My Divorce Is Costing Me a Fortune ($200k and Counting)

Summary

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Episode Overview

Title: My Divorce Is Costing Me a Fortune ($200k and Counting)
Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Air Date: May 4, 2026
Main Theme:
A caller named Chris discusses his long, expensive divorce, which has dragged on for more than three years, consumed over $200,000, and left him in increasing debt. The Ramsey advisors (unidentified in the transcript but likely regulars such as George Kamel and Jade Warshaw) guide Chris through the financial and emotional fallout while challenging his ongoing commitment to litigation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Length and Cost of the Divorce (00:08–01:54)

• Chris shares he's been in a three-year divorce, burning through most assets and accruing major legal expenses, particularly due to a complicated division of private company shares.
  • “We had to do like long discovery process because they were unwilling to give the information. So I had to hire a forensic accountant. The accountant had to do a lot of digging and you know, it just cost me probably $200,000 now over those three years.”
    — Chris (00:29)
• Chris's Advisor 2 asks about affordability; Chris admits he's now accruing substantial credit card debt just to cover ongoing costs.
  • “I did [have the money]. Now I’m out. So I’ve been signing up for credit cards to pay for the attorneys and the accountant.”
    — Chris (01:08)
  • “About $30,000 now and counting. Because we're still not, we're still litigating.”
    — Chris (01:24)

The Litigation Gamble: Worth It or Not? (01:54–02:38)

• Advisor 2 challenges Chris to consider the possibility that the litigation continues for years—at immense cost and little payoff.
  • “At this point we’re gambling because if you lose this thing and you’re $200 grand in debt now, you’re screwed.”
    — Advisor 2 (02:25)
  • “Yeah, I’m kind of getting richer and poorer at the same time. So it’s a weird prediction.”
    — Chris (02:32)
• Chris explains that the company's private share price fluctuates, causing major changes in the marital asset value—fueling his desire to keep litigating.
  • “...the stock price goes up and we own about 300,000 shares in the company, which if it fluctuates a dollar, that's close to another half million a year... we're looking at $1.7 million difference from 2025 to 2026 in the value.”
    — Chris (01:54)

Mediation and the Relentless Process (02:38–04:27)

• The advisors urge mediation but Chris reveals they've tried three times already, without success. He implies his ex is stalling, leading to a war of attrition.
  • “I think she's just drawing that out so that she bleeds me basically...”
    — Chris (03:27)
  • “[It’s] worked, I guess, now you’re going into crippling debt. At some point you’re going to have to give up and wave the white flag while making lawyers really rich. You have funded some really nice lifestyle for some lawyers.”
    — Advisor 2 (04:02)
  • “Oh, for sure. I'm sure they're building pools in their backyard.”
    — Chris (04:15)
  • “At some point we just need to make this a peace treaty and cut our losses. Or take what you can get, come to a compromise.”
    — Advisor 2 (04:19)
  • “I don’t know how to do that.”
    — Chris (04:27)

The Share Division & Legal Deadlock (04:27–06:16)

• Chris explains the company has straightforward rules for dividing shares post-divorce, but legal processes—especially discovery—have dragged out the timeline.
  • “The company has a clause that clearly states how the shares get split in divorce and they write a check for whatever the court determined. So…it’s a simple process.”
    — Chris (04:38)
  • Advisors express confusion and frustration: “If it’s so clear in the bylaws of the company of what happens to the shares in the case of a divorce, how that’s not [been resolved].”
    — Advisor 1 (09:01)
• The next court milestone is not until September, and Chris’s lawyer expects continued delays and more costs.

Chris’s Financial Reality (06:16–07:30)

• Chris outlines his assets and income:
  • Two properties in the Carolinas—one burned down, worth $50,000 and $16,000 respectively.
  • He owns a company, with highly variable monthly income ($5,000–$30,000), averaging around $100,000 per year (medical equipment sector).

The Advisors' Tough Love: Sunk Costs, Setting Limits, and Moving On (07:30–09:42)

• Advisors urge Chris to set a personal limit for how much more time/money he’ll invest before walking away—citing the “sunk cost fallacy” and the similarity to gambling addiction thinking.
  • “I would cut my losses and go, you can rebuild a great life and build wealth from scratch. You’re a smart guy. You’ll get there. I also know that you could burn another $150 grand on the off chance you can make half million a year. I just don’t think the risk is worth it.”
    — Advisor 2 (07:30)
  • “This is the same part of your brain, like a gambling addict, where they just go, well, I just got to double down… this time's going to be different.”
    — Advisor 2 (08:53)
• The advisors recommend selling his properties to cover debt, and stress the need for a definitive exit from the cycle.
  • “…go ahead and just get rid of those properties, sell that, fund [the litigation], if you’re gonna keep fighting this… at least pay off some of this credit card debt.”
    — Advisor 1 (07:58–08:09)
• They empathize with disappointment about lost financial potential but urge Chris to grieve, accept, and move forward.
  • “That's not a battle for custody of your children. It's just about, I could have had a gigantic pile of money and I won't have that. Yeah, that sucks. I would grieve that. Move on.”
    — Advisor 2 (09:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Yeah, I'm kind of getting richer and poorer at the same time. So it's a weird prediction.” — Chris (02:32)
• “I think she's just drawing that out so that she bleeds me basically…” — Chris (03:27)
• “You have funded some really nice lifestyle for some lawyers.” — Advisor 2 (04:02)
• “At some point we just need to make this a peace treaty and cut our losses.” — Advisor 2 (04:19)
• “If it’s so clear in the bylaws... how that's not [done]? Maybe I’m being naive…I know every divorce is different...but how—it’s just not spelled out like that?” — Advisor 1 (09:01)
• “This is the same part of your brain, like a gambling addict, where they just go, well, I just got to double down. This time's going to be different. I'm going to get it this time.” — Advisor 2 (08:53)
• “That's not a battle for custody of your children. It's just about, I could have had a gigantic pile of money and I won't have that. Yeah, that sucks. I would grieve that. Move on.” — Advisor 2 (09:32)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:08: Chris introduces his divorce situation, costs, and asset depletion.
• 01:24: Chris reveals $30,000 in credit card debt.
• 01:54: Chris explains the stakes: value of company shares and litigation gamble.
• 03:15: Advisors inquire about mediation; Chris recounts failed attempts.
• 04:38: Explanation of company process for dividing shares; legal delays described.
• 06:27–07:30: Chris details asset situation (properties) and his fluctuating business income.
• 07:30–09:42: Advisors give tough advice on cutting losses, setting a deadline, and emotional closure.

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Summary & Takeaways

Chris’s story is a cautionary tale about the financial and emotional dangers of prolonged legal battles, especially when tied to unpredictable asset values and a combative ex. Despite the company’s clear process for splitting shares, discovery and legal posturing have made the process a costly, draining ordeal.

The Ramsey advisors push Chris to:

• Avoid letting “sunk cost” dictate his future decisions.
• Set clear financial and time limits for continuing the fight.
• Liquidate idle assets if necessary, but only if he insists on continuing.
• Recognize when it’s healthier to grieve the loss and move on, rather than doubling down in hopes of a big windfall.

The tone is empathetic but direct, urging listeners to guard against emotional and financial traps in high-stakes legal disputes and to prioritize financial peace and personal well-being over potential (but uncertain) gains.

Transcript

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[Chris]

well, I'm going through a now three year divorce and having a hard time financing the rest of the divorce. We've used up quite a bit of assets during that time.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

So you and your ex wife.

[Chris]

Yes. Yeah.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Why is it dragged out for three years?

[Chris]

Soon to be. She had a. She had a stakehold in her company that she works for. They have private shares. It's a private company. And so we had to do like long discovery process because they were unwilling to give the information. So I had to hire a forensic accountant. The accountant had to do a lot of digging and you know, it just cost me probably 200,000 now over those three years.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Did you have that money?

[Chris]

I did. Now I'm out. So I've been signing up for credit cards to pay for the attorneys and the accountant.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

How much credit card debt are you in?

[Chris]

About 30,000 now and counting. Because we're still not, we're still litigating.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

I mean, where's the end in sight here?

[Chris]

We were supposed to be done in February, but the stock price changes every March.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

So let's play this out. What if this is another two years and now you're $200,000 in debt? Was it worth this?

[Chris]

Yeah, because every year, and this is what I tried to talk to my ex wife about was every year the stock price goes up and we own about 300,000 shares in the company, which if it fluctuates a dollar, that's close to another half million share a year. Just if it's a dollar a share increase. So we're looking at 1.7 million difference from 2025 to 2026 in the value.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

But at this point we're gambling because if you lose this thing and you're 200 grand in debt now, you're screwed.

[Chris]

Yeah, I'm kind of getting richer and poorer at the same time. So it's a weird prediction.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Can you move this to mediation?

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[Chris's Advisor 2]

Can you move this to mediation?

[Chris]

We mediated three times now.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

And so I'm confused what the holdup is. What, why is this not. What else do you have to have for it to be final

[Chris]

for her to I guess, give up and face reality? You know, we've tried to mediate and we're so far off on the numbers that basically needs to go to trial. And the trial date just keeps on getting pushed off the docket and moved forward because of non cooperation on their side. We wanted to get it done, sent in offers, no counter offers were put in. So it's just drawn out. I think she's just drawing that out so that she bleeds me basically is

[Chris's Advisor 2]

what it's worked, I guess now you're going to crippling debt. At some point you're going to have to give up and wave the white flag while making lawyers really rich. You have funded some really a nice lifestyle for some lawyers.

[Chris]

Oh, for sure. I'm sure they're building pools in their backyard.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

I mean, at some point we just need to make this a peace treaty and cut our losses. Or take what you can get, come to a compromise.

[Chris]

I don't know how to do that.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Is it all or nothing for you? Like what is, let's say, what's a decent scenario that you get some of these shares?

[Chris]

Well, the company has a clause that clearly states how the shares get split in divorce and they write a check for whatever the court determined. So it's actually the company is very simple. It's a simple process.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

So then what's from the legal perspective? Why is it drug out if it's that simple of what you're saying? I don't understand why all the lawyers don't see that.

[Chris]

Yeah, it was discovery. Discovery was the longest part of the process and the forensic accounting part. And then so. But it costs money, you know, that cost money. I knew that it was going to be a she. We hit, we had separate assets and I hear it all the time with you guys.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Oh, we lost you. Chris.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Chris.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Okay.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Okay. Well, you said discovery was the longest. Is it over? Because you said you guys kind of found everything. But then the stocks changed over in March, so now we're in April. So what's your. What's your. What's your final? Because you don't want to live five more years like this, Chris.

[Chris]

No, we're looking at possibly. So my lawyer has told me that we have a meeting in May and then we determine what the next trial date is. And that's supposedly going to be September

[Chris's Advisor 2]

and they're gonna keep Working on this thing that whole time?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

So this could go a whole nother year before there's some resolution, which means you're another 100 grand in debt. Easily.

[Chris]

Yes, but I don't know how to get out of that. I mean, you're stuck in the process.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

What's your net worth today?

[Chris's Advisor 1]

How much do you have, Chris? I mean, house, your assets. Where are you at financially?

[Chris]

I still have two properties in the Carolinas that I own outright. One burned down. My wife filed for divorce in February of 23, and then the house burned down a week later up in the Carolina.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Okay, how much are those worth?

[Chris]

I believe 50,000. And then the other property is about 15, 16,000.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

What's your total net worth?

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Wait, a property? Is it just land?

[Chris]

I had a house. I had a house and I burned down. It got set on fire.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

So the land is only worth 15 grand.

[Chris]

50 grand for that land. And then the land across the street is about 16,000.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Okay, what's your income?

[Chris]

There was two properties. I have my own company. And it fluctuates. Like, last month I made like 30,000. This month I'll probably make like 5,000. So overall, what do you do about 100,000. I work on medical equipment.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

Okay, man. I personally, I know this is like your sunk cost fallacy. I would cut my losses and go, you can rebuild a great life and build wealth from scratch. You're a smart guy. You'll get there. I also know that you could burn another 150 grand on the off chance you can make half million a year. I just don't think the risk is worth it. And the stress, it's going to take years off your life to keep this battle up emotionally and mentally on top of financially of what it is.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Yeah. And I would. I would sell those properties. I wouldn't be a long while. I was gonna say landlord. I don't think there's any occupancy in this situation. So I'd go ahead and just get

[Chris's Advisor 2]

rid of those properties, sell that, fund it. If you're gonna keep fighting this.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Yeah, yeah. And that's 66 grand that you'll have to help at least pay off some of this credit card debt. And I think, Chris, you have to make a decision to say, okay, you know, whatever that breaking point is for you, we're never gonna tell you to continue to go into debt. So yourself, if you're choosing to kind of play that game, you at least, please, you at least need a point in your mind to say, if we get to X point on the calendar and nothing has moved or there's no set. There's nothing. Like, even if a trial date, you know, keeps moving out, like, you can't just live in the cycle forever and ever. Like George said, this is the same

[Chris's Advisor 2]

part of your brain, like a gambling addict, where they just go, well, I just got to double down. This time's going to be different. I'm going to get it this time.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Yes.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

I just don't think it's worth it when you're a smart guy making great money.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Well, and I'm very. And it's a little confusing if, if it's so clear in the bylaws of the company of what happens to the shares in the case of a divorce, how that's not.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

It would have happened by now.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Yeah. Maybe I'm being naive. Right. And again, I know every divorce is very different, every state is different, whatever. But how. It's just not spelled out like that. And then that's part of all the assets that are, you know, divvied up and everything. So my fear is that you've been in a three year roller coaster.

[Chris's Advisor 2]

That's not a battle for custody of your children. It's just about, I could have had a gigantic pile of money and I won't have that. Yeah, that sucks. I would grieve that. Move on.

[Chris's Advisor 1]

Absolutely. Oh, sorry, Chris. Hope that's helpful. It's probably not the advice you wanted, but sometimes it is just to. To cut the ties, just to get everything settled and be done and move on.

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