Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: "I've Been Engaged For 13 Years, Is It Time To Leave?"

Date: October 26, 2025
Host(s): Dave Ramsey, Christy Wright
Caller: Sarah

Overview

This episode revolves around a heartfelt call from Sarah, who has been engaged to her fiancé for 13 years. Together, they've navigated various challenges, including moving states, experiencing a house fire, and undergoing a spiritual transformation. Sarah seeks Dave and Christy's advice on whether to continue waiting for an ideal wedding (which they can't currently afford) or to formalize their relationship now, especially considering past infidelity and ongoing family changes. The discussion touches on practical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of long-term relationships, the importance of formal commitment, and the value of counseling.

Key Discussion Points

1. Caller’s Background and Dilemma

• Sarah’s Story (00:06):
  • 13-year engagement, two daughters (ages 5 and 10).
  • Relocated to fiancé's hometown in Alabama.
  • Experienced a traumatic house fire, currently renting.
  • Underwent spiritual changes: fiancé was baptized, family "saved" again, increased devotion and church participation.
  • Planned to marry in March but discouraged by financial limitations and past relational trauma (including infidelity).

2. The Impact of the House Fire and Spiritual Transformation

• Spiritual Awakening (01:12):
  • House fire served as a turning point for faith and family orientation.
  • Whole family is now dedicated to religious growth.
  • Sarah expresses that the family is "devout and Bible study and church and all that good stuff."

3. Counseling and Local Resources

• Lack of Counseling Access (01:39):
  • No professional counseling done yet, despite recognizing its need.
  • Limited local mental health resources highlighted.
  • Dave and Christy suggest online options like BetterHelp as alternatives (02:00).

4. Money, Marriage, and Moving Forward

• Big Weddings and Money (02:49, 04:17):
  • Dave emphasizes the unnecessity of a large, expensive wedding due to their long-shared history:
    • "The ship has sailed on little 18-year-old Sarah walking down the aisle in an expensive wedding in a white dress. That was like a decade ago. It's gone. So go get married like today, tomorrow." – Dave Ramsey [03:05]
  • Christy suggests a courthouse wedding with the option of a future celebration:
    • "There could be a day in the future where you renew your vows and you do the white dress and you walk down the aisle and you do that big party that you wanted… but just because that's not going to be today or next week… doesn't mean it can't happen ever." – Christy Wright [04:03]
  • Sarah clarifies she doesn't want a big wedding, just wants clarity on moving forward (04:24).

5. Commitment, Counseling & Formalizing the Relationship

• Questions of Readiness (03:32):
  • Dave: "If it's not where it should be, you should have been gone like five years ago." [03:44]
  • Emphasis on formalizing the marriage for spiritual and practical reasons.
  • Both hosts underscore the importance of premarital (and marital) counseling—even after 13 years together:
    • "They do need to do premarital counseling. Even though they've been together 13 years." – Christy Wright [06:19]
    • "I just go do marital counsel before you get married. Okay. We kind of ought to dig through this toy box a little bit and see what's going on here." – Dave Ramsey [06:32]

6. Commitment and Longevity in Marriage

• Wisdom from Experience (06:48):
  • Dave and Christy share humorous and heartfelt anecdotes from their own long marriages:
    • "They said, what's the secret? And Sharon said, David says, if I leave, he’s going with me." – Dave Ramsey [07:01]
  • Stresses permanence and commitment: "For better, for worse, baby." – Dave Ramsey [06:17]

7. Encouragement and Final Advice

• Looking Forward with Hope (07:32):
  • Dave and Christy encourage Sarah by focusing on the positive path ahead:
    • "The best is in front of you. The worst is behind you. You start walking with Jesus, and both of you do that, you'll learn things that you never learned before." – Dave Ramsey [07:44]
  • Christy closes with her "three most important decisions":
    • 1. Following Jesus.
    • 2. Marrying her husband.
    • 3. Getting on a financial plan and building wealth.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Moving Forward:

  "The ship has sailed on little 18-year-old Sarah walking down the aisle in an expensive wedding in a white dress. That was like a decade ago. It's gone. So go get married like today, tomorrow."
  — Dave Ramsey [03:05]

• On Being Stuck:

  "If it's not where it should be, you should have been gone like five years ago."
  — Dave Ramsey [03:44]

• On the Legal Side of Marriage:

  "You go, everybody gets married and gets the license before they walk down the aisle in the dress. Everybody. ... For you, you're just going to be delaying the part where you walk down the aisle, but everybody gets the certificate first."
  — Christy Wright [04:53]

• On Commitment:

  "If you leave, I'm going with you... go ahead and pack both suitcases because I'll be following you right along."
  — Dave Ramsey [07:01]

• On Encouragement:

  "The best is in front of you. The worst is behind you. ... You're setting those kids up for a much better life. You're setting yourselves up for a much better life, and I'm proud for where you're going."
  — Dave Ramsey [07:44]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:06] Sarah shares her relationship history and recent challenges.
• [01:12] Discussion of spiritual changes and the catalyst of the house fire.
• [01:39] Addressing lack of counseling and resources.
• [02:49] Dave on the reality of long engagements and practical marriage advice.
• [03:32] Exploring commitment readiness after 13 years.
• [04:03] Courthouse marriage and the option for future celebration.
• [06:17] Commitment and the emotional weight of formalizing a relationship.
• [06:32] Importance of marital counseling.
• [07:01] Anecdote on the permanence of long marriages.
• [07:44] Encouragement about faith, future, and family.

Tone and Language

The conversation balances pragmatic advice with warm, encouraging tones. Dave’s direct, no-nonsense style is softened by Christy’s empathetic and faith-centered approach. Both hosts stress practicality, spiritual growth, and the importance of commitment, aiming to empower Sarah to make decisive, healthy choices for her family.

Summary Takeaway:
Sarah is urged to let go of the dream of a big wedding, focus on solidifying her family’s commitment now, seek counseling (even if online), and trust that taking action grounded in faith and togetherness will set everyone up for a stronger future.