My Pregnant Ex Is Taking Advantage Of Me (Financially)

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: My Pregnant Ex Is Taking Advantage Of Me (Financially)
Date: November 26, 2025
Host: Dave Ramsey (with co-host Jade Warshaw)
Caller: Elijah

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Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Elijah calls in to seek advice on managing the financial and relational complexities surrounding his pregnant ex-fiancée. After a short engagement and their breakup, Elijah finds himself caught between wanting to support the mother of his unborn child and feeling financially manipulated. The hosts, Dave Ramsey and Jade Warshaw, offer practical and tough-love insights on boundaries, legal responsibilities, and the importance of getting courts involved in child support matters.

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Key Discussion Points

Elijah’s Situation: Relationship and Financial Entanglement

[00:02–02:31]

• Elijah explains he was engaged, but his fiancée ended it after expressing doubts. They discovered she was pregnant around the time of the breakup.
• Despite Elijah’s attempts to reconcile for their child’s sake, she ultimately left, moving out with the help of another ex.
• She currently seeks significant financial support, wants to raise the baby alone, and is not open to shared custody.
• Elijah has been giving her support beyond what was originally agreed, mostly out of concern for her and their unborn child.

The Ex’s Financial Landscape

[02:31–03:05]

• Elijah confirms his ex has two other children, each with different fathers; Elijah would be the third.
• The ex is currently only receiving child support (when paid) and lives with her grandmother rent-free.

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Candid Analysis by Dave Ramsey

[03:05–05:36]

• Dave’s Assessment:

  • Dave expresses compassion but is blunt: "You've dodged a bullet ... She is taking advantage of you." [03:05]
  • He clarifies that this is not someone Elijah should attempt to settle down with, highlighting the complexity and lack of stability in her life.
  • Dave focuses on separating emotional obligation from practical responsibility: “What you have a responsibility to is child support.” [05:36]

• Jade’s Probing:

  • Asks Elijah to honestly assess whether he contributed to the relationship breakdown.
  • Elijah references minor household annoyances (e.g., playing an audio Bible late at night), but nothing major or malicious.

Memorable Banter: The "Bible Argument"

[04:09–04:45]

• Dave pokes fun at the reason the ex left: "So you're right next to her listening to the Old Testament. I'd be pissed, too." [04:31]
• Jade adds levity: "Not you listening to the Bible. Come on." [03:51]
• Together, they underscore that the cited disagreements seem petty and not grounds for such a dramatic split.

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Navigating Support & Legal Boundaries

[05:36–09:21]

• Dave’s Advice:

  • Stick to the originally agreed support amount unless she violates the agreement.
  • Be wary of her repeatedly asking for more: “She doesn’t have this control over you, man.” [07:17]
  • Stop additional support beyond what was agreed, and let a judge determine the official child support amount.

• Jade’s Nuanced View:

  • Advises looking up local child support standards, noting support during pregnancy is sometimes expected, and should reflect a fair percentage of income.
  • Emphasizes the baby’s wellbeing, suggesting her living situation (dependent on child support from others and rent-free with her grandmother) impacts Elijah’s child but warns not to be taken advantage of.

• Dave’s Final Word:

  • "She's a mess no matter how much money this guy... It's a country music song is what this is." [09:43]
  • He reiterates the need for legal clarity and emotional boundaries.

• Jade’s Closing Thought:

  • Reminds Elijah to be informed and weigh the baby’s needs, but not let guilt or manipulation drive his decisions.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey:

  • “You’ve dodged a bullet ... She is taking advantage of you.” [03:05]
  • “This is painful, this is tough, but ... what you have a responsibility to is child support.” [05:36]
  • “I understand that your only commitment is whatever the fair and equitable child support number is. If you want to give more than that, you can. But she’s manipulating you right now.” [08:43]
  • "This is a country music song is what this is. This entire call is a number one hit." [09:13]

• Jade Warshaw:

  • “Did you do anything ... or are you completely innocent holding the bag?” [03:11]
  • “I'm thinking of the baby.” [09:50]

• Elijah:

  • Expresses the emotional struggle: “… it’s really hard to not kind of feel like I’m just sort of being taken advantage of.” [00:56]
  • Shares attempts to renegotiate support: “…she would continue asking for more … I kind of tried to switch to just, like, can you just let me know when you need groceries or something and we’ll give you specific amounts.” [06:44]

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Timestamps for Critical Segments

• Elijah’s Summary of Breakup and Support Requests: [00:02–01:58]
• Hosts Clarifying Number of Dads and Background: [01:58–02:38]
• Dave’s “Dodged a Bullet” Comments: [02:38–03:05]
• Discussion about Relationship Dynamics ("Bible Argument"): [03:43–04:45]
• Advice on Setting Boundaries and Getting Legal Help: [05:36–07:58]
• Analysis of Fair Support Amount and Legal Guidance: [07:58–09:43]
• Closing Banter (Country Song Reference): [09:13–09:52]

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Summary

In this episode, Elijah’s vulnerability and confusion about his financial and emotional responsibilities prompt candid, actionable advice from Dave Ramsey and Jade Warshaw. The hosts emphasize the importance of legal boundaries, warn against enabling manipulation, and recommend that Elijah only stick to agreed payments until a judge decides otherwise. While empathizing with Elijah’s concern for his child, they caution him not to get trapped in a cycle of guilt-based financial support.

The bottom line: Keep your word, establish clear boundaries, and let the court decide child support to avoid further manipulation or confusion. The story is a blend of heartbreak, responsibility, and the need for tough love—a “country music song” in the making.

Transcript

[Elijah]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I was engaged to a girl and we were together for a few months. I mean engaged for a few months. We were together for over a year, but she started expressing doubts and ultimately she told me she wanted to end the engagement. And around that time we found out that we were pregnant together.

[Advertisement Voice]

Oh.

[Elijah]

Yeah. So I, I was adamant about, hey, I think we should really try and stay together for the kids sake. I think we should follow through with staying together. And so she was open to it for a little while. I moved her into my place. She has two kids, so we moved the whole family. But ultimately I think she just kind of felt trapped being at my place and she ended up leaving and going back to her place. She got her ex boyfriend, one of her other kids, fathers to help her move and he was kind of helping her out for a week and. Yeah, and so she, she left and I was working on Wildfire at the time and when I got off, I guess she get, you know, her, her ex boyfriend kind of went out of state to go work a job and so she kind of started reaching out back out to me for help and she doesn't really want to be together but she's been, she's been asking for a lot of financial support and she hasn't really guaranteed me that I'm gonna even get to have like a relationship with my, you know, with our baby on the way. She's pretty adamant about just wanting to raise, raised her on her own and then just kind of received child support. And so she's not open to any kind of 50, 50 custody or anything like that. And you know, so I, I wanted to be helpful to her. Obviously she's the mother of this child, you know, that we created but it's really hard to not kind of feel like I'm just sort of being taken advantage of. We kind of agreed on that. I would, I would give her a little bit of money out of each paycheck to kind of help her out. She gets, she was getting a little bit of child support from her other fathers but, but even that she hasn't really been getting lately because they like lost their job. The other one's working under the table.

[Jade]

Do they have, do her other two kids have two separate dads? Are there three dads total?

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[Jade]

Are there three dads total?

[Elijah]

Yeah, two separate fathers. I would be the third father to have a kid. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I hate this, that this is happening to you because this is tough. Really tough emotionally, but, man, you've dodged a bullet. This.

[Jade]

I'm.

[Dave Ramsey]

Listen, I'm not.

[Elijah]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I mean, I'm saying, like, just. You have dodged. This is not a. A woman that I think you want to settle down with. We've got two other dudes, two other kids. She is taking advantage of you.

[Jade]

You.

[Dave Ramsey]

She doesn't want you in the picture. She doesn't value you. Assuming that you're telling us is true.

[Jade]

Let me ask you straight up, Elijah. What. What did you do? Did you do anything? Or are you completely innocent holding a bag? Like, did you do anything to cause this to come to an end?

[Elijah]

I mean, I want to try and be as honest as I can. The reason I'm calling you guys is because I feel like what she and I have been doing is like, I'll talk to my people and they'll be like, well, she's taking advantage of you. And then she'll talk to her people and they'll say, well, he's not stepping up as a man or whatever.

[Jade]

Okay?

[Elijah]

And so I would say that the main problems. I can tell you what she's expressed with her problems with me were.

[Jade]

Tell me.

[Elijah]

A lot of them were just kind of like household. Like, it would be stuff like I would put on an audio Bible at night and accidentally wake her up. And she thought that was inconsiderate.

[Jade]

Not you listening to the Bible. Come on.

[Elijah]

I mean, I think it was more so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hold on a second. All right? Hold on a second. I think everybody knows that I took you at face value, my Bible, but now I'm starting to doubt you. When you drop the Bible, that's the first thing that she griped about. Are you shooting me straight?

[Jade]

Nothing.

[Elijah]

I'm telling you this because that was. That was the night before she left.

[Dave Ramsey]

How late at night was? Okay, I got to do a follow up. America needs to know this. How late at night was it?

[Elijah]

I don't know. It might have been 10 or 11 or something.

[Dave Ramsey]

Was she in bed?

[Elijah]

It might have been. It might have been in the middle of the night. It might have been like. Like I woke up to get a glass of water and I was having trouble sleeping or something.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so you're right next to her. So you're right next to her listening to the Old Testament. I'd be pissed, too.

[Jade]

I don't care.

[Dave Ramsey]

What if it's the Bible or not. I'm trying to sleep. Go to the living room. But that doesn't sound like. But that doesn't sound like worthy of this.

[Jade]

Yeah, I was trying to get at. Did you do anything? Like, did you cheat?

[Advertisement Voice]

You.

[Jade]

Were you being a jerk in some kind of way? Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do you.

[Elijah]

Do you listen to your Bible arguments? But.

[Jade]

All right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do you. Do you not understand?

[Elijah]

It was like. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I just want to ask you. You laughed when I said it. And I don't mind being laughed at. You know, it happens all the time.

[Jade]

I'm sitting right here.

[Dave Ramsey]

It really does. Do you not understand what I mean when I say you dodged a relationship bullet here? As hard as this is, and I hate that the custody thing is a thing. I got a lady in the front row. This is a wise woman. I can just see. And she's giving me a thumbs up. So that means I'm right, which is rare too. You know, you've dodged a bullet, and I share that. To say this is painful, this is tough, but I think you need to understand that what you have a responsibility to is child support.

[Jade]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I would, on the. Finally tie this up, in my opinion. And then I got an outlier towards the end here. And I want to get out of the way, let Jade weigh in. But I'll say that I think part of your healing needs to be. I really dodged a bullet here. This is a very complex relationship I was in. It's messy. She does not seem like long term material to me. I'm not judging, folks. I call balls and strikes. Okay. And so we dodged a bullet. That should help you recover a little bit quicker. Two, I'm okay with you continuing to give her the money that you agreed to because you said it was a small amount. And I would keep your word. Unless she does something that would then morally disqualify her. And you go, well, you didn't keep your word. I'm gonna keep you in mind. And then I would wait for the judge to decide.

[Elijah]

She continues to ask for more. And she's been spending on things that aren't A, that's not your problem.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hold on a second. Sorry, hold on. It's not your problem. I don't care how many times she asks you, give her what you agreed to unless she violates the agreement, then you don't have to give her anything. And then I'd wait for the judge to tell you because the judge is.

[Jade]

Gonna tell you, well, and I wanna know what that amount is. What are you giving her now?

[Elijah]

It was, I basically went off of what she got child support from, from her other people and it was something like, it was something like 250 to 300 out of every like couple weeks. And so it was only like 500amonth. But I went back and ultimately I was giving her because she would continue asking for more. And ultimately it was like two to three times as much as what I end up giving her. And so I went and I talked to her and I was just kind of like hey, I feel like you're asking for a lot more than what we originally agreed on. And so I kind of tried to switch to just like can you just like let me know when need groceries or something and like we'll give you specific amounts.

[Dave Ramsey]

She doesn't, she doesn't have this control over you, man.

[Jade]

I, I, I want to jump in here because there is part of this, I, I want to know more because the truth is if you were taking care of because the child support, obviously it needs to start while she's pregnant cuz she's carrying the baby. So usually it's based off of a percentage of what you're earning. So likening it to the other guys, ah, I get why you're doing it, but it might not necessarily be fair if you were making more than them and if you are, we're in a situation where you were previously providing more. So there's part of that that I want to be fair to the baby and fair to what it actually takes to carry.

[Dave Ramsey]

We need to get a judge involved.

[Jade]

In this and you need to do that sooner than later.

[Dave Ramsey]

But, but not give her any more money. Don't give her any more until we get a judge involved. You give her what you said you're going to get. I'm going to take a hard line on that one because she's asking for more and she's, she's manipulating you and she's holding that baby over you. I don't like it.

[Elijah]

One of the, one of the concerns is like obviously just kind of like there's, you know, enough kind of why I wanted to talk to you guys because obviously, there's a lot of emotional parts involved for me. But her. Her two fathers. Her only income source is child support. She. She lives for free on her grandmother's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Another problem.

[Elijah]

Her. Her only income is child support, and so her two fathers basically stopped paying child support. So it's kind of like if I'm not supporting her, like, nobody.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not your problem. It's not.

[Elijah]

I mean, she's the mother of my child. Like, I obviously don't want her to go while she's growing our baby.

[Dave Ramsey]

I understand that your only commitment is whatever the fair and equitable child support number is. If you want to give more than that, you can. But she's manipulating you right now. The very nature of that question is a guy who's been manipulated emotionally. And I get it. You got a good heart. But she will take advantage of this. Her two deadbeat dudes that she got pregnant with the first time, that's her problem and their problem. It's not your problem. This is a country music song is what this is. This entire call is a number one hit. And I know because we're in music City. I mean, you. If you got any musical talent, you might want to write this one. It could really take off.

[Jade]

In the meantime. In the meantime, Elijah, go online and look at just kind of some standards to get an idea. I'm looking here. Standard is usually 17% for one child, 25% for two, 29 for three. I will disagree with my colleague and say her home situation does affect how she's carrying your baby today. So you need to weigh. You need to weigh that in. I'm not saying be taken advantage of.

[Dave Ramsey]

But I'm just saying she's a mess no matter how much money this guy.

[Jade]

But it all. But together. It's all together is all I'm saying.

[Dave Ramsey]

I get it.

[Jade]

I'm thinking of the baby.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's a country music song. Somebody write that.

[Elijah]

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