My Mom Co-signed A Car For My Brother (Now She Wants My Help)

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights – Podcast Summary
Episode Title: My Mom Co-signed A Car For My Brother (Now She Wants My Help)
Date: March 22, 2026
Hosts: Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw, with a Financial Advisor

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers on Jade's family dilemma involving her mother, who co-signed a car loan for Jade's brother. The brother has been unreliable—moving between jobs, damaging the car, and failing to maintain payments—leaving their mother with significant debt and a vehicle worth far less than what's owed. Jade now faces pressure from her mom to provide financial help, raising issues about enabling, healthy boundaries, and the best course of action. The hosts offer both practical financial advice and guidance for the complicated family dynamics at play.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background: The Family Car Loan Problem

• Jade explains the situation: Her mother co-signed a car lease for her brother about four years ago. The brother has been inconsistent with employment, doesn't like working typical corporate jobs, and the car is now essentially worthless due to accidents and lack of care.
  • "My mom co-signed a lease with my brother about four years ago and he’s in and out of jobs." (00:10 – Jade)
• Current Debt: They owe about $20,000 on the car, but due to its condition, it may only sell for $5,000.
  • "About 20 grand left on it...maybe five grand [if sold], honestly." (00:52, 01:29 – Jade)
• Family’s Proposal: Jade and her siblings have encouraged their mom to sell the car to cut her losses, but the mother hesitates as she’s deeply "underwater" on the loan.

2. The Enabling Dynamic & Emotional Load

• Helping Feels Like Enabling: Jade expresses concern that continued financial help is more enabling than supportive.
  • "Continuing to help feels like enabling. I don’t know how to approach her..." (02:12 – Jade)
• Sibling Perspectives: While the older sister agrees with Jade, the younger brother is less communicative about his stance.
  • "My older sister, yes. My younger brother, not too sure. He doesn’t say much." (03:18 – Jade)

3. Host Advice: Drawing Boundaries & Action Steps

• Ken’s Straight Talk: Advises Jade to set firm boundaries, communicate her decision clearly, and urge her mom to sell the car, reducing the financial burden at least partially.
  • "Mom, I can’t do this anymore. Here’s what you should do. Sell the car. Every day she doesn’t sell the car, there’s another calamity..." (03:23 – Ken)
• Practical Guidance: Sell the car privately to get the best price—minimize future risk even if it leaves some debt outstanding. After the sale, step back financially.
  • "I'll be willing to list the car, sell the car...but I can't help you financially anymore. I’ve got to move on." (04:28 – Ken)

4. Strategies for Untangling the Loan

• Refinance Consideration: The Financial Advisor suggests mom try to refinance the car solely in her name, removing the brother and clarifying financial responsibilities.
  • "I wonder if she can refinance this and get him off of it so that at least you’re separating that relational tie." (05:06 – Financial Advisor)
• Personal Loan for Remaining Debt: If her credit allows, mom might take a loan for the leftover debt (approx. $15,000 after sale) to clear the auto loan and have more flexibility.
  • "We need a loan for the difference...we’re transferring it to a personal loan." (05:50 – Financial Advisor)

5. Addressing Broader Financial & Health Issues

• Mom's House Ambitions—A Reality Check: The hosts caution that buying a house is unrealistic until her debts, health, and work status stabilize.
  • "You’re nowhere near buying a house. Not even close." (06:45 – Ken)
• Health & Income Concerns: Mom’s recovery from a serious accident limits her ability to work; she’s been relying on disability payments and insurance withdrawals.
  • "She had gotten disability for a little bit and then she was pulling some out of her insurance..." (07:21 – Jade)

6. Sibling Cooperation & Supporting Mom's Future

• Unified Sibling Front: Ken recommends the siblings intervene together to stop enabling the brother and establish healthy boundaries for the family.
  • "All the siblings should unite on an intervention." (04:57 – Ken)
  • "You siblings need to...fire this brother from her life for a while." (08:49 – Ken)
• Helping Mom Rebuild: The hosts suggest Jade can help by supporting her mom’s job search and providing non-financial support (like occasional rides as she transitions).
  • "Help her get brother off the loan...help her with the career side of things..." (08:19 – Financial Advisor)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Your brother is in a season of life where he is impersonating a deadbeat." (01:35 – Ken)
• "Continuing to help feels like enabling." (02:12 – Jade)
• "Mom, sell the car today. Because we got to at least get five grand for it, and that at least lessens the debt by 5,000. And then we have a $15,000 problem." (03:23 – Ken)
• "You siblings need to get together and essentially fire this brother from her life for a while." (08:49 – Ken)
• "She had gotten disability for a little bit and then was pulling some out of her insurance...oh my gosh, mom." (07:21–07:34 – Jade & Ken)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:10 – Situation summary: Mom co-signing, brother’s joblessness, car’s poor condition
• 00:52–01:32 – Reveal of financial details: $20k owed, car worth $5k
• 02:12 – Jade voices concerns about enabling
• 03:23 – Ken’s call for boundaries and selling the car
• 05:06 – Suggestion to refinance/remove brother from loan
• 06:45 – Reminder: Mom is not ready to buy a house
• 07:21 – Health and income situation post-accident
• 08:19 – Advice on career rebuilding and non-financial help
• 08:49–08:54 – Call for sibling unity and boundaries with brother

---

Actionable Takeaways

• For Jade: Step back from financial assistance; help sell the car and support mom nonfinancially.
• For the Family: Siblings should collaborate to set clear boundaries and stop enabling the problematic brother.
• For Mom: Explore refinancing the loan; prioritize recovery and stable employment before new financial commitments.

---

This episode provides actionable financial strategies, tough love, and empathetic navigation of tangled family obligations—an essential listen for anyone facing similar multi-generational financial entanglements.

Transcript

[Ken]

If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey my mom co

[Jade]

signed a lease with my brother about four years ago and he's in and out of jobs. He doesn't really like working in corporate, even though he had the opportunity to do so and now he can't afford it and he wanted to get it repoed, which he said no. So we. She's been asking for help to pay bills and so now the car is just kind of sitting. It's being used. But we had asked her to sell it. By we, I mean my other siblings and I. But she doesn't want to sell it.

[Ken]

Why?

[Jade]

She's kind of underwater. So even if she does sell it, she won't get much for it.

[Financial Advisor]

Okay, how much do you guys. Well, let me say. How much does the mom and the brother owe on it?

[Jade]

About 20 grand left on it.

[Financial Advisor]

Okay. What's it worth if they sold it?

[Jade]

You kind of ruined it. Sorry?

[Financial Advisor]

You said somebody ruined it. She ruined it or he ruined it.

[Jade]

He ruined it while he was using it.

[Financial Advisor]

Just wrecking it.

[Jade]

He just didn't take care of it. Maintenance. Yeah, it's. It's been wrecked a couple times as well.

[Financial Advisor]

Why are you calling?

[Jade]

Area is terrible.

[Ken]

Because mom has asked him to help out and brother.

[Jade]

Because brother, she was in an accident last year as well. She was taken care of for while she's been going through rehab and physio and stuff like that.

[Financial Advisor]

Understood.

[Ken]

What could she sell the car for today?

[Jade]

Maybe five grand. Honestly?

[Financial Advisor]

Oh, gosh.

[Jade]

If she's lucky.

[Financial Advisor]

Okay,

[Ken]

well, this is. First of all, this. Your brother is in a season of life where he is impersonating a deadbeat. And so dead beats only wake up when they're forced to wake up. But the problem is mom's name is on this and she refuses to help herself. Correct.

[Jade]

Kinda what way? The main reason she doesn't want to necessarily take it back to the bank or maybe just get it repoed, which.

[Financial Advisor]

Well, repo is not an option. But repo's not an option. And we can talk to you about that, why that is. But continue. Continue on.

[Jade]

Yeah. So eventually she says she wants to get a house soon enough, which I personally think she can't afford. So the biggest thing for me really is just continuing to help feels like enabling. I don't know how to approach her in a sense, like, okay, in as much as we've been helping this entire time, there's a couple things she could do.

[Financial Advisor]

What else? What else have you been doing to help? Cause it sounds like you've already been down that road.

[Jade]

It's mostly just bills and, you know, rent and stuff like that. I still live at home, but I just got married, so I'm moving out.

[Financial Advisor]

Is that because of the accident or that's just always been ongoing?

[Jade]

It's been ongoing, but more so after the accident.

[Ken]

And who's we? I thought I heard you say we've

[Jade]

been helping my siblings. And I have a younger brother, and then I'm older.

[Ken]

Are your siblings that have been helping with the bills, are they all in the same opinion of you that you just said, which is. I feel like I'm helping and it's enabling. Do they have the same feeling?

[Jade]

Somewhat. My older sister, yes. My younger brother, not too sure. Okay. He doesn't say much.

[Ken]

Listen, I. You. You asked a question, and I'm going to answer the question that I heard, and that is, how do I approach her on this? How do I handle this? And this is you going, mom, I can't do this anymore. Here's what you should do. If I were you, this is what I would do. And you lay it out and say, I'd sell the car. Because every day that she doesn't sell the car, there's like another calamity that's probably going to happen to this. And I feel like this entire car represents a lot of the calamity that your brother creates, and no one is willing to do anything about it. And so I. If I'm you, I go to mom and I go, mom, sell the car today. Because we got to at least get five grand for it, and that at least lessens the debt by 5,000. And then we have a $15,000 problem. You got all these other financial problems that are more important than this stupid car. So, mom, here's how I'm going to help going forward. I can't help you financially anymore. I've got to move on. I suspect that you don't have the finances and the margin to be able to keep helping her anyway without hurting you. True or false?

[Jade]

True.

[Ken]

True. So that's the conversation. Mom, I can't.

[Financial Advisor]

Even if I wanted to, I can't.

[Ken]

So here's how I can help. I'll be willing to list the car, sell the car. I'll be willing to have a conversation with younger brother and grab him by the nap of the neck and just absolutely. As only a brother can lay into

[Financial Advisor]

his butt with both hands. With both ambidextrous.

[Ken]

Very well done, Jade. And you, like, use both hands, clap him on both ears. Okay. Now here's the deal. And that's a. Lay it out and move on and say, you got to help Mom.

[Financial Advisor]

Yeah.

[Ken]

And I think all the siblings should unite on an intervention. Outside of that, Jade, that's what I'm thinking of. What. What else did I leave off the table? What would you do here?

[Financial Advisor]

There's a part that. That can help relationally, I think, early on, if it's possible. You said mom co signed for brother, which makes me think mom has better credit. I wonder if she can refinance this and get him off of it so that at least you're separating that relational tie. And then from there on, she can make whatever choices she's going to make with the car separate from the brother. That might unmuddy the waters just a hair as she decides what she's going to do next. But other than that, Ken. I think Ken is exactly spot on. I. I have nothing to add.

[Ken]

Yeah, this is tough.

[Jade]

Selling the car would be. Private sale is.

[Financial Advisor]

Yeah.

[Ken]

You're going to get the most money. Yeah.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Financial Advisor]

And what she can do, and you can advise her of this, if her credit's all right. In the process of getting him off the loan, when you're in there, you can say, here's what we want to do. We need a loan for the difference, because ultimately we're going to sell this thing. So we need to get him off of the loan in the process, and then we're transferring it to a personal loan. And when she does that, if she wants to add a little something to it to get something in cash, that's fine. But I think because of the nature of how much she owes on it, she's probably, you know, she would end up basically back in $20,000 of debt. So I think the bigger part here is to get the brother off of it. And. And then maybe, maybe. And I don't know what your lifestyle is, but maybe that's a way you could help her out, which is, hey, while you're saving up for your next vehicle, I can help if you need a ride, you know, in between the Ubers that. In the bus rides that you'll be taking. I can help with that. Maybe that's something you can offer.

[Ken]

Yeah. And then you. We need to caution Mom. You're nowhere near buying a house. Not even close. Are you renting? Is she renting now where you've been living with her?

[Jade]

Yes.

[Ken]

Yeah. No, she is not thinking about buying anything. We got to get her Healthy. Do you feel like her long term physical prognosis is good, where she can get back to work?

[Jade]

It's been better. She's going to extend a little bit because she's still in some pain. So maybe by July, maybe she'll be.

[Ken]

What is she living off of? Is there some type of a disability or insurance that she's getting? What's, what's going on there?

[Jade]

Yes, she had gotten disability for a little bit and then she was pulling it, pulling some out of her insurance, I think life insurance from.

[Ken]

Oh my gosh, mom.

[Jade]

Wow.

[Financial Advisor]

Okay. Yeah, this is tough. Tell me and you can be vague, but the nature of her injuries, how serious is this and how old is she? Because I want to know really honestly what she's going to be able to get back to doing.

[Jade]

Work wise, it was pretty bad. She got rear ended while she was stopped at a light and then she's around mid-50s so it's pretty slow. Progress recovery.

[Financial Advisor]

What was she doing beforehand? What was, what was her job and what was she earning?

[Jade]

She was doing a bunch of different things but she at that time she was doing Uber as a side gig. And then.

[Financial Advisor]

Okay, I think what the ways that you can help her are as following help her get brother off the loan. That's thing one, thing two is I want you to help her with the career side of things. We're going to give you Ken's find the work you're wired to do assessment. It's a book that'll help you and there's an assessment inside. Help her go through that because it sounds like she needs to create stability in her career with or create a career so that she can create stability in her finances going forward. I hope she's well and I hope she recovers very, very quickly.

[Ken]

And I would just add, you siblings need to get together and essentially fire this brother.

[Financial Advisor]

Yeah.

[Ken]

From her life for a while. Why Refi refinances Defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at y r f y.com Ramsey.