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Dave Ramsey
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Samantha
I wanted to know what I can do to help my husband stop financially helping his parents.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, boy.
Rachel Cruze
Oh, we gotta help your husband help his parents. Okay, so what's going on?
Samantha
Yeah, so my husband is a contractor in Birmingham, and his. We, we have a small business and he makes good money, but his parents tend to kind of fall back where they need to whenever they know that he'll kind of just make up. Make up the back end.
Dave Ramsey
Like, how much, how much is he giving him every month?
Samantha
A lot of money. Like $8,000 a month.
Dave Ramsey
Holy smokes.
Rachel Cruze
But your, your husband is giving his parents $8,000 a month?
Samantha
Just about.
Dave Ramsey
For how long? How long's that been going on?
Samantha
This has been going on for probably three months.
Rachel Cruze
Three months. How much do y' all bring in a month? Samantha?
Samantha
We are 1099, so I don't really know how much we bring in a month. We filed $240,000 last year.
Dave Ramsey
Why don't you know how much comes in a month? Do you guys have a personal budget that you guys play in your household
Rachel Cruze
from or when you look in your checking account,
Samantha
it varies. Because one month he probably won't make $10,000, and then the next month he'll make $50,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, okay, so. Wow.
Rachel Cruze
Okay. So I'm, I, I probably won't concentrate on this call just because from a time perspective on his parents situation, that's. That's their thing.
Dave Ramsey
What.
Rachel Cruze
Who's. Yeah, really in the. What I'm gonna say in the wrong, because he's not agreed with his wife on where their money's going. Is your husband. So what are those conversations? Like what happened did three months ago, he said, hey, mom and dad are falling behind. Can we help? And you're like, yep, absolutely. And he just keeps doing, doing it. Was it even talked about? Did he ask you, like, what happened?
Samantha
He asked me. And I'm okay with helping them out.
Rachel Cruze
Sure.
Samantha
You know, every so often. But my thing is when it's consistently an issue and you're consistently doing it and you don't. They, they don't make up the extra. They don't have to work if they don't want to, is my problem.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so your problem.
Samantha
They spend all the money knowing that my husband's going to make up for it.
Dave Ramsey
So it's entitlement that you have an issue with. But my question is, you said it's okay one time. Have you. Has he continued to come back to you these other Months and asked. And you've just gone along with it or have you said no and he's done it anyway?
Samantha
Oh, I've said no multiple times.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Rachel Cruze
And $8,000 is a massive gap. Did something happen in their life? Did they lose. Did one of them lose a job? Or what's happened in the last three months where they've needed this money?
Samantha
They. They both work. Well.
Rachel Cruze
What's happened changed in 2026 because you weren't doing this in 2025. So what changed three months ago? What. What happened in February that caused them to call you?
Samantha
I think it's the fact that they just spend all their money.
Dave Ramsey
Right.
Samantha
But every bit of their money.
Dave Ramsey
But what changed did you guys.
Samantha
That I know of has happened.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, how long have you guys been married?
Samantha
Eight years.
Dave Ramsey
And how long has the business been doing well?
Samantha
Probably about two years.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Something. Either they got wind of the fact that the business was doing well, something changed, that suddenly this has become kind of just like a vending machine for them. But the good news is, to Rachel's point, that's neither here nor there. You get to stop this behavior. And either something's going on with your parents that your husband is not letting you know that you're just unaware of, or it's just as simple as saying, I don't want to do this anymore. And you setting up that boundary with your husband of saying, I've said no to this. I've said no to this on multiple occasions. You've continued to do this anyway. You're completely disrespecting me, and I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna have that right. So that conversation needs to happen immediately. Otherwise it's gonna be you guys against each other.
Rachel Cruze
Because at this point, that's a marriage issue, Samantha, between you and your husband, that he doesn't list, that he doesn't respect what you're talking about, and that there's no. It doesn't sound like there's a back and forth. Because I'm not saying every husband has to be like, okay, whatever, to his wife. Do whatever you want. And same with the wife that she doesn't need to look at her husband like, whatever you want. No. There could be some back and forth here, but it's the stonewalled. No, I'm just gonna do this with our money and the action of it without any level of your buy in. Because, yeah, it's eight grand a month happening. And so. And the problem is that he needs to understand is that throwing money at a situation that isn't changing to your point is not helping them. It's not. Because this will continue to be a pattern for the rest of their lives if they had anything to do with it, is what it sounds like. It's one. And again, I'm not against helping family. Right. Like if they had a medical issue or there was a job loss and you could financially fill in the gap and you wanted to, that's great.
Samantha
There's been no job loss.
Dave Ramsey
How old are they?
Samantha
50s, mid-50s?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. That's crazy. And they have jobs, you said. So I. If I'm you, I'm sitting down with my husband tonight and I'm saying here's
Samantha
my thing is I say I'm a stay at home mom, so I stay with our children. So my husband is the only person that brings in the money.
Rachel Cruze
Doesn't matter. Samantha, it's your household. You're both married. You both are.
Samantha
That's what I'm saying.
Rachel Cruze
Does he hold that over you?
Samantha
I'm tired. No. No.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, good.
Samantha
We have agreed, you know, that we've done it too many times recently, but I feel like it's going to happen again whenever it. They're just going to keep on and keep on and keep on and asking him. And I feel like it's just going to continue to go on even after we talked about it and said no.
Dave Ramsey
And that. And that's my question. I wanted to know why, when we pushed you on that, why you brought up the fact that you're a stay at home mom. I want to understand that a little bit more. Do you feel like you don't have the right to say or do you feel like he has the right to make the choice to.
Samantha
He doesn't. He. He pretty much asked me because I pretty much. He includes me on everything.
Dave Ramsey
Huh.
Samantha
Except for this.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, but.
Samantha
And I don't feel like I don't want to say I'm not included.
Dave Ramsey
Well, it sounds like you're not included. I mean, it sounds like he tells you what he's gonna do and that's
Samantha
the inclusion behind my back. It's been behind my back the last two times.
Rachel Cruze
Oh, he hasn't even told you when he's doing it. You just found out.
Samantha
Right.
Dave Ramsey
Not included.
Rachel Cruze
So you got a husband. You know, Samantha, you have a breakdown in your marriage of communication, of trust, of. Of any level of unity. And he's done this. He just eroded trust. Right. Which in my opinion is even worse than being like, I'm gonna do this and it's out in the open.
Samantha
Absolutely.
Rachel Cruze
It's the secrecy, and it's the behind your back. So, Samantha. Yeah. This is a marriage issue at this point, and I would raise some red flags, and you may feel like, oh, it may not be that big of a deal. Gosh, am I being too much? No, this is a big deal.
Dave Ramsey
It's a very big deal.
Rachel Cruze
It's $16,000 without you knowing. And so to me, that's a communication and marriage breakdown. And you guys may need to go pull in a therapist, a marriage therapist, just to talk about not just the money portion again, but how we got here in our marriage, that he didn't feel the ability to come to you, and or he didn't. And we need to tackle those issues.
Dave Ramsey
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Rachel Cruze
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The Ramsey Show Highlights | May 22, 2026
Host: Dave Ramsey
Co-Host: Rachel Cruze
Caller: Samantha
In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze answer a call from Samantha, who is deeply concerned about her husband's ongoing decision to financially support his parents with a significant sum each month. The conversation quickly moves beyond finances, delving into issues of marital communication, trust, and boundaries, as Samantha reveals her husband has overridden her objections and acted in secrecy regarding large amounts of money given to his parents. Dave and Rachel offer advice on both the practical and relational aspects of facing this situation.
This episode powerfully showcases the intersection between financial decisions and marital health. Both Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze prioritize honest communication, mutual respect, and clear boundaries about money in marriage—emphasizing these over the actual dollars involved. Listeners gain insight not only into how to say “no” to financially dependent relatives, but how essential it is to maintain unity and transparency with a spouse. The advice is firm, practical, and compassionate, encouraging Samantha (and anyone listening) to address deeper relationship issues before attempting to solve the financial ones.