Podcast Summary: “My Fiancé Is Asking For a Prenup”
The Ramsey Show Highlights – February 7, 2026
Host: Ramsey Network
Featuring: John, Ann (Caller), Marriage Counselor
Overview
This episode centers on Ann, a listener engaged for two years, whose fiancé is requesting a prenuptial agreement (prenup). Both have adult children, are self-employed, and own property, but have differing financial circumstances. The discussion explores financial transparency in relationships, motivations for prenups, challenges of blended families, and the importance of shared vision in marriage.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Ann’s Situation and Concerns
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Background: Ann’s fiancé suggested a prenup about a year into their engagement. Both have adult children and own property separately.
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Assets Overview:
- Ann: No debt, owns her home outright, net worth ~$550k-$600k, open about her finances.
- Fiancé: Mortgage and other unknown debt, property worth ~$715k (owes $280k). Limited transparency with Ann.
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Key Issues:
- Financial openness is lacking from her fiancé.
- She’s unsure how to combine lives while keeping assets separate.
- She wants to plan a shared future focused on wealth-building.
“I'm really open about... just everything, my finances... but I almost feel like he's waiting to disclose all that when it comes time to put together the prenup.” – Ann [02:13]
2. The Prenup Debate
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State Law vs. Personalized Agreement:
- Marriage Counselor notes everyone has a prenup by default—the state’s divorce laws. A written prenup is a way to define their own terms.
- John and Marriage Counselor are not firmly for or against prenups but acknowledge their utility in second marriages with adult children and assets.
“Every married couple has a prenup, and it is whatever the state you live in says... unless y’all sit down and write out... what would happen if—” – Marriage Counselor [02:33]
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Caveats:
- Prenups should not be used to keep secrets or foster lifelong division.
- The real utility now: making sure adult children are protected in inheritance scenarios.
“A prenup is not a cover for division. Right. It's just a plan.” – Marriage Counselor [04:20]
3. Transparency and Trust Red Flags
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Unequal Disclosure:
- Ann is very open; her fiancé is not.
- Before signing a prenup, both parties need complete financial transparency.
“You don't know him fully and you're engaged... That does worry me.” – John [06:32]
- Ann worries about being too nosy if she asks for details, but the hosts stress it’s basic marital due diligence.
“You're about to become his wife. What if he owes $20 million in back taxes and debt? Right? You want to know.” – Marriage Counselor [07:26]
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Encouragement to Self-Advocate:
- Ann is commended for her kindness but urged to stand up for her own interests and push into hard conversations for the health of the relationship.
- Suppressing concerns for the sake of peace is discouraged.
“You need to have the strength to push into areas of this marriage that are uncomfortable in order for this marriage to thrive.” – John [07:37]
4. Disagreement Over Housing and Future Vision
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The Housing Stand-Off:
- Ann’s fiancé refuses to move from the home he shared with his ex-wife, despite her offers to build or move elsewhere.
- She proposes selling her property to pay off his mortgage, but he declines; wants his house to go to his daughters.
“He has said he... doesn't want to move from the home that he shared with his previous wife, even after I suggest that we build a home together.” – Ann [08:22]
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Implications:
- Selling Ann’s asset to pay his mortgage would, under the proposed prenup, mean she could lose everything if the relationship ends.
- There’s an ongoing pattern of Ann sacrificing or bending for his decisions, risking her own security and values.
“That would mess up the prenup. That's you putting your assets into the asset that he's then going to give his kids, and you're not getting any part of that.” – John [09:30]
5. Potential Incompatibility in Marital Expectations
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Analyzing Intentions:
- Marriage Counselor wonders if the fiancé wants to be married, noting a tendency to keep firm boundaries rather than compromise.
“I hear a guy that likes you... but I don't see a guy who wants to get married.” – Marriage Counselor [09:47]
- Ann says he insists he wants to get married, but their pictures of what marriage means are clearly divergent.
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Advice:
- Both need to explicitly define and share what "marriage" looks like to them, including views on money, intimacy, inheritance, and lifestyle.
- If expectations differ too greatly, it may be necessary to walk away.
“The kindest thing y'all could do for each other is to... in exquisite detail... detail out what your picture of marriage looks like.” – Marriage Counselor [10:11]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On the need for transparency:
“You’re about to be his wife… What if he owes $20 million in back taxes and debt? Right? You want to know.”
– Marriage Counselor [07:26] -
On the danger of silence:
“It’s not sweeping things under the rug. And you’ve already begun that habit. And that’s not a great setup.”
– John [07:54] -
On defining shared vision:
“You both have different pictures of what this thing looks like.”
– Marriage Counselor [11:03] -
On self-worth and boundaries:
“I want you to have the courage… to write down, here’s what I really want, here’s what I really believe, and have the courage to share that with him… and you’re worth that risk.”
– Marriage Counselor [12:34]
Important Segment Timestamps
- [01:05] – Ann describes her and her fiancé’s assets and financial situations
- [02:13] – Conversation about disclosure and transparency ahead of any prenup
- [03:35] – Discussion of prenup’s real function in blended families
- [06:51] – Flags raised about the lack of full disclosure and representation in prenup talks
- [08:22] – Ann brings up his refusal to move house or combine their assets
- [09:47] – Analysis of relationship dynamics and possible incompatibility
- [10:11] – Call for both parties to explicitly define their visions of marriage
Conclusion & Recommendations
The episode concludes with strong encouragement for Ann (and anyone in a similar situation) to seek clarity, transparency, and alignment in values before entering marriage—especially when money, property, and children from previous relationships are at stake. The underlying message: Sacrificing one’s boundaries or suppressing discomfort for peace in the relationship often leads to bigger problems later.
Clear communication and mutual understanding are non-negotiable foundation stones for a healthy marriage, particularly in complex second-marriage situations.