My Husband Wants Alcohol In The Budget, I Do Not

Summary

Summary of “My Husband Wants Alcohol In The Budget, I Do Not” – The Ramsey Show Highlights

Release Date: June 1, 2025 | Host: Ramsey Network

---

Introduction

In the episode titled “My Husband Wants Alcohol In The Budget, I Do Not,” part of The Ramsey Show Highlights series, host Dave Ramsey and expert Chris Hogan tackle a listener’s financial dilemma that extends beyond budgeting preferences. This episode delves into the complexities of debt management, spousal cooperation, and prioritizing financial goals within a marriage.

---

Listener's Dilemma: Balancing Budgets and Personal Values

Doris reaches out to the show seeking guidance on a financial disagreement with her husband. She states:

[00:10] Doris: “My husband wants alcohol in the budget, and I don't. I'm just wondering if he can tell me where that would fit in when we're in baby step two.”

Doris and her husband are navigating Baby Step Two, which focuses on paying off debt. While Doris opposes allocating funds for alcohol, viewing it as a potential source for additional debt repayment, her husband disagrees.

---

Analyzing the Root Cause: Beyond the Alcohol Budget

Chris Hogan and Dave Ramsey engage with Doris to uncover the deeper issues at play. Initially, Doris mentions her husband’s proposed alcohol budget:

[00:38] Doris: “He hasn't proposed a budget, but from tracking expenses, it seems to be about $35 to $40 a week. So to me, that's $160 a month. That can go somewhere.”

However, the conversation reveals that the contention may not be solely about alcohol spending. Doris outlines a significant amount of joint and individual debt:

[01:10] Doris: “We have a truck loan, a car loan, a skidoo loan, and then there's also, I guess it's called the home equity loan.”

With total debts amounting to approximately $100,000, including a truck loan of $39,500, a Ski-Doo loan of $13,000, a car loan of $23,000, and a $10,000 credit card debt, the couple faces substantial financial obligations.

Chris Hogan emphasizes that the real issue may be her husband's lack of engagement in their debt repayment plan rather than the specific allocation for alcohol:

[01:06] Chris Hogan: “I think this is about you don't want alcohol in the house. I don't believe you.”

He suggests that Doris perceives her husband's limited involvement as a significant hurdle to their financial progress.

---

Expert Insights: The Importance of Spousal Cooperation

The discussion shifts to the necessity of mutual commitment in financial endeavors. Doris reveals:

[02:15] Doris: “Yes, it needs to go away. So I think I'm also hearing that it's not just an alcohol budget. Then I may. I may change my mind. On this, it sounds like he's not really very engaged.”

Chris Hogan articulates that the core issue is Doris’s husband not being actively involved in tackling their debts:

[03:01] Chris Hogan: “He's just kind of like, eh, well, whatever you want to do, honey, it's okay. And you're like, I got to get rid of this debt.”

He further explains that the alcohol budget is symptomatic of a larger problem—her husband's passive stance towards their shared financial goals.

Doris concurs, highlighting the emotional strain:

[03:55] Doris: “She can't get her hair and nails done anymore. Yeah, we're trying to cut that out.”

Chris Hogan advises that the focus should be on fostering collaborative effort rather than fixating on minor budget items:

[04:57] Chris Hogan: “You need to sit down and talk about how this is stressing you out. And honey, I know it's not stressing you out, and that's why the alcohol thing comes up. Because I really need you to understand and to plug in with me on getting these other debts paid off.”

---

Couples and Debt: Building Wealth Together

The conversation broadens to address the dynamics of married couples dealing with debt. Chris Hogan references a significant study:

[06:50] Chris Hogan: “We have found, we did the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America. We ended up studying 10,167 of them. 80% of them are married. Only 46% of the public is married. So millionaires have a propensity towards being married.”

He emphasizes that successful couples often view each other as teammates in financial endeavors, contributing equally to wealth-building efforts:

[07:40] Chris Hogan: “My spouse was my teammate. Not an impediment towards wealth building. We agreed to some level to where we were all rowing the same direction.”

This underscores the importance of unified financial strategies and mutual support in achieving financial freedom.

---

Key Takeaways

1. Identify Underlying Issues: Disagreements over budgeting may mask deeper financial or emotional disconnects within a marriage.

2. Promote Joint Engagement: Both spouses should actively participate in financial planning and debt repayment to ensure cohesive progress.

3. Prioritize Debt Repayment: Aggressively tackling debts can alleviate financial stress and foster a sense of teamwork.

4. Communicate Openly: Honest discussions about financial goals and stresses are crucial for mutual understanding and support.

5. Teamwork Equals Success: Studies indicate that married couples who view each other as financial partners are more likely to build substantial wealth together.

---

Conclusion

In “My Husband Wants Alcohol In The Budget, I Do Not,” Dave Ramsey and Chris Hogan guide Doris through a nuanced financial disagreement that highlights the significance of spousal cooperation in debt management. By shifting the focus from specific budget items to the broader context of mutual engagement and support, the experts provide actionable advice for couples striving to achieve financial stability and wealth together.

---

Notable Quotes

• “It’s not a money argument. You just don’t want alcohol in the house.” – Chris Hogan [00:17]

• “I'm pretty sure it's not just about $35 a week for beer. It’s symptomatic of his lack of intensity on debt.” – Chris Hogan [03:01]

• “We agreed to some level to where we were all rowing the same direction.” – Chris Hogan [07:40]

---

Additional Resources

For more insights and personalized advice, listeners are encouraged to reach out through Triple 8 at 825-5225 or explore resources on chministries.org.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by chm, a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Learn [e-mail] budget my husband wants to.

[Doris]

Have alcohol in the budget, and I don't. I'm just wondering if he can tell me where that would fit in when we're in baby step two.

[Chris Hogan]

It's not a money argument. You just don't want alcohol in the house.

[Doris]

No, I don't mind him drinking. I just personally never have and don't want to start. But I see it as a good way to cut in the budget to make extra payments onto debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

So seems like, oh, because you're on baby step two.

[Chris Hogan]

Okay, so what is the alcohol budget he is proposing?

[Doris]

He hasn't proposed a budget, but from tracking expenses, it seems to be about $35 to $40 a week. So to me, that's $160 a month. That can go somewhere.

[Chris Hogan]

What's your household income?

[Doris]

It ranges between about 225 and 250 every year.

[Chris Hogan]

I'm going to say it again. I don't think this is about 35 dollars a week. You make 250 freaking thousand dollars.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much debt is that?

[Chris Hogan]

I think this is about you don't want alcohol in the house. I don't believe you.

[Doris]

I really don't have an issue with alcohol. Our debt is pretty high. We have a truck loan, a car loan, a skidoo loan, and then there's also, I guess it's called the home equity loan.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is all that total that would fall into.

[Doris]

Does the home equity loan fall in with the. When we paid the mortgage off or with our debt?

[Chris Hogan]

Is it more than half your annual income? How much is it?

[Doris]

It's about $100,000.

[Chris Hogan]

Okay. It's probably going to be a baby step six. You may need to refinance and get rid of it. I don't know how it works in Canada. What do you owe on the truck?

[Doris]

39,500.

[Chris Hogan]

What do you owe on the sea do, ski do?

[Doris]

We're in Canada. That is about 13,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

13,000. And what other consumer debt Is there another car?

[Doris]

There is a car which is about 23,000. And he has a credit card that is solely in his name that uses like for work and stuff, and that's about 10,000. Now, I do know that would fall to us if ever it came due, which is why I count it.

[Chris Hogan]

Yes, it needs to go away. So I think I'm also hearing that it's not just an alcohol budget. Then I may. I may change my mind. On this, it sounds like he's not really very engaged. He's just tolerating you doing this great. Yeah. I think that's a much bigger problem than $35 a week because he's driving a truck he can't afford. He's driving a truck he can't afford, and you got a toy in the garage you owe 12 grand on. And he just kind of like, eh, well, whatever you want to do, honey, it's okay. And you're like, I got to get rid of this debt. You're leaning in and he's kind of hanging on the outside, just watching, hoping you'll get over this fever you got.

[Doris]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

While he's enjoying a beer.

[Chris Hogan]

Yeah. Yeah. Sipping a beer on the back porch, hoping you'll get over this. Yeah. So I think, I think all of that is much more important than $35 a week for beer. If he was completely engaged, he's like, hey, I probably need to sell this ski. Do I probably need to die? Mainly think about selling the truck or we've got to really tighten up on everything and lean into this. Then the $35 wouldn't bother me. But I think it's symptomatic of his lack of intensity on this or lack of involvement. Involvement with you. And I want him to support you overall a lot more than that. And maybe, maybe it's not. You don't want alcohol in the house. Maybe you're just trying to poke him a little bit to get him like a little, little revenge here. Like, oh, you're not gonna get involved. I'm taking your beer like a husband.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like she can't get her hair and nails done anymore. Yeah, we're trying to cut that out.

[Chris Hogan]

Yeah, we're gonna cut, we're gonna cut out the, the $3 for something now. It's not, that's not the issue. The issue is you guys need to get, you need to sit down and talk about how this is stressing you out. And honey, I know it's not stressing you out, and that's why the alcohol thing comes up. Because I, I really need you to understand and to plug in with me on getting these other debts paid off. And if we, if I can get that $35 a week won't matter.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I would rather have you in this process. Right.

[Chris Hogan]

Like, yeah, that, that's a, that's $5,000 a month is what that is. Getting him involved. And so you stop, you stop your long term investing. You stop eating out, you stop going on vacation. You stop you look at if you need to sell something, if you can't pay it off fast, you need to sell it and that kind of stuff. And you both agreed that this is the best way for us to have a high quality future. We make too much money to be this broke. The plan we've been using sucks. We need a new plan, honey. That's what I've been trying to get you to do. And it all landed on the beer issue. And it's not really a beer issue.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Chris Hogan]

Okay. So it's a little different conclusion. I jumped to conclusions and I was wrong at the verse.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And, you know, we have couples on the debt free stage all the time, and we talk about their journey and there's always kind of the one nerd. And they're like, she got. You know, she was really intense. Or he was. And you know, we. But the idea is like, you're like, there may still be one that's like super, super, super nerding out on all the numbers and so intense. And they would do nothing but literally eat rice and beans. And the other one, you know, may not be as intense, but they're along for the journey. Like, we are locking arms and we're doing this. So just couples out there, as you're working together know, you know, you may not be at the exact same personality type and level, but you're going in the same direction. Right. And in these big moves, especially selling assets like cars and all of that, you have to be on the same page with all of that. Right. To make those big moves. So it's. It's hard.

[Chris Hogan]

Make the kind of progress that goes with that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, totally.

[Chris Hogan]

It's just. It's for you spouses that are out there, if you happen to be listening to this, if you're standing on the edge watching your spouse be intense on the inside, you're disrespecting them. This is someone you love, and it means a lot to them to work on this. You don't have to go as crazy as they are, but you need to get off the edge and get both feet in the boat. Even if you're not gonna row as hard as they're rowing, you need to be on it because it's just. It's disrespectful. And that's what she's facing. So I was picking on you earlier, Doris, and I was wrong about that, about your reason for doing this, but. And I think your real reason is actually a better one. But I don't. I'm not going to give you a ruling on the alcohol. I'm going to give you a ruling on the husband on the fringe. And then the alcohol will solve itself.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Hogan]

And that, that's where we'll go from there. Open phones here at Triple 8, 825-5225. Guys. We have found, we did the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America. We ended up studying 10,000, 167 of them. 80% of them are married. Only 46% of the public is married. So millionaires have a propensity towards being married. And of the millionaires that we studied, the vast majority are married. And the vast majority say, my spouse and I worked on this together. My spouse was my teammate. Not an impediment towards wealth building. We agreed to some level to where we were all rowing the same direction.

[Dave Ramsey]

Heading in the same direction.

[Chris Hogan]

And the boat goes a lot easier when you're doing that and we're on the same page. And my spouse was a blessing. And those kinds of comments are all through the notes on this research. And so that's what we find. It's a high database. The data says it's a higher probability of building wealth in those situations.

[Dave Ramsey]

CHM isn't health insurance, it's a health cost sharing ministry. Check it out for [e-mail] budget.