I'm 70 With No Retirement And Living Paycheck-To-Paycheck

Summary

---

Episode Overview

Title: I'm 70 With No Retirement And Living Paycheck-To-Paycheck
Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Date: September 22, 2025
Main Theme:
In this episode, hosts from the Ramsey Network address a call from Bob, a 73-year-old struggling with deep financial troubles. Despite a substantial income, he and his 78-year-old wife are living paycheck-to-paycheck, caught in a cycle of debt exacerbated by an ongoing spending problem they can’t seem to get under control. The discussion delves into the roots of compulsive spending, practical steps couples can take, and the emotional and relational costs of unchecked financial behaviors.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Situation and Financial Struggle

• Bob recounts years of financial trouble, primarily due to his wife's unrestrained spending habits.

  “My wife has a habit of spending constantly... she pretty much goes through all of the income that we have in a month.” — Bob [00:07]

• Repeated conversations have not led to meaningful change, despite some minor improvements.
• Age & Urgency: Bob is 73, wife is 78. The couple faces retirement age with no financial security.

2. Recognizing Compulsive Spending

• Host (C) asks directly if Bob sees his wife’s behavior as an addiction.

  “Would you think it’s a level of addiction? Would you go that far?” — Host [01:12]
  “Oh, yes.” — Bob [01:21]

• Host points out: Telling her to stop is insufficient without addressing underlying issues.

  “She has to do the work to understand what is happening for her because it’s a real thing… It’s becoming more and more common.” — Host C [01:32]

• Despite feeling sorry and recognizing her role, Bob’s wife continues the compulsive behavior.

3. Practical Steps for Control

• Host suggests a radical approach: Remove access to money from the compulsive spender.

  “The one that is struggling does not get access to money... If that’s what she does, then here’s the amount you have in cash. She doesn’t get access to the checking account.” — Host C [02:25]

• Income and Debt:
  • Income: Over $7,000/month
  • $267,000 left on house
  • $25,000 car loan (their only vehicle)
  • $10,000 in credit card debt
  • $5,000 for a recent roof repair
  • Hosts express that with proper discipline, they could certainly live within $7,000/month and pay off the $40,000 in consumer debt.

4. Setting Boundaries and Consequences

• Host A outlines a firm, structured strategy:
  1. Both spouses agree on a detailed written budget for the month.
  2. If spending remains out of control, access to money is entirely revoked.

  “We’re going to agree on a budget... and you’re not gonna go into a store and go out of control again. If you do next month, you will have zero access to the money. I will shut everything down and put it in my name to protect me and our family from you.” — Host A [04:43] “If we fail this experiment that you and I cannot act like two adults at 78 freaking years old... then I’m going to shut down your access to everything.” — Host A [06:00]

5. Understanding the Root Causes

• Hosts discuss possible causes beyond addiction: immaturity, self-centeredness, failure to enforce boundaries.

  “Most of the time... we’re just dealing with somebody who’s being selfish, immature and a princess or I deserve it and you don’t kind of thing.” — Host A [06:17]

• Warning: Unchecked, this behavior not only wrecks finances but also erodes personal growth and the marital relationship.

  “She needs to go get help for it because she’s not a whole person. There is a level there that is eroding her quality of life, who she is as a person and who she’s going to be as a wife.” — Host C [07:00]

6. Blunt Final Advice and Reflection

• Financial, emotional, psychological, and spiritual elements intermingle in compulsive spending.

• Contentment must be found internally—not in purchases.

  “There’s a thing mixed up between in the psychology and the spirituality of godliness with contentment is great gain. And if I can’t find contentment and so I’m chasing it somewhere else, that is a spiritual disease…” — Host A [08:15]

• Hosts urge Bob to solidify boundaries, and if necessary, treat the issue with the seriousness of addiction.

  “I’m really not going to diagnose something as severe as a spending addiction... but it could be. So I’m going to treat it that way and move down that process and it’s going to stop one way or the other.” — Host A [09:00]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She knows that she’s, you know, the problem to our problem, and, you know, she’s always feeling sorry for it. But... when the income comes in, she goes out and she spends.” — Bob [01:51]
• “For one more month we’re going to try this and if we fail this experiment that you and I cannot act like two adults at 78 freaking years old... then I’m going to shut down your access to everything.” — Host A [06:00]
• “There’s a thing mixed up between psychology and spirituality... And if I can’t find contentment and so I’m chasing it somewhere else. That is a spiritual disease…” — Host A [08:15]

---

Important Timestamps & Segments

• [00:07] — Caller Bob explains the root issue: uncontrollable spending by his wife.
• [01:12–01:32] — Discussion of whether spending is an addiction; need for professional help.
• [02:25] — Strategy: Remove access to money from the one with the spending issue.
• [04:43–06:00] — The plan: Set one more month for budget trial, with strict consequences.
• [06:00–08:15] — Exploring deeper causes: addiction, maturity, boundaries, and relationship impact.
• [08:15–09:00] — Spiritual and psychological perspective on contentment and compulsive behavior.

---

Tone & Conclusion

The hosts remain direct, empathetic, and practical but do not shy away from blunt confrontation and tough love. They emphasize that financial discipline at any age requires honesty, boundaries, and sometimes drastic measures—for the sake of not just money, but relationships and personal health.

---

Summary:
This episode delivers a candid and compassionate intervention for an elderly couple facing the harsh consequences of lifelong mismanagement and compulsive spending. The hosts provide actionable steps—establish boundaries, enforce consequences, and seek deeper healing—while reminding listeners that the stakes of financial misbehavior extend far beyond dollars and cents.

Transcript

[A]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[B]

We've, for quite a while now, we've had financial problems with bills. We owe a lot of debt. And one of the problems is my wife has a habit of spending constantly, and she pretty much goes through all of the income that we have in a month. We've had discussions over it and everything. And, you know, it. It doesn't set in, but it is a little bit. I mean, she's little. She's a little better, but she just has this habit of when she walks in the store, she's got to buy.

[A]

Okay, how can we help?

[B]

Well, my question is as to what direction should I be using to, I guess, get her to stop completely from wasting the money and then being able to catch up on things.

[C]

I mean, Bob, when you say that, I mean, you're saying that she's spending the whole paycheck. So would you. I mean, would you think it's a level of addiction? Would you say. Would you go that far?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And has she gotten help for it besides you just telling her not to? Okay, why not?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. We've had numerous discussions on it.

[C]

Because you're not going to change her. She has to do the work to understand what is happening for her because it's a real thing. I mean, we see that more often than. I mean, it's becoming more and more common, I feel like. So why has she not taken steps to find healing in this?

[B]

Well, the strange thing is she knows that she's, you know, the problem to our problem, and, you know, she's always feeling sorry for it. But, you know, when. When the income comes in, she goes out and she spends. And she doesn't look at what she's spending. In other words, she'll go out.

[A]

So how old are you?

[B]

Groceries? Pardon me?

[A]

How old are you two?

[B]

She's 78 and I'm going to be 73 in the next couple of weeks.

[C]

But why don't you just take her? Like, she can't have access to the money. Like, if it's an addiction like this, this is what we would tell couples is to say the one that is struggling does not get access to money because she has a spending addiction. And you would say, all right, we're going to have X amount for groceries. And when you go to the grocery store, this is, you know, if that's, if that's what she does, then here's the amount you have in cash. She doesn't get access to the checking Account?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And the income. What is your income at monthly?

[B]

Believe it or not, It's. It's over 7,000.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I believe it. And. And how much debt have you guys run up?

[B]

Well, the house still has 167,000. I mean, 267,000. We probably have about $40,000 in debt.

[A]

On what?

[B]

Well, we have one vehicle. You know, we have numerous credit cards.

[A]

So what do you owe on your car?

[B]

I believe it's about 25,000.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And what do you owe on the credit cards?

[B]

Credit cards total about $10,000.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And that's 35. And what's the other five?

[B]

The other five would probably be. Well, actually, we just had a roof put on a house, so that's five grand. Yeah.

[A]

Really? You had a roof put on your house for $5,000?

[B]

Well, I mean, I paid some of it, so there's some money left over on it.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Like, a lot more.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. So you guys can live on $7,000 if you have your. If you're in agreement and in alignment and you stick to a budget and you could reduce the debt. Agreed.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Is there. You own two cars. The other one's paid for vehicle.

[B]

I'm sorry, one vehicle.

[A]

The only. The only car you have is $25,000 in debt.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But I think you could probably, with that kind of an income, clear the $40,000 in debt if we were reasonably spending on $7,000. Agreed. That's what your problem is.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I, you know, the way it's going to sound at my house, and you can do what you want to do, but you called us is, hon, I think we have a problem, and it's you. You're out of control, and you can't seem to control it, and it's really sad. Consequently, we don't have any money and we're in debt and we have plenty of income. And so here's what's going to happen. We're going to try this first. We're going to agree on a budget. This month. You and I both have a vote. We're gonna spend $7,000 on the EveryDollar app, and we're gonna have a plan, and we're gonna stick to that plan. And you're not gonna go into a store and go out of control again. If you do next month, you will have zero access to the money. I will shut everything down and put it in my name to protect me and our family from you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's how it's going to sound. So we're going to try this together like two grown ups that can function. And so if you're being immature, you can merely adjust the immaturity. If you are an addict, we're going to discover that in one more month and we're going to treat you like an addict. At that point, I don't know. I can't diagnose if someone has an ocd.

[C]

Well, there's a level of medicating that's for sure going on.

[A]

Well, at a minimum there's immaturity and Princess syndrome or something. Right. But at a minimum, at a maximum 2% of the public has been diagnosed literally with a spending addiction, a shopping addiction and 2% and it's an OCD behavior and it's a psychological label and done by professionals and we deal with them. But most of the time when we deal with it, we're just dealing with somebody who's being selfish, immature and apprentices or I deserve it and you don't kind of thing and you do. So I don't know which one she is, but I would if it was my wife. I'm going to have a real clear conversation that says for one more month we're going to try this and if we fail this experiment that you and I cannot act like two adults at 78 freaking years old. We can't act like grownups and live within our means. Then I'm going to shut down your access to everything.

[C]

And it sounds like that's what's going to happen. I think it is, yeah. 100%. And Bob, for her sake too, encouraging her, we just said this in the last call, but for real, she needs to go get help for it because she's not a whole person. There is a level there that is eroding her quality of life, who she is as a person and who she's going to be as a wife. I'm like, you're getting someone who's not functioning. None of us are fully. But, but there is a very obvious issue there that she's just not addressing head on. And, and I don't think you're getting the quality wife that you could have too if she doesn't go through a level of healing to this. Because that's probably what I mean. Like yeah, it could be immaturity and all of it, but at 78 and him having this conversation, her knowing intellectually where they are, but her compulsion, it's still happening. There's stunning in there. So I, I would for her sake, like the financial side is one thing, Bob. But if that's my spouse, I'm like, I want her to get healing. I want her to, to understand what's going on and to, and to find I don't know, peace in this because there's just chaos happening inside of her, I would imagine. And it's coming out medicating in spending and so you're not getting a great wife either. A great partner. She's not getting a great, I don't know, there's a lot there.

[A]

There's a thing mixed up between in the psychology and the spirituality of godliness with contentment is great gain. And if I can't find contentment and so I'm chasing it somewhere else. That is a spiritual disease and it's also can be addictive compulsion and it can be just immature immaturity. Yeah, that's self centeredness. And no one ever told me no.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

And including you, Bob. You've never told her no. And you know, and her daddy never.

[C]

Told her in a pretty like. Yeah, like consequential way.

[A]

We're not doing that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's not an option. And so. So I can't tell. Exactly. And I'm really not going to diagnose something as severe as a spending addiction and this. But it could be. So I'm going to treat it that way and move down that process and it's going to stop one way or the other. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.