My Husband Is Financially Floating His Parents

Summary

Episode Summary: "My Husband Is Financially Floating His Parents"

The Ramsey Show Highlights | May 22, 2026
Host: Dave Ramsey
Co-Host: Rachel Cruze
Caller: Samantha

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Overview

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze answer a call from Samantha, who is deeply concerned about her husband's ongoing decision to financially support his parents with a significant sum each month. The conversation quickly moves beyond finances, delving into issues of marital communication, trust, and boundaries, as Samantha reveals her husband has overridden her objections and acted in secrecy regarding large amounts of money given to his parents. Dave and Rachel offer advice on both the practical and relational aspects of facing this situation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

A. The Financial Situation Unveiled

• Large Monthly Transfers:
  Samantha shares that her husband has been giving his parents approximately $8,000 per month for the past three months, despite them both being employed ([00:55]-[01:08]).
  • Dave Ramsey: “Holy smokes.” ([00:58])
  • Rachel Cruze: “But your, your husband is giving his parents $8,000 a month?” ([00:59])
• Household Income Details:
  The family operates a small contracting business, showing significant income fluctuation ($10,000 to $50,000 per month), filing $240,000 last year. Samantha is not sure exactly how much comes in monthly due to the variable nature of 1099 income ([01:13]-[01:45]).
• No Clear Emergency:
  Samantha clarifies that there was no job loss or medical emergency to necessitate such large, ongoing support, just poor spending habits on the parents' side ([03:07]-[03:20]).

B. Patterns, Boundaries, and Resentment

• Unhealthy Financial Patterns:
  Rachel Cruze points out the danger in normalizing such support: “Throwing money at a situation that isn’t changing to your point is not helping them. …This will continue to be a pattern for the rest of their lives if they had anything to do with it, is what it sounds like.” ([04:31]-[05:30])
• Repeated Objections Ignored:
  Samantha says she has said “no” multiple times, but her husband continues to send the money anyway—sometimes without even telling her ([02:56]-[03:07], [06:50]-[07:08]).
  • Dave Ramsey: “You’ve continued to do this anyway. You’re completely disrespecting me, and I’m not gonna have that right.” ([04:14])
• Secrecy and Trust Issues:
  Samantha admits the last few payments were made behind her back, signaling a breach of trust and unity in the marriage ([06:57]-[07:08]).
  • Rachel Cruze: “It’s the secrecy, and it's the behind your back. So, Samantha. Yeah. This is a marriage issue at this point, and I would raise some red flags.” ([07:28]-[07:42])
  • Dave Ramsey: “It’s a very big deal.” ([07:42])

C. The Marital Dynamics

• Stay-at-Home Mom Status:
  Samantha expresses that she doesn't work outside the home, which raises insecurities about her standing in financial decisions, but insists she normally feels included—except in this matter ([05:46]-[06:43]).
  • Rachel Cruze strongly asserts: “Doesn’t matter. Samantha, it’s your household. You’re both married.” ([05:54])
• Unity and Communication Breakdown:
  Both hosts emphasize that the core problem is marital respect, open communication, and teamwork about money. The pattern of secrecy and unilateral decision-making is cited as particularly damaging ([07:08]-[07:43]).

D. Recommended Actions

• Immediate Honest Conversation:
  Dave and Rachel urge Samantha to set clear boundaries and demand honest, united financial decision-making with her husband:
  • “This conversation needs to happen immediately. Otherwise it’s gonna be you guys against each other.” (Dave Ramsey, [04:22])
• Consider Therapy:
  Rachel advises considering marriage counseling for deeper issues of trust and communication:
  • “You guys may need to go pull in a therapist, a marriage therapist, just to talk about…how we got here in our marriage, that he didn’t feel the ability to come to you, and or he didn’t. And we need to tackle those issues.” ([07:43]-[08:02])

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Holy smokes.”
  – Dave Ramsey upon learning the dollar amount ([00:58])
• “Throwing money at a situation that isn’t changing…is not helping them. This will continue to be a pattern for the rest of their lives if they had anything to do with it.”
  – Rachel Cruze ([04:31]-[05:30])
• “You’ve continued to do this anyway. You’re completely disrespecting me, and I’m not gonna have that right.”
  – Dave Ramsey ([04:14])
• “It’s the secrecy, and it’s the behind your back. …This is a marriage issue at this point, and I would raise some red flags.”
  – Rachel Cruze ([07:28]-[07:42])
• “It’s a very big deal.”
  – Dave Ramsey ([07:42])

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Notable Timestamps

• [00:06] Samantha introduces her dilemma
• [00:58] Hosts react to $8,000/month support
• [01:13] Discussing the household income and budgeting
• [02:56] Samantha admits she’s repeatedly said no
• [03:07] No real emergency for in-laws’ need
• [05:30] Rachel discusses the failure of “throwing money” at the problem
• [06:57] Samantha reveals payments happened secretly
• [07:28] Rachel and Dave identify this as a marriage and trust issue

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Closing Thoughts

This episode powerfully showcases the intersection between financial decisions and marital health. Both Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze prioritize honest communication, mutual respect, and clear boundaries about money in marriage—emphasizing these over the actual dollars involved. Listeners gain insight not only into how to say “no” to financially dependent relatives, but how essential it is to maintain unity and transparency with a spouse. The advice is firm, practical, and compassionate, encouraging Samantha (and anyone listening) to address deeper relationship issues before attempting to solve the financial ones.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Samantha]

I wanted to know what I can do to help my husband stop financially helping his parents.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, boy.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, we gotta help your husband help his parents. Okay, so what's going on?

[Samantha]

Yeah, so my husband is a contractor in Birmingham, and his. We, we have a small business and he makes good money, but his parents tend to kind of fall back where they need to whenever they know that he'll kind of just make up. Make up the back end.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like, how much, how much is he giving him every month?

[Samantha]

A lot of money. Like $8,000 a month.

[Dave Ramsey]

Holy smokes.

[Rachel Cruze]

But your, your husband is giving his parents $8,000 a month?

[Samantha]

Just about.

[Dave Ramsey]

For how long? How long's that been going on?

[Samantha]

This has been going on for probably three months.

[Rachel Cruze]

Three months. How much do y' all bring in a month? Samantha?

[Samantha]

We are 1099, so I don't really know how much we bring in a month. We filed $240,000 last year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why don't you know how much comes in a month? Do you guys have a personal budget that you guys play in your household

[Rachel Cruze]

from or when you look in your checking account,

[Samantha]

it varies. Because one month he probably won't make $10,000, and then the next month he'll make $50,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, okay, so. Wow.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. So I'm, I, I probably won't concentrate on this call just because from a time perspective on his parents situation, that's. That's their thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

What.

[Rachel Cruze]

Who's. Yeah, really in the. What I'm gonna say in the wrong, because he's not agreed with his wife on where their money's going. Is your husband. So what are those conversations? Like what happened did three months ago, he said, hey, mom and dad are falling behind. Can we help? And you're like, yep, absolutely. And he just keeps doing, doing it. Was it even talked about? Did he ask you, like, what happened?

[Samantha]

He asked me. And I'm okay with helping them out.

[Rachel Cruze]

Sure.

[Samantha]

You know, every so often. But my thing is when it's consistently an issue and you're consistently doing it and you don't. They, they don't make up the extra. They don't have to work if they don't want to, is my problem.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so your problem.

[Samantha]

They spend all the money knowing that my husband's going to make up for it.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it's entitlement that you have an issue with. But my question is, you said it's okay one time. Have you. Has he continued to come back to you these other Months and asked. And you've just gone along with it or have you said no and he's done it anyway?

[Samantha]

Oh, I've said no multiple times.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

And $8,000 is a massive gap. Did something happen in their life? Did they lose. Did one of them lose a job? Or what's happened in the last three months where they've needed this money?

[Samantha]

They. They both work. Well.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's happened changed in 2026 because you weren't doing this in 2025. So what changed three months ago? What. What happened in February that caused them to call you?

[Samantha]

I think it's the fact that they just spend all their money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right.

[Samantha]

But every bit of their money.

[Dave Ramsey]

But what changed did you guys.

[Samantha]

That I know of has happened.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, how long have you guys been married?

[Samantha]

Eight years.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how long has the business been doing well?

[Samantha]

Probably about two years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Something. Either they got wind of the fact that the business was doing well, something changed, that suddenly this has become kind of just like a vending machine for them. But the good news is, to Rachel's point, that's neither here nor there. You get to stop this behavior. And either something's going on with your parents that your husband is not letting you know that you're just unaware of, or it's just as simple as saying, I don't want to do this anymore. And you setting up that boundary with your husband of saying, I've said no to this. I've said no to this on multiple occasions. You've continued to do this anyway. You're completely disrespecting me, and I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna have that right. So that conversation needs to happen immediately. Otherwise it's gonna be you guys against each other.

[Rachel Cruze]

Because at this point, that's a marriage issue, Samantha, between you and your husband, that he doesn't list, that he doesn't respect what you're talking about, and that there's no. It doesn't sound like there's a back and forth. Because I'm not saying every husband has to be like, okay, whatever, to his wife. Do whatever you want. And same with the wife that she doesn't need to look at her husband like, whatever you want. No. There could be some back and forth here, but it's the stonewalled. No, I'm just gonna do this with our money and the action of it without any level of your buy in. Because, yeah, it's eight grand a month happening. And so. And the problem is that he needs to understand is that throwing money at a situation that isn't changing to your point is not helping them. It's not. Because this will continue to be a pattern for the rest of their lives if they had anything to do with it, is what it sounds like. It's one. And again, I'm not against helping family. Right. Like if they had a medical issue or there was a job loss and you could financially fill in the gap and you wanted to, that's great.

[Samantha]

There's been no job loss.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are they?

[Samantha]

50s, mid-50s?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. That's crazy. And they have jobs, you said. So I. If I'm you, I'm sitting down with my husband tonight and I'm saying here's

[Samantha]

my thing is I say I'm a stay at home mom, so I stay with our children. So my husband is the only person that brings in the money.

[Rachel Cruze]

Doesn't matter. Samantha, it's your household. You're both married. You both are.

[Samantha]

That's what I'm saying.

[Rachel Cruze]

Does he hold that over you?

[Samantha]

I'm tired. No. No.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, good.

[Samantha]

We have agreed, you know, that we've done it too many times recently, but I feel like it's going to happen again whenever it. They're just going to keep on and keep on and keep on and asking him. And I feel like it's just going to continue to go on even after we talked about it and said no.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that. And that's my question. I wanted to know why, when we pushed you on that, why you brought up the fact that you're a stay at home mom. I want to understand that a little bit more. Do you feel like you don't have the right to say or do you feel like he has the right to make the choice to.

[Samantha]

He doesn't. He. He pretty much asked me because I pretty much. He includes me on everything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Huh.

[Samantha]

Except for this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, but.

[Samantha]

And I don't feel like I don't want to say I'm not included.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, it sounds like you're not included. I mean, it sounds like he tells you what he's gonna do and that's

[Samantha]

the inclusion behind my back. It's been behind my back the last two times.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, he hasn't even told you when he's doing it. You just found out.

[Samantha]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not included.

[Rachel Cruze]

So you got a husband. You know, Samantha, you have a breakdown in your marriage of communication, of trust, of. Of any level of unity. And he's done this. He just eroded trust. Right. Which in my opinion is even worse than being like, I'm gonna do this and it's out in the open.

[Samantha]

Absolutely.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's the secrecy, and it's the behind your back. So, Samantha. Yeah. This is a marriage issue at this point, and I would raise some red flags, and you may feel like, oh, it may not be that big of a deal. Gosh, am I being too much? No, this is a big deal.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's a very big deal.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's $16,000 without you knowing. And so to me, that's a communication and marriage breakdown. And you guys may need to go pull in a therapist, a marriage therapist, just to talk about not just the money portion again, but how we got here in our marriage, that he didn't feel the ability to come to you, and or he didn't. And we need to tackle those issues.

[Dave Ramsey]

Create your free every dollar budget today.

[Rachel Cruze]

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