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Ken
If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey my mom co
Jade
signed a lease with my brother about four years ago and he's in and out of jobs. He doesn't really like working in corporate, even though he had the opportunity to do so and now he can't afford it and he wanted to get it repoed, which he said no. So we. She's been asking for help to pay bills and so now the car is just kind of sitting. It's being used. But we had asked her to sell it. By we, I mean my other siblings and I. But she doesn't want to sell it.
Ken
Why?
Jade
She's kind of underwater. So even if she does sell it, she won't get much for it.
Financial Advisor
Okay, how much do you guys. Well, let me say. How much does the mom and the brother owe on it?
Jade
About 20 grand left on it.
Financial Advisor
Okay. What's it worth if they sold it?
Jade
You kind of ruined it. Sorry?
Financial Advisor
You said somebody ruined it. She ruined it or he ruined it.
Jade
He ruined it while he was using it.
Financial Advisor
Just wrecking it.
Jade
He just didn't take care of it. Maintenance. Yeah, it's. It's been wrecked a couple times as well.
Financial Advisor
Why are you calling?
Jade
Area is terrible.
Ken
Because mom has asked him to help out and brother.
Jade
Because brother, she was in an accident last year as well. She was taken care of for while she's been going through rehab and physio and stuff like that.
Financial Advisor
Understood.
Ken
What could she sell the car for today?
Jade
Maybe five grand. Honestly?
Financial Advisor
Oh, gosh.
Jade
If she's lucky.
Financial Advisor
Okay,
Ken
well, this is. First of all, this. Your brother is in a season of life where he is impersonating a deadbeat. And so dead beats only wake up when they're forced to wake up. But the problem is mom's name is on this and she refuses to help herself. Correct.
Jade
Kinda what way? The main reason she doesn't want to necessarily take it back to the bank or maybe just get it repoed, which.
Financial Advisor
Well, repo is not an option. But repo's not an option. And we can talk to you about that, why that is. But continue. Continue on.
Jade
Yeah. So eventually she says she wants to get a house soon enough, which I personally think she can't afford. So the biggest thing for me really is just continuing to help feels like enabling. I don't know how to approach her in a sense, like, okay, in as much as we've been helping this entire time, there's a couple things she could do.
Financial Advisor
What else? What else have you been doing to help? Cause it sounds like you've already been down that road.
Jade
It's mostly just bills and, you know, rent and stuff like that. I still live at home, but I just got married, so I'm moving out.
Financial Advisor
Is that because of the accident or that's just always been ongoing?
Jade
It's been ongoing, but more so after the accident.
Ken
And who's we? I thought I heard you say we've
Jade
been helping my siblings. And I have a younger brother, and then I'm older.
Ken
Are your siblings that have been helping with the bills, are they all in the same opinion of you that you just said, which is. I feel like I'm helping and it's enabling. Do they have the same feeling?
Jade
Somewhat. My older sister, yes. My younger brother, not too sure. Okay. He doesn't say much.
Ken
Listen, I. You. You asked a question, and I'm going to answer the question that I heard, and that is, how do I approach her on this? How do I handle this? And this is you going, mom, I can't do this anymore. Here's what you should do. If I were you, this is what I would do. And you lay it out and say, I'd sell the car. Because every day that she doesn't sell the car, there's like another calamity that's probably going to happen to this. And I feel like this entire car represents a lot of the calamity that your brother creates, and no one is willing to do anything about it. And so I. If I'm you, I go to mom and I go, mom, sell the car today. Because we got to at least get five grand for it, and that at least lessens the debt by 5,000. And then we have a $15,000 problem. You got all these other financial problems that are more important than this stupid car. So, mom, here's how I'm going to help going forward. I can't help you financially anymore. I've got to move on. I suspect that you don't have the finances and the margin to be able to keep helping her anyway without hurting you. True or false?
Jade
True.
Ken
True. So that's the conversation. Mom, I can't.
Financial Advisor
Even if I wanted to, I can't.
Ken
So here's how I can help. I'll be willing to list the car, sell the car. I'll be willing to have a conversation with younger brother and grab him by the nap of the neck and just absolutely. As only a brother can lay into
Financial Advisor
his butt with both hands. With both ambidextrous.
Ken
Very well done, Jade. And you, like, use both hands, clap him on both ears. Okay. Now here's the deal. And that's a. Lay it out and move on and say, you got to help Mom.
Financial Advisor
Yeah.
Ken
And I think all the siblings should unite on an intervention. Outside of that, Jade, that's what I'm thinking of. What. What else did I leave off the table? What would you do here?
Financial Advisor
There's a part that. That can help relationally, I think, early on, if it's possible. You said mom co signed for brother, which makes me think mom has better credit. I wonder if she can refinance this and get him off of it so that at least you're separating that relational tie. And then from there on, she can make whatever choices she's going to make with the car separate from the brother. That might unmuddy the waters just a hair as she decides what she's going to do next. But other than that, Ken. I think Ken is exactly spot on. I. I have nothing to add.
Ken
Yeah, this is tough.
Jade
Selling the car would be. Private sale is.
Financial Advisor
Yeah.
Ken
You're going to get the most money. Yeah.
Jade
Okay.
Financial Advisor
And what she can do, and you can advise her of this, if her credit's all right. In the process of getting him off the loan, when you're in there, you can say, here's what we want to do. We need a loan for the difference, because ultimately we're going to sell this thing. So we need to get him off of the loan in the process, and then we're transferring it to a personal loan. And when she does that, if she wants to add a little something to it to get something in cash, that's fine. But I think because of the nature of how much she owes on it, she's probably, you know, she would end up basically back in $20,000 of debt. So I think the bigger part here is to get the brother off of it. And. And then maybe, maybe. And I don't know what your lifestyle is, but maybe that's a way you could help her out, which is, hey, while you're saving up for your next vehicle, I can help if you need a ride, you know, in between the Ubers that. In the bus rides that you'll be taking. I can help with that. Maybe that's something you can offer.
Ken
Yeah. And then you. We need to caution Mom. You're nowhere near buying a house. Not even close. Are you renting? Is she renting now where you've been living with her?
Jade
Yes.
Ken
Yeah. No, she is not thinking about buying anything. We got to get her Healthy. Do you feel like her long term physical prognosis is good, where she can get back to work?
Jade
It's been better. She's going to extend a little bit because she's still in some pain. So maybe by July, maybe she'll be.
Ken
What is she living off of? Is there some type of a disability or insurance that she's getting? What's, what's going on there?
Jade
Yes, she had gotten disability for a little bit and then she was pulling it, pulling some out of her insurance, I think life insurance from.
Ken
Oh my gosh, mom.
Jade
Wow.
Financial Advisor
Okay. Yeah, this is tough. Tell me and you can be vague, but the nature of her injuries, how serious is this and how old is she? Because I want to know really honestly what she's going to be able to get back to doing.
Jade
Work wise, it was pretty bad. She got rear ended while she was stopped at a light and then she's around mid-50s so it's pretty slow. Progress recovery.
Financial Advisor
What was she doing beforehand? What was, what was her job and what was she earning?
Jade
She was doing a bunch of different things but she at that time she was doing Uber as a side gig. And then.
Financial Advisor
Okay, I think what the ways that you can help her are as following help her get brother off the loan. That's thing one, thing two is I want you to help her with the career side of things. We're going to give you Ken's find the work you're wired to do assessment. It's a book that'll help you and there's an assessment inside. Help her go through that because it sounds like she needs to create stability in her career with or create a career so that she can create stability in her finances going forward. I hope she's well and I hope she recovers very, very quickly.
Ken
And I would just add, you siblings need to get together and essentially fire this brother.
Financial Advisor
Yeah.
Ken
From her life for a while. Why Refi refinances Defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at y r f y.com Ramsey.
The Ramsey Show Highlights – Podcast Summary
Episode Title: My Mom Co-signed A Car For My Brother (Now She Wants My Help)
Date: March 22, 2026
Hosts: Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw, with a Financial Advisor
This episode centers on Jade's family dilemma involving her mother, who co-signed a car loan for Jade's brother. The brother has been unreliable—moving between jobs, damaging the car, and failing to maintain payments—leaving their mother with significant debt and a vehicle worth far less than what's owed. Jade now faces pressure from her mom to provide financial help, raising issues about enabling, healthy boundaries, and the best course of action. The hosts offer both practical financial advice and guidance for the complicated family dynamics at play.
This episode provides actionable financial strategies, tough love, and empathetic navigation of tangled family obligations—an essential listen for anyone facing similar multi-generational financial entanglements.