Make My 10-Year-Old Pay For The $1,000 Table He Broke?

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: Make My 10-Year-Old Pay For The $1,000 Table He Broke?
Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network Team (featuring Ken Coleman, co-host/guest Julia)

This episode centers on a practical parenting and financial dilemma: Should a parent make their 10-year-old son pay for breaking expensive household items—specifically a $400 window and a glass table that costs thousands to replace? The discussion tackles personal responsibility, teaching kids about consequences and money, and how to balance grace and discipline, all through a candid, lively, and relatable exchange.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Incidents

• Julia (the caller/guest) shares that her 10-year-old son broke a $400 window by throwing a baseball, despite repeated warnings not to play in that spot. He also broke a glass table by pushing on it while standing up, though multiple children were involved in that moment ([00:12]-[01:09]).
• Julia: “We had told him not to do this, but he thought it was only... the glass door... He didn't realize the little door next to the door could break too.” ([00:39])
• Julia has made makeshift repairs to the table by taping up the jagged edge and turning it toward the wall while waiting for bulk trash pickup ([01:52], [07:44]).

2. Intent vs. Accident: Evaluating the Child’s Actions

• Ken and the Host clarify there’s a difference between intentional destruction and an accident born of disobedience, particularly in active, spirited boys. Both hosts reflect on their own childhoods and current parenting styles, recognizing kids often push limits in exuberant play ([04:45]-[05:31]).
• Host: “Disobedience and intentional destruction are two different things to me. Both are punishable because his disobedience was... more around a sport... It wasn't the window itself.” ([06:04])

3. Parenting Philosophy: Consequences and Lessons

• The consensus is that genuine remorse matters, but there must still be a consequence to reinforce respect for property and parental rules.
• Ken: “You told him a thousand times and he still did it. I'd make him pay for the full 400 [dollars]. Now on the glass table, I wouldn't make him pay the thousand dollars... but I'd still have him pay something.” ([03:54])
• Ken: “He needs to do real work for somebody and get some money back. I love this actually, because you're not mad at him or yelling at him, and you're going, look, Sparky, there's consequences.” ([04:19])

4. Age-Appropriate Accountability

• Ken advocates scaling the financial consequence to the nature of the incident and the warnings given. He supports making the child work for the money—outside the home and regular chores, suggesting lawn mowing or similar jobs ([04:20]).
• Ken: “I started cutting lawns at 11. Don't anybody freak. Don't at me.” ([04:22])

5. Parental Softness and Gender Differences

• The hosts acknowledge being “soft” on their own kids, reflecting on differences in behavior between boys and girls. Boys’ high energy leads to more destruction, which is often more about activity than malice ([08:44]).
• Ken: “All little boys’ brains are on fire... and that's just part of being a boy.” ([08:44])

6. Safety and Pragmatism

• The hosts caution about temporary fixes for broken items, especially glass, prioritizing child safety over waiting for bulk trash schedules ([01:56], [07:27]).
• Ken: “I must be getting older. I don't like the shard of glass turned towards the wall with the tape on it... I get the table out of there.” ([07:26])

7. Wrap-Up: Teaching Responsibility Without Harshness

• The hosts agree that Julia is a good mom and that requiring her son to pay for the damage is a solid teaching moment, not harsh punishment ([09:00]).
• Ken: “...this is a great way to teach a lesson... that's enough punishment just to kind of go, here's the concept.” ([09:00])
• Host: “He needs to feel a little something—an effect of what his actions are. So I get that.” ([09:08])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ken: “You told him a thousand times and he still did it. I'd make him pay for the full 400 [dollars] now on the glass table... I'd still have him pay something, but not $1,000.” ([03:54])
• Host: “Disobedience and intentional destruction are two different things to me. Both are punishable...” ([06:04])
• Ken: “He needs to do real work for somebody and get some money back. I love this actually, because... there's consequences.” ([04:19])
• Ken: “I just want to be clear. You don't think he was being disobedient? Yes or no? He was disobeying his mom.” ([05:56])
• Julia: "[The 10-year-old] is the most destructive. My 12 year old just broke a glass part of picture frames because he threw a ball in the house even though he knows not to." ([08:24])
• Ken: “All little boys’ brains are on fire. I know... and that's just part of being a boy.” ([08:44])
• Host: “He needs to feel a little something—an effect of what his actions are.” ([09:08])

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Important Timestamps

• 00:12–01:09: Julia describes the broken window and table incidents; warnings prior to the events.
• 03:11–03:55: Ken gives firm advice on consequences and payment.
• 04:19–04:45: Discussion about requiring kids to earn money via real work to pay for damages.
• 06:04–07:04: Debate on disobedience vs. intention, and when consequences are warranted.
• 07:27–07:44: Host and Ken circle back to the safety hazard posed by the broken glass table.
• 08:24–09:14: Julia reflects on differences in behavior among her three kids; hosts share empathy and humor.

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Summary Table: Guidance and Takeaways

| Incident | Host/Ken Ruling | Key Reason | |-----------------|-------------------------------------------|------------------------| | Broken Window | Pay full $400 (Ken) or at least a portion | Clear disobedience | | Broken Table | Pay part, not full (Ken) | Mixed responsibility & less clear warning |

Teach consequences for repeated, willful disobedience, scaling penalties to reflect the child's understanding and means and focusing on teaching—not just punishing.

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Tone and Final Insights

The episode strikes a lighthearted yet practical tone, empathizing with the challenges of raising active kids while stressing the importance of teaching respect for property and natural consequences. The hosts provide actionable advice while recognizing the emotional nuance of parenting real children, not just financial “cases.” Julia leaves with validation and a plan—and the hosts wrap with laughter and realism about family life.

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Useful for parents facing similar dilemmas: require a child to contribute toward damages when there’s clear disobedience—help them earn the money through real-world work, and use the situation as a teaching moment about consequences, not just as a punishment.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Julia]

Children pay when they break things. Recently my 10 year old broke a $400 window and a glass table. That is thousands of dollars to replace.

[Ken]

Well, what happened? The 10 year old is. Is this a boy or a girl?

[Host]

Boy.

[Julia]

It's a boy.

[Host]

I was like, I can answer that.

[Ken]

Take it easy on the boys.

[Host]

What was he doing? Was he just being a boy and. Yeah, like. Like jumping.

[Julia]

What was he doing with the window? He was throwing the baseball.

[Ken]

Oh.

[Julia]

And we had told him not to do this, but he thought it was only that we were telling him that the glass door, like the storm door was going to break. He didn't realize the little door next to the door could break too.

[Ken]

Wait a second.

[Julia]

He was upset about himself, about that.

[Ken]

Did he throw the ball directly at it or was he playing with a friend or a sibling and somebody missed.

[Julia]

Could have been someone missed it because. Yeah, they usually throw the ball toward the door and they keep the batter right in front of the door.

[Ken]

And they know not to, but they've.

[Julia]

Been told not to many, many, many times.

[Ken]

Okay, all right, this is great. I'm gathering information here. I haven't ruled yet. Now, the second. The glass table, what happened with that one?

[Julia]

Okay, so the glass table, you know, you could stand up, like on your own, using your own body strength, or you could push off of the table and push, push up. So that's what he did, I guess. And somebody else was pushing up at the same time and it shattered and the whole. The whole side of the table, like, snapped. So we actually are just using a fragment of what used to be the table.

[Ken]

Is that safe given that it's a glass table?

[Julia]

Yes. We turned the jagged edge towards the wall and we put tape on it. And no one sits over there, Julia.

[Ken]

I gotta tell you, I am no miss. No one's ever gonna, you know, confuse me with an OSHA inspector, but I'd probably get the glass table out of the living room. Okay. Very easy ruling for me. He felt bad on both instances, correct?

[Julia]

Yes.

[Ken]

Okay, and how long has it been since the.

[Julia]

These two instances, the window was over the summer and the wind and the glass table was within the last month or two?

[Ken]

Well, I would have, I feel. I mean, okay, it's not going to change my ruling, but I think you should have acted a little quicker. But, yeah, I think you should sit him down and go, hey, I told you a thousand times, not to play baseball in front of the door. You did it. And by the way, this is why I told you it's not mom trying to cramp your baseball style. I'm sure that's your favorite spot. Totally get it. But I knew this was a possibility and happened. So I know you feel bad, but you know what? You didn't really learn the lesson. And so that cost us X amount of dollars. And then the glass table, probably you didn't want to go ahead.

[Julia]

You wouldn't have him pay for any of that window. I would talk to him.

[Ken]

I would 100% have him pay for it, but I would sit down. I would have done it like, within the first 48 hours we got.

[Julia]

I told him he needs to pay 100 of the 4.

[Ken]

Well, then you've already told him. So Ken's advice doesn't count anymore. I mean, you're not gonna go if.

[Host]

You need a follow through moving forward.

[Julia]

Because he's not gonna stop breaking stuff. I'm curious. Now that I'm a Dave Ramsey, I'd like to know what to do.

[Ken]

Well, what the deal is, is that, is that I think he learns his lesson. So if you told I missed that somehow that you said you're going to pay $100. I love that. I probably would have made him pay for the whole thing. On the baseball.

[Host]

10 years old, Y', all, you get a ruling.

[Ken]

I'm having my ruling.

[Host]

Okay.

[Ken]

I'm writing. My ruling is.

[Host]

I'm writing mine.

[Ken]

You told him a thousand times and he still did it. I'd make him pay for the full 400 now on the glass table. I wouldn't make him pay the thousand dollars because there was no. Hey, don't. The way you described what happened, I don't even. I don't even know if it makes any sense. I'd have a little bit more grace on that, but I'd still have him pay something, but not $1,000. But, yeah, he's got to start to respect your stuff, so.

[Host]

Sure.

[Ken]

I love the idea of making him go do real work, by the way. Not like chores around the house that you pay for. No, he's got to go get a lawnmower out or whatever. I started cutting lawns at 11. Don't anybody freak. Don't at me. But he needs to do real work for somebody and get some money back. I love this, actually, because you're not. You're not mad at him or yelling at him, and you're going, look, Sparky, there's consequences. And I Love that you wouldn't make him pay anything.

[Host]

I think it was not intentional. There was no ill will because I think there's some kids.

[Ken]

There was disobedience.

[Host]

Yeah, but it's not intentional. He was not saying, I want to go break that. Like, there are some kids that I think are destructive and they're doing things on purpose to rile at their parents. And then. You know what I mean, that. That there's an ill spirit to it and that. Correction. I would much. Yes, I would have them pay. But he. Julia, I don't know why. I just. I'm like. There's a part of me. I'm like, you're. You're. You have a boy like Charles is already throw. I mean, and he's 5. But I'm like, I already see things. And we do tell him, hey, don't do that. But if he breaks the thing, the big light fixture we have. Cause he's all into this like foam basketball thing and he's trying to. I don't know. Part of me. If it breaks, I'm like. Which granted, he's five. I don't think I would. I don't know if I would make him pay for it again.

[Ken]

I don't have any judgment.

[Host]

I don't know.

[Ken]

For those of us. Let's tell you a real story. The corner.

[Host]

I mean, can you have two boys? Yeah.

[Ken]

And you tell you a real story.

[Host]

Gotten there yet? As a parent with a boy, I see glimpses of it, but I kind of like it too. I know this is terrible.

[Ken]

Julia, you're confusing me. You said you were okay with her making him pay a hundred dollars on the door.

[Host]

No, no, I didn't. If he was being. If he was being destructive on purpose, that there are some kids that are very destructive on purpose to rally their parents.

[Ken]

I just want to be clear. You don't think he was being disobedient? Yes or no? He was disobeying his mom.

[Host]

Disobedience and intentional destruction are two different things to me. Both are punishable because his disobedience was not. It was more around a sport that then affected the window. It wasn't the window itself.

[Ken]

I'd love if you were my mom. I gotta tell you, no consequences here because my heart was good. No, he disobeyed his mom. Julia dis. He disobey you in your mind?

[Host]

Jul. Julia's still pissed you didn't let her.

[Ken]

You didn't let her finish. Julia, I'm not pissed. I'm as happy as I Can be. It's not my kid, not my problem. I'm just weighing in on it. Julia. Did he disobey you?

[Julia]

Yes.

[Ken]

He knew he was disobeying you based on how many times you told him, don't stand here and play baseball. Yes or no?

[Julia]

Yes.

[Ken]

You're a good mom. You're a good mom.

[Host]

Did he disobey you at all with the table? Was there any warnings around the table or was that just a pure accident?

[Julia]

Yes. I tell them not to push on the table.

[Host]

Oh.

[Julia]

All the time. Don't lean on it. Don't put your elbows on it.

[Ken]

Then he's gotta pay.

[Julia]

I said it's glass.

[Ken]

He's gotta pay. That too. He's got to pay a big portion of that one. He's got to learn his lesson.

[Julia]

He might need it. He might need to take a HELOC out.

[Host]

Get some of the last guy's retirement. Yeah.

[Ken]

I mean, I'll say this. The kid. The kid is in debt to you because he broke your glass table.

[Host]

I know.

[Ken]

And I gotta say, I'm gonna circle back to this one. I must be getting older. I don't like the shard of glass turned towards the wall with the tape on it. I'm gonna bring that one back up. I feel like I'll sleep better at night. Telling you, I get the table out of there. But yeah, he needs to pay.

[Julia]

I do have bulk trash scheduled for pickup, so we are getting it out.

[Host]

There you go.

[Ken]

I just care about. Because this kid's gonna run around the corner and God forbid he runs into the jagged edge. I know.

[Host]

And I just like that he's like playing, you know, I do too. But he also needs a great iPad and he's.

[Ken]

He needs a lesson. Listen. Because what happens when he breaks something that's way more expensive.

[Host]

How many kids do you have, Julia?

[Julia]

Three. I have a daughter and then two boys.

[Host]

And then the two boys.

[Ken]

How old are they?

[Host]

The double boy thing, that really gets that, you know, the patience gets lower maybe.

[Ken]

How old is a 10 year old, your oldest?

[Julia]

He's my youngest.

[Ken]

Oh.

[Julia]

And he is the most destructive. My 12 year old just broke a glass part of picture frames because he threw a ball in the house even though he knows not to.

[Ken]

And I did.

[Julia]

My daughter, who's 16.

[Ken]

Go ahead.

[Julia]

My daughter, who's 16, is really not destructive at all.

[Ken]

Well, no, because she's a female.

[Host]

They color. That's what little girls do.

[Ken]

All little boys. Brains are on fire. I know. You know, and. And that's just part of being a boy. And. And by the way, I did all of those things you described. Except for the glass table. We were too. We. We couldn't afford a glass table.

[Host]

Didn't have a glass table.

[Ken]

But I will say that I think you're a good mom. And, yeah, I think this is a great way to teach a lesson without, you know, that's enough punishment just to kind of go, here's the concept.

[Host]

He needs to feel a little something.

[Ken]

Yeah.

[Host]

An effect of what his actions are. So I get that. I know. I'm just. I. I don't know.

[Julia]

Thank you.

[Ken]

Yeah. Thanks for calling. You are such a softie.

[Host]

I think maybe honestly, because I have two girls, and you see that, and, you know, they're doing the girl thing and dancing and singing the High School Musical. And then you got little Charles with a little ball. Part of me is like, you play with that, and that's a cutie.

[Ken]

But let Charles. Let Charles shatter a really important window.

[Host]

I know.

[Ken]

After you've told him not to. And let's see how lovingly you handle that.

[Host]

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