My Dad Keeps Falling For Scams, What Can I Do?

Summary

Episode Summary: "My Dad Keeps Falling For Scams, What Can I Do?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Ramsey Show Highlights
• Host/Author: Ramsey Network
• Description: The Ramsey Show Highlights delivers a quick, daily dose of life and money advice in under ten minutes. Featuring experts like Dave Ramsey, Ken Coleman, Rachel Cruze, Dr. John Delony, George Kamel, and Jade Warshaw, this show is part of the Ramsey Network and is available seven days a week.
• Episode: My Dad Keeps Falling For Scams, What Can I Do?
• Release Date: June 28, 2025

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1. Caller’s Situation

Sarah reaches out to the show seeking guidance on how to assist her father, who has fallen prey to multiple scams over the past five years. Sarah describes her father as a widowed, self-employed individual who was recently "pushed into retirement" due to the physical demands of his niche business becoming too strenuous at age 65.

“He hadn’t saved up a lot for retirement because growing up my mom was very sick with a very rare cancer. So a lot of the stuff that they were putting aside for their retirement ended up going toward her medical bills.”
— Sarah [00:46]

Sarah explains that her father's limited retirement savings were depleted by two major scams, which were essentially his last remaining nest egg. This financial strain has led him to seek alternative income sources, albeit unsuccessfully.

2. Discussion of Scams

Sarah elaborates on the nature of the scams her father encountered:

• Romance Scam: The first incident involved a romance scam, which Dave Ramsey immediately recognizes as a plausible concern.

  “That was my fear.”
  — Dave Ramsey [01:19]

• Cryptocurrency and Online Selling Scam: The second scam pertained to cryptocurrency investments and misguided ventures into selling products on Amazon. Sarah acknowledges her father’s intentions were to secure his financial independence and avoid being a burden to his children, though the methods were flawed.

  “He is trying to take care of himself and he doesn't want to be a burden to my siblings and I. You know, he's made that really clear and I think the effort was noble, although misguided.”
  — Sarah [01:21]

George Kamel adds depth to the discussion by highlighting the misexecution of her father's good intentions.

“The intention was good, but the execution was terrible.”
— George Kamel [01:51]

Sarah also shares personal observations of her father's uncharacteristic financial behaviors, such as purchasing Powerball tickets and struggling to afford a trip to visit his mother, which are unaligned with his usual financial prudence.

“This man has never gambled a day in his life. And recently I saw two Powerball tickets sitting on the table at his house... And now he's telling me like, he can't afford a two-hour trip... for Mother's Day.”
— Sarah [01:58]

3. Financial Assessment

Sarah provides a glimpse into her father's financial state, mentioning that the first scam resulted in a loss of approximately $80,000 to $90,000. To cover this, he took out a home equity line of credit (HELOC). However, details about the losses from the cryptocurrency scam remain unclear, as her father has been vague with her and her siblings.

“I do know that the first scam was to the tune of 80 or 90,000. And he's only really... He took a home equity line of credit out on his home to be able to pay that off.”
— Sarah [02:28]

4. Potential Solutions and Family Dynamics

Sarah discusses the potential of selling her father's house, which currently serves as her family's residence. The house, originally intended for flipping, has been repurposed due to the COVID-19 pandemic disrupting their housing situation. Selling the property could significantly reduce the HELOC, but uncertainties about additional debts remain.

“The sale of this house would knock out a good majority of the HELOC. But that doesn't take care of the unknown dollar amount of the rest of the debt that he's got going on for sure.”
— Sarah [04:09]

However, Sarah and her husband are hesitant to proceed with purchasing the house due to its poor condition and the less-than-ideal neighborhood, raising questions about the feasibility and wisdom of this solution for their future.

5. Advice from Dave Ramsey and George Kamel

Dave Ramsey and George Kamel provide comprehensive advice tailored to Sarah's predicament:

• Separation of Finances: Ramsey emphasizes the importance of keeping Sarah’s and her father’s financial situations separate to prevent entanglement. He suggests that unless her father is willing to take proactive measures, such as freezing his credit and eliminating access to vulnerable financial accounts, assisting him becomes exceedingly difficult.

  “Unless he's willing and open, it's going to be hard to help him. It's like trying to help a brick wall. You're not going to get very far.”
  — Dave Ramsey [07:47]

  “If he's willing to freeze his credit, cut up the cards, remove all these accounts, just remove anything in the path that could cause him to cause further damage would be what I would do for my own dad.”
  — Dave Ramsey [07:47]

• Emotional Support and Communication: Ramsey underscores the necessity of approaching the conversation without judgment, offering support rather than criticism to encourage her father to open up about his struggles.

  “If you can get him to open up and say, listen, dad, I'm not here to judge shame. We just want to help in any way we can right now.”
  — Dave Ramsey [08:29]

• Flexible Solutions: George advises Sarah to maintain her focus on her own financial goals, such as paying off debt by December, while also being prepared for potential changes in her family's financial dynamics due to her father's situation.

  “I kind of want to separate your dad's situation and you and your husband's. ... You have to make decisions based on that.”
  — George Kamel [06:01]

  George also suggests keeping open options regarding the house sale, while recognizing the emotional difficulty of managing her father's unasked-for needs.

6. Moving Forward

The conversation concludes with an acknowledgment of the emotional toll this situation takes on Sarah and her family. Both Ramsey and Kamel empathize with her distress over witnessing her father's financial missteps, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries to protect her own financial stability while remaining emotionally supportive.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Sarah [00:46]: “He hadn’t saved up a lot for retirement because growing up my mom was very sick with a very rare cancer. So a lot of the stuff that they were putting aside for their retirement ended up going toward her medical bills.”

• Dave Ramsey [01:19]: “That was my fear.”

• Sarah [01:21]: “He is trying to take care of himself and he doesn't want to be a burden to my siblings and I... the effort was noble, although misguided.”

• George Kamel [01:51]: “The intention was good, but the execution was terrible.”

• Dave Ramsey [07:47]: “Unless he's willing and open, it's going to be hard to help him. It's like trying to help a brick wall. You're not going to get very far.”

• Dave Ramsey [08:29]: “If you can get him to open up and say, listen, dad, I'm not here to judge shame. We just want to help in any way we can right now.”

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Conclusion: In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Sarah's heartfelt plea for assistance in helping her father navigate and recover from repeated financial scams is met with empathetic and practical advice from Dave Ramsey and George Kamel. The discussion underscores the challenges of supporting a loved one facing financial exploitation while maintaining one's own financial health and boundaries. Listeners are encouraged to approach similar situations with a blend of emotional support and strategic financial planning, ensuring both personal and familial well-being.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Sarah]

Hi, I'm calling more to see if I can get some help figuring out how to help my dad. He is widowed and he's been scammed a couple of times in the past five years and it's a decent amount of money that he's lost. From what he's told me, he was self employed in a pretty niche business and was recently pushed into retirement. The most recent scam.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you mean pushed into retirement?

[Sarah]

The physical labor of his job was just far too much for him to sustain at his age. He's 65.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Could he afford to retire?

[Sarah]

So the issue is he hadn't saved up a lot of retirement because growing up my mom was very sick with a very rare cancer. And so a lot of the stuff that they were putting aside for their retirement ended up going toward her medical bills. So a lot of what it seems like he's lost from both of these scams were the only nest eggs he kind of had left.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, it's awful. What kind of scams were these?

[Sarah]

The first, it sounds like it was a romance scam.

[Dave Ramsey]

That was my fear.

[Sarah]

Yeah. The other one was crypto. And to be really frank and really clear, I understand like the crypto and some of the stuff that he was trying to do. I think he also kind of got sucked into selling things on Amazon type scam because he is trying to take care of himself and he doesn't want to be a burden to my siblings and I. You know, he's made that really clear and I think the effort was noble, although misguided.

[George]

Right. The intention was good, but the. Yeah, the execution was terrible.

[Dave Ramsey]

He kept turning to the next scheme to get him out of whatever mess he was in.

[Sarah]

Yeah. You know, this man has never gambled a day in his life. And recently I saw two Powerball tickets sitting on the table at his house. And you know, he's also never carried credit card balances. And now he's telling me like, he can't afford a two hour trip, you know, down to see his mother for Mother's Day.

[George]

So do you have any idea of where he is financially at all, Sarah? Like, do you know what he does have?

[Sarah]

He's not letting a lot on to my siblings and I, which is making that a little bit harder. I do know that the first scam was to the tune of 80 or 90,000. And he's only really. He took a home equity line of credit out on his home to be able to Pay that off. And the next. The most recent crypto one. He's not giving our siblings a really clear answer on that. We. We've each heard him say different amounts.

[Dave Ramsey]

So is he asking for help? Hey, George here in the control booth. And I bet you're wondering what they're going to say next. Get out of debt. Sell the horse, yada, yada, yada. The advice may be predictable, but the Internet is anything but. You see, your personal info is out there, up for grabs by shady companies, ready to add more scam and SP spam to your life. And that's why I use Delete me. Deleteme will scrub your data from all of these sites so that you can focus on the Ramsey show instead of who's buying and selling your info. And Ramsey fans get 20% [e-mail] Ramsey or by using the link in the description below. So go take control of your privacy as soon as this call is over. Is he asking for help?

[Sarah]

He's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

How'd you find out about this?

[Sarah]

The very first one. And this happened, I want to say 2020. And I remember specifically because I knew where I was when he called me and told me what had happened. But the more recent one, he also called, but was really sheepish about letting on that there was a problem.

[George]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Sarah, the only solution.

[George]

Are you. Are you. Are you married?

[Sarah]

I am.

[George]

Okay. How are you and your husband financially? Where are you guys at?

[Sarah]

We're working on our baby steps.

[George]

Yeah. Yeah, it's great.

[Sarah]

We're working on paying off a little bit of credit card debt, and I think really have pretty minimal student loans because I work at a university, and most of my tuition has been free. Yeah, thank God. But.

[George]

And how old. How old are you guys? And how old is he?

[Sarah]

Dad is in his late 60s, and we are in our late 30s.

[George]

Okay.

[Sarah]

The only thing that I can think that would be the fastest way to help him out of it, which sort of puts my husband and I in a bit of a predicament, is we're currently living in a house that he owns that he bought with the intent to flip. Covid happened, and we moved into it because, you know, our housing got turned upside down, and we're paying him rent. But this would. The sale of this house would knock out a good majority of the heloc. But that doesn't take care of the unknown dollar amount of the rest of the debt that he's got going on for sure.

[George]

And has he approached you with that idea, or is it just you and your husband thinking through, like, gosh, this is an asset that dad has.

[Sarah]

And we've. Yeah, we've intended to buy this house from him. And getting it inspected and looking at a lot of the things. It's in pretty sore condition, and the neighborhood is not the absolute best. So thinking of our future and our.

[George]

Yeah. You may not want. Mm.

[Sarah]

Yeah, we don't want to. So it's sort of a. Yeah.

[George]

Do you. Do you guys. I'm just thinking out loud here. Do you know how fast you guys can get out of debt? Consumer debt, you and your husband?

[Sarah]

We are aiming for December of this year.

[George]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Well, you're really, really great.

[George]

Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. I. I don't know, George. I want to know your thoughts on this, but there's a part of me, Sarah, that he's not. I kind of want to separate your dad's situation and you and your husband's. You kind of have to make those two different ideas in your head. And I think you and your husband need to make decisions on what's best for you guys. And it sounds like it's not a great house. You're probably not going to buy it long term. You may even want to get out of it soon. I don't know. But whatever you guys need, you make decisions based on that. And then if he raises a flag and says, hey, as the landlord of this home, the owner of this home, I need the money, and so I have to sell this asset, and you all just have to be ready if that's ever the case. But. But this whole idea of, like, I feel like we need to do this for him when he's not asking. Right. It starts to tangle. Tangle the two families and two financial situations where I would want to keep them separate. And your heart is so great, Sarah. And I can. I can only imagine he's such a wonderful. He sounds like such a wonderful man. And you're like, how are you going down this road, dad? Like, you know better than this. Right. It's almost so sad as a daughter to watch your dad make these decisions. Right. And so you're just heartbroken for him. But also, it's hard because you can't help people who aren't asking for help either. So. So I understand that you guys see a way out for him to a degree, of this home and everything, and that's very generous, and maybe that's in your spirit, and you're like, hey, we do want to offer this as an idea to him. And if you want to do that, That's. That's great. But also, he's not raising his hand, you know what I mean? To do anything right now. So almost in one way, keeping the two situations separate in your mind, but knowing there's gonna be a crossover eventually because it's his house, his name's on.

[Dave Ramsey]

The deed, and unless he's willing and open, it's going to be hard to help him. It's like trying to help a brick wall. You're not going to get very far. So, I mean, if he's willing to freeze his credit, cut up the cards, remove all these accounts, just remove anything in the path that could cause him to cause further damage would be what I would do for my own dad.

[George]

Yeah. And if he called the show Sarah, and he was telling us this, we probably would say, sell the house and get your financial house. Right? I mean, that probably would be our advice to him. But he's not asking, do you know what I mean? Like, so. So it is hard to give advice or thoughts to someone that.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, he's probably feeling a lot of shame and guilt and doesn't want to drag you into it, is my guess.

[Sarah]

Oh, he is.

[Dave Ramsey]

But if you can get him to open up and say, listen, dad, I'm not here to judge shame. We just want to help in any way we can right now. We can't do that financially, but here's what we can do.

[George]

But in my conscience, I know this asset is here, and if you need to sell it. Right, but you could give it as an option, but give him the assets. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, it's awful, awful, awful. Create your free everydollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.