My Husband Didn’t Pay His Taxes Now the IRS Is Coming for Us

Summary

Episode Summary: "My Husband Didn’t Pay His Taxes Now the IRS Is Coming for Us"

Released July 17, 2025 by Ramsey Network

In this compelling episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, host Dave Ramsey and financial expert Rachel Cruze tackle a distressing real-life financial dilemma shared by a listener, Alice from Montana. The discussion centers on the severe consequences of financial mismanagement within a marriage, the emotional turmoil of betrayal, and the legal protections available against unexpected IRS actions.

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Alice’s Financial Crisis

The episode opens with Rachel Cruze introducing Alice's troubling situation:

“All right, today's question comes from Alice in Montana. My husband and I have been married for 21 years, and we had weathered financial struggles, including a past bankruptcy. I had a solid nursing career that allowed him to pursue real estate full time...” [00:06]

Alice recounts a year of financial turmoil in 2021, where her husband failed to pay $82,000 in taxes despite having sufficient funds in his business account. Instead of fulfilling his tax obligations, he diverted the money into unsuccessful business ventures without informing Alice. The situation escalated when their CPA, after months of unsuccessful attempts to contact her husband, filed their taxes without Alice’s consent to avoid penalties. This deceit left Alice blindsided, especially after discovering an IRS notice threatening to levy their home for $150,000:

“I feel blindsided and betrayed. My question is, should I buy him out using a second mortgage to cover the IRS or sell the home and walk away?” [00:26]

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Navigating the Options: Stay Together or Separate

Rachel Cruze seeks clarity on Alice’s predicament:

“Do I bail them out? Maybe just pay for. I don't know.” [01:24]

Dave Ramsey immediately challenges the notion of "buying out" a spouse, interpreting it as a move towards divorce:

“Buy him out means you're divorcing him. I don't know why you would buy him out.” [01:10]

He outlines two primary pathways for Alice:

1. Staying Together:

   • Rebuilding Trust: Alice and her husband would need to engage in marriage counseling to address the betrayal and deceit.
   • Financial Consolidation: Combining incomes to address the $82,000 tax debt and the $150,000 lien.
   • Managing IRS Claims: Understanding that the IRS typically takes extensive time (up to five years) to enforce property liens fully.

2. Separation and Divorce:

   • Selling the Home: Liquidating the property to address the IRS lien.
   • Innocent Spouse Provision: Protecting herself from her husband's tax liabilities by declaring innocence in the tax filings.

“If you're seeking a divorce, you're probably going to be selling the house.” [04:09]

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Understanding the Innocent Spouse Provision

Dave Ramsey delves into the Innocent Spouse Provision, a critical legal protection for individuals unwittingly caught in their spouse's financial misconduct:

“You would file under what's called the innocent spouse provision, which is you didn't, you were not aware of these taxes, you are not aware of the business activities that created these taxes. And so the IRS does not hold you liable even if it was married filing jointly.” [05:42]

Key Points:

• Protection from Liability: Alice may not be personally responsible for her husband's tax debts if she can demonstrate lack of knowledge and involvement.
• Professional Assistance: Consulting a tax attorney or a knowledgeable CPA is essential to navigate the complexities of the provision effectively.

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Consequences of Financial Deceit and the Importance of Integrity

Transitioning from Alice’s situation, Dave Ramsey emphasizes the fundamental role of integrity in financial success:

“The number one correlating the most occurring item...they had fanatical levels of integrity.” [07:00]

He contrasts Alice’s husband's behavior with the traits of successful millionaires, highlighting that integrity is a deliberate choice crucial for building and maintaining wealth. This segment serves as a broader lesson on the impact of honesty and ethical conduct in personal and financial relationships.

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Final Insights and Takeaways

Dave Ramsey concludes with actionable advice for Alice:

• If Staying Together:
  • Trust Rebuilding: Engage in marriage counseling to mend the fractured trust.
  • Financial Strategy: Consolidate incomes and establish a clear plan to address the tax debt and lien.
  • Immediate Actions: Address IRS notices promptly to prevent escalation.

“If you're staying together and you're going to marriage counseling to try to regain trust...put all of our income in one pile to clean up the mess that he made.” [05:11]

• If Opting for Divorce:
  • Legal Protection: Utilize the innocent spouse provision to protect her finances.
  • Property Settlement: Sell the house to resolve the IRS lien without personal liability.
  • Professional Guidance: Seek advice from a divorce attorney and a specialized CPA.

“You need to do two things. Number one, if you're seeking a divorce...file under what's called the innocent spouse provision.” [05:42]

Key Takeaways:

• Immediate Action is Crucial: Addressing IRS notices and understanding legal protections can prevent further financial damage.
• Seek Professional Help: Engaging with legal and financial experts is essential in complex financial disputes.
• Integrity Matters: Upholding honesty and ethical behavior is foundational to financial stability and healthy relationships.

Alice’s story is a stark reminder of how financial irresponsibility and deceit can profoundly impact personal lives, underscoring the necessity of transparency, integrity, and proactive financial management within marriages.

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Notable Quotes:

• Rachel Cruze:

  “I feel blindsided and betrayed. My question is, should I buy him out using a second mortgage to cover the IRS or sell the home and walk away?” [00:26]

• Dave Ramsey:

  “Buy him out means you're divorcing him. I don't know why you would buy him out.” [01:10]

• Dave Ramsey:

  “You would file under what's called the innocent spouse provision...the IRS does not hold you liable even if it was married filing jointly.” [05:42]

• Dave Ramsey:

  “The number one correlating the most occurring item...they had fanatical levels of integrity.” [07:00]

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This episode offers invaluable insights for listeners facing similar financial and marital challenges, emphasizing the importance of honesty, professional guidance, and informed decision-making in navigating complex financial crises.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Rachel Cruze]

All right, today's question comes from Alice in Montana. My husband and I have been married for 21 years, and we had weathered financial struggles, including a past bankruptcy. I had a solid nursing career that allowed him to pursue real estate full time. And in 2021, we had a strong year. We owed $82,000 in taxes for the year, and the money was available in his business account. I trusted him to handle everything, but I recently discovered he never paid the U.S. instead, he used the money on business expenses in a. In a failed side venture without telling me. Our CPA tried contacting him for months and eventually filed our taxes without signatures in early 2023 to avoid penalties. My as my husband also hid IRS notices from me, I found out recently when I signed up for a certificate letter stating that the IRS intends to levy our home for $150,000. I feel blindsided and betrayed. My question is, should I buy him out using a second mortgage to cover the IRS or sell the home and walk away? Gosh, Alice, buy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Oh, she's divorcing him. I don't know why you would buy him out.

[Rachel Cruze]

Buy him out.

[Dave Ramsey]

Buy him out means you're divorcing, I guess. I don't know what that means. You don't buy out somebody you're married to. Bail him out.

[Rachel Cruze]

Do I bail them out? Maybe just pay for. I don't know.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can bail out your husband.

[Rachel Cruze]

Do you use a second mortgage or do you sell the house? And is that all the penalties but $82,000? And I'm confused, but they filed. The CPA filed their taxes without signatures.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. That's weird. So illegal. Okay, it's a good way for the CPA to end up in jail. I mean, almost all filings are done electronically, but the cpa, that, when ours does it, requires us to sign a document allowing him to file it electronically. Even though I'm not technically filing the tax return. Okay, I can't tell what's going on. This is a bunch of gobbledygook. What I can tell is that if you have an $82,000 tax bill for one year, that means you made 400 or $300,000. So if you're staying together and you're going to marriage counseling to try to regain trust and stop this ridiculous behavior of deception, if you're going to do that, then you've got this household income you're nursing plus his 300k that he didn't pay taxes. On if he makes 300k next year and doesn't blow it all in a side venture and we have a game plan, we could clean this up real quick. That's I guess one direction. The other direction is you're getting a divorce and you're selling the house. Yeah. No, I would not bail him out. I would bail us out if we are staying together, but if we choose to. No, I'm not going to leave you with an unreliable, unresponsive ex husband to pay off his taxes as a she said we owed.

[Rachel Cruze]

So I'm wondering if it's part of hers she's nursing.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're withholding on her. We don't know what's going on here. I'm gonna guess and say this is all the whole tax bill's regarding him.

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[Dave Ramsey]

I'm gonna guess and say this is all. The whole tax bill is regarding him. And so the lien on your house is regarding him. So you need to do two things. Number one, if you're seeking a divorce, you're probably going to be selling the house. Number two, you're not responsible for the taxes. In the event you got a divorce, you would file under what's called the innocent spouse provision, which is you didn't, you were not aware of these taxes, you are not aware of the business activities that created these taxes. And so the IRS does not hold you liable even if it was married filing jointly. And so it's called the innocent spouse provision. And you would need a tax attorney or a great CPA that knows how to work that and that removes the IRS from you. Now, if it is a lien on a house that has both of your names on it and the house is sold, they can only take the 150 out of his portion. Then if they have approved you for innocent spouse provision, and they should, it sounds like you qualify for that. So. But all of this only works, only happens if you're divorcing. If you're staying together, you file instant spouse provision to keep them from coming after your income, which would probably be A good idea. But then the two of you have got to reestablish some footing on trust and betrayal and lies and deception. And then put all of our income in one pile to clean up the mess that he made. And that would include the $150,000 lien being removed from the house. Very few times does the IRS get around. It takes them about five years to actually sell a house, to force the sale of the house. Very unusual for them to do that quickly. They'll pop a lien on there in a heartbeat. But to actually force the sale of the house to satisfy the tax lien, it takes them forever. And they're just not very competent at that part. That level of collections they'll get there eventually if you do nothing. And by the way, they'll turn the 150 into 400 before they get there in penalties and interest.

[Rachel Cruze]

So if you stay together, get it cleaned up as quickly as possible.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you're not staying together, see a CPA about innocent spouse provision. Talk to your divorce attorney about that. And then we're selling the house and you're going to get your portion of the house clear. His portion has $150,000 lien on it. I don't know how much value there is in this house. We don't have enough information. What a mess.

[Rachel Cruze]

Sorry, Alice.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it pops into my head that Tom Stanley, who wrote the book Millionaire next door in 1992, he's passed away in a car wreck. But he was an inspiration to a lot of us in this space showing that people become millionaires starting from nothing. We followed up with that 40 years later with a or 30 years later with the Ramsey study of millionaires. The largest study, we studied 10 times more people than he did. Mainly not because we didn't like his study, but just because we wanted. It was a PR stunt because people criticize the size of his study. So we ended up studying 10,167 millionaires and where money comes from. He wrote another book later called the Millionaire Mind where he studied billionaires and he found 39 correlating statistics or correlating life demographics and character qualities and so forth among these billionaires that he studied. And then he ranked them in order of most occurring among the study group to least occurring among the study group. The number one occurring thing among the billionaires that he studied, they were all self made, meaning they started with nothing and became billionaires. Thousand million. This is way more than a million. Thousand million is a billion. Number one correlating the most occurring item value, whatever inside of this study was they had fanatical levels of integrity. There is a high correlation between fanatical levels of integrity and the ability to build wealth. That's the point of that story. That would be the other end of the spectrum from the man in this.

[Rachel Cruze]

Email, lying to his wife, getting out of trying to get out of taxes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And yeah, yeah, and you know, not returning the CPA's call. All these kinds of things, whatever. And so duck and hide, lay in the ditch, duck into the shadows, try to move the shell. Hope the pee won't be there next time. Run the scheme, run the scam. Trying to find a shortcut, trying to find a get rich quick thing. I'm making good money in real estate, but I still got a side hustle that's screwing up. I find some way to burn money. That's the opposite end of the number one most occurring thing called integrity. So until he the good news is integrity is a decision. He can just decide to be a man of integrity starting today. But if he doesn't. You got issues, sister. You got issues. Yeah. You're trying to drag a tired donkey across the finish line. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.