Episode Summary: "My Kids Have Ghosted Me, Should I Leave Them An Inheritance?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Ramsey Show Highlights
• Host/Author: Ramsey Network
• Description: A quick, daily dose of advice on life and money in under ten minutes, featuring experts like Dave Ramsey, Ken Coleman, Rachel Cruze, Dr. John Delony, George Kamel, and Jade Warshaw.
• Episode: My Kids Have Ghosted Me, Should I Leave Them An Inheritance?
• Release Date: July 4, 2025

1. Introduction to Ruth’s Situation

The episode opens with Ruth reaching out for advice regarding a deeply personal and financial dilemma. At [00:06], Ruth explains her predicament: she is retired and grappling with whether to designate her children as beneficiaries in light of a prolonged estrangement.

Ruth: "I'm retired, and I'm going through my finances, and I'm trying to figure out whether I should have my children as beneficiaries or not, since they ghosted me." [00:06]

2. Causes of Estrangement

Dave Ramsey, responding empathetically at [00:20], invites Ruth to elaborate on the reasons behind her estrangement from her children. Ruth reveals that the frosty relationship began nine years ago when she set a crucial boundary with her youngest daughter battling heroin addiction.

Ruth: "I set a boundary with my youngest daughter, who is a heroin addict, and told her basically, she can't use me anymore, and I will support her in recovery and her healing, and it ran from there." [00:29]

George Kamel: "We don't ever talk about enough. The other side of boundaries is that when we can put up a boundary to keep ourselves safe and kind of create the world we want to exist in, other people can just walk away, and we don't talk about that enough." [01:17]

Ruth further emphasizes the impact of her daughter's addiction on her ability to parent effectively.

Ruth: "I think you can't be an active addict and be a very good parent." [01:37]

3. Overview of Ruth’s Family and Financial Situation

Ruth shares that she has four children, one of whom sadly passed away. The remaining children range in age from 35 to 45 and have completely cut off communication with her.

George Kamel: "She has four kids, but her oldest child died. They range from 45 to 35, and none of them will talk to her." [00:51]

Regarding her financial assets, Ruth outlines her holdings:

• Home Value: Approximately $900,000 (following the sale of a joint home for $1.2 million due to a separation).
• Retirement Funds: Estimated between $600,000 to $800,000.
• Other Assets: Includes plans to leave an inheritance for her eight grandkids, ensuring her deceased child's share is directed appropriately.

Ruth: "Our home was sold for 1.2 million, so mine's probably 900,000. ... a possibility of 600 to 800,000." [03:05]

4. Expert Advice: Managing Inheritance Amid Estrangement

George Kamel and Dave Ramsey provide Ruth with several strategies to handle her inheritance thoughtfully:

• Utilizing 529 Plans for Grandchildren: George suggests opening fully funded 529 plans dedicated to education for Ruth's grandkids. This approach ensures that the funds are used specifically for educational purposes, minimizing the risk of misuse.

  George Kamel: "You can open up 529s and fully fund them for all of the grandkids, specifying that money is going to be used for education only. If they choose not to go to school, it just can roll into a Roth with the kids down the line." [04:13]

  Dave Ramsey: "If you want to skip a generation or not punish the grandkids, ... leaving it in a 529 will make you feel better about this." [04:14]

• Conditional Inheritance: Establishing conditions for receiving the inheritance, such as sobriety for her children, ensures that the funds contribute positively to their lives.

• Charitable Giving: Alternatively, Ruth could choose to leave her funds to a charity, thereby not obligating her estranged children but still making a meaningful impact.

George Kamel: "You have to make peace with it. ... get a will in place, work with an estate planning attorney and get this done as soon as possible." [07:39]

5. Ruth’s Personal Background and Current Challenges

Ruth provides deeper insight into her personal life, highlighting her resilience and responsible financial management despite facing significant challenges:

• Age: 66 years old.
• Health Issues: Forced into early retirement due to autoimmune disorders and arthritis ([05:10]).
• Financial Responsibility: Never incurred debt, carefully managed finances, and survived widowhood without relying on welfare.

Ruth: "I've been responsible my whole life, so not, you know, don't do debt and ... I just want to do the right thing and not leaving my kids out of their inheritance isn't for revenge." [05:10]

6. Balancing Personal Needs with Inheritance Decisions

A critical point of discussion revolves around Ruth potentially needing her inheritance in the future:

George Kamel: "You're going to need it. You're not going to use it. You're going to have to have it." [07:35]

Ruth acknowledges the possibility of requiring her funds as she ages, especially given her health constraints and the unpredictability of life.

Ruth: "I could use it. ... and I have to have it as well." [07:11]

7. Final Recommendations and Closing Thoughts

The experts underscore the importance of Ruth making informed and peaceful decisions regarding her estate:

• Estate Planning: Immediate action on creating a will and consulting with an estate planning attorney to formalize her wishes.

  Dave Ramsey: "Don't do anything that's going to leave you up at night going, oh, I shouldn't have done that. ... get a will in place, work with an estate planning attorney and get this done as soon as possible." [08:35]

• Personal Fulfillment: Encouragement for Ruth to find ways to reconnect or contribute positively to her community, emphasizing that her value extends beyond her financial decisions.

  George Kamel: "You can start a small group in your local community and provide 20 years of just life-giving, wisdom, and kindness." [08:03]

• Peace of Mind: The importance of Ruth making peace with her situation and ensuring that her financial legacy aligns with her values and intentions.

Key Takeaways:

• Setting Boundaries: Ruth's decision to set firm boundaries for the well-being of her family members led to estrangement, highlighting the delicate balance between support and self-preservation.

• Strategic Estate Planning: Utilizing tools like 529 plans can effectively manage inheritance, ensuring funds are used as intended and minimizing potential conflicts.

• Personal Well-being: Prioritizing personal needs and future security is crucial when making decisions about inheritance, especially when health issues are a concern.

• Community and Legacy: Beyond financial considerations, contributing to the community and fostering positive relationships can provide fulfillment and a lasting legacy.

Notable Quotes:

• Ruth on Setting Boundaries: "I set a boundary with my youngest daughter, who is a heroin addict, and told her basically, she can't use me anymore, and I will support her in recovery and her healing, and it ran from there." [00:29]

• George on Boundaries and Estrangement: "The other side of boundaries is that when we can put up a boundary to keep ourselves safe ... other people can just walk away, and we don't talk about that enough." [01:17]

• Ruth on Responsible Parenting: "You can't be an active addict and be a very good parent." [01:37]

• George on 529 Plans: "Specifies that money is going to be used for education only... But if not, it just can roll into a Roth with the kids down the line." [04:13]

• Dave Ramsey on Estate Planning: "Don't do anything that's going to leave you up at night going, oh, I shouldn't have done that. ... get a will in place, work with an estate planning attorney and get this done as soon as possible." [08:35]

This episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights delves deep into the emotional and financial complexities of familial estrangement and inheritance planning. Through Ruth's heartfelt story and the expert guidance provided, listeners gain valuable insights into making compassionate yet practical decisions that honor both personal well-being and family legacy.