My Boyfriend Secretly Spent $11,000 on My Credit Card

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: "My Boyfriend Secretly Spent $11,000 on My Credit Card"
Date: May 20, 2026
Host(s): Ramsey Network team (Primary speakers: Dave Ramsey (A), Rachel Cruze/George Kamel (C))
Caller: Marie

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on "Marie," a caller whose boyfriend secretly accumulated over $11,000 in debt across her credit cards. The conversation unpacks how this financial entanglement happened, the legal and practical options available to her, and broader lessons about combining finances with non-marital partners. The hosts provide step-by-step advice, blending empathy with practical measures for protection and recovery.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin of the Credit Card Debt

• Marie’s Background:
  Marie had been following Ramsey's Baby Steps to pay off debt. She noticed unexplained balances on two credit cards—triggering her call for advice.
  "It was actually the baby steps that helped me realize that those two cards had been run up. I didn't realize it at the time." — Marie, [00:18]

• How the Debt Began:
  Marie gave her credit card to a pest control service with a verbal agreement her boyfriend would cover the charges. However, the boyfriend started to use the card for other bills (insurance, car parts) without her knowledge.

2. The Boyfriend’s Unauthorized Spending

• Unauthorized Use Details:
  Marie noticed large unexplained balances in 2023, years after the recurring payments began. She learned he was using the card for joint and personal bills—sometimes without informing her.

  "He was supposed to be paying the recurring charges for the flea and tick company, but then I started looking in there...I saw he was using the card to pay for our car insurance...other transactions for, like, advanced auto parts." — Marie, [03:01]

• Access to Statements:
  The boyfriend had the bills sent to their shared home but intercepted them, keeping Marie unaware until balances had ballooned.
  "He would take the bill because he was supposed to be paying it for the green next company." — Marie, [04:06]

3. Legal and Financial Recourse

• Is This Legally Fraud?
  Discussion centers on whether Marie has recourse through her credit card companies. Because she voluntarily provided the card initially, most charges are not strictly “unauthorized” in the legal sense.

  "If you willingly gave your credit card over and you just have a crappy boyfriend who's not paying it, that's more on you guys. That's not a legal standing." — Host (C), [04:16]

  "Especially after three years...all of a sudden you're calling the credit card companies and, hey, there's some fraudulent charges here from three years ago." — Dave Ramsey (A), [04:32]

  • Advice: Review all statements, contact the credit card companies to flag truly unknown or unauthorized transactions, but recognize the chances of reversal are slim due to the elapsed time and the initial consent.

4. Current Situation and Steps Forward

• Outstanding Debt:
  Marie has worked the balances down but still owes $8,100 on one card (initially $10,900) and $4,900 on a Lowe’s card. She has otherwise eliminated her debts.
  "The card balance is $8,100. But that's because I paid it down...The current balance [on the other card] is now $4,900." — Marie, [05:50], [07:22]

• Relationship and Housing:
  Marie has ended the relationship, but her ex refuses to leave her house, requiring formal eviction.
  "I don't consider myself to be in a relationship with him anymore, and I plan to send him with an eviction notice really soon." — Marie, [06:04]
  "I own the home... And he won't leave." — Marie, [06:37]

  • Host’s advice: Begin eviction proceedings; do not count on informal agreements.

5. Protecting Herself Moving Forward

• Financial Safety Steps:
  The hosts urge Marie to freeze her credit, close all credit card accounts (she can still pay off existing balances), and cut all financial ties immediately.

  "Go on to every credit bureau's website, TransUnion, Equifax, all of them...Freeze your credit completely so that nobody can open up any accounts in your name." — Dave Ramsey (A), [08:44]

  "I'm closing down every credit card account. You can still pay it off after that, but close them down. Freeze your credit and get this guy out of your life." — Dave Ramsey (A), [09:13]

6. The Broader Lesson: “Stupid Tax”

• The hosts call the $12,000 loss a “stupid tax”—a costly but valuable lesson about financial boundaries with partners.

  "This gets chalked up to $12,000 of stupid tax...a really hard lesson. Which is so frustrating for you...But I would cut off any access of any accounts from him and making sure he has no access to you financially." — Host (C), [08:03]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the reality of legal options:
  “If you willingly gave your credit card over and you just have a crappy boyfriend who’s not paying it, that’s more on you guys. That’s not a legal standing.” — Host (C), [04:16]

• On relationship denial:
  “He keeps saying he’s in a relationship, and I can’t change his thoughts.” — Marie, [06:25]
  (Hosts jokingly highlight the absurdity here, driving home the importance of boundaries.)

• On protecting your financial future:
  “I would still freeze your credit. I don’t trust him. Who knows what he would do when he gets pissed that you evict him. I mean. Nope.” — Host (C), [09:06]

• On closure and learning:
  “This is not going to be fun, but it’ll be a lesson well learned. You’ll never do this one again.” — Dave Ramsey (A), [09:13]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• The beginning of the debt confusion: [00:06 – 01:49]
• Discovery of unauthorized charges: [01:49 – 03:48]
• Discussing legal options & flagging fraud: [03:48 – 04:39]
• Ex-boyfriend's access and the need for eviction: [06:04 – 07:00]
• Current debt numbers and financial status: [05:44 – 07:22]
• Steps for financial protection: [08:44 – 09:13]
• Broad lesson and final thoughts: [08:03 – End]

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Summary

This episode is a cautionary tale about protecting your finances in relationships outside of marriage. Marie’s hard-earned lesson underscores the importance of keeping financial boundaries and monitoring accounts. The Ramsey team offers practical steps to regain control—freeze your credit, cut all shared financial ties, and pay off debts. Despite the loss, Marie is applauded for her commitment to the Baby Steps and is encouraged to see this as a lesson that, while costly, will serve her well in the future.

Transcript

[A]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[B]

My current live in boyfriend, who I plan to serve a 30 day notice to very soon, he ran up two of my credit cards. And I've been following the baby steps and I paid everything off except for those two credit cards. And it was actually the baby steps that helped me realize that those two carts had been run up. I didn't realize it at the time. And I guess I'm just looking for, I guess a way through to figure out if there's a possibility for me to recoup my money back. I'm paying for the. Paying for it because it's on my credit.

[A]

Yeah. Well, was he an authorized user on your card? How did he get access?

[B]

He was not an authorized user on my card. So at the time, still we're living together and we had a mosquito tick flea service that we were supposed to be paying for. They said they wanted to do like the automatic. They wanted to charge us automatically. And I was at home at the time and so I used my credit card and gave it to them. And he said, don't worry about it, I'll pay for the service. And so that's how it started.

[A]

So he grabbed your credit card while he was at home? Saw it on a table.

[B]

What happened? No, I gave it to them.

[C]

You did it, okay. With the promise that he was going to pay it back?

[B]

Yeah. And they would be charging a card every month. It's a monthly recurring charge. And then he would, you know, pay for it. That was part of one of his bills. He was part of the household.

[A]

But then what happened? You said he ran it up.

[B]

Well, yeah, I didn't realize he had ran it up because I. He was just supposed to be paying that recurring charge. And then it was in 2023 that I realized that this card had like a really big balance on. And I was like, hey, what are you doing? And I said, and I noticed like your payments aren't covering the charges. And he told me, don't worry about it, I got it, I've been paying it, I'm going to keep paying it. And he said, you know, like, we haven't done this before, but that was three years ago.

[A]

What happened since then with the balance?

[B]

It continued to continue to balloon.

[A]

And what does the credit card statement say?

[C]

Is it all this one company on this credit card?

[B]

This particular one? Yes. He actually ended up doing it to two. But what I was on my radar was this one credit cards, one company.

[A]

Okay, well, if it Truly was without your knowledge. It was unauthorized use. That's fraud. And you can call your credit card company.

[C]

She gave the card to the company. Well, do you know what I mean? From a legal perspective, yeah, but was

[A]

there other things on this outside of that flea and tick service?

[C]

That's what I'm wondering.

[A]

Is he buying other stuff?

[B]

That's what. And that's what I didn't realize. So he was supposed to be paying the recurring charges for the flea and tick company, but then I started looking in there when I noticed that the credit card balance had gone up. And then he started using. I saw he was using the card to pay for our car insurance. You know, like 7, $800 to pay for the car insurance for your own

[C]

car insurance for yours or his or

[B]

both ours, because we were in the house together. And he had two cars on the insurance. I had one car on the insurance. The insurance was another bill he was supposed to pay. I did not know he used my card to pay the insurance. And then I started seeing other transactions for, like, advanced auto parts and car parts this and car parts that.

[C]

Okay, Maria, I have a question. Random other stuff for the credit card statement every month. Where was that being mailed to or sent to you?

[B]

It was being mailed to our address, our home.

[C]

And you just didn't see it? Or he would take the bill and you never saw the bill?

[B]

I never saw the bill. He would take the bill because he was supposed to be paying it for the green next company.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

And so I just didn't. I didn't think anything of it, that he was taking the bill because he was.

[C]

So some of this, Marie. So some of this, from a legal perspective, George, correct me, but some of this, if it really was without your knowledge, I think you can flag that as fraud. But, Marie, if you willingly gave your credit card over and you just have a crappy boyfriend who's not paying it, that's more on you guys. That's not a legal standing.

[A]

Especially after three years and all of a sudden you're calling the credit card companies and, hey, there's some fraudulent char charges here from three years ago.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't call the credit card company and say there were fraudulent charges. I noticed that. I didn't say that. I went to him and said, hey, what are you doing? Like you're supposed to be paying these bills.

[C]

Have you called him?

[B]

I just met this. I'm sorry.

[C]

Have you called and put a freeze on anything on your credit or this account or for more money? Not to be taken out.

[B]

Well, by that time, I had. So what ended up happening is. I told it. What ended up happening is he just stopped paying the bill. Just period.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And I said, why aren't you making the payments? He said, I'm sorry, I missed the payment. And he was going off of the fact that we had done this before. I haven't just met the man. I've known him for a very long time. And he used my credit card to do other things like buy tires. And he paid the bill, and we just kept moving. It had never been an issue.

[C]

Okay, so from this. From today where we stand. Marie, how much is on the card balance?

[B]

As of right now, the card balance is $8,100. But that's because I paid it down.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

At the time was $10,900.

[C]

And are you guys broken up? What's the. What's the status of the relationship?

[B]

I don't consider myself to be in a relationship with him anymore, and I plan to send him with an eviction notice really soon.

[A]

What do you mean you don't consider it? Are you guys broken up or not? It's not like a feeling. Well, I don't consider. You know, I don't identify as a single person. It's just. Did you guys break up or did you not?

[B]

I have broken up. He keeps saying he's in a relationship, and I can't change his thoughts.

[A]

Who's he saying it to?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So. Okay. So, yeah. So you're. You're.

[A]

He's in denial.

[C]

He's.

[A]

Is his name on the lease?

[B]

I own the home.

[A]

Okay. So there's no lease.

[B]

Own the home. And he won't leave.

[C]

Yes. That needs to be. A sheriff will need to show up and evict him. Correct. Because this has gotten so entangled Proceedings. Yes. From a. From a financial perspective. So entangled. And this is what happens when people commingle finances. When you're not married, you have no legal protection. Really?

[B]

Well, on your end, in 2020, once I start listening to you guys.

[C]

Yes. So I'm so sorry. So already. Okay, so you got $8,000 left. So, Marie, we got to figure out. Is that the only debt you have is this card?

[B]

He did the same similar thing to the Lowe's card. I did not that card. I didn't know he was using that at all.

[C]

Okay, how much is on that?

[B]

And the current balance is now $4,900, but he ran it up to like 50. $600. And outside of those two bills, I have no Other balances. Because I started with your debt snowball.

[C]

Oh, yes, you said that. Okay, Perfect. Okay. So what I would do is I would become. I would investigate as much as I can calling these two credit card companies. And in good standing of faith of what you can say, honestly, yes, these were charges I did not know about. You probably can't say about. About the flea tick company because you willingly gave over your credit card and he just never paid you back. And that's between you guys. But. But from a legal standpoint, here are charges that I did not know about. And I would try. I would see what.

[A]

You know, see if they'll reverse it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If they can reverse any of it. Um, I don't know if they will. Cause it's been so many years. But it would be amazing if not. And then if it doesn't, Marie, it's. I mean, yeah, this gets chalked up to $12,000 of stupid tax is what we call it of just like a really hard lesson. Which is so frustrating for you. It's so frustrating for you because you've been working this plan and you've been doing it and it's just. It may be a really not fun lesson to learn, if you know what I mean. If this is the bills that you have to end up paying. Cause it's all in your name. But I would cut off any. Any access of any accounts from him and making sure he has no access to you financially and. Yeah.

[A]

And I would go on to every credit Bureau's website, TransUnion, Equifax, all of them in Franklin. Freeze your credit completely so that nobody can open up any accounts in your name.

[B]

He didn't do it to any other card. Just those two. And he hasn't done it. And just as I don't care as

[A]

far as you know, I don't trust him.

[B]

I've already checked. No, he hasn't.

[A]

I would still freeze your credit.

[C]

Freeze your credit. Do not. No, I don't trust him. Who knows what he would do when he gets pissed that you a victim. I mean. Nope.

[A]

I. I'm closing down every credit card account. You can still pay it off after that, but close them down. Freeze your credit and get this guy out of your life. And then clean up the debt yourself. This is not going to be fun, but it'll be a lesson well learned. You'll never do this one again. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.