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Dave Ramsey
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Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
We found y' all through our church, through SPU about a year and a half ago. And we are on baby step four. And my in laws kind of popped this idea to us about six months ago. We have, we bought our house about two years ago and it has a very large unfinished basement. And they have had this idea that when they retire, which is going to be my father in law is retiring at the end of the year, that they want to kind of put some money into our house and finish off our basement for them to kind of be snowbirds to be here, go in the south and then go up north and then eventually kind of transition to living with us in our basement. And I'm not totally against the idea because we have a good relationship. It'd be great for our kids to have grandparents close by. But I'm a little bit concerned about the long term effect of this. You know, they wouldn't really have an ROI putting money into our house.
Rachel Cruze
Do they know that?
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
Yes, we told them that. And my concern is just, you know, like, what happens if we do this? And you know, in five years from now someone has a stroke and now they need more care and a lot of their money is tied up in
Rachel Cruze
our house or you decide to move and take a different job.
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
And my husband said that to them and they kind of were like, oh, well, I guess you just mean that two more people are moving with you.
Rachel Cruze
Oh, boy. Listen, there's a difference between having grandparents close and having them in the basement. That's a major difference.
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
I don't know, like, I want to be, you know, I want to be a good steward of, you know, what we've been given and, you know, to help out how we can. It's more just the long term, you know, we're 33 and.
Rachel Cruze
Listen, hey, I gotta stop you. I gotta stop you because you sound like someone who knows what they want to do, but you don't feel firm enough in it that you're, you're talking yourself in circles about it.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You know, there's not a good idea. But you're afraid you're not being nice and you're, you're classic Southern, bless your heart, you know. Oh, bless your heart. So. No, no, no, no, no. They don't need to move in there. That's a bad idea. There's more downside than upside.
Rachel Cruze
I think. So.
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
Yeah. And they, I just found out too that they got an annuity and I've Got George's book and I heard that like that is not good either. And so I'm concerned about like their financial future and their money.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, I would rather them use their money to buy a nice little condo in your area. And they. That's cheap enough that it doesn't. That they can use it and still snowbird and they can still be around and babysit and see the grandkids, but they have their own life over there and it's not tied into your home
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
and your decisions as we told them. And they said that they don't think they're going to have the money to
Rachel Cruze
move, but that this is a snowbird thing. It's not their primary residence.
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
Yeah, but they want it to be eventually.
Rachel Cruze
Right? But it's not today, which means they have a place somewhere where there's equity building and he is retired from a job. So there should be some sort of retirement, something, some nest egg. I don't know how big or small.
Dave Ramsey
Well, bottom line is whether they've got the money or not doesn't determine whether this is a good idea. As a matter of fact, since they don't have the money, it further ensures that this is not a good idea. If I woke up in your shoes, I would say, mom and dad, we love you. We'd love to have you close, but not that close.
Rachel Cruze
Does your husband agree?
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Dave Ramsey
I would say mom and dad, we love you. We'd love to have you close, but not that close.
Rachel Cruze
Does your husband agree or is he fighting for the in laws?
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
No, he, no, he does. And I think my, my concern is, you know, and we're gonna, we're actually seeing them next month to like really talk about this in more detail. And they base, like I told my husband, like if they, if I find out, you know, they have like $5 million in their next nest egg at 100 grand to drop in our basement, is it maybe a big deal?
Rachel Cruze
But no, Dave is Right. The money side of this.
Dave Ramsey
I don't care how much money they have. I don't care how responsible they are. This is a bad idea because it handcuffs you guys. The exit strategies on this. As you said, if something goes sideways and somebody needs help or whatever, you are stuck once you get in this and there's no way out. And that's the problem with this. And you are not being mean by saying no. We have to figure out some other way that you guys have a sustainable life. That's not mean. It's not mean at all. You're not. You know, you're scared of death. You're not going to be nice because you're a sweet person. You can just be. Just smile and be kind and say no. And you don't need to have the meeting next month either. There's no reason to leave these poor people along. You need to just. Your husband needs to call his mother and say no. You need to stay out of it. He needs to tell her no, not you, because you'll be labeled the Wicked Witch of the west forever. 25 years ago, I wanted to move in her basement and she wouldn't let me. That witch, you know, that's the kind of. That's how that stuff gets wrong.
Rachel Cruze
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
And so that starts a whole narrative then. And you'll get blamed for it. So now make him have a backbone and tell his mommy no and. And don't have a detailed meeting discussing it. I really would. I really would not do this.
Rachel Cruze
I wouldn't do it either, because there's no.
Dave Ramsey
How does this end well? Well, then it doesn't end well.
Rachel Cruze
If you have the meeting, it looks like you're considering it.
Dave Ramsey
I know, I know. And that's not fair. That's not fair. That's. That's not fair at all. And so, you know. No, But. But if you. If they do move in, I can't think of an exit strategy that works unless both of them died in their sleep.
Rachel Cruze
No, everything.
Dave Ramsey
Because other than that, I can't think of a good exit strategy here.
Rachel Cruze
No. And then everything.
Dave Ramsey
Because they need to do that in time for you to move. Yeah. I mean. No, this is just. No, no, no, no. There's going to be aging problems and disability issues and care issues and you all. And boundary issues and. You guys, there's like 99 things that can go wrong and only one that can go right.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. And all the risk is on you guys.
Caller (Concerned Daughter-in-Law)
It's.
Rachel Cruze
There's no risk on them because they get built in the risk.
Dave Ramsey
It's on them as if you sold the house after they did a bunch of improvements.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah, that's true.
Dave Ramsey
That's the risk that's on them. But still it's. They need to use their money more wisely and have a good life. That it's fine to be close by, but we need good, healthy physical boundaries. It's a good thing, man. So, you know, we are now getting calls in the last three years that in 40 years of doing this show, I've not gotten much of parents, much of just this idea of multi generational housing. Yeah, the parents. We're gonna, we're gonna. I mean, I've had the mother in law question. We're gonna build a mother in law apartment. Right. Or we want to add on to our house and she wants to give us $200,000 to do that. And then she's gonna give us that at her death and she's gonna live over there. That question I've had. But now we're seeing this thing of the family compound.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
You know, and, and four families are moving on to one single piece of property and there's no exit. These things, you know, and they're doing it because they think it's more affordable to do it.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
But you guys have got to be real careful. You have to think through what happens in divorce, what happens in disability, what happens in death, what happens when the sister in law across the way starts
Rachel Cruze
doing cocaine, what happens when you decide you just don't like these people?
Dave Ramsey
Well, that could happen. Easy. This is family after all. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.
Title: My In-Laws Want To Move In and I'm Concerned
Date: May 17, 2026
Hosts: Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze
Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
This episode focuses on a tricky family and financial dilemma. A caller seeks advice about her in-laws' desire to invest in finishing the basement of her home and eventually move in as "snowbirds," and perhaps even permanently. While she values her relationship with them, she's feeling uneasy about the long-term risks, financial implications, and loss of autonomy for her young family. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze offer candid, practical advice on navigating boundaries, preserving family harmony, and making wise decisions.
"There's a difference between having grandparents close and having them in the basement. That's a major difference."
"You sound like someone who knows what they want to do, but you don't feel firm enough in it that you're talking yourself in circles about it."
"No, no, no, no, no. They don't need to move in there. That's a bad idea. There's more downside than upside."
"Whether they've got the money or not doesn't determine whether this is a good idea. As a matter of fact, since they don't have the money, it further ensures that this is not a good idea. If I woke up in your shoes, I would say, mom and dad, we love you. We'd love to have you close, but not that close."
"I don't care how much money they have. I don't care how responsible they are. This is a bad idea because it handcuffs you guys."
"He needs to tell her no, not you, because you'll be labeled the Wicked Witch of the West forever."
[06:10] Rachel Cruze:
"If you have the meeting, it looks like you're considering it."
[06:14] Dave expands on the risks:
"If they do move in, I can't think of an exit strategy that works unless both of them died in their sleep."
[06:34] Dave:
"There’s like 99 things that can go wrong and only one that can go right."
[06:53] Rachel Cruze summarizes:
"All the risk is on you guys."
"You have to think through what happens in divorce, what happens in disability, what happens in death, what happens when the sister-in-law across the way starts doing cocaine, what happens when you decide you just don't like these people?"
[01:38] Rachel Cruze:
“There’s a difference between having grandparents close and having them in the basement. That’s a major difference.”
[02:11] Dave Ramsey:
“No, no, no, no, no. They don’t need to move in there. That’s a bad idea. There’s more downside than upside.”
[04:48] Dave Ramsey on family handcuffs:
“This is a bad idea because it handcuffs you guys. The exit strategies on this... you are stuck once you get in this and there’s no way out.”
[05:17] Dave Ramsey on boundaries:
“Your husband needs to call his mother and say no. You need to stay out of it. He needs to tell her no, not you, because you’ll be labeled the Wicked Witch of the West forever.”
[06:34] Dave Ramsey:
“There’s like 99 things that can go wrong and only one that can go right.”
[07:02] Dave Ramsey on family compounds:
“Now we’re seeing this thing of the family compound... and four families are moving onto one single piece of property and there’s no exit.”
For listeners facing similar dilemmas:
End of Content Summary.