My Husband Walked Out And Left Me Drowning In Debt

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: "My Husband Walked Out And Left Me Drowning In Debt"
Date: July 8, 2026

This episode centers on a caller, Jessica, who finds herself financially and emotionally overwhelmed after her husband of 16 years left her and their four children, refusing to provide any financial support while the family faces mounting debt and the threat of foreclosure. The Ramsey team—presumed here to include Dave Ramsey (A) and Dr. John Delony (C)—provides direct, practical, and empathetic advice on navigating both the financial and personal realities Jessica faces.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Jessica’s Situation: Debt, Abandonment, and Uncertainty

• Background: Jessica has been married for 16 years, has four children, and is considering divorce after her husband walked out, leaving her with $48,000 in debt and a mortgage in default ([00:06]-[00:32]).
• Income: Jessica earns ~$30,000/year as a school employee. Her husband has been unemployed since December and is out of state, allegedly starting a business but not sending any money home ([00:35]-[00:53]).
• Marriage Status: Although her husband briefly returned for the kids' birthdays claiming he doesn’t want a divorce, his actions suggest otherwise—he remains absent, and contact is minimal ([01:09]-[01:29], [01:48]-[01:59]).

2. Expert Interpretation: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

• Dr. John Delony (C) points out that behavior is a language and the husband’s choices—leaving, not communicating, not providing—demonstrate that he has effectively left the marriage and family ([00:57]-[02:15]).
  • Quote: “His actions are not of a man who wants to be married and build a life with somebody. His actions are not of somebody who wants to be a present father.” — Dr. Delony ([02:15])

3. Financial Troubles: Mortgage, Home Value, and Default

• House: The home is worth approximately $430,000, with $403,000 still owed and $15,000 unpaid. Due to unfinished projects, selling would likely be close to break-even ([03:13]-[03:43]).
• Ownership: Only the husband's name is on the house, but the hosts clarify that marital rights should protect Jessica, especially in Texas ([03:43]-[03:59]).
• Default Status: Despite believing she’s in forbearance, the hosts clarify she’s actually in default, as no payments have been made since March ([05:55]-[06:28]).

4. Advice: Facing Hard Decisions and Next Steps

• Sell the House: Strong recommendation to list the house immediately, regardless of unfinished projects, to avoid foreclosure ([06:28]-[07:00]).
  • Quote: “You need to get this house on the market today. You're gonna lose it.” — Dave Ramsey ([06:22])
• Legal Steps: Initiate divorce proceedings; this will help with legal ownership issues and enforce child support ([07:00]-[07:24]).
• Support for the Children: The hosts emphasize the husband’s legal and moral obligation to support his children, stressing that the law will enforce child support regardless of his “business reinvestment” claims ([07:24]-[07:46]).
  • Quote: “Child support doesn’t care if you want to reinvest back into your company. The law doesn’t care. It says you have four children that need to be fed.” — Dave Ramsey ([07:24])
• Emotional Reality: Acknowledgement of Jessica's trauma, with advice to focus on actionable steps rather than therapy talk or internet diagnoses ([04:45]-[05:20]).
  • Quote: “Forget the diagnostics, forget the trauma... The question you gotta ask yourself… What are you going to do now?” — Dr. Delony ([05:20])

5. Empathy and Validation

• The hosts repeatedly express empathy, recognizing both the emotional pain and the practical challenges Jessica faces:
  • “I hate this for you.” — Dr. Delony ([01:48], [07:46])
  • “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think you’re done, hun.” — Dave Ramsey ([08:12])

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Facing the Truth:
  • “I think it's metabolizing this awful, heartbreaking truth. He left you.” — Dave Ramsey ([02:29])
• On Integrity:
  • “This is not a person of integrity... I promise you he hasn’t told you the truth about everything over the course of 16 years. Is that true?” — Dr. Delony ([04:02])
• On Action:
  • “The only person you can control right now is you. And I feel like you’re attached to a weight that’s pulling you underwater.” — Dr. Delony ([04:30])

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Important Timestamps

• Jessica’s Background & Debt: [00:06]-[00:32]
• Income Details / Husband’s Absence: [00:35]-[00:53]
• Marriage Counseling Session/Walkout: [01:09]-[01:29]
• Expert Assessment of Husband’s Actions: [01:57]-[02:23]
• Home Value and Ownership: [03:13]-[03:59]
• Revelation about Mortgage Default: [05:55]-[06:28]
• Immediate Financial Advice/Sell House: [06:28]-[07:00]
• Divorce and Legal Child Support: [07:00]-[07:46]
• Closing Words of Empathy: [08:12]-[08:13]

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Summary Tone and Takeaways

The tone of the episode is direct, compassionate, and pragmatic. The hosts validate Jessica’s emotional struggle but guide her firmly toward urgent financial and legal actions to protect herself and her children. The clear message: Don’t wait for her absent husband to change—take control, seek legal help, and protect her family’s survival.

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Useful Resources:

• “EveryDollar” budget app (briefly mentioned as a tool for moving forward on a new single-income budget).

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Transcript

[A]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[B]

I have been married to my husband 16 years now. We have four kids. I'm contemplating if we should divorce or not. We are completely drowning in debt. Our mortgage is in forbearance. He hasn't filed taxes in three years. It's just like snowball, one thing after the next, right? Like $48,000 in debt. I don't know what to do.

[A]

What do you make?

[B]

I make about 30,000 a year. I work at a school.

[A]

What does he make?

[B]

Well, he's been out of work since December and he told me he was leaving in March to go out of state to work with some friends. And he really hasn't sent me anything.

[C]

Is he still gone?

[B]

Yes, he's still gone.

[C]

So if behavior is a language, as he told you through his actions, I'm leaving you.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, in March we went to our marriage counseling session. We'd been going for six years. And after about five minutes of me talking, he ended up leaving and told me he was done.

[C]

And it sounds like he's followed through on that. He left you. He's left the house.

[B]

I agree. I agree. But then he flew home last week to see our kids for their birthdays and basically was like, I still love you. I don't want to get a divorce. But then he left again and he's been gone for a week and a half now. And I've only heard from him once.

[C]

Yeah, I, I hate this for you. I, I, I think it's just, it sounds to me just as a, as a neutral third party guy, I'm just a dude on the radio. It seems really clear to me what's happened.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And being, being home for a couple of days or one day, seeing the kids, them being excited he got home, you seeing him, kind of surprised I can even go that with him that he liked the idea of that.

[B]

Right.

[C]

But his actions are not of a man who wants to be married and build a life with somebody. His actions are not of somebody who wants to be a present father.

[A]

Is he sending checks?

[C]

No. He didn't send any money?

[B]

No, he hasn't sent me.

[C]

Yes. I think, I think it's metabolizing this awful, heartbreaking truth. He left you.

[A]

You have any idea what he makes?

[C]

Nothing.

[B]

I don't think right now he's not really making anything. He, he told me that he and some friends out of state wanted to start up their own company. And basically all the money that they've been making has Been put back into the company. He. He said that he paid off a few bills in March. I'm sorry, not March, in May, but in reality I paid like 90% of the bills in May and I've paid at least a quarter of them for June. But I can't really afford to continue to pay anything else or mortgage is put into forbearance.

[A]

What is your home? What's your home worth?

[B]

Well, it looks like we still owe 403,000. We bought it for 421, but what's it worth? We owe 15,000. The realtor came by and pretty much said because there's a ton of unfinished projects, he could probably sell it for 430. But he said if we get all

[A]

the projects done, you basically get out of it even.

[B]

Yeah, but I, with having that realtor over, discovered that only his name is on the house.

[A]

I don't think that matters in Texas.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not sure I think you're going

[C]

to be okay on that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you've been married 16 years. I think you have marital rights to that house.

[C]

Yeah. And let, let's back up a little bit. This is not a person of integrity. Your husband, he hadn't paid taxes in three years. I promise you he hasn't told you the truth about everything over the course of 16 years. Is that true?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. So I wouldn't believe him.

[B]

Therapy for six years.

[C]

Yeah, I, I wouldn't believe him. If he suddenly started telling you he's got to reinvest all this money. Here's the truth. You'd have no idea where he is and what he's doing.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

And so all you can deal with is you. The only person you can control right now is you. And I feel like you're, you're attached to a weight that's pulling you underwater. And it, the weight occasionally says I want to swim, but you're the one paying the price for that right now.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, we're completely trauma bonded. He got shot in 2022 and it completely shook our family.

[C]

I got that. I got that. But listen, listen, be very careful. This, be careful of what I would call therapy speak, Internet speak, all that kind of stuff right now.

[A]

The bottom line is your husband's not been home. Yeah. And he's not sending any money home for a long time after he walked out of the marriage counselor's office and said, I'm done and you got four kids. That's real.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's not on TikTok. That's real.

[C]

That's Right.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah.

[C]

And so the question before you is, forget the diagnostics, forget the trauma, but all that stuff. The question you got to ask yourself, and this is a hard one. What are you going to do now?

[B]

Well, that's what I'm calling you for. I can't afford to leave. I can barely afford to take care of me or the kids right now. I can barely afford gas to get myself to go to work right now.

[A]

You could live in a much cheaper place than that house.

[B]

I mean, I'm going to have to. We owe 15,000 on it.

[A]

I know. Yeah. And you're somebody making the payments now, aren't they?

[C]

No, it's in forbearance.

[A]

No forbearance as you make a payment and a half.

[B]

No, we haven't made any payment. We owe.

[A]

That's not forbearance. That's default.

[C]

Are you in foreclosure?

[B]

Well, no. The paperwork that I have, it says forbearance.

[A]

Okay. Forbearance is when you're making your payment, plus some to catch up on your back payments. You are not doing that.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

You're not in forbearance. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You are in. You're in default. How many. How long has it been since y' all paid a payment?

[B]

March.

[A]

Okay, you're in default. You need to get this house on the market today. You're gonna lose it, Right? And then you're gonna get.

[B]

How do I do that when it's in his name? Because I had two realtors come over, and they both told me that all the projects need to be done.

[A]

You're not gonna do the projects. You don't have any money, and you don't have anybody to do the projects. So you put the house on the market, and you need to sell it now, and you need to call him and tell him we're selling the house and that I'm having a divorce. I'm having divorce papers filed on you.

[C]

That may be the only way you can get your name on there is through divorce settlement.

[A]

I'm not sure there's any money. I don't care. I don't know if you want your money. Name on it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's not going to bring enough to cover the bills. And if it does, you know, we'll argue about it then.

[C]

But if she puts on the market and he says, I don't want to sell it from afar, can he do that? If he's his only name on there,

[A]

that'll be up to her divorce attorney.

[C]

Right. Okay.

[A]

To convince him yeah, you may have to get a decree has four children. And by the way, there's child support due and probably alimony. I don't know if they do alimony in Texas or not, but I know they do child support. And so child support doesn't care if you want to reinvest back into your company. Yeah, the law doesn't care. It says you have four children that need to be fed. That's what it says. And since March. That ain't cool. Yeah, any cool.

[C]

And Jessica, can we. For you, man. I hate this. For you.

[A]

Yeah, Daddy needs to be feeding the babies. Time to do it, bud. So you don't get to go off and play with your friends in another land. It's not how this works. You made babies, you get to feed them. That's how. That's how a functioning society works. And we that are functioning will make you do that. And we should. So yeah.

[C]

I'm sorry, Jessica.

[A]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think you're done, hun. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.