My Girlfriend Is Sabotaging My Budget

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: My Girlfriend Is Sabotaging My Budget
Date: June 13, 2026
Host(s): Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruze
Caller: Chris

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Overview

This episode centers on a caller, Chris, who is struggling to maintain his budget as his relationship becomes more serious and his spending on his girlfriend increases. Chris seeks advice from Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze on how to balance his desire to woo his girlfriend and practice generosity, with staying on track toward his financial goals and staying out of debt.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Chris’s Current Situation (00:06 – 01:54)

• Relationship Context:
  Chris describes his girlfriend as "low maintenance" but notes that as their relationship has grown more serious, his spending on her has increased, often going over his budget.

  "At the time, she was pretty easy on the budget, but as things have gone, like, increasingly, you know, a little more serious...my budget has kind of expanded on the EveryDollar app." – Chris (00:06)

• Spending Habits:
  Chris admits he often initiates extra spending (e.g., daily coffees during her finals week), and his restaurant budget is now essentially allocated to her.

  "I somehow got tricked into, like, paying for extra things...I was, like, just buying her coffee every day." – Chris (00:43) "It's my volition." – Chris (00:58)

• High-Cost Events:
  Recent expenses are higher due to occasions like his girlfriend's birthday (spa package $450-$500) and holidays, adding pressure to his budget.

  "What'd you get her for her birthday?" – Rachel Cruze (01:32)
  "A spa package...around 450 to 500." – Chris (01:35)

The Problem with “Setting the Bar” (01:41 – 01:54)

• Expectations and Precedent:
  Dave and Rachel point out that starting with lavish gifts sets a high expectation for future events.

  "You just set the tone and the bar because now, next birthday, it's got to be at least 500 bucks worth." – Dave Ramsey (01:41) "You do you set the bar early, my friend." – Rachel Cruze (01:49)

• Timing Issues:
  Chris started dating his girlfriend around Christmas, which added gifting pressure from the relationship’s onset.

  "We started dating around Christmas time, so I kind of had to get a Christmas gift." – Chris (01:54)

Exploring the Why & Financial Situation (02:01 – 03:32)

• Courtship vs. Financial Stress:
  Rachel emphasizes the normalcy and value in wining and dining, but highlights the need for boundaries—especially if the spending is causing stress.

  "There's part of me that I feel like you're just doing everything right. It's. It costs money to have a girlfriend...There's a toll here. Now the question is, is it bothering you because you're in debt...?" – Rachel Cruze (02:01)

• Chris’s Debt & Resources:
  Chris reveals he has about $35,000 in debt (outside of his mortgage), and a CD (certificate of deposit) with $100,000 maturing in a couple of months that he intends to use to pay off debt.

  "I think I have, according to here. I mean, outside the mortgage is about 35,000 in debt." – Chris (03:10)
  "I do have a CD that's about 100,000. I won't be able to access it till August or July." – Chris (03:32)

Budgeting Discipline & Healthy Communication (03:53 – 05:23)

• Personal Responsibility:
  Dave stresses that Chris is in charge of his budget and sets the spending parameters.

  "You set the budget. You're the boss of the budget. And so it's your job to say, all right, I'm going to spend $200 for this birthday and no more." – Dave Ramsey (03:53)

• Authenticity in Relationships:
  Dave and Rachel encourage Chris to communicate openly with his girlfriend about his financial limits, suggesting that discussing budgets is a sign of relationship maturity.

  "If she's a good match for you, you should be able to say to her...My budget is kind of limited. I just want you to know so that...we don't do it that week, that's the reason why." – Rachel Cruze (04:30) "Another human being should be able to understand that type of statement." – Rachel Cruze (05:18)

• Potential Conversation:
  Dave models what Chris might say:

  "I realize I've been blown through my budget every month. I got to get this thing under control. Date nights might look a little bit different for the next year. As I clean this up..." – Dave Ramsey (05:42)

Relationship Anecdote from Rachel (05:58 – 06:59)

• Personal Story:
  Rachel shares how her now-husband Sam had a "stack of cash" he worked through while wooing her, eventually needing a paper route to buy her engagement ring. The story illustrates the real impact of relationship spending on personal finances.

  "He whined and dined me, and I could actually see the stack of cash going down, down...And then he finally did propose...by then he needed to get a paper route because he'd gone through his savings." – Rachel Cruze (06:38)

Actionable Financial Advice

• Debt Payoff:
  Rachel and Dave advise Chris to use his maturing CD to pay off debt as soon as possible, potentially even accepting a minor penalty if early withdrawal terms are favorable.

  "Once that CD lets him in, he needs to pay off that debt with the full maturity." – Rachel Cruze (05:25) "If it's a nothing burger and you're just missing out on some interest, I would pay off that debt today." – Dave Ramsey (05:31)

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Notable Quotes

• On Relationship Spending:
  "It costs money to have a girlfriend, just like it costs money to have some of the other things you enjoy having."
  – Rachel Cruze (02:01)
• On Boundaries:
  "You set the budget. You're the boss of the budget."
  – Dave Ramsey (03:53)
• On Honest Communication:
  "I think if she's a good match for you, you should be able to say to her, I love being able to take you out...That being said, my budget is kind of limited."
  – Rachel Cruze (04:30)
• Relatable Tale:
  "He needed to get a paper route because he'd gone through his savings and so he had to get a paper route to buy my engagement ring."
  – Rachel Cruze (06:53)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:06 – Chris introduces his budgeting dilemma in the relationship
• 01:32 – Birthday spending and the impact of setting expectations
• 02:01 – Rachel discusses the costs of courtship and the importance of knowing your limits
• 03:10 – Chris outlines his debt and financial plan
• 03:53 – Dave emphasizes budget ownership
• 04:30 – Rachel offers advice on relationship communication about money
• 05:25 – Guidance on paying off debt with savings
• 05:58 – Rachel’s personal story about dating and finances

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Tone & Final Thoughts

This episode blends practical personal finance advice with real, sometimes humorous anecdotes, providing both empathy for Chris’s situation and direct, actionable feedback. The hosts maintain a supportive, conversational, and slightly playful tone, encouraging open dialogue about money in relationships and emphasizing personal agency in budgeting decisions. The central message: generosity and romance are great, but should always go hand in hand with honesty and smart, sustainable financial planning.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Chris]

So I recently had, like, I would consider her a low maintenance girlfriend. At the time, she was pretty easy on the budget, but as things have gone, like, increasingly, you know, a little more serious, you know, my budget has kind of expanded on the EveryDollar app, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Nice way to put it.

[Chris]

Yeah. So I was just going to ask, like, how do you guys, you know, account for those things? Because, like, now I'm, like, every month I'm, like, having to, like, siphon off other categories. Like, my restaurant budget now is just her allotted budget at this point. Like, I'm. I'm just trying to do extra things for her.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how is this, like, explain to us start to finish? Is she texting you like, hey, we're going out to eat tonight?

[Chris]

It's a little less of that and more of, like, I somehow got tricked into, like, paying for extra things. So, like, like, what a finals week? So she was, like, very tired, so I was, like, just buying her coffee every day.

[Dave Ramsey]

But was that on your volition or was she asking for it?

[Chris]

It's my volition.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because I don't want to dog her and be like, wow, she's terrible. It sounds like you just feel this pressure to spend.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, tell us what. Tell us what type of money you're spending on her on a weekly basis. Like, we. We go to a. We go to a dinner, and the dinner is $90. And then I spend coffee on her, and I probably get her five coffees a week. That's, you know, 69. I don't know how much coffee is. But tell. Give us some ballparks here.

[Chris]

Yeah, sure. So I think every month has been a little different. Just like this month has been, like, her birthday and then final. So it's been a little more sense.

[Rachel Cruze]

What'd you get her for her birthday?

[Chris]

A spa package. How much, roughly? Around 450 to 500.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Okay, now here's the problem, Chris. You just set the tone and the bar because now, next birthday, it's got to be at least 500 bucks worth.

[Rachel Cruze]

You do you set the bar early, my friend.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not flowers and chocolate. Next time.

[Chris]

Yeah, I. I kind of got a little screwed over here. We started dating around Christmas time, so I kind of had to get a Christmas gift. So, like, that kind of put me in the hole a little bit, too.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so I will start out by saying this because I. I want you to know who you're dealing with here. I believe in wooing. And I believe in, like, whining and dining. I do believe that. I love that as part of courtship. So there's part of me that I feel like you're just doing everything right. It's. It costs money to have a girlfriend, just like it costs money to have some of the other things you. You enjoy having. So there's part of this that I do think. There's, you know, there's a toll here. Now the question is, is it bothering you because you're in debt and you need that money to pay off debt, or why is it bothering you that you're shelling out this money? Tell us about your financial situation.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Chris]

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[Dave Ramsey]

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[Chris]

Yeah, sure. So she's the one who brought me onto the. The Ramsey stuff. So for me, I think it's a mixture of, like, I'm trying to be like, you know, I got a budget for her, but, like, this month I just blew right through it, right for the birthday. So I don't have that much debt. I think I have, according to here. I mean, outside the mortgage is about 35,000 in debt.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Chris]

I do have a CV that's about 100,000. Oh, I won't be able to access it till August or July, but the plan was to use that to pay off the debt and then start investing a little more aggressively. But that's the plan. But I was just trying to figure out, like, my budget, like, has been just changing every month. Like, some months are lower than the others, some months are higher. And also just trying to balance that with, well, you're.

[Dave Ramsey]

You set the budget. You're the boss of the budget. And so it's your job to say, all right, I'm going to spend $200 for this birthday and no more. And then you figure out how to do that, but instead you're going, well, I really want to get the spa package. Is it to impress her? I mean, I don't. It doesn't sound like she has crazy expensive taste. And you're just trying to appease her.

[Chris]

Yeah, I think for me it's trying to appease for sure. It's not so much expensive taste. But I guess the way her schedule works out, we don't have as much time to spend. So it kind of makes it a little more sense to like go a little extra step.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're trying to buy her love since you can't do it with your physical presence.

[Rachel Cruze]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you saying, like I said, I love wining and dining, but I also love a budget and I love financial goals. I think if she's a good match for you, you should be able to say to her, I love being able to take you out. I love being a gentleman. I like being able to, you know, practice chivalry and pick up the bill. That being said, my budget is kind of limited. I just want you to know so that if there's something that maybe we're you're used to us doing and we don't do it that week. That's the reason why. It's not that I'm not into you anymore. It's just I gotta pay off my debt. And I think you should be able to say that at this stage in the relationship and it be received because she probably has things, at least she should on her end that are similar financially. Like, yes, I'd like to do my financial goals too. So I think another human being should be able to understand that type of statement.

[Dave Ramsey]

What a fun question, Chris. Thank you for that.

[Rachel Cruze]

And you do, by the way, once that CD let's lets him in, he needs to pay off that debt with the full maturity.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I would look into what the actual penalty is because if it's a nothing burger and you're just missing out on some interest, I would pay off that debt today.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Cuz sometimes it really isn't anything. It just kind of stops. Other times there might be a withdrawal penalty there.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's different rules on that. So I look into that. But I think if she turned you on to the Ramsey plan, it's an easy, easier conversation. You go, hey, listen, I've been whining and dining and I realize I've been blown through my budget every month. I got to get this thing under control. Date nights might look a little bit different for the next year. As I clean this up, can I

[Rachel Cruze]

tell you a real life story?

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. It's going to be good. Maybe you got that smile of like mischief.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's just a memory that I see in my mind right now. When I first met Sam, he. My husband, he lived in a townhouse, obviously alone. And he was showing me around his house for the first time. And I was struck because he just had a pile of cash that he kept. He just. Savings. He just had. He had a lot of things involved on a table. Papers and piles. Yeah, no, no, it was in his closet. It was just stacked up money. And let me just tell you, Sam definitely wooed me. He whined and dined me, and I could actually see the stack of cash going down, down.

[Dave Ramsey]

As he continues to date you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Y. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny. And then he finally did propose. He proposed six months into dating and. Yeah, and by then he needed to get a paper route because he'd gone through his savings and so he had to get a paper route to buy my engagement ring.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did he not know about a savings account?

[Rachel Cruze]

He. Listen, did we know anything back then? We had a dollars.

[Dave Ramsey]

But he's not like a 78 year old man with tin cans in his backyard. That's funny. All right, I gotta razz him for that next time I see him. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.