My Kid Makes $180,000 and Still Wants Us to Help Out Financially

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights Episode: My Kid Makes $180,000 and Still Wants Us to Help Out Financially
Release Date: August 7, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Duration: Approximately 8 minutes and 45 seconds

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, host Dave Ramsey addresses a caller, Josephine, who is grappling with a common dilemma: whether to financially support her adult children despite their substantial income. The conversation delves into the complexities of parental financial assistance, especially when adult children appear financially capable yet continue to seek help.

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Understanding the Issue

Caller’s Dilemma: Josephine explains to Dave Ramsey that she and her husband are in disagreement about providing financial gifts to their children. One parent believes they've been generous enough and it's time for their children to become financially independent. Conversely, the other parent feels grateful for their financial stability and wants to extend assistance if possible.

• Josephine (00:06): “My husband and I are in disagreement about whether or not to gift one of our kids money...”

Ramsey’s Initial Assessment: Dave Ramsey promptly critiques both approaches, stating that neither parent is addressing what’s best for the children in the long term.

• Dave Ramsey (00:36): “You know why? Because neither one of you said what's best for this kid over the next 20 years.”

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Deep Dive into the Financial Situation

Children’s Financial Status: Josephine reveals that their children earn approximately $180,000 annually but continue to request financial assistance. They are burdened with significant student loan debt and are struggling with vehicle expenses despite their income.

• Josephine (02:20): “Their income is about 180 a year.”

• Dave Ramsey (02:25): “They make $180,000 a year, and they're pissing their money away.”

Ramsey’s Analysis: Ramsey is taken aback by the high income paired with financial mismanagement. He highlights the inconsistency between their earnings and spending behavior, emphasizing the lack of financial discipline.

• Dave Ramsey (02:57): “He's not paying on them. He's waiting on Biden. Oh, wait, Biden's not president anymore.”

Living Situation: The children live in Michigan, an area with a lower cost of living, which makes their financial struggles even more perplexing given their substantial income.

• Josephine (03:21): “They live in Michigan, so they're not in a place where the cost of living is super high.”

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Ramsey’s Recommendations

Rejecting Direct Financial Aid: Dave Ramsey firmly opposes the idea of giving the children a lump sum of $30,000, equating it to enabling bad financial habits.

• Dave Ramsey (03:43): “Giving them $30,000 is definitely giving a drunk a drink.”

Promoting Financial Responsibility: Instead of handing over money, Ramsey advocates for empowering the children to manage their finances responsibly through education and incentivized financial planning.

• Dave Ramsey (04:28): “Beans and Rice. Rice and Beans. Get on a budget. Quit going out to eat. Quit going on vacations you can't afford.”

Structured Financial Assistance: Ramsey proposes a matching strategy where he would contribute additional funds contingent upon the children taking positive financial actions, such as budgeting, saving for a car, or paying down student loans.

• Dave Ramsey (05:54): “I would match them. I would match them. If you will save up 10,000 or $5,000 for a car, I'll put $5,000 with it.”

Educational Support: He further suggests enrolling the children in Financial Peace University to instill sustainable financial habits.

• Dave Ramsey (06:28): “I'll give you Financial Peace University to give to them if you could talk them into doing it.”

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Balancing Parental Intervention and Encouragement

Unified Parental Approach: Ramsey emphasizes the importance of both parents being aligned in their approach to financial assistance to avoid conflicting messages that could undermine the children’s financial growth.

• Dave Ramsey (07:04): “You got to have peace of your house. Because y' all are still arguing about.”

Long-Term Prosperity: The ultimate goal, as Ramsey outlines, is to foster habits and systems that lead to long-term financial prosperity for the children, rather than providing temporary relief that may perpetuate financial irresponsibility.

• Dave Ramsey (07:32): “You want them fishing for life, not fish for a day.”

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Key Takeaways

1. Evaluate Long-Term Impact: When considering financial assistance to adult children, it's crucial to focus on what will benefit them in the long run rather than immediate gratification.

2. Promote Financial Education: Encouraging or requiring participation in financial education programs like Financial Peace University can equip children with the tools to manage their finances effectively.

3. Incentivize Responsible Behavior: Implementing a matching system for positive financial actions can motivate children to adopt better financial habits without fostering dependency.

4. Unified Parental Strategy: Parents should present a cohesive front in their approach to financial assistance to provide clear and consistent guidance to their children.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dave Ramsey (00:36): “You know why? Because neither one of you said what's best for this kid over the next 20 years.”

• Dave Ramsey (02:25): “They make $180,000 a year, and they're pissing their money away.”

• Dave Ramsey (03:43): “Giving them $30,000 is definitely giving a drunk a drink.”

• Dave Ramsey (05:54): “I would match them. If you will save up 10,000 or $5,000 for a car, I'll put $5,000 with it.”

• Dave Ramsey (07:32): “You want them fishing for life, not fish for a day.”

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dave Ramsey provides a candid look into the challenges of extending financial help to adult children who, despite earning a substantial income, continue to seek assistance. His approach underscores the importance of fostering financial independence through education, incentivized responsibility, and unified parental strategies, ensuring that assistance leads to lasting financial health rather than temporary relief.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Josephine]

My husband and I are in disagreement about whether or not to gift one of our kids money. And one of us feels like we have been generous to them financially and it's time for them to stand on their own two feet. And the other one of us says we have much to be grateful for and we have money and we should give them the money if we can afford it.

[Dave Ramsey]

So neither, neither one of you are right.

[Josephine]

Yeah, both, both of you are wrong.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know why? Because neither one of you said what's best for this kid over the next 20 years. One of you said, I've got some money, I'll just throw them lollipops. And the other one said, I don't care. They just stand on their own. Neither one of you asked the question what's best for the kid?

[Josephine]

Okay. What's best for the kid in this situation?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's what I'm asking.

[Josephine]

Yeah. So we're retired. Quite comfortable financially. We were. We are on baby step seven.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so you've got the money in question. How much money are they asking for?

[Josephine]

Well, they're not asking.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, how much money are we proposing?

[Josephine]

I'm proposing $30,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why? What do they need $30,000 for that grown people can't go get on their own?

[Josephine]

Okay. So my daughter married someone with considerable student loan debt. And they have not been attacking it with gazelle intensity in part because they keep being hopeful, like many young people are, that their loans would be forgiven. And so they're kind of not paying on it aggressively. And my son, they live frugally, I would say. They live in a modest house. They don't have any car payments. My son in law has been driving a beater for the last couple years. And my daughter's car is starting to have some significant issues. So they have to replace their cars and they don't have the money in the bank to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do they not make any money?

[Josephine]

Two different vehicles, they do make money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where's their money going?

[Josephine]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

If it's not going to student loan, it's not going to cars. Where's it going?

[Josephine]

Well, they have two kids, so I don't.

[Sharon]

How much do they make, Josephine, do.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, you know what their income is?

[Josephine]

I think, yeah, I think their income is about 180 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

You've got to be kidding me. They make $180,000 and they're driving a couple of beaters and mommy's gonna bail them out. Come on, Josephine. Did you just hear that?

[Josephine]

Well, he has significant student loans.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't care. He's not paying on them. He's waiting on Biden. Oh, wait, Biden's not president anymore. Yeah, he's not even paying down aggressively. He makes $180,000 a year, and they're pissing their money away. Yeah, I'm sorry. You lose the darling, you lose.

[Sharon]

Where do they live? Josephine, where do they live?

[Josephine]

They live in Michigan, so they're not in a place where the cost of living is super high.

[Dave Ramsey]

They have significant discipline issues and spending issues. And giving them $30,000 is definitely giving a drunk a drink.

[Josephine]

Okay, all right. So definitely just mind my own business.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it's not mind your own business. It's okay to be a mom that loves, but you don't want to be. You don't want to be an enabler, because the math that you just gave me is crazy. It's crazy. A young couple making $180,000 called me up just on the air here and said, we're driving a couple of hoopties and we're not going to pay off our student and we're not going to pay off our student loan debt because we're waiting on the government to do it. We would put them on a Ramsey program called Beans and Rice. Rice and Beans. Get on a budget. Quit going out to eat. Quit going on vacations you can't afford. Go buy yourself a decent $10,000 car and pay cash for it.

[Josephine]

And.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then roll up your sleeves and clean up your dadgum student loan mess. Be a grown up. That's what they would. That's the speech they would get if they called here.

[Josephine]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you know why I would give them that speech? Because I love them. Yeah, and you love them, too. The only difference you and I have is in how we manifest that. What I want to do is I want to create in them habits and systems and processes and character traits that. That create a sustainable life for them where they become prosperous. That's what I want to create in them. Giving them money when they're misbehaving with money does not do that.

[Josephine]

Okay. All right. That makes total sense.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's where we are. I'm sorry I laughed so loud at you.

[Sharon]

Scared me.

[Dave Ramsey]

I thought you were going to tell me they made $30,000 a year or something and it caught me off guard.

[Sharon]

I know I was. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Wow. So, yeah, let me tell you, the nicest people on the planet are enablers. They want to help. And the way they want to help is they just give somebody money in a situation that they don't need to. So it's the old. The old adage of, you teach a man to fish and he has fish for the rest of his life. If you give him a fish, he has a fish for a day. And that's what we're talking. That's the difference in what we're talking about here.

[Sharon]

Yeah. And different. Different scenario would be.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let me tell you what I would do, Josephine.

[Sharon]

You put them in Financial Peace University.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would. And I would match them. And I would match them.

[Sharon]

Oh, that's good. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, if you will. If you will go buy. If you will save up 10,000 or $5,000 for a car, I'll put $5,000 with it. So you can get a $10,000 car. If you will pay down $10,000 on your student loan, I'll put $10,000 towards your student loan.

[Sharon]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Up to 30. I'm not gonna do the whole stinking. Substantial. We didn't ever get the number, what substantial is. But yeah, but I would do some matching to encourage the proper habits.

[Sharon]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not to prop up and encourage the improper habits.

[Sharon]

That's right. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

But, yeah, a matching plan might be. And I'll tell you what. I'll give you, since I was so tough on you. I'm sorry. I'll give you Financial Peace University to give to them if you could talk them into doing it. If you could talk them into doing it. But if you guys will get in Financial Peace University and you'll start on a budget and you'll start limiting your spending and get control and get rid of the chaos and build a sustainable future for yourselves. And for my grandbabies, I'll put up money and help by matching your positive moves up to 30k.

[Sharon]

Because if the call was.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now, that's assuming your husband goes along with that, Josephine, because you got to have peace of your house. Because y' all are still arguing about.

[Sharon]

That, too, but Totally, Totally.

[Dave Ramsey]

But if you and your husband. I would. Sharon and I would do that, because.

[Sharon]

If she had called and said they make 50, they have been paying off debt like crazy. They're making progress, and one of their cars just died. And we want to come. We want to help them. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's helping them on a path that's positive.

[Sharon]

That's right. Exactly. Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's not. That's not writing checks for misbehavior.

[Sharon]

Yep. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which is a drunkard drink.

[Sharon]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, you don't want to do that. So. Yeah, I want to. I want to. I want them fishing for life, not fish for a day.

[Sharon]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

But.

[Josephine]

Yeah.

[Sharon]

By the good.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I.

[Sharon]

That is hard. Josephine, though, as a mom, if you do see, you know, your daughter, they're struggling and. And I could see if they have a lot of money. If Josephine or husband.

[Dave Ramsey]

It is hard. But what's hard is. What's hard is you also know in your heart that they're misbehaving. And that's hard, too.

[Sharon]

Yes. That they're not paying on the.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're not doing what they need to do.

[Sharon]

Yeah. And they make $180,000.

[Josephine]

You.

[Dave Ramsey]

That one caught me off guard. I didn't see that one coming. I got hit in the back of the head like a boomer. Hang on. That one. Oh, wow. You can't make this day up.

[Sharon]

I get it, Joseph.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can't make this day up. Wow. Yeah. That's what I would do. I would do matching. And. Hang on. Christian will pick up and we'll set you up with Financial Peace University. If the kids want to do it. Feeling they don't want to do it, but maybe they will.

[Sharon]

But maybe the life.

[Dave Ramsey]

They want the 30,000 and match. Maybe they will. If that's. That's assuming Josephine and her husband both agree on that.

[Sharon]

That's fair.

[Dave Ramsey]

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