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Dave Ramsey
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Susan
I have been married for six years to my husband. When we got married, he wanted me to sign a last minute prenup day before we were going to go get married. Nothing was written up, so I didn't agree to sign anything because he wanted me to sign a blank piece of paper and, and have him and his attorney was going to write up whatever he told him to. And I said, well, that's. We've never even discussed finances in our year of dating, so I'm not comfortable doing that.
Rachel Cruze
Good for you.
Dave Ramsey
Good for you. I've never even heard of such a crazy request.
Susan
Well, yeah, so the day before we were leaving to go out of state to go get married, he, he said, well, I want you to come down to the attorneys and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I just said, well. And then he said, well, don't you trust me? And I said, this is ridiculous. I said we've never even talked about, about finances. And when we were dating, he was throwing money around like he had all this money, but I didn't know what he had or didn't have.
Rachel Cruze
Sure.
Susan
Anyway, so anyway, fast forward, I didn't sign it. I'm like not signing a blank piece of paper. That's ridiculous. And so anyway, so fast forward six years. Finance finances have always been kept a secret. He gives me a small allowance he puts in a joint checking to cover, you know, whatever small things on the side. He pays the main bills, you know, I pay the groceries and other small things. But anyway, so now he, fast forward, he wants a divorce because I've finally put my foot down and said I'm not going to leave in secrecy anymore. You either become transparent because as far as I can tell, somehow he's acting. He's put his one business. I think it's like going in the hole because he's an accountant and he went from having a dozen employees to having two. And anyway, I think he's just lost a lot of money so he started another driving business on the side and he started that a year and a half ago and went into a ton of debt for that.
Dave Ramsey
So. Susan, this is really bad and I am so sorry you're going through this. What specifically would you like us to weigh in on today?
Susan
Well, I'm just wondering with, with all this debt, I'm like, what am I responsible for? And, and is he really in debt or is he not in. I mean, I don't really know what's
Rachel Cruze
his, what's his reasoning. When you. When you push him to the point that he said, I'm going to divorce you, when you push him on. I want transparency. I want to see everything. What's his response? Is it. It's none of your business. Is it?
Susan
Yes. Like, yes, okay, I just said I need to know what's going on. Like, where are we and how can I help him? What's going on? And he says, I'm not telling you. It's none of your business.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, this is an overlord, not a husband. He's acting like some, you know, crazy, maniacal overlord.
Guest Speaker
I think.
Dave Ramsey
Let's answer your question as technically as we can.
Guest Speaker
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Dave Ramsey
If your name's not on it.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah, the debt, you're not gonna be responsible.
Dave Ramsey
You're not responsible for it. So. But that doesn't really help you with your problem is that you don't know what he's done.
Susan
You're.
Dave Ramsey
You don't know what he's put in your name. Do you guys have a mortgage?
Susan
We. We have a mortgage. So right after we got married, he had the house appraised.
Dave Ramsey
Are you on the mortgage?
Susan
No.
Dave Ramsey
Your name's not on the mortgage.
Rachel Cruze
Only his is.
Susan
No. So he bought the home about a year before we got.
Dave Ramsey
Great.
Susan
About a year and a half.
Dave Ramsey
Great news for you. Great news for you.
Susan
So then we got married, and then a couple months later, he. He decides. Doesn't even tell me that he's talking to the bank about refinancing. So the morning of. I said, where are you going? He goes, I'm going down to the bank. I'm refinancing the house. And I said, oh, well, that would have been a good thing to know. And anyway, so he just goes down and does it. And I'm like, well, wait a minute. We haven't even discussed. We want to put it on 20 or 30 or what? What's the plan? And how much is.
Dave Ramsey
But your name is not on it. Even after the refi Nothing.
Rachel Cruze
Okay. Which means you. Okay. So that is, that's hard because any, any equity that's built into this thing.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
Either you, you don't have. You don't have, which is a negative. But also if he is underwater a hundred grand in business loans and he has to file bankruptcy, they're going to take the house and, and use the equity in that to, I mean, you know what I mean? Like that gets.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Our hope is that your name's not on any of his debt. But to Rachel's point, you're not going
Rachel Cruze
to benefit from anything from the house. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Susan, the way he's talking to you with money, this doesn't like your marriage overall.
Susan
Isn't he engages. No, he doesn't engage in any marital anything.
Rachel Cruze
So I think you have to make a decision, Susan. Either he changes and he chooses to be a spouse in this relationship, which means a commitment and transparency and, and oneness and a team in everything healing in all areas of life. I think not just money is what this sounds like. And if he doesn't do that, which he probably won't, then you have to make a decision, Susan, on how you want the rest of your life to be. And we never are pro divorce. Right. Like, I never wanted to get to this point, but I also want you to protect yourself in a situation like this where the allow, like all of it like this is. It is the most controlled financial situation on his benefit and not yours. And that's unfair.
Susan
Well, and that's what he's told. You know, I was trying to fix it and go to the counselor and stuff. And, and he just told the counselor, he just said, I set things up the way I wanted it. This is the way it's going to be.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so then you, you have grounds here. We're not recommending divorce. But this is a marriage that's non existent. It's only on paper and who knows what else he's hidden from you. So, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know how forthcoming he's going to be in divorce proceedings, but he won't have much when you start getting down to it. So at this point, it's like you have to take your losses and you called asking what do I do about debt? That's in my name. If it's in your name, you're gonna have to walk our process of the baby steps out. And it's a baby step one. Baby step two is you start over. But the reality is you don't know
Susan
and we don't build any credit.
Dave Ramsey
What's that?
Susan
Don't you build any credit after you're married? Any equity that is built, but it's
Rachel Cruze
not in your name.
Susan
You're married.
Dave Ramsey
It's not in your name.
Rachel Cruze
It's not your name.
Dave Ramsey
Here's the real answer, Susan.
Susan
Our state law, it does say that any equity that's built from a marital perspective.
Dave Ramsey
Well, again, that's where you need a divorce lawyer, a good one, right? We don't know.
Rachel Cruze
But I'm saying, though, Susan, if he does. But if he goes and tries to get any. Any assets that he can to avoid a bankruptcy or something, you know what I mean? Like, he's going to be finding.
Susan
Right.
Rachel Cruze
Anything. Which. Which scares me, that, that there's me nothing for you.
Susan
Well, I know. That's what I'm like. I'm gonna.
Rachel Cruze
Are you working right now?
Susan
No. Okay.
Rachel Cruze
Do. Do y' all have kids? Do you have kids?
Susan
I went to school. No, I went to school for this last year. I just. I just finished and I have, for you $500 in. In school loans that I have to start paying back and forth.
Dave Ramsey
What did you go to school for?
Susan
Master esthetician. I have a cosmetology lab.
Dave Ramsey
Can you go get. Can you go get a job in the next week or two as an esthetician or doing makeovers at Nordstrom or something like that? Yes.
Susan
I don't know. I mean, I probably go to a spa.
Dave Ramsey
It was kind of a trick question. The answer to my question is yes.
Susan
No, I can't go make enough money in the next month to support myself. That's the answer.
Dave Ramsey
Well, no. Okay. But that's the wrong. But you got the wrong mindset. I didn't say. To be able to make all that up. You're. You have to now go get a job like Rachel said, because you have to assume that you're not going to get any money out of this and you need a job because you're going to need to go rent an apartment or go find another divorced lady who needs a roommate. This is your reality right now. And I, I hate that I'm telling
Rachel Cruze
you this, but it's that or if you choose to stay in the marriage you guys have. No, no, I'm just saying. Yeah, either way, go get a job. You're functioning as an individual whether you stay in the marriage or not, which means you need money to your name, Susan.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, so go get a full time
Rachel Cruze
job because you don't even know. He could take everything tomorrow, you know, I know. So how old are you?
Susan
59.
Rachel Cruze
59. Okay. Do you have any retirement anything in your name?
Susan
No.
Guest Speaker
No.
Susan
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Urgency.
Susan
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
It's the work.
Rachel Cruze
I'm proud of you for going back to school, though.
Dave Ramsey
Absolutely.
Rachel Cruze
Seriously, you're making some. Right. The right steps.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
But there's some.
Susan
Well, I just kept seeing this coming, and I'm like, I've got to have some. Some more. Something.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Susan
As a foundation to be able to earn some money. And I'm just like. I'm. I'm just like. What you're saying. I'm scared that I'm going to be left with nothing.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Yeah. But here's the deal. Here's the good news. You have a very good skill, and you can work and make enough money as an esthetician. You can. So now you must.
Susan
But what do I do in the meantime if I don't have any access to funds?
Dave Ramsey
You open up your own bank account. You're a grown woman. Your money goes into your account.
Rachel Cruze
Go to Target for now, if you need to, you know, go work somewhere and you start your own financial life.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Today, create your free everydollar budget. Today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
Episode: My Husband Hid Our Finances, Now He Wants A Divorce
Date: March 13, 2026
Featured Hosts: Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze
Guest Caller: Susan
In this episode, Susan calls in to share her challenging marital and financial situation. After six years of marriage marked by secrecy and financial control by her husband—an accountant who kept her out of their financial affairs and pressured her to sign an unusual prenup—Susan’s insistence on transparency has led to divorce threats. She seeks guidance on her financial responsibilities, potential liabilities, and next steps for protecting herself as her husband faces mounting debts. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze offer advice on legal responsibilities, personal empowerment, and urgent steps for Susan’s future independence.
Notable Quote:
“He gives me a small allowance... but finances have always been kept a secret.”
(Susan, 01:09)
Notable Quotes:
“If your name's not on [the debt], you're not responsible for it.”
(Dave Ramsey, 03:46)
“You don’t have... any equity that’s built into this thing.”
(Rachel Cruze, 04:45)
Notable Quotes:
“This is an overlord, not a husband. He’s acting like some, you know, crazy, maniacal overlord.”
(Dave Ramsey, 03:00)
“It is the most controlled financial situation on his benefit and not yours. And that's unfair.”
(Rachel Cruze, 06:06)
Notable Quotes:
“Go get a job…because you're going to need to go rent an apartment or go find another divorced lady who needs a roommate. This is your reality right now.”
(Dave Ramsey, 08:21)
“Either way, go get a job. You're functioning as an individual whether you stay in the marriage or not, which means you need money to your name, Susan.”
(Rachel Cruze, 08:44)
Notable Quotes:
“I’m proud of you for going back to school, though. Seriously, you're making some...right...the right steps.”
(Rachel Cruze, 09:17)
“You have a very good skill, and you can work and make enough money as an esthetician. You can. So now you must.”
(Dave Ramsey, 09:38)
This episode candidly addresses the intersection of marriage, secrecy, and financial abuse. Through practical advice and emotional support, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze empower Susan—and listeners—to take control, seek fairness, and understand their legal and financial standing. The episode is both a wake-up call and a roadmap for anyone facing financial manipulation in a relationship.