Is She Being A Brat For Not Wanting To Split Bills With Her Parents?

Summary

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Episode Overview

Title: Is She Being A Brat For Not Wanting To Split Bills With Her Parents?
Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Date: December 22, 2025
Theme:
In this episode, a caller from Canada seeks advice about her living arrangement and house co-ownership with her parents in Florida. The discussion centers on how to fairly split bills and equity given the family dynamics, verbal agreements, and differing investment contributions. The hosts explore the complications of mixing finances with family, clarify the logical approach to splitting expenses, and offer candid guidance about moving forward.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background and Caller’s Dilemma (00:06-01:50)

• Caller (B) is a Canadian who moved to Orlando, Florida, on a work visa and bought a house jointly with her mother.
• The caller’s father was risk-averse, initially uninvolved, but later paid off the mortgage entirely.
• They now argue about whether bills (taxes, repairs, etc.) should be split by two (her and her mother) or by three (including her father).
• The house is owned by the mother and the caller on the deed, but the father supplied a significant sum to pay off the mortgage.
• There is no formal, written contract—just verbal agreements among family members.

2. Parsing the Financial Breakdown (01:11-02:54)

• The initial down payment was split evenly between caller and her mother ($45,000 each).

• Father paid $204,000 to clear the remaining mortgage after two years.

• Hosts inquire about the precise agreements, noting the lack of written contracts creates confusion and potential future conflict.

• The mother and father keep their money together, so the hosts argue that parental contributions should be considered as one “entity” rather than separate.

• If the parents share finances, bills should be split 50/50: the caller as one party, the parents as another.

  “Because it’s one group of money for them and then one group of money for you, it really is a 50/50 deal.”
  —Host (C), [02:15]

3. Living Arrangement and Home Use (03:00-04:07)

• Parents live in Canada most of the time, visiting every two months; the caller lives in the house year-round.

• The caller tends to the property, occupies the larger room, and feels she bears a heavier local burden.

• The property taxes are high due to her foreign status, and all house expenses are currently split by two.

• Hosts assert this is fair, given how the finances are pooled between the parents.

  “I think you should be paying half. I think it’s half and half. And... your mom and dad are an entity and you are an entity. That’s really what it is.”
  —Host (C), [03:33]

• They also note the arrangement overall is “a sweet deal” for the caller given she lives largely rent-free.

  “I feel like this for you has been kind of a sweet deal.”
  —Host (C), [04:07]

4. Equity, Sale, and Division of Profit (04:28-05:55)

• When the house sells, there is “agreement” that the caller gets her proportional equity, roughly $60,000 out of $340,000 (approx. 18%).

• The hosts press for these details to be written down, to avoid misunderstandings during a sale or other major events.

  “I would have that in writing and have all of you sign it... I don’t want this to be living in my head rent-free.”
  —Host (A), [05:55]

5. Should She Stay or Leave? (06:16-07:58)

• Hosts suggest that the caller appears unsatisfied and conflicted by the arrangement, possibly to the point of harming her peace of mind.

• They advocate for her to consider selling her share (being “bought out” by her parents) for simplicity and mental clarity.

• The option of renting an apartment and “getting out from under your parents” is floated as a potential life reset.

• Hosts acknowledge the legitimate anxieties around taking on or keeping property on a work visa, where employment and residency aren’t guaranteed.

  “You’re so conflicted by this... You’re bothered by the percentage that you have to pay... because what George just said, hey, get it in writing that it's 18, you’re like, that's already agreed on. So you’re just not happy with the deal as it is. So get out of it before it gets messier and messier.”
  —Host (C), [06:38]

  "Do I think it’s crazy you feel this way? No. Do I think it’s crazy you got into this situation in the first place? Absolutely."
  —Host (A), [07:51]

6. Complications of Mixing Family and Money (08:10-09:20)

• With the “vacation home” idea, hosts point out that the current arrangement resembles a timeshare, opening further questions about fair use and payment.

• Given the caller is present most of the year, the parents could push for a payment breakdown based on actual occupancy, which might lead to her paying even more.

• The hosts strongly recommend she seriously consider simplification: cash out now, walk away with her equity, and use it as a down payment elsewhere.

  “You have some great equity now. You could get out with 60 grand, use that as a down payment on your own place... I would cut ties.”
  —Host (A), [08:49]

  “You shouldn’t have bought family property across the world. That was a risky, weird move.”
  —Host (A), [09:20]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Family Entities and Fairness

• [02:15] “It’s not thirds, it’s their group of money versus your group of money.” —Host (C)

On Feeling Tormented by Loose Arrangements

• [05:55] “I don’t want this to be living in my head rent-free. I feel like it’s been a cluster.” —Host (A)

On Why She Might Want to Exit

• [06:38] “You’re just not happy with the deal as it is. So get out of it before it gets messier and messier... Go get an apartment.” —Host (C)

On Hindsight and Learning

• [07:51] "Do I think it’s crazy you feel this way? No. Do I think it’s crazy you got into this situation in the first place? Absolutely." —Host (A)

On Lessons for Listeners

• [09:20] “You shouldn’t have bought family property across the world. That was a risky, weird move.” —Host (A)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:06 – Caller explains background and ownership split
• 01:11 – Breakdown of down payment, mortgage, and ownership percentages
• 02:15 – Hosts clarify “50/50” (parents as one entity, caller as the other)
• 03:33 – Hosts confirm bill split reasoning and living arrangement’s fairness
• 04:28 – Discussion of how equity and profit will be divided on sale
• 05:55 – Emphasis on getting everything in writing
• 06:38 – Strong advice to consider exiting the arrangement
• 07:51 – Summing up caller's situation and decision-making
• 08:49 – Alternative options if caller is bought out
• 09:20 – Key takeaway about the risks of mixing family and real estate

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Conclusion

The episode provides practical advice and a reality check for anyone co-owning property with family. The hosts stress the importance of written agreements, clear communication, and honest self-reflection about financial arrangements that involve loved ones. Their overarching message: strive for clarity and simplicity, and don’t let verbal family handshakes govern serious financial investments—especially across borders and legal systems.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I'm Canadian and I moved to Orlando, Florida on a work visa. And when I moved, I bought a house with my mother in Orlando, Florida. And my dad was really, he's like risk averse. And he was against it kind of like the whole time in the beginning because he was just afraid, like moving from country to country. He just didn't want any part of it. So we ended up, me and my mother are on the deed of this house in Orlando, Florida. We were paying the mortgage and then after a year, my mom convinced my dad to pretty much he had like US money in his bank to buy the entire house. So we don't have a mortgage anymore. And then my question is we always, we kind of hit heads where like house taxes or anything that happens with the house and we need a fridge or like the roof or something. We still divide that bill by two between me and my mom. But I keep saying we should divide it by three since he owns majority of the house. So when we sell the house, you can get most of the profit. And I love my parents. Like, we're amazing. It's just, I always, I in my head, I think we should divide the bills by three. But am I being a brat because I don't have a mortgage anymore? So like, am I just like, just not being a good daughter and just should just do dividends?

[A]

Like a common core math riddle. This is real complex. What was the agreement when you guys got into the house? Did you both put equal parts for the down payment? 50. 50 on the mortgage?

[B]

Yeah, me and my mom both put 45, 000 US, so it was like 90000 down payment. And then we were both paying.

[A]

Yeah, and then he paid. How much to knock out the mortgage?

[B]

204. 204,000. And. And I think like over like it was two years. Me and my mom were paying and we got it to a point where 204 was left. So he owns 204,000 of the house and then me and my mom owned the rest and I turned to married too.

[A]

According to what and who? Was there an agreement, a contract?

[B]

No, just like verbal agreement.

[C]

But your mom and your dad, they keep their money separate?

[B]

No, no, they keep it. No, they keep it together, but just my mom. My dad didn't want anything to do with the house kind of thing. But then they always bring it back while they're married. So anything that happens to my mom, to my dad.

[C]

Right.

[B]

So.

[A]

So if you leave what happens? Do you get your share back? Do they buy you out?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. It's either they buy me out or we sell it all together and then we all go with our different portions.

[C]

Well, I think, I think you have to decide something. First off. First off, you have to decide, are you viewing when I. The reason I asked my question is because if your mom and your dad were keeping their money separate, then you could think of it as thirds. But because it's one group of money for them and then one group of money for you, it really is a 50, 50 deal. So whether you want to see it this way or not, when you and your mom bought this house, quote 50, 50, your dad, your dad was included in that. Whether he likes to put his name in it or not. That was 50% of his money. Right. That 50% was his money as well. So that's kind of the way I'm seeing it. Based on the way you said, it's not thirds, it's their group of money versus your group of money.

[A]

What's the long term game plan here? You both want to stay in the house?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, my parents, it's actually this is something too. So they're in Canada most of the time. They come visit me every two months. So I take care of the house while they're here. I have the bigger room because I'm here most of the time. And like, so that's another thing too. So it's like I'm technically not paying for mortgage. So I, I guess I, since I'm in the house most of the time, maybe I should be paying half the health taxes. And the health taxes are expensive because I'm a foreigner too. So it's like $7,500 a year. Always get slammed every year, me and my mom divided by two. And then I keep arguing. I'm like, it should be divided by three.

[C]

No, I think you should be paying half. I think it's half and half. And then whenever I think this is messy to begin with, number one. But you have to consider it. 50, 50. Your mom and dad are an entity and you are an entity. That's really what it is. And the fact that you are living there and it's rent free and blah, blah. Yeah, I think you should be on the hook for half. I mean, am I crazy here, George? But I think that's.

[A]

Your parents are one entity in this, in this matter. And there's also insurance. Are you paying half of the homeowner's insurance?

[B]

Yeah. Having it and Then like if the fridge breaks down or something, it's divided by two. So.

[C]

Yeah, why are you saying it with a tone that's like. Like you're mad about it? I feel like this for you has been kind of a sweet deal.

[B]

Like, why do you have a. I agree, I. This is why I'm calling. Because I'm like, am I crazy or am I not crazy? When we sell the house though, they're getting the majority of the profit.

[A]

I think you guys need things in writing because so far your little verbal agreement handshakes have not worked out. Because there's clarity. Because at every turn there's a new thing we didn't think about. Right?

[C]

Yeah. On when you sell the house upon sale, has it been said that you're splitting 5050 the equity or has it been said that they get two thirds?

[B]

No, no, like when we sell, I get my whatever. Like my down payment that I put. And then, yeah, like whatever percentage I'm in right now, I'm going to get the percentage of the profit.

[C]

So it's 50. 50.

[A]

And what is that percentage? Because you've got home appreciation, you've got the mortgage payments you've made, you've got the insurance and property taxes money you've paid in. So how are you calculating?

[B]

It's not. It wouldn't be 50, 50 though, the profit, it's like they would get like, I guess 80 of the profit and I get 20 kind of things.

[C]

Tell me, tell me the real number of when you put 50 down on the down payment, how much was that?

[B]

No, So I put 45, 000 US.

[C]

Okay. And what did your mom and dad put down?

[B]

Yeah. So then now they. So over two years, I think I have roughly around 60,000. And they have the remaining. So I'm going to have 50,000 in this house equity.

[A]

Okay, what if the house appreciates and doubles in the next seven years? What happens then? You still get the same percentage.

[B]

So I think 60. Whatever. 60%. Sorry, 60,000 of 340,000. That's how much the house is.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Whatever that percentage is, that's how much percentage I would get for the property.

[A]

Okay. It's about 18% is what you'd walk away with. If the house is worth half a million, then after all fees are paid, you should get 18%. I would have that in writing and have all of you sign it and come to Jesus meeting and say, this has been messy. I love you guys. I don't want this to be living in my head rent free. I Feel like it's been a cluster. Can we just get on the same page with one contract that we all sign that would help you.

[B]

We're agreed. That's what we're agreed with. We're good to go. It's just I find the house like living here with the bills and stuff. I'm. I was, I guess not against, but I was just questioning it. Cause I was like, well, when did we. Because if it's a buy by 3, then I have to pay. I get to pay lower of the bill, you know, why don't you move?

[C]

Oh, why don't you move?

[B]

Because I just moved. I just moved here.

[C]

I know, but here, here, here me out. You're so conflicted by this that you called in the show. You're bothered by the percentage that you have to pay. You're bothered by what you have to pay every month. You're bothered by the agreement as it stands because what George just said, hey, get it in writing that it's 18. You're like, that's already agreed on. So you're just not happy with the deal as it is. So get out of it before it gets messier and messier and just say, you know what? We did this. I'm not sleeping well at night with this. It's causing something inside of me. I'm just going to move and get an apartment on my own and just be on my own. Fair enough. I mean, why not simplify your life?

[B]

Yeah. Well, no, because I do think I have a sweet deal and it works out perfectly because they want someone to watch the house.

[C]

You don't think you have a sweet deal? You don't. You called in saying that there's a problem with the deal because you're having to pay part of the taxes and it should be three ways and da, da, da, da. And what happens when you called saying that?

[B]

Yeah, but I guess the question, my question was like, I just wanted your advice. Like, am I crazy for thinking that or.

[C]

No, my advice for me to pay ij. My advice is get out of this deal and go rent an apartment. How old are you?

[B]

30?

[C]

Yeah. Get out from under your parents. You. You don't have to do this with them. Go get an apartment.

[A]

Do I think it's crazy you feel this way? No. Do I think it's crazy you got into this situation in the first place? Absolutely.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, no, like. Well, I give you more contact too. Like I want a, a work visa, right. So anything can happen. I have to go back to Canada too. And I Don't know. I think renting for my. Me, I'd rather buy something than to like. Because right now I'm not paying a mortgage.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Because buying is far more permanent than.

[A]

Yeah, that adds a rental layer of risk. If you can't work there anymore, but the house is still tied to you and now you got to force sell it. I mean, or still make the payments and you don't have the job. That's scary, isn't it?

[B]

No, no, because we'll keep it as like a vacation home because we come off into Florida. So it was okay.

[A]

And who's gonna pay for the vacation home now? You're gonna go, well, they're there more than I am. They go four times. It's like a timeshare now. This is really what this has become. And you're living there mostly solo, you said, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So couldn't they make the argument, well, you're there 284 days out of the year. We're only there 100 days. I think we should split it that way. Could they come back at you with that?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

They might get you to pay more versus less. This could very much backfire. They're. They're holding most of the cards right now as majority stakeholder in this venture you signed up for. So that's why Jade saying, hey, I would cut clean and go. You have some great equity now. You could get out with 60 grand, use that as a down payment on your own place. You probably don't need all the space. Right, Right. I don't think it's a bad plan to reset and go, all right, I'm going to let them buy me out. Do they have the money to buy you out without selling?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I might offer that up as one angle to take. And if they're into it, I would cut ties and go, you know what? I shouldn't have bought family property across the world. That was a risky, weird move. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.