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Dave Ramsey
If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey I recently got
Tony
a good, well paying job right out of college. But my family has some debts and they are asking me to pay the debts. For what?
Jade
No, goodness gracious, hard pass.
Chris
When you say you got a good job with good money, tell us exactly what that means. What are you doing and what do you earn?
Tony
Okay, so I'm a machine learning consultant for a Telecommunication company earning 285k per year.
Chris
How do they know that? And they know that you told them that information?
Jade
Oh boy.
Chris
That was a.
Jade
To Jade's point. Jade makes a great point here. And you made this point earlier, so I got a follow up. How soon did the ask or did the ask for the. For you to help them with their debts come after you told them about this new gig or were they already pressuring you?
Tony
No, they were not. They were very supportive and I thought they would just be, you know, be like. Yeah.
Jade
So once they found out about the new raise, they said, help us.
Tony
Yeah. And dad has three cars and he's asking me to pay all of them.
Chris
And I hear fund your sister's college too. I see that on the screen. What?
Tony
Yes, yes.
Chris
Let me tell you what I would tell them.
Jade
You aren't making 285 million. I know. What's 285 after taxes doesn't take care of those problems.
Chris
Is this, Can I ask straight up, is this anything culturally related that we need to know about or is this just people who are off their rocker?
Tony
Well, I am Asian, so is there
Chris
an expectation for the sons to pay? For the parents,
Tony
there's no expectation. Usually. I mean, I thought, you know, we would be just dealing with our debts and things like, obviously, like, I'm open to helping them, but.
Chris
But there's. There's nothing, there is no tradition there that you feel like they are relying on that you no longer believe in. Do you see what I'm saying?
Tony
No, there's no tradition, no culture thing.
Jade
So let me ask you a question, Tony. Why'd you call us? Because when I immediately said no, you
Dave Ramsey
went,
Jade
so we want to help, but why'd you call? How can we help you?
Tony
The thing is, I love my family and I currently live with them. But the thing is, this situation is it really is taking a toll on my mental health at dinner.
Jade
How can we help you?
Chris
I think you gotta move out, Tony.
Jade
What's your question?
Tony
I kind of want to know your opinion. Do you would you, if you were in my shoes, would you just.
Chris
I would move out today, Tony. I would move out. You are grown. First off, money aside, what you make, career aside, you're grown. So it's time to move out.
Jade
That's thing one, and not pay them a nickel.
Chris
And not pay them a nickel. And thing two, by you moving out and separating yourself from their expectations and you get to go home and eat a sandwich and not ever think about this again versus being in their house. Like you said, every night at dinner they're going to bring it up in the morning. You know, when your mom sees you before you go to work, she's going to. Do you see what I'm saying? So you're keeping yourself in that, that guilt ridden environment. Take yourself out, remove yourself from the conversation.
Jade
Yeah. There is nothing else for us to say. You will resent your family, the very family you love, you will resent if you capitulate to their manipulation. Don't do it.
Tony
It's. It's going to burn the bridge that I'm afraid.
Chris
No, it's not. You will not. Here's the thing. I know I just got very hot handed very, very quickly. You are not burning the bridge, Tony. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying I went to school. I earned this income. This is my life. There is nothing stopping sister from doing the same. And mom and dad, it's never been my responsibility to pay off your mortgage. Three cars and I, that's where I stand. That is the, the, the barrier and the, the boundary that I'm putting in place. I really hope you guys can understand that because that is perfectly logical and it makes perfect sense. Period.
Jade
Done. It, it, it. And, and if it burns the bridge, that's on them. You can't do anything about this. I feel for you, but only to a degree because I'm telling you, we see Jade and I are sitting in the enviable position of not having any emotion attached to that.
Chris
That's right.
Jade
In our audience. We got people in the lobby, they're shaking their head no, Tony, no. Because we aren't attached to this. And so none of us have the fear. And I honestly think that the best thing you can do in a situation like this is call family members bluffs.
Chris
Yes.
Jade
Call their bluff. And so move out today. Don't pay them a nickel. Tell them why. Tell them you're happy to guide them on, on what they should be doing if they're willing to listen, but absolutely not. And I'm sorry, we got to cut it there.
Dave Ramsey
Why Refi Refinances Defaulted Private Student loans for Struggling borrowers. Learn more at Y r e f y.com Ramsey.
Episode: My Parents Want Me To Pay Off Their House Because I Have a Good Job
Date: March 17, 2026
Host(s): Chris Hogan, Jade Warshaw, Dave Ramsey
Guest/Caller: Tony
In this concise yet impactful episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, hosts Chris Hogan and Jade Warshaw—joined briefly by Dave Ramsey—respond to a challenging situation posed by Tony, a recent college grad earning a high salary. Tony's parents want him to pay off their house, cars, and his sister’s college because he now has a lucrative job. The hosts provide direct, empathetic, and practical advice about boundaries, family expectations, and the importance of financial independence.
Jade Warshaw [00:20]:
“No, goodness gracious, hard pass.”
Chris Hogan [02:57]:
“I would move out today, Tony. I would move out. You are grown... it's time to move out.”
Jade Warshaw [03:06]:
“That’s thing one, and not pay them a nickel.”
Jade Warshaw [03:35]:
“You will resent your family, the very family you love, you will resent if you capitulate to their manipulation. Don’t do it.”
Chris Hogan [03:54]:
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying I went to school. I earned this income. This is my life... That is the... boundary that I’m putting in place. I really hope you guys can understand that because that is perfectly logical and it makes perfect sense. Period.”
Jade Warshaw [05:04]:
“Call their bluff. And so move out today. Don’t pay them a nickel. Tell them why. Tell them you’re happy to guide them on what they should be doing… but absolutely not.”
In this episode, the Ramsey team responds with unwavering clarity and empathy to a young professional facing familial financial pressures. They advocate for strong personal boundaries, emotional health, and remind listeners of the importance of not sacrificing self or future to familial guilt or manipulation. Their advice is unambiguous: move out, pay nothing, set boundaries, and don't feel responsible for parents’ financial choices—no matter how high your paycheck or deep your love.