My Husband Won't Pay Me What I'm Owed From Our Business

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights Episode Title: My Husband Won't Pay Me What I'm Owed From Our Business
Date: January 22, 2026
Host: Ramsey Network
Guests: (Unnamed callers and co-hosts)
Duration: ~9 minutes

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a caller’s marital and business dispute: A wife, who also runs the administrative side of a longstanding family business, feels underappreciated and undercompensated by her husband/business partner. The conversation explores the intersection of fair compensation, proper business structure within marriages, emotional labor, and communication around shifting family and business roles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Background: The Business Arrangement (00:09–02:19)

• Caller (B) explains she and her husband have co-owned a contracting business for 12 years, with her primarily handling paperwork, workers’ comp, and coordination as the business has grown.
• Three years ago, her husband began formally partnering with his brother, splitting large job profits 50/50. Recently, a $200,000 job drastically increased her workload.
• She requested 5–10% of this big job as additional compensation; her husband rejected the idea, saying she’s “a wife that helps out.”
• Notable Quote:

  “I asked for this job if I could get like 5, 10% for me... And he said no, he doesn't feel comfortable doing that because... I'm a wife that helps.” (B, 00:29-00:45)

Caller’s Emotions & Partner’s Perspective (02:19–03:11)

• The caller expresses feelings of being disrespected and disregarded, believing she was an equal business partner, not just someone ‘helping out’.
• One co-host notes:

  “I think this is more about the disappointment of how he views you versus like a money or a business thing. At least that's what I'm hearing.” (C, 01:47)

Financial Structure & Equity Discussion (03:12–04:43)

• The hosts and caller clarify business arrangements: The caller owns 49% on paper but feels involved much less than a partner, while her husband and brother-in-law split job profits evenly.
• They consider whether she should get a cut (and how much), or instead seek a salary, but note the real issue may be respect and recognition.
• Notable Quote:

  “There's two different conversations here. There's what's fair financially for you guys's business, not you and him separately, but the business. And then there's the conversation of how we treat each other with respect within our marriage.” (C, 04:25)

Salary vs. Profit Share: What’s Fair? (04:44–07:24)

• The co-hosts suggest that instead of profit-sharing percentages, a fixed salary or payment for her work might be more straightforward and equitable.
• Example given: In a marriage, business profit is technically shared anyway; formal compensation can clarify roles and provide recognition.
• Notable Quote:

  “If Sam is profiting...$200,000 as profit on the business [...] if I'm helping him out... I'd like for you to write 50 of it in my name. So you make 150 and I make 50. That's me splitting hairs because the 200 is going into our account anyway.” (C, 05:15)

Defining Work and Compensation (07:25–08:38)

• Caller notes her role is not clock-in/clock-out, but ongoing, on-call help.

• Hosts suggest a set monthly/annual amount for specific responsibilities, rather than confusing percentage shares.

• They also recommend the couple honestly assess: If she didn’t do the admin work, would her husband hire someone else? What would that cost? This can frame the fair value of her contribution.

• Notable Quotes:

  “You guys need to figure out what that split is. And it sounds like it needs to be some sort of a set amount, some sort of a commission that you get for the work that you do that's set. And then there's a list of responsibilities that go along with the money…” (C, 06:37)

  “If you weren't there to do the job, would he absorb those responsibilities or would he have to hire out? And that's a really good way to determine.” (C, 08:24)

Recognizing Life Changes and Need for a “Reset Conversation” (08:39–09:09)

• Hosts point out that as life and the family business evolved, the couple never reset expectations or roles formally. The lack of conversation has led to resentment and confusion.
• Urge the caller to have a “hard conversation” with her husband about the proper role and compensation—emphasizing clarity and respect.
• Notable Quote:

  “We just never acknowledge that when you stayed at home... It's easy to let those things slide. And I think we should have had a conversation... it's going to shift now. My brother's going to be stepping in... You will be more of an employee in the business. And here's how that's going to be laid out financially.” (A, 07:48–08:10)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:09–01:47 – Caller describes business history, role, and recent conflict with compensation request
• 01:47–02:19 – Co-hosts identify underlying emotional issues beyond money
• 03:11–04:43 – Discussion of equity, profit splits, and what’s actually fair vs. what’s respectful
• 04:44–07:24 – Salary vs. profit share, clarifying compensation, pitfalls of “splitting hairs”
• 07:25–08:38 – Defining roles, listing duties, practical salary-setting tips
• 08:39–09:09 – Emphasis on the need for a “reset conversation” and addressing life/business role changes

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On fairness vs. feelings:

  “I think this is more about the disappointment of how he views you versus like a money or like a business thing.” (C, 01:47)

• On splitting business profits in marriage:

  “That's me splitting hairs because the 200 is going into our account anyway.” (C, 05:23)

• On updating roles:

  “We just never acknowledge that when you stayed at home...life shifted. I think we should have had a conversation...it's going to shift now...” (A, 07:48–08:10)

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Conclusion

The episode highlights a common challenge for couples in business: When roles shift—due to growing business, new partners, or lifestyle changes—failing to formally revisit expectations and compensation can lead to resentment. The hosts urge direct, honest communication and specific agreements about the value of each person’s work—separating emotional hurt from business logistics for a fair and respectful resolution.

Transcript

[A]

If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey My husband's a.

[B]

Contractor and I'm a stay at home mom. And we've owned our own business for 12 years. And in the last three years he's been partnering with his brother and just splitting profits. 50. 50. And I was okay with that until this recent year. We've got a job that's taking over a year and I do all the paperwork. So I do, I run the business side of it. And so I asked for this job if I could get like 5, 10% for me because I felt like it's a lot more because I've got workers, comp and employees and subcontractors now with this year long job. And he said no, he doesn't feel comfortable doing that because this is where I got a little upset. He said, I'm a wife that helps.

[A]

Out.

[B]

And doing a little bit of paperwork doesn't mean I get a cut of the business.

[C]

Like the full business as a whole. Are you just trying to make, are you trying to get them to pull more salary like payroll for you?

[B]

I mean, no, I mean this job, like we own our own business. It's a small business and we've been, we've been fine. And I technically own 49 of the business. That's what it is on the paperwork.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I do like 10% of it because I just do the paperwork. But I thought I was a business partner. Well, you are arguing about splitting 50, 50 with his brother for, for this big job. He said, no, we can't do that. You're just helping. You're my wife and you're helping me out so I don't have to do the paperwork and I can spend more time with the family. And so, and I just, for the last 12 years I thought I was a business partner. So I just, I think this is.

[C]

I think this is more about, I think this is more about the, the disappointment of how he views you versus like a money or like a business thing. At least that's what I'm hearing.

[A]

You feel disrespected, belittled, like your work doesn't really matter.

[B]

That's at the heart though. Like I do when it's a 20, $30,000 job and it's a few receipts and some hourly work, it's not a big deal to split it 50, 50. But I mean this profit's going to be about $200,000.

[A]

So you want a cut of the.

[B]

Profits I want to, I want a piece of profit because it's a lot more work for me to do a $200,000 or are you paying?

[C]

A question? Yeah. Do you receive a salary? Have you ever received a salary?

[B]

No, it's not a salary. It's our business or partners.

[C]

So the question is, the question is, on a job like that. I hear what you're saying. What you're saying is more emotional. I'm talking about on paper at this point. If they're 50, 50. Are, are your brother, your brother, the, the, the brother and your husband, is that 50, 50 on paper, or is it.

[B]

You're a 50 own contractor, own business. And so they just have a deal that they, when they do jobs together, they split the profit. 50, 50.

[C]

Okay. So my, my thing is this. So you're saying in essence, the profit should be split in thirds.

[B]

And I, I don't think thirds, because I'm, I'm not doing a third of the work.

[C]

You just want.

[B]

10% isn't that much? I asked for 5 to 10%.

[C]

So then the other question is this. Let's, let's just look at it as it is. Just take emotion out of it for a minute.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

The brother, even though they're working on this and they're separate businesses, does the brother have somebody who does the paperwork for him on his side of the business and has all that, and then what, you know, he takes that. Do you see what I'm saying? Both businesses are probably set up similarly. So the other side of this conversation would have been for you to say, husband, if we're doing more work on this, shouldn't we be taking more of the profit? Should this be a 60, 40 split with your brother? Or. Do you see what I'm saying? But it said, because at the end.

[B]

Of the day, you're just a wife helping out.

[A]

Okay, but did he say those words exactly? You're just a wife I'm trying to go after.

[B]

I don't think he said, he said, you're my wife and you helped me out.

[A]

Okay. I just wonder if he was on phone, I feel like he would be like, no, no, here's what I said.

[C]

Because what, what I'm getting at is if the money's going into you guys's pot, it's both of your money. And that's a whole other conversation if you guys don't view it that way, but it's both of your money. What I'm saying is, although what he said sounds disrespectful, I wasn't there, but it sounds disrespectful. There's two different conversations here. There's what's fair financially for you guys's business, not you and him separately, but the business. And then there's the conversation of how we treat each other with respect within our marriage. Does that make sense?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So if the deal. If the deal with the businesses is it's a 50, 50 split, then that's that deal. Now, then there's a conversation of, well, honey, there's two of us on the payroll. It would benefit both of us possibly if you received a salary or if I. And if I received a salary. Now, if you're trying to split hairs and the salary would remain the same and you guys would just have your names on it differently, I do think that's splitting hairs.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Are you following what I'm saying?

[B]

I think so.

[C]

So it's like, so my husband and I own a business together. And this is true. If the. If. If Sam is profiting, if he takes $200,000 as profit on the business. Right. Let's say I'm staying home with the kids. That's our money. It's our profit. Now, if I'm helping him out and I say, oh, the $200,000, it feels weird. That zero of that is, like, written in my name. I. I'd like for you to write 50 of it in my name. So you make 150 and I make 50. That's me splitting hairs because the 200 is going into our account anyway. Now, if I said, sam, I've been thinking, you know, you're working and I'm working. If there's room, I probably should take a salary, too. It's good for all of us. It's good for the business if we're making more and we can profit more into our pocket. So for the work I'm doing, maybe you can pay me, you know, $30,000 a year on top of your 200,000. That's a conversation to have based on the work.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it doesn't have anything to do with the other vendors.

[B]

Yeah, it was, though. He asked. He's like, well, what if we do hourly? But the problem is it's a random phone call here and there. Or it's, hey, can you pick up this. These supplies? Can you go grab the trailer? Can you go grab the cement? So it's just random thing. It's not a clock in, clock out thing I do. I just. I'm always on call doing it.

[C]

So it just sounds like There needs to be a set amount. It sounds like there needs to be. You guys need to figure out what that split is. And it sounds like it needs to be some sort of a set amount, some sort of a commission that you get for the work that you do that's set. And then there's a list of responsibilities that go along with the money that you earn in a month. So that could be anything from this.

[B]

This, this, this, that instead of a percentage. Because I asked for a percentage and that's very huge.

[C]

I think percentage is confusing because again, they're viewing it as entity versus entity. Your guys's business with the brother's business, you're not an entity. You're part of part of your business entity. So I think that's what caused the confusion. But if you're just like, hey, put me on the payroll, let's figure out what that means, that's one conversation. I think that's great if you can afford it.

[A]

I think the other part we never ironed out is your life shifted right. When you stay at home. It wasn't the same as it was before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we never had a conversation about what this looks like now. And he views you as, well, she works with the biz on the business, but she's not pulling the weight that me and my brother are. Right.

[B]

Yeah. And that's, that's where he said it. He said that as well.

[A]

And we just never acknowledge that when you stayed at home because you guys, you know, are married and live together. It's easy to let those things slide. And I think we should have had a conversation going, hey, I know that this has been our business. It's going to shift now. My brother's going to be stepping in to shoulder some of the weight of this, and you will be more of an employee in the business. And here's how that's going to be laid out. Financially. I think it's just we need to.

[B]

Reset conversation we never had.

[A]

Exactly. And so maybe that turns into, he pays you a salary or a part time hourly wage and you keep track of how much time you've spent on the business and that's what you're paid. I don't know what that looks like for you guys.

[C]

You also need to find out the other truth of that is if you weren't there to do the job, would he absorb those responsibilities or would he have to hire out? And that's a really good way to determine.

[A]

And what would he have to pay for that person?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because if you don't want to do anymore because you're fed up with it, then just say, I'm not doing. Doesn't change how much you get paid.

[B]

I thought about that, but it just. It would hurt the business.

[A]

Exactly. It's sticking it to the man.

[C]

You're.

[A]

You're sort of, you know, you're. You're hurting yourself in that regard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because if it's truly Yalls money and it goes into the same bank account and you're married, filing jointly, then you're really just hurting yourself to make a point. And I. I would rather you avoid.

[B]

I can't do that. Because then it would just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then a hard conversation is your next step. Laura, I wish you the best. Why Refi Refinances Defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at Y r e f y.com Ramsey.