My Spouse Says I “Sucked The Fun” Out Of Their Hobby

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – "My Spouse Says I 'Sucked The Fun' Out Of Their Hobby"

Introduction and Context

In the January 23, 2025 episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, hosted by the Ramsey Network, Rachel Cruze delves into a relatable marital conflict centered around financial planning and personal hobbies. The episode, titled "My Spouse Says I 'Sucked The Fun' Out Of Their Hobby," offers listeners a candid look into the challenges couples face when balancing financial goals with individual passions.

Rachel Cruze’s Personal Story

Rachel Cruze opens the discussion by sharing her personal financial journey alongside her husband. They are currently navigating Baby Step Two, aiming to save an additional $12,000 to achieve financial stability. However, a recent disagreement has surfaced as her husband expresses a strong desire to engage in his hunting hobby, which Rachel believes may impede their financial progress.

Rachel Cruze [00:06]: “My husband and I are in baby step two and have $12,000 more to go. We're so close. He's been fully on board with the baby steps until recently.”

Rachel outlines the financial implications of her husband's hunting activities. Specifically, she highlights the costs associated with butchering and mounting a deer, which range from $200 to $1,000. She emphasizes the necessity of joint decision-making regarding discretionary spending during their financial journey.

Rachel Cruze [00:19]: “He says hunting is his hobby and the only thing that makes him happy.”

Financial Conflict Over Hunting Hobby

The core of the episode revolves around Rachel's concern that her husband's spending on hunting could derail their progress toward financial freedom. She confronts him about the costs, advocating for postponing such expenses until they are more financially secure.

Rachel Cruze [00:35]: “I told him we needed to decide together about hunting during baby step two and that I don't support him spending $1,000 right now.”

Her husband responds by accusing Rachel of diminishing the enjoyment of his hobby, suggesting that her financial prudence is unnecessarily restrictive.

Rachel Cruze [00:50]: “He says I've sucked the fun out of hunting by asking these questions.”

Cost Breakdown and Misunderstanding

Dave Ramsey steps in to dissect the financial aspects of the hunting hobby. He questions the accuracy of the reported costs, suggesting that the expenses may have been exaggerated.

Dave Ramsey [00:58]: “That's a little insulting.”

Rachel counters by providing her own breakdown of the costs, arguing that professional butchering services are much more affordable.

Rachel Cruze [01:40]: “I've never had somebody charge me even half of 200 to butcher a deer. It's 55 to 75 bucks.”

Dave acknowledges this perspective but also points out that there might be additional costs not initially considered, such as processing fees and mounting expenses.

Dave Ramsey [03:05]: “So $5 in ammunition. Right.”

Solutions and Advice

The hosts collaboratively offer practical solutions to reconcile Rachel and her husband's financial goals with his passion for hunting. They suggest cost-effective alternatives, such as butchering the deer themselves to eliminate processing fees and foregoing mounting services to reduce expenses.

Rachel Cruze [05:08]: “We're just going to shoot does this year. We're not going to mount anything. We're just shooting for food this year.”

Dave reinforces the importance of maintaining a financial plan, especially during Baby Step Two, and encourages finding a balance that allows for personal enjoyment without compromising their financial objectives.

Dave Ramsey [06:16]: “I'm all in for our goals. And so I'm going to decrease the grocery budget because I'm going to do the butchering this year myself.”

Emotional Impact and Relationship Dynamics

The conversation delves into the emotional strain that financial disagreements can place on a marriage. Rachel expresses frustration, highlighting the sacrifices made during their financial journey and the importance of mutual respect and understanding.

Rachel Cruze [07:35]: “Everybody in this house needs to grow up a little bit. Jeez.”

Dave emphasizes that financial cooperation is crucial and that finding ways to support each other's happiness without derailing their goals is possible.

Dave Ramsey [07:42]: “Create your free EveryDollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.”

Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode underscores the delicate balance between pursuing personal interests and adhering to financial plans. Rachel and Dave Ramsey advocate for open communication, mutual respect, and creative problem-solving to ensure that individual passions do not impede collective financial goals. By adopting cost-effective strategies and prioritizing their financial steps, couples can maintain harmony and progress toward financial freedom.

Key Takeaways:

1. Open Communication: Discuss and align financial priorities within the marriage.
2. Cost Management: Explore affordable alternatives to expensive hobbies to stay on track with financial goals.
3. Mutual Respect: Acknowledge each other's passions and find compromises that support both partners' happiness.
4. Financial Planning: Adhere to structured financial plans like Baby Step Two to achieve long-term stability.

This episode serves as a valuable resource for couples navigating similar financial dilemmas, offering practical advice and empathetic insights to foster both financial health and personal fulfillment.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Rachel Cruze]

All right, Today's Ramsey network app. It's from Hope. And personally, this hits too close to home, so I don't appreciate it, Hope, but here we go. My husband and I are in baby step two and have $12,000 more to go. We're so close. He's been fully on board with the baby steps until recently. He's an avid hunter and wants to go hunting this season. If he kills a deer, it costs around 200 bucks to butcher it and between 2 and $1,000 to mount it. I told him we needed to decide together about hunting during baby step two and that I don't support him spending $1,000 right now. I reminded him that by next season, we'd have a lot more money and freedom to spend more freely. He says I've sucked the fun out of hunting by asking these questions. He probably had to set down his pacifier to say that. He says hunting is his hobby and the only thing that makes him happy.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's a little insulting.

[Rachel Cruze]

Gosh, that's so dramatic. I have no problem with him hunting. I just want to plan financially before he goes. Am I wrong?

[Dave Ramsey]

Is his little face red? Was his little lip stuck out? Yeah, like I sound like a kid on the cereal in his bib. Yeah, honey makes me happy.

[Rachel Cruze]

The only thing that makes me happy.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so, yeah, you're killing me.

[Rachel Cruze]

There's two problems. You're married to a toddler. That's number one. Number two, Hope, what you have done is you have created. You've exaggerated this. I hunt all the time. I've never had somebody charge me even half of 200 to butcher a deer.

[Dave Ramsey]

Really? No. It's about what's the cost to process.

[Rachel Cruze]

55 to 75 bucks.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay?

[Rachel Cruze]

That's what it costs. And you can do it yourself. You can do it at home for $0. And so. And then. Good God, no, you don't.

[Dave Ramsey]

A lot of Ziploc bags.

[Rachel Cruze]

A lot of Ziploc bag. That's true. Nine dollars, right? Nine bucks plus. No, this isn't the season to be mounting deer. And again, 200 to a thousand. If you're taking it to some fancy taxidermist, maybe. Again, this is one. Like, it's gonna cost a thousand. It's not. It's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

And, well, man, he may be. Or she may be. I don't know who's. Somebody's exaggerating.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I think she's exaggerating a bit because she don't want him. And he is being exaggerating with his feelings on the other side. There's more things in his life to bring him joy than hunting. And also, it's hunting season and him going on Saturday and shooting a deer to feed the family and to have some fun and get out in this is fine. But also, if you're gonna add twelve hundred dollars as a part of this, that's insane.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right?

[Rachel Cruze]

A thousand dollars plus 200 bucks.

[Dave Ramsey]

The melodrama around this whole thing is just out of control.

[Rachel Cruze]

So it's getting all the way beneath.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know who's melodramatic, whether it's one of you or both.

[Rachel Cruze]

I think both. I think both. And so no having a plan financially before he goes. Is that wrong? No.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, what's 30 out 6 cost around now?

[Rachel Cruze]

Around a dollar and a half.

[Dave Ramsey]

Dollar and a half. Okay. Yeah, that. That's what it should cost him to kill a deer.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Assuming he can get it one shot or two.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right. So $5 in ammunition. Right. And. But hey, it can add up. Gas and yada, yada. I do think you're right. Having a plan financially is important. It's good. And let's take hunting off the table, because this seems to be a third real topic in your house. Let's say it's any number of things that you like to do. Baby step two is survival. It's about running and gunning. And you put a pause on expensive things. You put a pause on going out. You put a pause on some of these things. And so I can imagine Hope hasn't gone out to eat, hadn't been on a date, hadn't got her hair or nails done in a year, and husband wants to go spend $1,000 deer hunting. I get that. I get that. But I think beneath it, we have to say, yes, we're going to have a financial plan before we do anything. Anything. Especially in baby step two.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. But the other thing is this. Whatever it is you're trying to fit into your budget when you're working in baby step two, you look at it through a different lens than you do when you're rich someday.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

When you're rich someday, you know, you might pay some money to go do a hunt in a certain way. You might pay someone to process the deer. You might pay someone to have a beer. But hunting is different than having it mounted. Hunting is different than processing.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

There are three different activities here.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's exactly. There you go.

[Dave Ramsey]

So we can break this apart and Say one possibility is hunting makes me happy. It's the only thing that makes me happy. So go hunting. Kill a deer, take it out in the backyard, butcher it, and your family will actually save money on groceries as a result.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it's a net gain, but no processing fee and no mounting.

[Rachel Cruze]

Get our friend, the Butcher Brothers.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you have to say, mounting makes me happy. No, that doesn't on that one. Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

Thousand dollars piece of decoration on your wall.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. That collects dust. And pretty soon you'll be tired of Bambi's daddy. So. But yeah, really, seriously, we. We mounted a shark one time. We caught. And that thing, we couldn't get rid of it.

[Rachel Cruze]

No, you can never get rid of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Went from house to house, and finally it's in somebody's attic now.

[Rachel Cruze]

But you know what? As soon as that person dies, it's gonna end up in someone else's attic.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, it's probably gonna end up in the dumpster before it's. I mean, it's like it served its. It was way past its joy. But fishing makes me happy. No, it doesn't. Okay, so there you go. Yeah. So I think the trick here is find ways to do things you love and that are a net gain. This guy could actually go hunting. And it saves on the grocery bill. Net. Net zero cost. And even a positive to the family.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's exactly right. Yeah, that's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because deer tenderloin is phenomenal.

[Rachel Cruze]

I had one for lunch today.

[Dave Ramsey]

There we go. Just water.

[Rachel Cruze]

And so I'm saying this as someone who hunts a lot. I think there's some. There's just some straw man going on here. There's some false realities here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Crap going on in this. Yeah, yeah. For real. So, yeah, he needs to say, I'm all in for our goals. And so I'm going to decrease the grocery budget because I'm going to do the butchering this year myself. I'm going to not mount anything I kill this year myself. And if hunting makes you happy, you'll shoot another one you can mount later.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's.

[Rachel Cruze]

We're just going to shoot does this year. We're not going to mount anything. We're just shooting for food this year. And I'm going to get out and get some fresh air. I mean, we're going to go on from there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Bow hunt doesn't cost you anything, assuming you get the arrow back.

[Rachel Cruze]

Arrows are pretty expensive, man. They're way more expensive than bullets.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's true. You got to get it back. I mean, it's. This is just so.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, the Davis feels like he's a.

[Dave Ramsey]

Toddler if he's saying. If he's really saying this. He's acting like a toddler if he's really saying this.

[Rachel Cruze]

But it sounds like Hope has given up a lot this year, and she wants him to give up his thing. And when you start to score, that's the death of a relationship.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's not necessary. It's not necessary. It's. You know, how can we do all. How can we do as many of the things that we both want to do? And it doesn't have a net. Net loss to our budget that's substantial. That keeps us from accomplishing our big goals, which is financial freedom. So we can. If you hunt like no one else later, you can hunt like no one else.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, I like that. So. But here's another example. We tell people, don't go to restaurants. Don't go out on dates. You can't afford it. You're in baby step two. But you can go for a walk together and hold hands in the neighborhood. You can put the kids to bed and light some candles and talk to each other and make a date around your house. You're just gonna have to do it differently because you don't have any money, you're broke. And I think that's the same thing here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, exactly. Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

We're gonna find some ways to do it, but, man, everybody in this house needs to grow up a little bit. Jeez.

[Dave Ramsey]

Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.