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Dave Ramsey
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Wendy
Sorry. My question is. So now my husband and I, we are looking into getting a divorce. And I am trying to P1 everything in half, half of everything. But I'm trying to find a way that is more fair for both of us. So back to when we got married.
Dave Ramsey
How long have you been married?
Wendy
10 years.
Dave Ramsey
Why are you divorcing?
Wendy
That's where I'm about to get to is financial infidelity. So. And just a lot beyond that. So. So 10 years ago when he walked into the. We, we got married and he was in 300. 300,000 student loan. So we, you know, I kind of came up with a plan to help him pay it off is that we basically spend nothing and he has to make another extra $1,000 a month. So which is, you know, working, picking up a weekend a month. About that.
Dave Ramsey
So 10 years ago he came into the marriage with $300,000 in student loan debt. You guys teamed up and paid it off.
Wendy
Sorry, I couldn't hear but I said no.
Dave Ramsey
Ten years ago you said you got married and he came in with $300,000 in student loan debt and you guys teamed up and got it all paid off.
Wendy
I wish the team up is the case, but that wasn't really the case. So 10 years ago I kind of came up with a plan. So he's had to pick up another $1,000 a month and we are going to invest in rental unit and the rental income basically going to help pay off our expense and pay it off. So what ended up happening is he did not ended up doing any of those extra hours which refused to pick up any shift because he said that's not his life passion. And the rental income, he ended up took it. He took it and spent it.
Dave Ramsey
So what do you, what have you been making, Wendy? What do you make a year?
Wendy
I make 140,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And you put up with this crap for 10 years?
Wendy
I would put on for way too long. And the thing that now it gave me a lot of. I just try to always believe that, you know, he just needs some more time. So I ended up working two jobs. I am the one ended up picking those extra shift to help him pay because every time when they come to when bills need to be paid, just say he doesn't have the money.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Wendy, I got really bad news, honey. I'm sorry. The law doesn't care in Ohio. When you get a divorce, you're going to split things 50. 50. Unless there's something else other than you just earned more and he was lazy. That one doesn't work. That's what the lawyer is going to tell you when you sit with them. But you need to go sit with a lawyer and find out for sure. But I think that's what you're going to hear.
Wendy
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
That you put up with us for too long.
Wendy
For way too long.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Wendy
Way too long.
Dave Ramsey
So what do you guys actually own? Do you actually own anything? Money?
Wendy
Yeah. We have rental property and also our current home. What's it worth, the rental property? Worth 300,000 around there. Our current home worth about 400,000.
Dave Ramsey
How much debt on the. 700,000 in real estate?
Wendy
Yeah. So everything is paid off.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, it's all paid off.
Wendy
Oh, geez.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, God. And you did all of this with your sweat while he sat at home and because it wasn't his passion to work much.
Unknown
Do you have kids, Wendy?
Wendy
Yes, we have a kid. And that's what my. My. So we moved to the state where his family is. So I really don't have a support network. And when we got married, he agreed that we only going to live here for a few years and then we're going to move to.
Dave Ramsey
You volunteered for all. Yes. Okay. You can't. You stayed put when you. You had the option to say no on any of this and put it to an end earlier than you did. So it's now over. I'm sorry.
Unknown
Where are you guys in the divorce process? Wendy, have you filed?
Dave Ramsey
She hadn't even talked to a lawyer yet. Have you.
Wendy
We. We are just. Yeah, we.
Unknown
At the beginning of it.
Wendy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
I'm sorry. But what you're going to discover is what a friend of mine who does divorce recovery figured out and that is, is that divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction and a legal transaction and the law will state that child support, maybe some alimony, maybe you'll get some alimony out of him, but I doubt it. Doesn't sound like this guy's exactly going to be coming forth with a bunch of money. Maybe you can negotiate a large, you know, let him have the rental and you take the big house or something. You may get a little more than half in a settlement in a settled deal if the judge will approve it in Ohio law. I don't know Ohio law and I'm not an attorney even if I did. So you need to talk to one. But most states don't care if the. If the mom was a Stay at home mom and didn't earn an income for 10 years. She gets half.
Unknown
That's what I was thinking about.
Dave Ramsey
She gets half. And your husband's a. You know, not work much while you work all the time. Yeah, he gets half. I mean you sign, you. You tolerated it and so I'm not saying you did something wrong. I'm glad you hung on, tried to make it work, but that's where you're stuck with, kiddo. I'm sorry. That's an ouchie.
Unknown
Well, it's one of those things too. I'm like where things start when it's starting out, all the intentions are good. Right. And then you start to watch it just drift and drift and drift and until a huge red flag is thrown. It ends up getting here. But that's the thing too is I'm like if it was opposite. If this was a guy calling and saying his wife was home. Right. Why does it make us angry?
Dave Ramsey
If she was at home saying it's not my passion to work much after she had made a commitment with $300,000 worth of student loan debt to be committed to work and help get it paid off. I'm gonna bring down on her just like I'm gonna bring down on him. Nobody gets out of that one alive.
Unknown
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
So no, that's. You know. You know, this is someone who. Someone else. His mommy has taken care of him.
Unknown
Oh no.
Dave Ramsey
I was hearing his wife was his new mommy and that's what happened. He. He's a mama's boy and. Oh yeah.
Unknown
Well, the only. The only positive Wendy out of all of this is he's gone. Well, I mean, seriously, I'm like the. The attitude and the. The mood that he probably brings her down day after day.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Unknown
And you'll be free from it. And you may make more money Wendy being out of this situation. So you'll definitely will it is one of those things you just have to.
Dave Ramsey
Easier to swim without an anchor tied around you.
Unknown
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
It's just way easier. Yeah. You're going to bust out, girl. It's going to be great. I'm sorry.
Unknown
I hate to get a lawyer because.
Dave Ramsey
I do the people in and marriages but you know, it's sound like you got rid of a. You get a. You get a fresh start, kiddo. And with or without some rental property and with or without the details on the house. But you know, even if you just sell it all and pile it up in one pile and split it down the middle, you're going to be okay. You're going to be fine. You're. You'll be all right. And you can live wherever you want to live. You don't have to live there if you don't want to live near his family. Take off. Go back where you were. Go back where you want to be. You get to decide now. And so the future is bright. There were a lot of storms in the past in the rearview mirror, but they're all in the past. Well, soon. Soon to be, anyway. Ouch. Ouch. Why? Refi Refinances Delinquent private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at Y r e f y.com Ramsey.
Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – "I've Got Really Bad News For You"
Episode Overview
Time Stamp: [00:10] – [01:21]
Wendy reaches out to the show seeking guidance on her impending divorce after a decade-long marriage plagued by financial infidelity. She explains that her husband entered the marriage with $300,000 in student loan debt. Attempting to manage the financial strain, Wendy proposed a plan where they would limit spending and her husband would earn an extra $1,000 monthly by taking on additional work.
Notable Quote:
Time Stamp: [01:21] – [03:14]
Wendy details her substantial annual income of $140,000 and her relentless efforts to support both the household and her husband's financial obligations. Despite her high earnings, her husband failed to contribute as agreed, refusing to take on extra shifts and instead mismanaging the rental income meant to aid their financial situation.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [02:42] – [05:43]
Dave Ramsey delivers difficult news to Wendy, explaining that Ohio law mandates a 50-50 split of marital assets during divorce unless exceptional circumstances exist. He emphasizes that despite Wendy's substantial efforts and higher earnings, the legal system may still enforce an equal division of assets.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [03:14] – [03:48]
The conversation shifts to the couple’s assets, revealing significant real estate holdings:
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [03:48] – [05:43]
Wendy shares the emotional toll of the situation, including the strain on their child and her lack of a support network after relocating to her husband's family’s state. Dave Ramsey empathizes with her, highlighting the emotional weight of transforming a marriage into a legal and financial transaction.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [05:43] – [07:04]
Dave Ramsey offers a forward-looking perspective, encouraging Wendy to view the divorce as an opportunity for a fresh start. He suggests practical steps such as negotiating asset division, considering selling property to simplify the split, and reclaiming her independence both financially and personally.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [07:04] – [07:06]
In his concluding thoughts, Dave Ramsey reassures Wendy that despite the hardships, she can achieve financial and personal freedom post-divorce. He underscores the importance of making decisive moves towards a better future.
Notable Quote:
Conclusion
In this heartfelt episode, Dave Ramsey addresses the complexities of divorce intertwined with financial challenges. Wendy's story serves as a cautionary tale about financial infidelity and the importance of mutual responsibility in marriage. Ramsey’s compassionate yet straightforward advice provides clarity on navigating the legal and emotional landscapes of divorce, ultimately empowering listeners to seek fair resolutions and embrace new beginnings.
Key Takeaways:
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