My Girlfriend Has a Boat in Her Trust Fund

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights Episode: My Girlfriend Has a Boat in Her Trust Fund
Release Date: May 22, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Duration: Approximately 8 minutes

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, hosted by the Ramsey Network, Jacob reaches out for advice as he prepares to propose to his girlfriend. His central concern revolves around her family's substantial trust fund and how it might impact their future marriage. The discussion primarily features Jacob's query, insights from co-host Chris, and guidance from Dave Ramsey.

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Caller’s Dilemma: Navigating Financial Differences Before Marriage

Timestamp: [00:06] - [02:00]

Jacob shares his excitement about proposing to his girlfriend but expresses anxiety over her father's established trust fund. Coming from a middle to upper-middle-class background, Jacob fears that the disparity in financial standing could become a source of tension in their marriage. He seeks advice on structuring their financial future to prevent potential conflicts.

Key Points:

• Proposal Preparations: Jacob has purchased the engagement ring and is planning the perfect moment to propose.
• Financial Disparity: Her father has set up a trust fund that includes significant assets like real estate and a sailboat.
• Concern: Jacob is apprehensive about how this financial difference might affect their relationship.

Notable Quote:

"Her father is very successful and has set up a trust fund for her. I just don't want this to be a point of contention in our marriage going forward."
— Jacob [00:06]

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Addressing Insecurities and Comparisons

Timestamp: [00:39] - [01:49]

Chris responds by highlighting Jacob’s intimidation and tendency to compare himself to his girlfriend’s father. He emphasizes the importance of Jacob focusing on his relationship rather than the financial backdrop.

Key Points:

• Self-Intimidation: Jacob feels overshadowed by his girlfriend's father's success.
• Comparison Trap: Chris points out that comparing himself to her father is undermining his confidence.
• Trust Issues: Jacob acknowledges bringing personal insecurities into the discussion, which could jeopardize the relationship.

Notable Quote:

"You're comparing yourself to her dad?"
— Chris [00:48]

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Understanding the Trust Fund’s Structure

Timestamp: [02:00] - [04:34]

Dave Ramsey delves into the specifics of the trust fund to better understand its implications. He inquires about the assets within the trust, the age at which it becomes accessible, and how it is divided between Jacob’s girlfriend and her brother.

Key Points:

• Assets Included: The trust comprises three houses and a Morris sailboat located in Maine.
• Access to Funds: The trust becomes fully accessible to her at age 35; currently, she is 26 and has no annual income from the trust.
• Future Control: Upon gaining access, the funds will be available to both her and her brother, potentially allowing them to liquidate assets and convert them into cash for the couple.

Notable Quote:

"And then when it does exist and she gets access to it, it'll be to her and her brother, and her portion can be sold off and put cash in the hand of the couple."
— Dave Ramsey [04:34]

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Strategizing Financial Integration and Communication

Timestamp: [04:34] - [06:44]

Dave and Chris provide actionable advice on how Jacob can approach the integration of the trust fund into his and his future wife’s financial plans. They emphasize the importance of open communication with both his partner and her father to ensure alignment and mutual understanding.

Key Points:

• Long-Term Planning: With a decade before access to the trust, Jacob and his partner have ample time to plan and align their financial goals.
• Joint Decision-Making: Emphasis on making financial decisions together, similar to other significant life choices.
• Engaging Her Father: Dave suggests having a candid conversation with her father to understand his vision for the trust and how Jacob can contribute to it.
• Building Trust: Chris highlights the importance of being honest about one’s financial knowledge and willingness to learn, fostering trust between all parties involved.

Notable Quotes:

"I want to be part of your dream for your daughter. And so tell me how you want this trust thing to unfold and what your vision for it was, and I just want to be aligned on it."
— Dave Ramsey [06:00]

"Being able to say that and put that on the table, man, that clears the air and actually brings you closer together."
— Chris [07:00]

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Humorous Interlude and Closing Advice

Timestamp: [06:44] - [08:02]

The conversation takes a lighter turn as Chris and Dave share humorous anecdotes about animal phobias, illustrating the importance of vulnerability and openness in relationships. Dave wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to utilize tools like the EveryDollar app for budgeting and financial planning.

Key Points:

• Personal Anecdotes: Sharing fears and vulnerabilities can strengthen relationships.
• Budgeting Tools: Promotion of the EveryDollar app as a resource for effective financial management.

Notable Quotes:

"You got a cow phobia."
— Dave Ramsey [07:45]

"Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life."
— Dave Ramsey [08:02]

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Conclusions and Takeaways

Jacob's situation underscores the complexities that can arise when significant financial differences exist in a relationship. The episode highlights the importance of:

1. Self-Confidence: Avoiding comparisons and recognizing one's own value within the relationship.
2. Open Communication: Engaging in honest discussions about financial expectations and future plans with both partners and their families.
3. Long-Term Planning: Proactively addressing financial integration well before trust funds or other significant assets become accessible.
4. Leveraging Resources: Utilizing budgeting tools and seeking professional advice to navigate financial landscapes effectively.

By addressing these areas, Jacob can strengthen his relationship and ensure a harmonious financial future with his soon-to-be spouse.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Jacob]

I am weeks away from proposing to my girlfriend. Bought the ring and everything, and just trying to find the right time. But my question is. So her father is very successful and has set up a trust fund for her. And, you know, my parents are, you know, middle class, upper middle class, and I just don't want this to be a point of contention in our marriage going forward. And I just wondered if you had any advice on how kind of we structure our financial future going forward.

[Chris]

You're already intimidated by it. How come?

[Jacob]

Very much so. Why? Well, no, I mean, he's just. He's. He's in a very intelligent.

[Chris]

No, forget all that. Forget all that. You're comparing yourself to her dad?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Chris]

You mentioned his money. Now you're mentioning his brain. Is. Is she bringing this up and kind of. Kind of using it to dangle over your head? Like, why. Why are you walking into this marriage feeling insecure?

[Jacob]

She's not bringing it up necessarily.

[Chris]

So is this your baggage that you're bringing me?

[Jacob]

Yes, sir. For sure.

[Chris]

Is she gonna say yes when you ask her to marry you?

[Jacob]

Yes, sir.

[Chris]

Does she lie to you?

[Jacob]

No. No.

[Chris]

She tells you the truth.

[Jacob]

Always? Yeah.

[Chris]

Okay, then you're gonna have to commit to practicing trusting her. Otherwise you're going to sabotage and burn this whole thing to the ground. Not because it's not. Doesn't have the potential to be incredible and amazing and awesome. You guys are going to be on some good footing. If you were. If you were calling a show and saying, hey, I'm about to marry this girl. She's got this trust fund that she said I could never spend one penny of, even though I'm her husband. Dave and I would tell you to run.

[Jacob]

Right? She hasn't said that. But I just wondering in the future if that issue comes up where I think that this is what we should do with this money that we've been blessed with. And then.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so, you know, how is the trust. Let me ask you this. How much is in the trust fund?

[Jacob]

I don't know the cash value, but there's three houses and a boat, and there's a few different things.

[Dave Ramsey]

A boat?

[Jacob]

It's a sailboat. It's a Morris sailboat that they have up in Maine. They're house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why is it in their daughter's name?

[Jacob]

They put it in the trust for her and her brother.

[Chris]

What about Bob? I'm sailing. Here's the thing, dude.

[Jacob]

You're.

[Chris]

You're going to have you're going to have. Forget the trust for a second. That's too heavy and complicated. You're going to have ideas about what dog to buy. You're going to have disagreements on what color couch to buy. You're going to have disagreements on what schools you want your kids to go to. So this needs to be. You'll need to have discussions before you get married about how are we going to solve problems when I'm bringing this. This idea to the table. And you're bringing that idea to the table, and this is a big one. No question about it. You're talking about millions and millions of dollars, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, not necessarily. So what is the. I mean, maybe. Maybe a million dollars, but the three houses. But it sounds like it's also split with her brother.

[Jacob]

Yes, sir. Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what is. What does she receive from the trust annually? Anything?

[Jacob]

Not until she turns 35. Until she gets full access to the trust.

[Dave Ramsey]

And she's how old?

[Jacob]

She's 26.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you've got 10 years to act like this thing doesn't exist.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And then when it does exist and she gets access to it, it'll be to her and her brother, and her portion can be sold off and put cash in the hand of the couple. You and her. Right?

[Jacob]

Correct. Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

I want to verify all that with her and even with her dad. And just go. Because I want to make sure that we live out what it was you all were trying to accomplish here together. But I'm sure you were, you know, building out her future gang here. And so. So I want to be, obviously going to be part of that future. So then you start talking to her about, okay, when you turn 35, this is going to be our money, and we are going to make these decisions together. Just like we make decisions about kids and we make decisions about house, and we make decisions about what dog to buy and so on. Right?

[Chris]

Yeah. So, Dave. I want to ask Dave a question, Jacob, on your behalf, because I'm. I'm curious, too. So, Dave, imagine Winston, before he married Rachel, sits down and says, hey, Dave, I know you've got some financial security. I want to go ahead and get on the table now. What it's going to be like married to. That feels like that would be awkward. Or that if I'm you, I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I mean, hey, Dave, what am I signing up for here?

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is Winston saying that? And. And, you know, hey, Dave, what. You know what. What are your intentions? I want to. I want to graft into this family. I don't want to be on the outside, and I also don't want to be on the inside throwing grenades. There you go. So I, I, I want to participate and be aligned with what the goals are here. So I need to understand them.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And because I'm going to be part of it if I'm going to be here, and that's not belligerent.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And of course, you know, I'm like, yeah, she's now your problem, you know? So that was my answer to Winston, Winston, I hope you can solve drama.

[Chris]

So I'm writing a check by, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

But I mean, that's, yeah. So I think it's a valid conversation, and it's a manly conversation for you to have, not only with your future fiance, but you might even talk about that when you ask her dad for his blessing, if you haven't already.

[Jacob]

I have, but I guess that can be a conversation I have with him in the future.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you could just swing back by and say, hey, I want to have a cup of coffee, and I'm learning about this, and I, I want to be part of your dream for your daughter. And so tell me how you want this trust thing to unfold and what your vision for it was, and I just want to be aligned on it. And you know how?

[Chris]

I would probably ask it, Dave, tell me if this sounds right, Jacob. I would probably sit down with him and say, I don't come from a whole lot, and I don't know how to do this. I would love for you to teach me over the next four or five, 10 years, like, walk alongside me as I learn how to be a good steward of this.

[Jacob]

I think that's a good idea.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's hugely honoring.

[Chris]

Yeah. Because then it doesn't sound like I'm coming for your money and your daughter. It sounds like, hey, I want to love her more than you did or as much as you did. Will you teach me how to, to handle this part of it? Because this is just new for me. And I want you to get in the habit of doing what I think is a very hard thing for men to do, but if they can figure it out. And you're, you're, you're about to be a newlywed, be able to sit down and say, hey, this particular thing, whatever this thing is, makes me feel over my head, and it makes me, I, I don't know how to do it. And tell your wife that. Tell your, your fiance that. Okay. Being able to say for me, saying to my wife. Hey, we're headed to your. To your house where there's goats and horses and chick. It makes. I grew up in the city. It. I. I feel out of my over my skis here. And so when I ask questions like, no, I'm not trying to make fun of you. I just don't know what I'm doing here. I'm nervous to be on this farm, and that was my situation. But being able to say that and put that on the table, man, that clears the air and it clears a lot of drama and actually brings you closer together.

[Dave Ramsey]

You got a cow phobia.

[Chris]

I have. I just didn't know what I didn't know.

[Dave Ramsey]

A goat phobia.

[Chris]

I got a horse phobia. I don't like. You're almost bigger than me. No, I've always had a thing about it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Interesting. No wonder you're worried about I'm clumsy. Now you're worried about George's camel.

[Chris]

He comes walking in here on a camel. Freaks me out.

[Dave Ramsey]

Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.