My Boyfriend Wants Me to Drain My 401(k) for Crypto

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode Title: My Boyfriend Wants Me to Drain My 401(k) for Crypto
Host/Author: Ramsey Network
Release Date: July 14, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Shelby reaches out with a concerning financial dilemma involving her new boyfriend's investment advice. Hosted by Dave Ramsey and featuring insights from financial expert Jade Warshaw, the discussion delves into the red flags of financial manipulation and scam tactics, particularly in the realm of cryptocurrency investments.

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Caller’s Concern: Shelby's Dilemma (00:06 - 01:12)

Shelby, a 37-year-old single mother currently on Dave Ramsey's Baby Step Three, which focuses on saving a six-month emergency fund, contacts the show with a troubling situation. She shares that her boyfriend, whom she's been dating for about a month, possesses significantly more financial resources. Recently, he has been urging her to liquidate her 401(k) to invest in cryptocurrency, claiming a “90% money-back” guarantee based on a plan he's been developing for three years.

Notable Quote:

• Shelby (00:06): "He’s trying to get me to cash out my 401k to, I guess, fund crypto because he said he has this, I guess, plan that he's been working for about three years, and he said it has a 90%, like, money back."

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Initial Reactions and Emotional Impact (01:12 - 02:13)

Dave Ramsey and Jade immediately sense Shelby's unease. Dave highlights the emotional stress Shelby is experiencing, while Jade emphasizes the manipulative behavior exhibited by her boyfriend. They both acknowledge Shelby’s instincts that something feels off.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey (01:12): "And he’s trying to get you to cash out your 401k and put it in a crypto buy that has a 90% probability is either an idiot or a con man."
• Jade Warshaw (01:21): "I think when something doesn’t feel right, it’s not right."

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Identifying Red Flags: Manipulation and Toxic Behavior (02:13 - 03:44)

The discussion shifts to dissecting the boyfriend's tactics, which include shaming and gaslighting Shelby into doubting her financial decisions. Dave Ramsey categorizes the boyfriend as either an "idiot or a con man," given the unrealistic promises of high returns on risky investments like cryptocurrency.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey (02:13): "Even if the advice was good, the process he’s using on his girlfriend is toxic."
• Jade Warshaw (01:17): "He’s trying to manipulate you here."

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Advice on Ending the Relationship (03:44 - 05:14)

Dave and Jade provide Shelby with actionable advice on how to extricate herself from the relationship. They discuss various methods of ending the relationship, including ghosting or directly communicating her decision. Dave emphasizes that Shelby deserves a relationship free from manipulation, regardless of the approach she chooses.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey (04:11): "You can do whatever you want. I don’t care."
• Jade Warshaw (04:55): "You've got to meet people. You’ve got to see people in person."

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Unmasking the Potential Scam: Catfishing and Boiler Rooms (05:14 - 07:59)

The conversation takes a deeper dive into the possibility that Shelby’s boyfriend is part of a larger scam operation, such as catfishing or a boiler room scheme. Jade points out that since the relationship is primarily online and they've never met in person, it raises significant suspicions. Dave corroborates this by explaining how such scams operate, often targeting vulnerable individuals through fabricated online personas.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey (06:31): "He doesn’t exist, darling. He’s not even real. This is a con."
• Jade Warshaw (06:03): "Can I just ask, have you seen him in real life or is this all online?"

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Broader Discussion on Scams and Financial Safety (07:59 - 09:16)

Dave and Jade extend the conversation to broader scam tactics, sharing personal anecdotes about spam texts and fraudulent emails. They emphasize the importance of vigilance and skepticism when encountering unsolicited financial opportunities, especially those promising exorbitant returns.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Ramsey (07:58): "I got a thing on my text the other day that was a spam text, and it said you have an unpaid Tennessee traffic ticket."
• Jade Warshaw (08:30): "That was one of the best ones I’ve seen, I have to say."

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Conclusion: Empowering the Listener (09:16 - End)

In wrapping up, Dave reaffirms the need for Shelby to trust her instincts and seek external perspectives when faced with dubious financial advice. He underscores the prevalence of both con men and well-meaning yet misguided individuals in the financial world, encouraging listeners to remain informed and cautious.

Notable Quote:

• Dave Ramsey (09:21): "How many of you out there are naive, you know? My God, that's. Wow. Catfished for sure."

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Key Takeaways

1. Trust Your Instincts: If a financial proposition feels off, it likely is. Listen to your gut feelings about potential investments and relationships.

2. Red Flags in Financial Advice: Be wary of anyone urging you to liquidate retirement funds for high-risk investments with guaranteed returns. Such promises are often unrealistic and indicative of scams.

3. Importance of Transparency: Genuine relationships and financial advisors operate with transparency and allow time for due diligence. Pressure tactics and evasion are major warning signs.

4. Awareness of Online Scams: Catfishing and boiler room scams are prevalent in online interactions. Always verify the authenticity of individuals and investment opportunities you encounter online.

5. Effective Communication: When exiting a toxic relationship, choose a method that aligns with your comfort level, whether it’s a direct conversation or a more discreet approach like ghosting.

6. Continuous Education: Stay informed about common scams and financial fraud tactics to better protect yourself and make informed decisions.

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This episode serves as a critical reminder of the importance of financial prudence and the vigilance required to navigate both personal relationships and investment opportunities. Through Shelby's story, listeners gain valuable insights into identifying and responding to potential financial manipulations and scams.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Shelby]

My question is brief. I'm trying to figure out whether the person I'm dating is actually a scam artist or not. With crypto. So, backstory. We started talking about a month ago, and he has way more money than I do. I'm on baby step three, so I'm trying to save up for my six month emergency fund, but he's trying to get me to cash out my 401k to, I guess, fund crypto because he said he has this, I guess, plan that he's been working for about three years, and he said it has a 90%, like, money back.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what does that sound like to you? I mean, you're calling us. What are you thinking?

[Shelby]

It sounds pretty sketchy, but when I've tried to talk to him about it, it's. Sorry. He keeps throwing it back, like, if I'm making a wrong decision and it's really stressing me out. And I've tried talking to him about it, but he just keeps coming back with that I'm not making good financial choices.

[Jade]

He's trying to. It sounds like he's really manipulating you here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I mean, all this emotion. Listen to this emotion. Mm.

[Jade]

I think you've got good instincts. You want to know what I think, Shelby? I think when something doesn't feel right, it's not right. Like, I think when you get that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Feeling inside yourself, you know, it smells bad because it stinks.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And it was enough to make you call. It was enough to make you call a radio show.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Shelby]

I'm 37 years old.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. When did you leave the Last bad relationship?

[Shelby]

2 1/2 years ago.

[Dave Ramsey]

Toxic?

[Shelby]

Very much.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay. And so you were just really, really wishing this one wasn't right until it was. Until it. Until it was. That's part of what makes you cry. It's not just him. It's just. You just. You just wanted this one to be okay, and it's not.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because here's the thing. Even. Even if the advice was good, the process he's using on his girlfriend is toxic. Would you agree with that? Yes. The shaming and the gaslighting?

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, for sure. And so I'm not sure if he's an idiot or a con man, but I am sure he's one of the two. Yeah, 100%. Anyone that tries to tell someone that they love to cash out their 401k and put it in a crypto buy that has a 90% probability is either an idiot or a con man, because there's no such thing. Even the people that are legitimately doing crypto would tell you that. And those numbers just don't work. You don't put your 401k money in crypto, even if you believe in crypto. You don't do that, and you don't have a 90% play even if you believe in crypto. And anybody that believes that is either an idiot or a con man, because the numbers don't justify that. The market doesn't justify that. There is no such thing. Okay? And I'm not sure which one he is, but I can tell you this. My friend Shelby, who I love, doesn't need to be dating a guy who's an idiot or a con man, and he's one of the two. You're done. I'm sorry.

[Shelby]

One last question.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry. Was that. Was I mean, was that. Was that too mean?

[Shelby]

No, no, that was.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did that kind of ring inside of you like I just touched the truth?

[Shelby]

Yeah. I just needed someone else's perspective from outside to tell me.

[Dave Ramsey]

Grandpa. Grandpa. Dad would box this guy's ears if he's trying to date my granddaughter. I'd run him off with something that was loaded.

[Shelby]

Do you think it would be too mean if I just kind of ghosted him?

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't. I don't really care what you do. There's 50 ways to leave your lover. You can do whatever you want. I don't care.

[Jade]

You've only known him for a month. Didn't you say.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Where'd you meet?

[Shelby]

Online, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know what I've decided? You can just send him a text, or you can send him an email, or you can call him. I don't care. And just say, I've decided that this is not working for me. I have a good life. End of story. No conversation. We're not going to talk about crypto. We're not going to talk about con man. Now, I will tell you, just an added commentary, just for the fun. Does that all sound right to you? Or did you think we were going to tell you something else?

[Shelby]

No, I was kind of hoping that you would just set me straight.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because I'm not setting you straight. I'm setting him straight. You deserve some love. This guy needs to be set straight, not you. I'm just agreeing what your brain was already telling you.

[Shelby]

Yeah, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Now, here's the deal. I've been walking around a long Long time. And I have gotten conned a lot more by enthusiastic ignoramuses than I have by con men. There's a lot more people who are enthusiastically stupid, including me, at times, than there are actual con men. That's why I can't tell what this guy is. And I really don't care. Either one is dangerous. An enthusiastic ignoramus will get you in as much trouble as Bernie Madoff. Okay. And so I don't care if he's an enthusiastic fool or if he is an actual con man. He's got some of the badges of con man is.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

A lot of the signals. A lot of the signals here. I don't run into this very often, but a lot of the signals are here.

[Jade]

Can I just ask, have you seen him in real life or is this all online?

[Shelby]

Oh, well, it's mostly online. I've been trying to meet him in person.

[Jade]

That's that.

[Dave Ramsey]

You've never met him on person.

[Jade]

That's the con man part.

[Dave Ramsey]

You've never met him in person.

[Shelby]

That's right. So I've been.

[Dave Ramsey]

Can you spell catfish?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Shelby]

Not really. No, I can.

[Jade]

That's.

[Shelby]

Yeah. That's because I'm a single mom and my schedule just doesn't match. We haven't had a chance to meet.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. He doesn't exist, darling. He's not even real. This is a con. There's not even a person over there. There's a boiler room working you. This is completely a con. I'm sorry. Good catch.

[Jade]

I just had a feeling.

[Dave Ramsey]

I went for the old guy. That was just dumb. And you got it now. This is a boiler room in Russia.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're trying to get your money.

[Jade]

It's a Nigerian prince.

[Dave Ramsey]

Worked, kiddo. This is a romance job. Oh, man.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. He doesn't even exist. That's even worse.

[Jade]

That's how those.

[Dave Ramsey]

My last boyfriend didn't exist. I'm trying to get a real one this time. Okay. That's your next toy.

[Jade]

That's how. That's how these crypto things are. You eat online, and then they start trolling, and next thing you know, you're talking about money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I'm. The lonely person is a target for sure. Sometimes it's old people. Sometimes it's somebody fresh off a breakup. Yeah, that's why I asked about the former relationship. Fresh off a breakup, You're. You're vulnerable. Wow.

[Jade]

Yeah, it's tough. You got to meet people. You got to see people in person.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, you don't have a boyfriend, honey. You have a Boiler room. There's eight people on the other end typing these things out. And occasionally they put a male voice with it from AI. Wow, you were. Yeah, that was con. Completely. Yeah, I changed my answer. You don't even. Yes. You need to just ghost them.

[Jade]

Yeah, just ghost them.

[Dave Ramsey]

I got a thing on my text the other day that was a spam text, and it said you have an unpaid Tennessee traffic ticket.

[Jade]

Yes, me too.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, they're going crazy with it right now. You got it, too?

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you got it, everybody. The audience is getting them. This is so great.

[Jade]

It was pretty well written.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it is until you look at the email.

[Jade]

The email. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it was from Elvisfan.com and so I just sent it back. I couldn't resist. Instead of just hitting it spam and go, you know, delete and all this stuff, I just sent it back. Elvis fan, good luck with your con.

[Jade]

That's hilarious.

[Dave Ramsey]

And just sent it back and. But, yeah, but it is very well written.

[Jade]

Yeah. That was one of the best ones I've seen, I have to say. What gave it away? Yeah, the number. The email on the numbers. What gave it away?

[Dave Ramsey]

Phone number. Yeah, it was something. Something. [e-mail]. yeah. Help me. Help me, Lord.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Poor Elvis. He gets drug into everything he does. Maybe he's not really dead.

[Jade]

There's always a sighting.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's always a sighting. Kind of like Bigfoot.

[Jade]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And her boy and her boyfriend. Yeah.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Jade, that's a good catch.

[Jade]

Well, I didn't want to say it, but, man, I was thinking it.

[Dave Ramsey]

You got that. You completely nailed it.

[Jade]

I already felt bad because she was heartbroken. I didn't want to make it worse by letting her know it wasn't even a real guy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, man, I'm glad you did because it helped me because I'm so naive.

[Shelby]

How many.

[Dave Ramsey]

How many of you out there are naive, you know? My God, that's. Wow. Catfished for sure. Wow. Wow. You don't get that on other shows. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.