Summary of "My Ex Owes Me $35,000, How Do I Get My Money Back?" – The Ramsey Show Highlights

Release Date: July 24, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network

Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Lily seeks advice on recovering a substantial debt she incurred on behalf of her ex-boyfriend. The discussion revolves around the ethical and practical steps Lily can take to reclaim $35,000 she lent to her ex during their three-year relationship. Financial experts George and Dave Ramsey provide insights into managing such personal financial dilemmas.

Lily’s Situation

[00:06] Lily:
Lily explains her predicament: after dating her boyfriend for nearly three years, they have recently broken up. During the relationship, she took out a debt consolidation loan of $35,000 in her own name to help him manage his high-interest credit card debts. With her strong credit score (750), she secured a loan at a relatively low interest rate of 11.49%.

Key Points:

• Loan Details: $35,000 debt consolidation loan taken in Lily's name.
• Purpose: To pay off her ex-boyfriend's high-interest credit cards.
• Relationship Context: Second time Lily has financially supported him with the expectation of marriage.

Current Financial Arrangement

[00:41] George:
George clarifies the situation, confirming that Lily is solely responsible for the loan and that the relationship has ended.

[01:04] Lily:
She details that the remaining balance is approximately $30,000, accrued since October, with interest. Her ex has been making minimum payments of $912 each month.

[01:28] George:
George points out the inadequate repayment rate, highlighting that the minimum payments are insufficient for timely debt recovery.

[02:02] Dave:
Dave emphasizes the challenge by noting, "Two grand for 12 months is 24 grand. So it doesn't even get you to the balance." He underscores the disparity between the repayment amount and the total debt.

Key Points:

• Remaining Debt: ~$30,000 with interest.
• Monthly Payments: Approximately $912 (minimum payments).
• Repayment Timeline: Original plan is too slow; Lily desires repayment within a year.

Exploring Solutions

[02:21] George:
George raises the possibility of unethical methods humorously but focuses on the reality of the situation: since Lily is the one legally responsible for the debt, her options are limited.

[02:51] Lily:
She considers involving her ex’s family to hold him accountable or urging him to take out his own loan, but George expresses skepticism about this approach.

[03:27] Dave:
Dave suggests legal avenues, such as small claims court, as a potential method to recover the debt. However, he cautions that this can be time-consuming and uncertain.

[04:37] Lily:
Acknowledges the need to prioritize paying off the debt herself rather than relying on her ex’s repayments.

Key Points:

• Legal Recourse: Small claims court as a potential option.
• Family Involvement: Possible but unlikely to be effective.
• Ethical Considerations: Debate over morally appropriate actions versus legal obligations.

Financial Assessment and Recommendations

[04:15] George & Dave:
They conduct a financial review of Lily's situation:

• Monthly Income: Approximately $10,000 (post-tax).
• Monthly Expenses: Increased to ~$4,500 due to a rent hike.
• Debt Payment Plan: Advocates for pausing investments to focus on debt repayment.

[05:02] George:
George advises that, regardless of any personal agreements with her ex, Lily must prioritize paying off the debt herself. He emphasizes that her ex’s potential repayments are supplementary ("gravy") and not reliable.

[06:01] Dave:
Dave outlines that Lily could eliminate the debt within five to six months if she focuses her surplus income toward repayment. He also suggests finding a roommate to mitigate increased living expenses.

[07:15] George:
George offers personal advice, urging Lily not to repeat such financial entanglements in the future and commending her for her intelligence.

Notable Quotes:

• George [04:46]: "You have to fix this situation. That’s not the solution. Hopefully, this kid's got some character and he does what he says he's going to do."
• Dave [06:06]: "Here’s the good news. In about five or six months, this debt is gone."
• George [07:35]: "There's never a scenario by which you need to give somebody. Take a loan out for somebody. There's just not."

Conclusion and Final Advice

George and Dave converge on the following key takeaways for Lily:

1. Prioritize Debt Repayment: Lily should redirect her income towards paying off the $35,000 debt immediately, even if it means pausing other financial activities like investing.

2. Manage Expenses: With increased living costs, finding a roommate can alleviate financial pressure and accelerate debt repayment.

3. Legal Measures: While small claims court remains an option, it's not guaranteed and can be a lengthy process.

4. Future Financial Boundaries: Lily is advised to establish firm financial boundaries in personal relationships to prevent similar situations.

[07:30] Lily:
Lily reflects on the advice, recognizing the necessity to focus on her own financial stability rather than relying on her ex’s repayments.

[08:02] Lily:
Affirms her commitment to avoiding such financial entanglements in the future.

Final Takeaway: Lily is encouraged to concentrate on her controllable finances, eliminate the debt swiftly, and implement better financial safeguards in her personal relationships moving forward.

Key Insights

• Personal Responsibility: Taking on debt in another person's name can lead to significant financial strain and limited recovery options.

• Debt Management Prioritization: Addressing high-interest debts with personal funds should take precedence over investments to ensure financial stability.

• Legal Limitations: Personal loans, especially those not legally documented, offer limited legal recourse in debt recovery.

• Emotional vs. Financial Decisions: Emotional attachments can cloud financial judgment, leading to unfavorable financial commitments.

Conclusion

This episode underscores the complexities of intertwining personal relationships with financial obligations. The experts advocate for clear financial boundaries, personal accountability, and strategic debt management to navigate and rectify such challenging situations.