My Husband Is Depending On Social Security For Retirement

Summary

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The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode Title: My Husband Is Depending On Social Security For Retirement
Date: July 1, 2026
Host(s): Dave Ramsey and Financial Advisor (unnamed)
Caller: Mary

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Overview

This episode centers on a caller, Mary, seeking advice about a difficult financial and marital situation: her husband is relying entirely on Social Security for retirement, making no separate contributions, while Mary is diligently saving and investing 15% of her income. The conversation delves into the realities of Social Security, their differing retirement visions, underlying relational dynamics, and the importance of values alignment in marriage.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Reality of Relying on Social Security (00:50–01:40)

• Dave Ramsey explains that Social Security typically replaces only 40% of pre-retirement income—assuming it even remains fully funded in the future.
  • Quote: "Social Security is only gonna replace about 40% of your income, and that's if it's still existent." (00:57 - Dave Ramsey)
• Financial Advisor: The Social Security trust fund is projected to be depleted by around 2032, leading to lower future benefits.
  • Quote: "The trust fund is gonna be depleted by, I think, 20, 32 or something, and that's gonna lower the benefits by probably 23% or so." (01:17 - Financial Advisor)
  • Current average payout is about $2,000 a month—far less in future dollars due to inflation.

2. The Consequences of Insufficient Retirement Planning (02:01–02:15)

• Adult children or younger family often end up financially supporting elders who lack adequate retirement savings.
  • Quote: "Usually the calls we get... the rest of the family, the younger members of the family, are on the hook or feel like they're on the hook to help that person survive." (02:01 - Dave Ramsey)

3. Divergent Financial Behaviors and Career Dynamics (02:36–03:46)

• Mary invests 15% of her significantly higher salary ($155,000) compared to her husband’s $40,000 part-time income working for his father. She bears most of the financial responsibility.
• Her husband appears comfortable with their financial arrangement, possibly coasting because of her higher earnings.

4. Underlying Marital Tensions and Familial Concerns (03:46–04:39)

• Mary's concern spans beyond money: inheritance issues, future children, and feeling potential exploitation.
  • Quote: "I'm not saying, like, we're headed for, like, a divorce, but... I just in some way feel like I'm being taken advantage of, and I just don't know how to navigate it." (04:16 - Mary)
• Dave encourages Mary not to ignore these “red flags” and praises her awareness.

5. Communication Gaps and Value Alignment (04:39–06:16)

• The advisors press Mary about whether she’s shared her emotional reasons for wanting to save; she confirms she was clear about her dreams and values before marriage.
• Mary: She yearns for more out of retirement—more travel, multiple homes, and family connection, but her husband is satisfied with a simpler life centered at home with the children and grandchildren.
  • Quote: "I've shared with him my retirement dreams. I want to have multiple homes in different states. I want to be able to travel." (05:05 - Mary)
  • Quote: "I think that over the years his dreams have kind of changed compared to mine." (05:41 - Mary)
• Their priorities have diverged over the years.

6. Emotional Honesty: Motivation vs. Resignation (05:44–06:17)

• Dave Ramsey questions whether Mary’s husband is truly content or has become demoralized by her success.
  • Quote: "Has he given up or is it that truly what he wants? He just wants to be a stay at home dad. Like which do you think it is? Honestly?" (05:44 - Dave Ramsey)
• Mary senses it's “a little bit of both”—her ambition contrasts with his contentment and possibly, resignation.

7. Core Problem: Relationship Misalignment (06:17–07:13)

• The advisors highlight that the couple was never fully aligned on values and goals—differences are now turning into a significant divide.
  • Quote: "It sounds like you guys were never aligned on any of these like values and goals. It was just sort of like, well, we're different, it'll be fine. But now there's a chasm that's growing..." (06:17 - Financial Advisor)
• As their children have aged, priorities have shifted further apart, especially regarding family engagements and lifestyle expectations.

8. The Bottom Line: Beyond a Finance Problem (07:06–07:13)

• Dave Ramsey bluntly recommends professional counseling, viewing this crisis as more relational than financial.
  • Quote: "I'll be honest with you, Mary, this sounds like something that can only be solved in a counselor's office." (07:06 - Dave Ramsey)

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Notable Quotes

• "Social Security is only gonna replace about 40% of your income, and that's if it's still existent." (00:57 - Dave Ramsey)
• "The trust fund is gonna be depleted by, I think, 20, 32 or something, and that's gonna lower the benefits by probably 23% or so." (01:17 - Financial Advisor)
• "Usually the calls we get... the rest of the family, the younger members of the family, are on the hook or feel like they're on the hook to help that person survive." (02:01 - Dave Ramsey)
• "I'm not saying, like, we're headed for, like, a divorce, but... I just in some way feel like I'm being taken advantage of." (04:16 - Mary)
• "It sounds like you guys were never aligned on any of these like values and goals... now there's a chasm that's growing between you guys..." (06:17 - Financial Advisor)
• "This is a marriage problem far more than a financial problem. And I hope you guys can figure it out and align on some vision for your future." (07:13 - Financial Advisor)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:50–01:40 — Social Security’s limitations exposed
• 02:01–02:15 — The impact of inadequate retirement saving on families
• 03:11–03:46 — Career and income disparity between Mary and her husband
• 04:16 — Mary's unease about being financially taken advantage of
• 05:01–05:41 — Mary shares her retirement dreams and communication efforts
• 06:17–06:36 — Advisors diagnose a growing values chasm
• 07:06–07:13 — Recommendation for marriage counseling as a solution

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Conclusion

This candid, emotionally charged episode shines a spotlight on what happens when couples lack alignment in financial habits and life goals. Dave Ramsey and his co-hosts cut through surface-level money issues to emphasize the deeper relational misalignment. Their advice: Mary and her husband must address their diverging visions for retirement and life through counseling, not just financial planning.

This episode is essential listening for anyone facing similar disconnects with a partner about money, values, or the future.

Transcript

[Financial Advisor]

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[Mary]

Hi. My question is, I am married, and we're having kind of a dispute on retirement. I contribute a lot to my retirement account, and my husband contributes nothing, just Social Security. So I'm asking your advice on how to address this issue.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how old. How old are you guys?

[Mary]

I'm 37, and my husband is 39.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, and when you say he. His. His goal is we'll just live off Social Security? Is that what I hear you saying?

[Mary]

Correct. It worked for his parents, and he believes that that's all he needs.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Are you guys out of debt?

[Mary]

We are. We're on baby step four.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So just to frame up this conversation, and then we're gonna go to town on this. So let's talk about Social Security for a brief moment, because he's not the only person in the world who has had that plan. But the truth is, Social Security is only gonna replace about 40% of your income, and that's if it's still existent.

[Financial Advisor]

The trust fund is gonna be depleted by, I think, 20, 32 or something, and that's gonna lower the benefits by probably 23% or so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Financial Advisor]

And the average payment right now for Social Security is like 2 grand.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. 18 to 2000, which is, you guys, inflation.

[Financial Advisor]

Imagine 30 years from now, how much 2 grand is going to get you?

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Financial Advisor]

So not.

[Mary]

Not much.

[Financial Advisor]

I think some of it is the actual facts, and it may. It may need to come from someone else. You guys might need to sit down with a financial adviser, a smartvestor pro, and have them walk him through the reality of the situation. And what could be so sure could you get by off of Social Security? Ask people who are doing it. It's a sad reality.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's usually the calls that we get when people call in and their parents or their grandparents, if, quote, all they have is Social Security, then the rest of the family, the younger members of the family, are on the hook or feel like they're on the hook to help that person survive.

[Mary]

And.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that is certainly not the position you want. I think Social Security is fine as supplement, you know, as a supplemental piece of your retirement, but it should not be the main piece. Okay, we've made that argument. So let's talk about the convincing part. So you're investing. How much are you doing? The 15% or correct?

[Mary]

Yeah, I do 15%, and I make significantly a lot more than my husband. And I also work full time, and he works kind of part time. Why is that my issue is, well, he works for his dad, and his dad owns a concrete company, and his dad is getting to, in my opinion, needs to retire. And it's. The business is just not. It's just not going to really go anywhere.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's he earned working part time there? What's he earned working part time there?

[Mary]

He makes about 40,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what do you earn?

[Mary]

I make about 55,000. Or, sorry, 155. 155,000? Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do you. And you. If you don't want to answer this, you don't have to. But do you feel like because your income is so solid that he kind of feels like he can coast and doesn't really need to do much?

[Mary]

Yeah, I do. He also has three kids. I'm a stepmom to three kids, and I have none of my own.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Mary]

So my concern, I guess, long term is in my family, we have a lot of inheritance coming down the line here, and I want to protect myself. And if I have a child of my own, you know, we're trying, but it's not working. And so I'm saying if. If I have a child of my own, I want to be able to pass down my family's inheritance to my child. And I also want to, you know, I just want to protect myself. I'm not saying, like, we're headed for, like, a divorce, but I just in some way feel like I'm being taken advantage of, and I just don't know how to navigate it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you're seeing some red flags and you don't want to ignore them. And I think that that's very smart and scary. It's scary to not put your, you know, bury your face in the ground. You're trying to be alert and see what's going on, and I applaud you for that.

[Financial Advisor]

Have you actually shared your why behind all of this? Not asking him why is he not contributing, but saying, here's why I'm scared, here's why I'm contributing. I have a fear of not being prepared. I want to leave an inheritance to our children and their children. I want freedom in retirement. I want to be able to travel. I don't want financial stress. Does he care about any of that? If you shared it with him?

[Mary]

Yeah, I've shared it with him. And, yeah, I've shared it with him before we even got married. I shared with him my retirement dreams. I want to have multiple homes in different states. I want to be able to travel. I want to see my family. I'VE shared all of that before we even got married because it was a concern of mine and I've just worked very hard in my career. I've earned, you know, where, where I'm at. And what's his response? He says that he, I think he honestly, he's just content being at home, being around his children. I, I think that over the years his dreams have kind of changed compared to mine.

[Dave Ramsey]

Has he given up or is it that truly what he wants? He just wants to be a stay at home dad. Like which do you think it is? Honestly?

[Mary]

I think it's a little, a little bit of both. I think that he doesn't, I think honestly he feels a little defeated. The fact that I make so much more money and that I'm already so far ahead of my retirement and when I say I want to travel and I want to see my family, I have a large family, he has a very small family. I want to go golf and do all these things. He's very content being at home.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's just like very different.

[Mary]

Changed. Yes.

[Financial Advisor]

It sounds like you guys were never aligned on any of these like values and goals. It was just sort of like, well, we're different, it'll be fine. But now there's a chasm that's growing between you guys as you are very driven, you're ambitious, you have certain goals and dreams and he's gone. That's not for me. And the truth is he doesn't care about those for you.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long have you been married?

[Mary]

We've been married five years and I think that the things have changed. We've been together almost nine and his children have grown up. They're now 2018 and we have an 11 year old and the 20 year old has a baby. And I think things as the children have gotten older, his priorities have become more of I want to be around my grandchildren, I want to be around my children and less about traveling and doing all those things. But I feel free to do that because I don't have a child of myself.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'll be honest with you, Mary, this sounds like something that can only be solved in a counselor's office.

[Financial Advisor]

This is a marriage problem far more than a financial problem. And I hope you guys can figure it out and align on some vision for your future. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.