06:41)

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Important Timestamps

• Jay explains financial struggle: 00:06–00:40
• Details about vehicles and debts: 00:44–01:36
• Discussion about disability and income: 02:15–02:35
• Dave outlines the problem & emotional toll: 03:34–04:24
• Chris and Dave coach on next steps: 05:22–06:29
• Family relationship and boundary setting: 06:32–06:50
• Denali payment and financial plan: 06:54–08:12
• Summing up with hope and plan: 08:12–end

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Structure and Tone Reflecting the Show

The conversation is direct but compassionate, blending hard financial advice with empathy for Jay’s familial loyalty. Dave and Chris are honest, practical, and encouraging, emphasizing tough love, practical next steps, and the immense emotional weight family finances can carry.

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Takeaway

Jay’s case is a classic example of how family loyalty and goodwill can sometimes lead to harmful financial entanglements. The core advice:
Free yourself first so you can sustainably help others—set boundaries, sell off burdensome assets, attack debt with intensity, and focus on building your own future.

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Summary by Podcast Assistant – Listen to The Ramsey Show Highlights for quick, actionable money and life advice!

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Jay]

I'm just calling. I am 27 years old. I still currently live with my parents. I am 35 to $45,000 in debt. That's with credit cards, two vehicle loans, and personal loans. And I make roughly 32 to 3,500amonth. I work two jobs and I'm going to school. And I'm just, you know, very overwhelmed. And I just feel like I'm finding financially behind in life. Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

So did you say you had two car debts?

[Jay]

Yes, they. It's a 2021 Honda Elantra and a 2018 Denali. The Elantra, I have about 11,000 left on it. The Denali, I have 21,000 left on it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you married?

[Jay]

I am not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why do you have two cars?

[Jay]

The 2021 Hyundai Elantra is mine. The 2018 Denali is my father's. He is disabled, so he is on a fixed income. And he had no vehicle? He had one, but that broke down on him and we both needed reliable cars. So that I believe, looking back on it, was too much of a burden to take on.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, you need to sell it. You can't afford the Denali. It's one of your problems. What's the nature of your father's disability? Hun?

[Jay]

He has nerve damage and he has severe arthritis in his hands. So what? Some days are you.

[Dave Ramsey]

You said you're living with your parents. Your mom is involved too?

[Jay]

Yes, she is the only one working.

[Dave Ramsey]

What does she mean?

[Jay]

She makes about. She makes 20 an hour.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And your dad has disability income coming in, I assume?

[Jay]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Was the. Was is this just SSI or was he military or.

[Jay]

It's ssi, but I guess something came up. They said that my mom makes too much money, so they're threatening to cut it off.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, there's not. There's not a thing where the spouse makes too much money. If someone's permanently disabled, your mom can make $800,000 a year and your dad still gets his disability SSI. So that somebody's confused somewhere on the messaging. Okay, so here's the deal. Your dad's income from disability and your mom's $20 an hour adds up together to determine what kind of car they pay cash for.

[Jade]

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[Dave Ramsey]

Your dad's income from disability and your mom's $20 an hour adds up together to determine what kind of car they pay cash for. And they manage their lives. They're like grown ups and stuff. And the Denali is gone. You are way too broke to be supporting other people. That's why you're stuck.

[Chris Hogan]

How does that hit you, Jay?

[Jay]

It hits me, but I. I've seen it and I've looked at the numbers. I've known it for a while, and it's like, you know, a realization.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And I'm just the mean guy that said it all out loud.

[Jay]

Well, I. It just, you know, hurts because I want to help.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like, I want you to be able to help, but you're not helping. You're hurting because you've quote, you guys have woven together a situation that is not good for any of you. And that can happen. You can do the wrong thing out of a good heart. Right. And you got a great heart. You're trying to help your dad. I appreciate you doing that. That's good. That's a good man. Okay. Trying to help your mom. And you're living there, so you feel like you owe him because you do. That's okay. I get all of that. That's fine.

[Chris Hogan]

But basically, all the debt you're feeling are these two cars.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Hogan]

I mean, that's basically all of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you didn't have the Denali payment, your life all of a sudden starts working again. Yeah. And so, yeah. And then we begin to work extra like a crazy man and clear up the credit card debt, clear up your. Your little $11,000 car debt, and you'd be debt free in, gosh, about a year. But because you don't have any overhead, you're not paying rent, right?

[Jay]

No, no, I'm not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I mean, and you're buying some food maybe and stuff for the house and maybe paying a light bill or something, but you don't have much overhead. So, you know, basically we're, you know, $2,500 a month, which is $30,000 a year that you could be throwing in debt, and that means you're debt free in a year. Of course we're getting rid of the Denali, too, but that's part of the equation. But yeah, once that's gone and you do these things and then mom and dad scratch together a little bit of money and they go buy a five, $6,000 car, and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with five or $6,000 car. You can get a lot of car for five or six grand. It's not pretty, but it's reliable. And you're not trying to win any sex appeal jobs anyway. They aren't. At their age, they don't need to pick up a date. They're fine. So, I mean, you know, that's it. So. And then you start working to get out on your own and. And you can emotionally support them and coach them and be there for them and drop by some. Drop by dinner occasionally for them and that kind of stuff. And then you start your own life. And that's going to be the best thing ever happened to them and to you.

[Chris Hogan]

How will that conversation go with your parents, Jay?

[Jay]

I think it will go very well, I think.

[Chris Hogan]

Good.

[Jay]

Yes. I have a great relationship with my parents, and my dad is always telling me that he wants me to win. He wants me to do better than he did.

[Chris Hogan]

Okay, good. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's wonderful. That's a very supportive environment.

[Chris Hogan]

And how much is that payment a month?

[Dave Ramsey]

Which one?

[Jay]

The Denali, then Ali is 508.

[Chris Hogan]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Really? Okay. I would have guessed double. Okay. But just the same. So. Yeah, I, I don't think it's good for them to have that burden. And I know it's not good for you. The car that, that the car was. Oh, you had a valid need and you purchased about four times as much car as you should have for five times as much car as you should have to cover your dad's need. And. And then that's when it exposed all this other stuff because when you put stress on that budget, all the little stupid things are really exposed, then you can kind of get away with those and forget about them until you put stress on it, you know.

[Chris Hogan]

And I could see how all, you know, it's $21,000 Denali, you know, versus a brand new $90,000. Right. So he's probably thinking in his head as he's doing it, oh, this is a good deal. Okay. It's not crazy. Like I can. And then. But here's the problem. Are these small. These Purchases, small purchases that we make. Start when we justify them. You put them in the whole picture of your Math. And a $500 car payment making. What was it, 3,500amonth? That's what he said.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Start seeing $40,000 a year for a $20,000 car.

[Chris Hogan]

Eating. Eating away. Yep. With another $11,000 car and another $11,000 car.

[Dave Ramsey]

And credit card debt. Yeah. So that's. That's what you got to do. So hang on, Jay. I'm going to send you a copy of the book, the Total Money Makeover. That shows you exactly how to do the baby steps that we talk about here. And we're also going to sign you up for every dollar for our budgeting app. And it'll hold your hand as you walk through this process. But beans and rice. Rice and beans. And what will happen is, is you'll get a new level of energy when you have a clear path and you can map out, I'm going to knock that debt off, and then I'm going to knock that debt off, and then I'm going to knock that debt off, and then by this date, I'm going to be completely free, and then I'm going to save my good three to six months down payment. And you know by somewhere in that timeline is when you decide you're gonna move out on your own. And all of these things come together. You get out on your own, and you're debt free and you got $10,000 in the bank, You're a different guy. It puts you in a whole different world.

[Chris Hogan]

And what's wild is all that can happen in 18 months less. Well, being debt free and saving up $10,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. Good point. Yeah. That and only 18 months. And think about where you were 18 months ago, about right here. So nothing changed. Nothing changes until something changes. So hang on. We're going to send you a copy of the Total Money Makeover and get you moving here, my man. Get you moving. So, Rachel, I would say that in 30 years of doing this, that a high percentage, and I'll call it maybe even 90% of the people that are struggling with money issues have. They're either struggling with their spouse or they're struggling with some other family members with money. There's a relational component.

[Chris Hogan]

9 out of 10.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's a relational component, a negative relational component to about nine out of 10 people that are having money problems. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.