My Ex Scammed Me Out Of My Retirement Account

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: "My Ex Scammed Me Out Of My Retirement Account"
Date: February 19, 2026
Host(s): Dave Ramsey, George Kamel
Guest: Sabrina

This episode centers on Sabrina, a single mom whose ex-husband manipulated her into prematurely withdrawing $85,000 from her retirement account. Now at age 54, with a special needs teen to support and retirement savings wiped out, Sabrina seeks advice on rebuilding her financial future. Dave and George guide her through immediate debt payoff, future investing, and practical steps for long-term security.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sabrina’s Situation and Setback

• Sabrina explains her ex convinced her to cash out her retirement for speculative investments. The total withdrawal: $85,000.
• She suffered additional penalties for early withdrawal.
• She's now starting over financially at 54, supporting a special needs child, and trying to make wise moves going forward.
  [00:06] Sabrina: “I had a retirement and a home and got scammed out of my retirement from my ex...I pulled out 85k, which of course I had to pay a penalty. I’m 54 years old currently, and so now I’m basically starting from scratch.”

Current Assets, Debt, and Cash Flow

• After selling her home: Sabrina has $35,000 in a CD (maturing in March), $10,000 in a high-yield savings account, and $1,200 in another savings account.

• Debts: $6,500 credit card debt, $13,000 car loan (car worth $10,000, upside down), and $10,000 in attorney’s fees (partly for a special needs trust and court case).

• The car has high mileage (96,000 miles) and recently needed $8,500 in repairs.

  [01:41] Sabrina: “So $6,500 in credit card. My car, $13,000. It’s worth $10,000...And I’ve already, in the last year, I’ve dumped $8,500 in repairs.”

Immediate Steps: Paying Down Debt

• George and Dave agree: Use available cash to clear debts—wipe out credit card debt now, pay off the car as soon as the CD matures to eliminate the hefty $486/month payment.

  [02:13] Dave Ramsey: “If we could pay that off, that saves you $486 a month immediately, you would feel that, yes or no?”
  [02:46] Dave Ramsey: “Today you can knock out the credit cards with your high yield savings. And then as soon as it matures, I would use 13 grand of it and knock out the car.”

• Attorney’s fees: $5K toward a special needs trust and will (vital for her child's security), and $5K for ongoing litigation with her ex.

  [04:11] Sabrina: “5K for the attorney is for the court case that I had or have currently. And the other 5K was to hire a wills and trust attorney to set a trust and will because I need to protect my son.”

Life Insurance & Special Needs Planning

• Sabrina has a term life policy ($200,000, in place until 2031, costing $360/year). Dave underscores its importance for her child’s future, especially with special needs.

  [03:23] Dave Ramsey: “You’re going to need that money if something were to happen to you...you’re probably going to need a special needs trust.”

Creating a New Financial Chapter

• After paying off all debts, she’ll have roughly $15,000 left in cash. Dave encourages Sabrina to see this as a fresh start.

  [04:56] Dave Ramsey: “So why don’t we call this a new slate and say this is post ex Sabrina. She’s starting a new chapter...We’re gonna go into this thing completely debt free with $15,000 in the bank. You hear me?”

  [05:12] Sabrina: “Okay. Yes.”

• Next: Fully fund an emergency fund (three to six months of expenses, leaning toward six because of the special needs situation).

Retirement and Investment Strategy

• Annual income: About $80K (mix of W2 job and her own business).

• Investing: Begin allocating 15% of her income (around $1,000/month) once out of debt and with an emergency fund in place.

• Time horizon: Realistically, she may work until age 68–70, but consistent investing now can rebuild retirement.

  [06:31] Dave Ramsey: “You will be in baby step four...Maybe you want to add a little bit to it to get to three to six months of expenses. Maybe six months since you’re a single mom with a special needs kid. But 15%, that's 12 grand a year you would be investing...You could have over half a million dollars from 54 to 70 investing that grand into, you know, mutual funds inside of retirement accounts.”

Business Health and Growth

• George probes her business finances—she earns roughly $75K gross but only draws $20–30K personally, indicating the need for better bookkeeping and perhaps improved compensation as the business stabilizes.

  [07:49] George: “So is the business fairly healthy, though? What I’m saying is, is, is it mostly profit for you or is it running really tight?”

  [07:57] Sabrina: “It’s mostly profit for me because I don’t have overhead.”

• Sabrina is a professional home organizer. George and Dave encourage her to get a firm grasp on her business numbers and scale it further.

  [08:08] George: “You’re the professional organizer and you don’t have a grasp on your own numbers. Get yourself a good bookkeeper. I’m not chastising you, but I am saying you have it in you.”

Parting Encouragement

• Dave and George emphasize that while Sabrina’s losses were significant, her diligence and proactive mindset can steer her toward recovery and stable retirement. Growth in her business and disciplined investing are highlighted as key levers for catching up.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [00:06] Sabrina: “I pulled out 85k, which of course I had to pay a penalty. I’m 54 years old currently, and so now I’m basically starting from scratch.”
• [02:13] Dave Ramsey: “If we could pay that off, that saves you $486 a month immediately, you would feel that, yes or no?”
• [04:56] Dave Ramsey: “So why don’t we call this a new slate and say this is post ex Sabrina. She’s starting a new chapter...We’re gonna go into this thing completely debt free with $15,000 in the bank.”
• [06:31] Dave Ramsey: “...that’s 12 grand a year you would be investing. So we’re going to do $1000 bucks a month from 54. And likely...you’re going to have to work longer than you wanted to.”
• [08:08] George: “You’re the professional organizer and you don’t have a grasp on your own numbers. Get yourself a good bookkeeper. I’m not chastising you, but I am saying you have it in you.”
• [08:26] Dave Ramsey and George: Encourage scaling up her business and using tools and bookkeeping to harness her full potential.

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Discussion Timestamps

• 00:06: Sabrina’s story—how the scam happened
• 01:03: Current assets from house sale
• 01:39: Debt overview and car loan specifics
• 02:13: Recommendation to pay off car and credit cards
• 02:54: Discussion of attorney’s fees and special needs planning
• 03:23: Life insurance and need for a special needs trust
• 04:56: Resetting financial life: “post ex Sabrina”
• 05:13: Plan for debt-free living and emergency fund
• 06:31: Retirement strategy and likely timeline
• 07:15: Potential for rebuilding $500K+ by age 70
• 07:55: Deeper dive into her business’ financial health
• 08:08: Push to improve bookkeeping and grow the business
• 08:26: Closing encouragement and practical recommendations

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Final Takeaways

Despite devastating setbacks, Sabrina’s path forward is clear: pay off debts, build a strong emergency fund, resume investing, and leverage her business skills for future growth. With discipline and a renewed sense of purpose, the hosts emphasize she can rebuild and secure her—and her child’s—financial future.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Sabrina]

I'm a single mom. I had a retirement and a home and got scammed out of my retirement from my ex. He said he'd be in, I could make more money on investments and stocks. He was able to do that. And I pulled out 85k, which of course I had to pay a penalty. I'm 54 years old currently, and so now I'm basically starting from scratch. I have sold my home, so I have some money saved and I'm just trying to figure out where I need to go from here. I do have a special special needs child and I just want to make the right decisions going forward and really, you know, building for my retirement because I am, you know, 54.

[George]

How much do you have saved off of the sale of the home?

[Sabrina]

So I had to pay a lot of debt back because my ex was a squatter for a year and a half in the home. So 35,000 in a CD. So I dump that in a CD that matures in March. My high yield. I put 10,000 in a high yield savings account and then in another savings, it's $1,200. And then I have some debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much debt do you have left?

[Sabrina]

So 6,500 in credit card. My car, 13,000. It's worth 10,000. I got it during the pandemic, so it's a little upside down.

[George]

Before we go forward, what's the car payment on that?

[Sabrina]

486amonth? Yes.

[George]

Let's stop right there.

[Sabrina]

And it's 96,000 miles. And I've already, in the last year, I've dumped $8,500 in repairs.

[George]

Yeah, but I mean, that's, it's still. That's a car that, you know, I'm just, I'm going to jump in right there, George, because of the money she's gotten savings. If we could pay that off, that saves you $486 a month immediately, you would feel that, yes or no?

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[George]

Okay, Keep going on the debts. But I just wanted to jump in like that's a. That is low hanging fruit. Because you've got cash today to pay that off. George, you don't have any problem with that, do you?

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, this CD's maturing in March. So today you can knock out the credit cards with your high yield savings.

[Sabrina]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then as soon as it matures, I would use 13 grand of it and knock out the car. What else do you have?

[Sabrina]

I have an attorney's bill. For 10K.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Anything else?

[Sabrina]

Oh, I have a term life insurance that's. I only pay 360 a year. It ends in 2031 and it's for $200,000. So I didn't even know if I should even like stop that.

[Dave Ramsey]

But do you have any kids? You said you're a single mom.

[Sabrina]

I'm a single mom. Special needs child. Teenager. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're going to need that money if something were to happen to you. I mean, Even though it's 200k, that's still money that can be used to help take care of your child. And eventually you're probably going to need a special needs trust. You've worked too hard to get control of your money just to let strangers control your data. Every online sign up, discount code and free trial comes at a cost. Your information and delete me helps you take back control. Their privacy experts find your personal info on sketchy data broker sites. They delete it and they keep it gone, meaning you stay in charge of what's yours. So protect your privacy and get 20% off an annual [e-mail] slramsy that's join delete me dot com. Ramsey, you're probably going to need a special needs trust.

[Sabrina]

Well, that's part of the 10k.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

5k for the attorney is for the court case that I had or have currently. And the other 5k was to hire a wills and trust attorney to set a trust and will because I need to protect my son. And I just. That's priority for me right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

It should be. I love that you've got term life insurance, you've got a will and a trust. You're doing some good things here. And the good news is, do you have any other debt outside of that? I heard the three.

[Sabrina]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you've got 30K in debt and you've got $45,000 essentially liquid.

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Have you been debt free in your adult life

[Sabrina]

before? My ex, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

So why don't we call this a new slate and say this is post ex Sabrina. She's starting a new chapter. She's got a lot of life ahead of her. We're gonna go into this thing completely debt free with $15,000 in the bank. You hear me?

[Sabrina]

Okay. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now that we have a foundation now, we can begin investing for the future and rebuilding what we've lost. How sure are you that this, that money is gone? Did he spend it? What did he do with this money?

[Sabrina]

Well, I can't get that answer because I've tried. And as soon as I stood up to get an answer, it became from, oh, I went to stock. Oh, no, I went into a real estate investments. Now he's telling the attorneys that I agreed on putting it in a business and that business went defunct. I'm dumping money to get discovery and it's not happening. And I don't want to dump any more money on attorneys when I know

[Dave Ramsey]

I lost cause and this guy's a piece of work. Then I would move on and just start investing. With your current income, which how much are you making a year?

[Sabrina]

So I had to take up a W2 to stabilize in the last two years of this cases. So I make 50k gross with the W2 and then I have my own business that brings in 6.75k in gross, but I only pull about 20 to 30.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so we'll say you make 80 grand a year.

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you will be in baby step four, if you follow what we told you. Pay off the Debt, park the 15k, call that your emergency fund. Maybe you want to add a little bit to it to get to three to six months of expenses. Maybe six months since you're a single mom with a special needs kid. But 15%, that's 12 grand a year you would be investing. So we're going to do 1000 bucks a month from 54. And likely the truth is you're going to have to work longer than you wanted to.

[Sabrina]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

To maybe let's say 68 or 70. Is that fair?

[Sabrina]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you're starting with zero in retirement, correct?

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. You could have over half a million dollars from 54 to 70 investing that grand into, you know, mutual funds inside of retirement accounts.

[George]

Okay, I'd love to know more about the business. You said you're grossing 75. You're only taking out 20 to 30. Does that mean that you're stocking away what we would call retained earnings or that's all you have to be able to take out as a net?

[Sabrina]

Well, I, I'm a little funny on those numbers. Just, just so you know, because I'm new in the business. It's like my third year in the business.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

So I do, I do like owner draws that are not consistent.

[George]

Okay. So is the business fairly healthy, though? What I'm saying is, is, is it mostly profit for you or is it running really tight?

[Sabrina]

It's mostly profit for me because I don't have overhead.

[George]

What's the business? Tell me in five seconds what the businesses.

[Sabrina]

Professional home organizer. I help people declutter Isn't that fascinating?

[George]

You're the professional organizer and you don't have a grasp on your own numbers. Get yourself a good bookkeeper. I'm not chastising you, but I am saying you have it in you. You want to know those numbers Because I see a great path. The reason I'm asking these questions. As you grow that business, George, I see tremendous potential for you to grow.

[Dave Ramsey]

Scale that thing.

[George]

To scale it. Pay yourself more after you run through the advice George gave you. But this is an opportunity to play catch up. Get a good tax Pro. Go to ramseysolutions.com create your free every dollar budget today.

[Dave Ramsey]

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