My Friends Are Stupid With Money And It Drives Me Crazy

Summary

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The Ramsey Show Highlights:

“My Friends Are Stupid With Money And It Drives Me Crazy”
November 11, 2025 – Ramsey Network

Episode Overview

In this episode, co-hosts Rachel Cruze (C) and George Kamel (D) answer a call from Sarah (B), a single mom and house cleaner who shares her frustrations about a close friend’s reckless financial habits. The discussion evolves from venting about a friend's choices to thoughtful advice on boundaries, comparison, and maintaining friendship when values clash.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Frustration with a Friend’s Financial Choices

• Sarah’s Story:

  • Sarah is new to the Ramsey plan, has an emergency fund, is paying off debt, and is committed to living within her means.

  • Her friend claims to follow the Ramsey principles but demonstrates very different behavior, including purchasing expensive vehicles on credit and refusing to pay off her mortgage for dubious tax reasons.

  • Sarah admits she’s bothered by her friend’s "flashy" lifestyle and feels their spending is irresponsible.

    “I literally was like, you all could have paid off half of your mortgage for what you just spent on this car.” — Sarah (00:52)
    “She says, well, I get too many tax deductions from having a house. I don't want to pay off mortgage.” — Sarah (00:59)

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2. Advice on Mindset and Boundaries

• Focus on Your Own Journey:

  • George uses a parenting analogy to illustrate the need for personal responsibility instead of constant comparison.

  • Rachel and George stress that it’s not Sarah’s role to police her friend’s choices.

    “Just mind your business and pay off your debt... you don’t have to worry about that.” — George (02:17)

  • Rachel provides a more gentle, Southern-style answer for dealing with uncomfortable conversations:

    “Just smile that sweet Kentucky Southern passive aggressive smile, nod, bless your heart…” — Rachel (02:40)

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3. Friendship Tension from Growth and Value Shifts

• Drifting Apart is Natural:

  • Rachel recognizes Sarah’s discomfort with her friend's choices. She normalizes the tension that occurs when personal values change, such as shifting to a debt-free mindset.

  • Both hosts affirm it’s common to feel a disconnect from friends who don’t share new values, but say that doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

    “When you shift your mind and you change your mind, you do start to want to gravitate towards people that are like minded.” — Rachel (02:57)

• No Need to Cut Friends Over Money:

  • Rachel is clear that you don’t have to end friendships with people who don’t follow the same money plan.
  • She notes, “If we lived by that, we would have probably... I'd have no friends.” — George (03:19)

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4. The Real Issue: Comparison and Judgement

• Reflecting on Our Own Bias:

  • George gently confronts Sarah about the judgment creeping into her perspective.

    “There's certain things, Sarah, that you're saying that actually sound a little bit like you're kind of hating on him a little bit.” — George (04:30)

  • Rachel adds personal insight on how comparison can be sneaky and self-defeating, recounting her own experience assuming others were using credit cards for lavish travel:

    “In the comparison world, we wanna blame social media, we wanna blame the neighbor... But to be honest, it ends up being more of our issue. And so...where can you get to a point, Sarah, that... you are confident in who you are...” — Rachel (06:38–07:32)

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5. Moving Forward: Confidence, Kindness, and Boundaries

• Letting Go of Unhealthy Comparison:

  • The hosts emphasize becoming confident in your own financial choices so that others’ lifestyles don’t bother you.

    “The amount of energy and effort that she's in your brain right now, like the rent-free space that she has in your brain, Sarah, it's not worth it.” — Rachel (07:32)

• Navigating Difficult Friendships:

  • Rachel suggests that some people are just hard to be friends with, and that’s okay.

  • It’s acceptable to limit your emotional investment and set boundaries if a relationship is draining or misaligned.

    “It's okay to have boundaries, Sarah. If you need to put up relational boundaries with her, that's okay, too.” — Rachel (08:55)

• Grace and Friendship:

  • Through it all, the hosts urge listeners to extend grace and kindness, even when differences arise.

    “Let's let the fruit of our faith live out and love people well, even though some people are hard to love…” — Rachel (08:30)

    “As my dad says, some children of God are stupid children, right?” — Rachel (08:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mind-Your-Own-Business:

  “Mind your own business and pay off your debt.” — George (02:17)

• On Comparison:

  “I shouldn't know. It's none of my business. And actually the problem is not them, it was me.” — Rachel (06:51)

• On Setting Healthy Boundaries:

  “It's okay to have boundaries, Sarah.” — Rachel (08:55)

• On Difficult People:

  “Some children of God are stupid children, right?” — Rachel (08:39)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:06–01:12: Sarah describes her friend’s big spending and non-Ramsey choices
• 01:41–02:40: Advice on focusing on your own journey and not others'
• 02:57–03:19: Rachel and George discuss the natural drift when values change
• 04:30–05:42: George gently challenges Sarah’s underlying judgment
• 06:38–07:32: Rachel on the pitfalls of comparison and reclaiming mental space
• 08:13–08:55: The importance of boundaries and loving difficult people

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This episode offers both practical and emotional advice for anyone struggling with envy or judgment about other people’s financial choices, especially when close relationships are involved. The tone is warm, honest, gently challenging, and distinctly Ramsey in encouraging both responsibility and grace.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

So my best friend claims to essentially live by the Ramsey method, but nothing they do is like, Ramsey approved, I guess you could say.

[C]

Oh, no. What are they, what do they do, Sarah?

[B]

Well, okay, so since I've been friends with her, which was starting at the beginning of the year, like they have owned like four or five different vehicles. Like they're constantly buying and trading and, and they claim they make money off of these vehicles. And I'm thinking like buying a ninety thousand dollar vehicle to make four grand doesn't make sense.

[C]

Well, are they paying cash for it?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay, why does it.

[D]

What do you. What do you care?

[B]

Because it kind of drives me crazy, so. Because I know like, what they're doing. Like, they just went out and bought $120,000 Escalade. And I literally was like, you all could have paid off half of your mortgage for what you just spent on this car. She says, well, I get too many tax deductions from having a house. I don't want to pay off mortgage.

[D]

So she doesn't follow the Ramsey plan. But you do.

[B]

Yes, I have. Yes. I've started listening to you all in the last few months. I've just got my thousand dollars saved up and now working towards. I've got like $3,000 of debt. So. So I'm working on that. But yeah, I, I listen to you guys every single day. I clean houses for a living and I'm a single mom, so I have nothing but time on my hands.

[C]

Sarah, you're amazing. Okay, so how can we, how can we help you?

[D]

I'm gonna help. I'll help you right now.

[C]

What's your. What's. What's the what? Yeah, how. What can we do for you today?

[B]

I struggle being their friends because of the lifestyle that they live.

[C]

There you go, Sarah.

[D]

I'm gonna tell you what I tell my son all the time, okay? So I can tell my son, prince, go upstairs and brush your teeth. And the minute I say that, he's like, well, ZZ didn't brush her teeth. And he's always looking over at what she's. Because I've given him a responsibility, and he wants to make sure that the other person has to do their responsibility as well. And I told him the other day, I said, you want to know what you need to do, Prince?

[C]

Just mind your business, take care of yourself.

[D]

Take care of yourself and mind your own business. And I, you know, she'll get dealt with the. Don't Worry about that. I'm looking and I see what she's doing over here. You don't have to worry about that. Just mind your own business and go brush your teeth. And I would tell you the same thing, Sarah. Mind your own business and pay off your debt. And if she's your friend and she's like, well, I'm doing the baby steps too. All you have to do is say no, you're not.

[C]

Or just smile and just smile that sweet Kentucky Southern passive aggressive to smile, nod, bless your heart, it's all you need to do. You just look at her and smile.

[B]

Stresses me so bad.

[C]

Okay, okay. But you're, but it's not your bills. You know what I mean?

[B]

I know.

[C]

Now, Sarah, I will say, I will say there, there, there is. And I don't want this to sound isolating this comment, but just the idea of when you shift your mind and you change your mind, you do start to want to gravitate towards people that are like minded.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

And so there may be a point. And I'm not saying you can't be friends with people in debt. Okay, my friend. I mean like if we lived by that, we would have probably.

[D]

No, I'd have no friends. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So it's not even that. It's not an isolating comment, but I think it's good self awareness to say, wow, I have changed the way I'm viewing this part of my life and people that are not congruent with it. I can feel this like tension point and man, it kind of sucks that I feel like I'm like you know, growing in this area and other people aren't. And you're going to probably feel that tension and over time does that naturally maybe you know, start to separate you guys? I don't know. Maybe. Sarah, I have no idea.

[B]

I mean we go to church together and everything. I feel like there's no getting away from her. I'll just be honest.

[D]

Well, do you want to get away from them for other reasons too? It sounds like maybe you do.

[C]

She like just not a fun person because. Yeah, if that's the case.

[B]

Well, no, I mean we have a good time together, but like she does not work or anything. Like she has a little boutique she's been running on the side and she claims to make like 10 or 15 grand a month off of this business.

[D]

What's wrong with that?

[B]

And I know that. What do you mean what's wrong with it?

[D]

What can I tell you? I'm your buddy right now. I'M I'm gonna be your. Your.

[B]

Y' all aren't gonna offend me, okay? I want y' all to be open.

[D]

I think there's certain things that I'm tracking with you where I'm like, yeah, that could be a little bit annoying or, you know, yeah, she's wrong. But there's certain things, Sarah, that you're saying that actually sound a little bit like you're kind of hating on him a little bit.

[B]

I just. She's not considerate of, like, my life, if that makes sense. Like, she has nothing to do. She doesn't have a job or anything.

[D]

But you said she runs a boutique. Her life is different from yours. And Sarah, she might, but she doesn't.

[B]

Like, she only does event.

[D]

That's okay. Sarah, she could do less. She could be putting in less hours than you and making more money. Money than you, and you cannot hate on her for that. And, Sarah, her and her husband can buy whatever cars they want. They can. And I get it that you don't like it, but that doesn't affect you, and you're letting it get too much in your life. And as much as you think that she's not being a good friend right now, you're also not being that great of a friend because you're hating on her a little bit. And this is just be me being a good friend to you.

[B]

I don't. I don't want to feel like I'm. I don't want it to seem like I'm hating on them. It's just I know the lifestyle they live, and she, like. And she's. Well, we live a normal life, and I'm just like, no, you don't, though. Like, I just. We've only been friends for, like, nine months, so, I mean, it's. This is all kind of really new for me.

[D]

And, yeah, I think you. Here's what I think. I think you're a really hard worker, and I think you know how to grind, and I think you know how to. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You're willing to put in lots of work. You. You understand struggle. You. You're ready to get in the ring all the time. I can sense that about you, and I think it's irking you that somebody is acting like they're working as hard as you when you're like, no, you're not. And I get that.

[B]

She does. She does. And my friend Amanda from church, she's like, it's all about perspective with the work, and I get that. I do.

[C]

Well. And Sarah, so I think, and I've had to do this for myself throughout the years too, because when you're comparing your life to someone else, I wanted to blame the other person. And I even in my head would sometimes be like, I bet they're on this trip to Europe on credit cards and I bet they can't even afford. Here I am and I have to wait another six months. So we go on a trip, you know, I mean, you make up a story about someone and I had to finally tell myself, Rachel, you don't know. You don't know how hard they work. You don't know how much money they actually make. You don't, you don't know. You don't know. And I shouldn't know. It's none of my business. And actually the problem is not them, it was me. It's me. In the comparison world, we wanna blame social media, we wanna blame the neighbor, we wanna blame everyone else. But to be honest, it ends up being more of our issue. And so we. Where can you get to a point, Sarah, that number one, you are confident in who you are and the choices you're making around money and your lifestyle, that when other people come up and that their lifestyle looks so different than you and, or you know, you have thoughts about it. If you get, could get to the point where you just think honestly, like, you know, good, good for y', all, great job. Okay? And I get to move on because the amount of energy and effort that she's in your brain right now, like the rent free space that she has in your brain, Sarah, it's not worth it. Now the friendship element, if Dr. John Zaloney was sitting here, we could have a relational conversation of hey, she may not be somebody that you guys share similar values and I'm probably not kept.

[B]

A lot of friends throughout. Like she's not been able to ever keep friends for long term.

[C]

And that's great to know. Then I would put that in your data, in your head of, okay, she may be a, she may be a hard person to love and be in relationship with and that's okay. But we can be kind, we can be curious and not judgmental and y' all go to church. Sarah, let's, let's bring some of this peace and patience and kindness and goodness. Let's let the fruit of our faith live out and love people well, even though some people are hard to love and as, as my dad says, some children of God are stupid children, right?

[D]

Like there are some.

[C]

But I think we can say it all, but have a level of grace for her and yourself. And it's okay to have boundaries, Sarah. If you need to put up relational boundaries with her, that's okay, too.

[A]

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