My Husband Lost $350,000 Day Trading

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: My Husband Lost $350,000 Day Trading
Date: February 23, 2026
Main Theme:
A woman named Kate calls in confronting the fallout after discovering her husband secretly amassed—and lost—$350,000 in loans through day trading. As she grapples with the financial, legal, and marital implications, Ramsey Network hosts provide urgent, actionable guidance for reclaiming financial safety and beginning the emotional process of trust repair.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Caller’s Situation: Shock and Betrayal

• Kate (the caller): Stay-at-home mom with a one-year-old and another baby due. Recently discovered her husband lost $350,000, all acquired via secret loans for day trading.—[00:06]
• The losses and deceit spanned their entire marriage, and she just learned the full extent days ago.—[00:59]
• Kate’s husband is self-employed in excavation; his successful business enabled the large loans.—[01:11]

2. Legal, Financial, and Emotional Repercussions

• Hosts (including Dr. John Delony and Rachel Cruze):
  • Clarify that if her husband misrepresented the loan purpose (taking business loans and using them for personal gambling/day trading), this potentially qualifies as fraud.—[01:54]
  • Bankruptcy is inevitable given the scale of the debt and their $60,000 annual household income.—[02:42]
  • Immediate concern: "The world you knew as of like two weeks ago doesn't exist anymore. The integrity of the man you anchored your life to doesn't exist anymore. Owning that reality is really important." (Dr. Delony, [03:10])

3. Practical Steps for Self-Protection

• Establish Financial Independence:

  • Open a separate checking account; split her husband's paycheck 50/50 into each spouse's account.—[04:55]
  • Gain logins to every financial account, freeze her own and her child’s credit to prevent further unauthorized borrowing.—[05:41], [06:21]
  • "I would want every login information. I would have every account. I would freeze his credit so he can't go and borrow more for years." (Rachel Cruze, [05:41])

• Marital Safety vs. Practical Constraints:

  • Due to child care costs and her pregnancy, getting an outside job might not be practical or net positive for the family right now.—[05:41]
  • Focus instead on “rebuilding your own side of your finances” and maximizing safety for herself and her children.—[05:42]

4. Rebuilding Trust and Navigating Uncertainty

• Hosts' Advice on Trust and Transparency:
  • Emphasize this as a case of “financial infidelity” and compare accepting financial advice from her husband now to “taking dating advice from a cheating spouse.”—[03:36], [04:17]
  • Warn that she should expect further revelations: “I would predict that there are going to be waves of you uncovering and finding things out.” (Dr. Delony, [07:43])
  • Urge her to set a small, clear roadmap for rebuilding trust—requesting full transparency and clear, actionable steps, reviewed week by week.—[07:43]

5. Protecting Assets and Preparing for Bankruptcy

• Asset Review:
  • Check if retirement accounts (401K, Roth IRA) are safe; accounts in her name alone may be more protected.—[07:21]
  • “I would get as much information as you can to have access to what you need to get to if the time comes.” (Rachel, [07:35])

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “The world you knew as of like two weeks ago doesn't exist anymore. The integrity of the man you anchored your life to doesn't exist anymore.”
  —Dr. John Delony, [03:10]

• “That's like your spouse cheating on you and then giving you dating advice.”
  —Dr. John Delony, [04:17]

• “We call it financial infidelity.”
  —Rachel Cruze, [04:35]

• “I would predict that there are going to be waves of you uncovering and finding things out.”
  —Dr. John Delony, [07:43]

• “For you. And you're expecting, right? A baby, correct?...I would go down to the bank and get a separate checking account... you need to start rebuilding your own side of your, of the finances in marriage.” —Rachel Cruze, [04:52]–[05:42]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:06] — Kate introduces her crisis: $350,000 lost in day trading by her husband.
• [01:11] — Explanation of how the loans were acquired.
• [01:54] — Hosts discuss legal risk and possible fraud.
• [02:42] — Discussion of bankruptcy as only option.
• [03:10] — Emotional impact; “the world you knew doesn’t exist anymore.”
• [04:17] — “Financial infidelity” and trust analogies.
• [04:55] — Step-by-step advice for protecting herself financially (open new account, split paycheck).
• [05:41] — Freezing credit, getting account logins, and minimizing future risk.
• [07:21] — Protecting retirement assets; asset logins.
• [07:43] — Trust repair as a gradual, structured process; expect more revelations.

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Summary

This intense episode unpacks the intersecting fallout of financial devastation, legal jeopardy, and marital betrayal. The hosts gently but firmly guide Kate through her next steps: prioritizing immediate self-protection, demanding transparency, and preparing for ongoing waves of difficult truth. The discussion offers practical tools and a compassionate roadmap for listeners facing any form of financial infidelity, balancing expert advice with deep empathy and candor.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I'm a stay at home mom. I have a one year old and I have another baby due in July. I've been married four years and my husband just sat down with me in the last two weeks and revealed to me that he took out $350,000 in loans and he lost it all. He was using it to invest in day trading. And so it was a real, real shock to me. I just would like some direction from you guys or some answers as to what you think I should do in all aspects. Should I get a job? You know, marriage advice, stuff like that.

[C]

God, Kate, I'm so sorry. When did, when did you find this out?

[B]

It was a little over a week ago.

[C]

How did you find out? Did he, did he come to you and tell you or did you find something?

[B]

He came to me and told me and I did discover that it has been going on our whole marriage. I just found that out last night.

[D]

So before, where was he getting these loans from?

[B]

So my husband is self employed. He started his own business like two years ago and he has, his business has done really well and we would have been fine. Like our business was successful. He does excavation and I don't know, I'm still not at the bottom of, you know, the purpose of doing that. But anyway, his business was doing really well and so that's why he was able to get such loans. That makes sense.

[D]

So he used he take out business loans? Yes. He told banks, I'm borrowing this money from my business. And then he day traded it. So he committed a crime too.

[B]

I wasn't aware that was a crime.

[D]

It's fraud.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

If I go to a bank and say, hey, I want to open a restaurant and they go cool. And they give me money for my restaurant and I go day trade it. Yeah, that's fraud.

[B]

I'm not sure if it's a business loan. I just know he has three loans and I know the names of the places he has them through.

[C]

So you don't know if it's like a personal loan or a small business loan?

[B]

I know that some of them are. I think they're.

[D]

I mean they'll all be personal.

[C]

Yeah, but you're not taking it out on the business. To John's point.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Gosh, Kate, how much do you guys make a year?

[B]

He pays himself as a W2 employee with his company and he. 60,000 a year is how he does it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

We will be filing bankruptcy in markets not even Optional. There's no way out.

[C]

Yeah. Have you guys spoken to an attorney?

[B]

We have. And that was, that was the question I had. Should I get a job? My husband doesn't think it's in my best interest to get a job because he thinks it actually might hurt the situation more than help it.

[C]

Because you're what, like showing more income or something?

[B]

Because we file our taxes jointly and so he thinks that's going to increase our household income.

[D]

Dude, you're so far past that situation. Here's what you have. Here's what getting a job would do for you right now. Like, the world you knew as of like two weeks ago doesn't exist anymore. The integrity of the man you anchored your life to doesn't exist anymore. And like, you owning that reality is really important.

[B]

I understand that.

[D]

And taking money advice and, well, it's gonna bracket us from the person that just did that. That's like. That's like your spouse cheating on you and then giving you dating advice.

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[D]

That's like. That's like your spouse cheating on you and then giving you dating advice. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm not taking that, that kind of advice from you in this moment right now.

[B]

Well, you guys are much smarter, wiser than I. So what do you have? This? I.

[D]

We call it financial infidelity.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So, Kate, if I were you, I would be. I would be separating everything right now because this part of your marriage no longer has trust. Right. And John can talk about what it looks like to rebuild that, but for you. And you're expecting, right? A baby, correct?

[B]

Yes. And I already have a one year old.

[C]

Yeah, probably. Like what I would probably do today is I would go down to the bank and get a separate checking account. And when he pays himself, I would split it 50, 50 and just have your own money in an account for right now. And then you guys need to look at what it looks like going forward because for you to. What John's saying is like creating safety for you, Kate, is what I'm looking for here in a financial situation now you having a baby and being pregnant like that, I mean it does, it adds so many complexities because do you go and put the kid in daycare and try to get a part time job? I mean realistically like you know, probably not like daycare is going to cost as much as, you know. I mean I know how expensive that stuff is. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So looking at it. So what I would do probably right now is I would tell him I need 50% of the paycheck and I'm having my own account because you need to start rebuilding your own side of your, of the finances in marriage. And then unless you guys can get to a point where you are rebuilding your marriage and the trust of the money comes after all of that. But you're gonna probably be in a holding pattern for a bit. And I wouldn't, I would want every login information. I would have every account. I would freeze his credit so he can't go and borrow more for years.

[D]

Freeze yours too.

[C]

Freeze yours. Your child's too. People take out loans and their kids names and commit fraud that way. And, and the thing with what he's done and I don't obviously we don't know him but. And John, you probably could speak to this way better than I could. But when you find yourself in a hole that deep, you almost become crazy. Like you start to like make decisions that aren't even rational to out of the freak out of trying to get yourself out of this much.

[D]

You go into survival. You don't, you're not thinking anymore.

[C]

Yeah. There's no rational. So, so him like it's not excuse.

[D]

It's not excuse but it's a context.

[C]

Yeah. So like him taking money out on one year old, most people are like that would be crazy. I'm like yeah, but he would be in that desperate situation that he'd probably go and do things like that. Right. So you're just trying to at. I would put as much protection around yourself from a cash flow perspective that's realistic and that he can't tap into anything else. And I would, yeah, I mean I would make sure you have every login account. Do you guys have. I mean. Yeah. Do you have investments? I mean all like when you file bankruptcy they're going to be taking it so much.

[B]

Like do they talk about like your like what investments?

[C]

As far as like 401k Roth IRAs, do you guys have any of those?

[B]

He does. Okay, so I have one but it's just in my name, so they're not going to touch it because all the loans are in his name, not mine.

[C]

So I would have, I would even get.

[D]

I don't know if that's how that

[C]

works, the login information on all of that. Like Junior, I would get as much information as you can to have access to what you need to get to if the time comes.

[D]

And you, you just explained it. You learned something two weeks ago and then you found something out last night. I, I think I can probably count on one hand the number of times somebody has come forward with a spouse and said, hey, I screwed up, I've been cheating, I screwed up with our money, I haven't been employed for a year, whatever, and they get the whole story the first time out. So for you, I would guess that there are. I would, I would predict that there are going to be waves of you uncovering and finding things out. And so the conversation you begin with your husband starts like this. You, husband have burned our trust to the ground. For the next seven days, Here's a roadmap that I want you to follow that we can start practicing in teeny, tiny, tiny little ways to rebuild trust. I want every login, I want our credit reports, I want. I want my own checking account. And then seven days from now, we're gonna get. You're gonna give him another roadmap, very clear that he can follow, and then he gets to decide whether he's gonna follow that or not.

[A]

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