I'm Ashamed Of The Financial Decisions I've Made

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I'm Ashamed Of The Financial Decisions I've Made"

The Ramsey Show Highlights
Date: October 25, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Featured Speaker: Dave Ramsey
Caller: Trevor

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Episode Overview

Dave Ramsey responds to Trevor, a caller who is facing severe financial distress related to a failed real estate transaction, job loss, and escalating legal troubles. The segment is dedicated to Trevor's question of whether bankruptcy is his only option and explores the complex web of decisions that led him to this point. Dave offers practical, tough-love advice on the legal steps Trevor should consider before resorting to bankruptcy, all while acknowledging the emotional burden of Trevor’s predicament.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trevor’s Story & Struggles

• Financial Regret and Shame: Trevor begins with a raw confession of regret, shame, and embarrassment over his past financial decisions ([00:06]).
• Bad Real Estate Deal: He bought a house at an inflated price during a market upswing, then lost his job, and couldn’t sell the home due to new competition ([00:06]-[01:30]).
• Sub 2 Contract Gone Wrong: Trevor’s realtor advised a "sub 2" contract, in which he remained financially responsible while allowing another party to make payments and eventually claim the house after payoff. This individual stopped paying, leading to foreclosure proceedings ([01:30]-[02:28]).
• Legal and Family Challenges: Trevor is also embroiled in a child custody and child support dispute, stretching his financial resources even thinner ([02:30]-[03:26]).

2. Assessing the Bankruptcy Option

• Current Financial State: Trevor and his wife have a combined annual income of $80,000, but legal expenses and housing insecurity are overwhelming them ([02:46]-[03:00]).
• Dave’s Perspective on Bankruptcy:
  • Dave asserts that bankruptcy should only be considered when all other avenues have been exhausted:

    “We don't file bankruptcy until we've tried everything else.”—Dave Ramsey ([03:53])

  • Filing bankruptcy requires a lawyer, just like eviction.
• Alternative Solutions:
  • Dave suggests selling valuable possessions (e.g., a gaming PC) to fund legal action for eviction rather than bankruptcy ([03:44]-[03:47]).
  • He believes hiring a lawyer to evict the nonpaying “tenant” is the necessary step, even if it’s costly and time-consuming ([03:47]-[04:08]).

3. The Reality of Foreclosure and Credit Impact

• Foreclosure Process: Trevor’s house is in default but no final foreclosure date has been set; the process could take considerable time, especially in Florida ([04:08]-[05:08]).
• Impact on Credit: Dave cautions against underestimating the damage bankruptcy would do to Trevor's credit:

  “You’re getting ready to drop an atom bomb on your credit, dude. It's going to be a wasteland for seven years, for 10 years, if you file chapter seven.”—Dave Ramsey ([06:41])

4. Critique of Past Decisions & Call for Stability

• Pattern of Instability: Dave identifies a recurring theme of impulsive decisions—jumping from one situation to another (the house purchase, Puerto Rico move, etc.):

  “You jumped into the house, you jumped out of the house. You jumped into Puerto Rico, you jumped back. Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump."—Dave Ramsey ([06:41])

• Call for Steadiness: Ramsey urges Trevor to find stability and stick with it, rather than continually shifting in crisis.
• Advice on Real Estate Professionals: Dave strongly criticizes Trevor’s previous realtor:

  “The other real estate agent that you had was an ignoramus at best, a con artist at worst. No one should have recommended you do that deal. It was malpractice."—Dave Ramsey ([07:09])

5. Step-by-Step Next Actions

• Hire a Lawyer for Eviction: Liquidate assets if necessary to fund this crucial legal move ([03:44], [03:47]).
• Begin Short Sale Negotiations: Once the property is vacated, work with a competent real estate agent familiar with short sales ([07:09]).
• Avoid Bankruptcy for Now: Do not resort to bankruptcy unless all other escape routes are blocked ([03:53]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You’re not bankrupt until you’re bankrupt. You are projecting into the future that this is going to go one certain way and we don’t know what it’s going to do yet... It doesn’t sound good. There’s no question you’ve been scammed, but it’s not costing you a dime today.” —Dave Ramsey ([05:40])
• “Those [sub 2] deals always end up this way. They never end up any other way. Because who else moves into a house and pays full price for it, plus and pays payments for 30 years and it’s not even in their name? People who are going to scam you, that’s who.” —Dave Ramsey ([07:09])
• “You need to find something really steady and put your hand to the plow and stay on it.” —Dave Ramsey ([06:41])

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Key Timestamps

• 00:06 – 02:28: Trevor outlines his financial troubles and failed real estate deal.
• 03:00 – 03:53: Dave breaks down bankruptcy vs. legal eviction and prioritizing actions.
• 04:08 – 05:08: Foreclosure process recap; status of legal proceedings.
• 05:40 – 06:41: Dave reframes Trevor’s sense of doom and urges patience.
• 06:41 – 07:09: Intense critique of past decisions, advice for finding stability, and actionable steps.

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Summary

This episode offers a candid, hard-hitting coaching session with Dave Ramsey as he guides a struggling caller through a financial and legal quagmire. Dave’s advice is direct: don’t file for bankruptcy as a knee-jerk reaction—fight the scam through the legal system, even if it requires tough personal sacrifices. The underlying message is about accountability, avoiding impulsive decisions, and seeking stability amid chaos. Dave’s tone alternates between empathy and tough love, delivering vital lessons for anyone facing overwhelming financial stress.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I'm nervous. I'm ashamed, disgusted, embarrassed at all. I'm going to go straight to the question because I really need guidance on this. Should I file for bankruptcy? I made a dumb mistake and now I regret it and I'm ashamed. So just a little quick backstory. So I purchased a house and when I purchased a house I kind of paid more than what I should have then fast forward. I basically ended up losing my job in the mix of it. I bought when the interest rates and the prices were going up and I already had paid over what their house was supposed to be. So when I went to sell it, I basically couldn't sell it because there was a lot of brand new properties going up and the sellers were giving a lot of money census. So my house beautiful house was up for sale but nobody was really interested because I wasn't offering anything on nonsense. I couldn't compete with the, with the other sellers. And then I ended up my realtor kind of convinced me to like do a sub 2 contract meaning I, I keep full financial obligation of the payment while I basically have somebody make the payment for me. And once the house is paid they, they take basically the houses like this theirs. Fast forward a year. Well, not even a year. The person that took over the payment has not been making the payment. So I just got served on August 22 that the House is going, going up for foreclosure. So I'm reached out to the gentleman. I've been trying to reach out to the gentleman because I kind of knew that he was on the pain but I was unable to. So I drove there last week and kind of spoke to him and he has no intentions of leaving the property and I'm, I'm.

[A]

He has no intent of what. Say that again.

[B]

Of leaving the property or kind of signing it back over to me to. So I could call him the deed. So he's living there.

[A]

So he, he's running a scam.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So basically right now I, I have no means to like get another lawyer because I'm going through a custody battle because the battle was child support battle because mother of my kids move about three hours away. So. Right.

[A]

What do you make a year, Trevor?

[B]

So myself I make 40 and my, my wife looks 40. So combined we make about 80.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can afford a lawyer and you need a lawyer.

[B]

That's correct, yeah.

[A]

Because if you file bankruptcy it's a lawyer and you have to pay a lawyer. So you might as well pay one to evict the scam artist.

[B]

Yeah, so. And that's what I was thinking of. But again, like, my budget right now is super, super tight. Like, I'm paying about $800 for the other lawyer to get this case resolved.

[A]

Because like I said, you don't have the money to file bankruptcy if you don't have the money to hire a lawyer to throw the guy out.

[B]

Well, I have a PC that I have right now and I can probably get like $1,500 for it.

[A]

You have a what?

[B]

A PC. It's a gaming computer.

[A]

Yeah, okay, so sell it and hire a lawyer to evict the guy.

[B]

You don't think it's going to take too long though?

[A]

It might, it might. But we don't file bankruptcy until we've tried everything else. I'm not going to roll over in Florida. It's going to take them forever to foreclose. How far behind are you on the house? Because the guy's not paying the bill.

[B]

What, January, so about $40,000.

[A]

How many months?

[B]

That's February, March, April, May.

[A]

Yeah. So when they sent you a notice, they didn't give you a date. They just said the house is in default and we're going to foreclose if you don't straighten this up.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I already got served the 20 days for me to respond to the court has passed by. However I look, I logged in today to see like the case disposition because he received his. The person that's living in the house right now received. He got also served and he basically had 20 days also to respond. But now I guess he was able to hire a lawyer and basically put like, oh, they didn't, they didn't serve all the tenants that are living there. Correct me. So I guess he's.

[A]

This guy's really good at scamming. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So. Okay.

[A]

But there's not a. The foreclosure date has not been set.

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

Yeah, it should, it shouldn't be in Florida after seven months. It'd be unusual if it was. Okay.

[B]

So. And, and it's a little bit more backstory to it. So I, right now we, we. This all happened. We moved to Puerto Rico and then we just came back. So right now we're living with in laws and we're trying to get an apartment.

[A]

What were you doing in Puerto Rico?

[B]

Just basically started a new job. Kind of didn't work out because my 9 year old education started like drawing back and we noticed it and we just told my wife and I was like, me, this.

[A]

All right, Trevor, okay, here's the thing. You're not bankrupt until you're bankrupt. You are projecting into the future that this is going to go one certain way and we don't know what it's going to do yet. It doesn't sound good. There's no question you've been scammed, but it's not costing you a dime today. You're not having to write checks today unless you want to catch this thing up.

[B]

Okay, yeah, no, but again, since we moved back and we're living with my in laws, like, I, I really want to move out, but I'm unable to. I got six kids.

[A]

So it's not got anything to do with bankruptcy.

[B]

I understand that, but bankruptcy doesn't get.

[A]

You a place to live for six kids.

[B]

No, I understand that, but it's just the fact that, like, it's. It's already hitting my credit. And like, even if I was to find the money.

[A]

You don't think bankruptcy dings your credit?

[B]

No, it does.

[A]

Okay? You're getting ready to drop an atom bomb on your credit, dude. It's going to be a wasteland for seven years, for 10 years, if you follow chapter seven. And you're not bankrupt because nothing has happened yet to bankrupt you. You just have done a series of bad deals and you keep jumping from one thing to another. You jumped into the house, you jumped out of the house. You jumped into Puerto Rico, you jumped back. Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. You need to find something really steady and put your hand to the plow and stay on it. And I do recommend you keep arguing with me, but you called and asked me what to do. And I recommend you get a lawyer and you throw this guy in the street. And then you start negotiating with a mortgage company on a short sale with a good real estate agent. With a good real estate agent that knows what they're doing. The other real estate agent that you had was an ignoramus at best, a con artist at worst. No one should have recommended you do that deal. It was malpractice. The law might not call it that. I'm morally calling it malpractice. It was horrible advice to put you into that deal. Those deals always end up this way. They never end up any other way. Because who else moves into a house and pays full price for it, plus and pays payments for 30 years and it's not even in their name? People who are going to scam you, that's who. So that's what I would do if I were in your shoes. Hunt. Create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life.