My Uncle Owes Me $70,000 And Won’t Call Me Back

Summary

---

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: My Uncle Owes Me $70,000 And Won’t Call Me Back
Date: April 10, 2026
Theme:
This episode centers on a caller struggling with student loan debt whose inheritance from her father’s estate—approximately $70,000—is being withheld by her uncle, the estate executor, who has gone “completely ghost.” Dave Ramsey and his co-hosts offer practical and emotional advice on pursuing the owed money, handling potential family fallout, and understanding the legal and ethical responsibilities of an executor.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Situation and Frustration

• Background: The caller and her husband reduced their student debt from $146,000 to $65,000 and recently learned she’s due an inheritance of $70,000–$90,000.
• Issue: The caller’s uncle, the executor of her father’s estate, has not responded to any communication in over a year and a half—calls, emails, or texts—despite the house selling “a few years ago.”
• Emotional Toll: She’s frustrated knowing her debt “could be gone tomorrow” if not for this situation.
• Family Strain: There’s estrangement on her late father’s side of the family, weakening any personal connection.

2. Dave Ramsey’s Direct Advice

• Take Action: Dave is adamant about the need for immediate, direct, and repeated action.
  • Notable quote (01:02): “For $70,000, I’m going to go to his house.” — Dave Ramsey
  • Suggests persistently calling the uncle—"twice a day"—and warning of legal action if there’s no response.
• Escalation: The hosts encourage giving the uncle a 10-day ultimatum before securing an attorney.
  • Notable quote (03:56): “I’m going to hire an attorney, and I’m getting ready to jack his world up. I’m going to reach down his throat and pull him inside out... 11 freaking years.” — Dave Ramsey

3. The Legal and Ethical Angle

• Executor’s Responsibilities:
  • Notable quote (06:43): “The Executor executes... the actual terms of the will. If the will states house to be sold, proceeds to be distributed to children, that has to happen in a reasonable period of time. 11 years is 10 years past reasonable. That’s simple.”
• Fiduciary Duty: The uncle is a fiduciary, not allowed to “hold the money” because he personally thinks heirs are too young or unready.
• Legal Remedies:
  • While not necessarily theft in the criminal sense, it’s a “civil matter” due to the uncle’s failure of fiduciary duty.
  • Ramsey is skeptical about legal action against “broke people with no morals,” doubting recovery of any funds.

4. Family Dynamics and Responsibility

• Sibling Involvement: The caller has three siblings, but the family is presently “a little bit of strange at the moment.”
• Passivity's Cost:
  • Dave candidly notes the caller’s limited pursuit (“only called three times in a year”) and emphasizes personal responsibility for delay.
  • Notable quote (05:08): “I think he spent the money. I think you’re screwed. That’s what you’re going to find out.”

5. Closure and Psychological Well-being

• Closure Over Cash: Even if recovery is unlikely, Dave stresses achieving “psychological, emotional closure” and deciding whether to keep fighting for the money or move on.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey:

  • “For $70,000, I’m going to go to his house.” [01:02]
  • “You have to call him immediately. You can start nice. And then progressively over the next 30 days, you go from nice to I don’t care if you ever talk to me again. But I still want my money.” [04:53]
  • “I’m getting ready to jack his world up. I’m going to reach down his throat and pull him inside out. No. Really? 11 freaking years.” [03:56]
  • “He’s a fiduciary. It’s a civil matter. It’s not a theft because it was never in her name... you could sue him, but suing broke people with no morals is usually a waste of time. So you’re probably screwed because you sat on this for so long.” [05:23]
  • “The will said sell the house and distribute the money to the dumb people. That’s what it said. ... Even if you don’t agree with it. That’s what you take on when you take on the job of executor.” [06:43]

• Co-host (Rachel Cruze):

  • Encourages persistent calling and holding the executor accountable.
  • Suggests: “Call him and call him and call him twice a day.” [03:18]
  • “Maybe we try the calling thing.” [04:17]

• Caller:

  • “Well, here’s some tea. I just have a little bit of a feeling that he’s holding it because he thinks we’re, like, too young to manage it.” [02:39]
  • “I think I need a little kick in the butt.” [03:00]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:06–01:21: Caller explains inheritance situation and uncle’s disappearance.
• 01:54–02:16: Discussion of family relationships and impact of uncle’s absence.
• 03:07–03:56: Co-hosts urge aggressive pursuit and discuss legal steps.
• 04:53–05:23: Advice to escalate methodically from polite to forceful, legal consequences discussed.
• 06:43–End: Dave provides legal/ethical context for executors and summarizes lessons for listeners.

---

Conclusion

This episode starkly illustrates financial, legal, and emotional complexities when family and money mix—especially estates stuck in limbo. The hosts urge taking strong, immediate action to force the issue, highlight the executor’s legal obligations, and stress the risk of passive patience in similar scenarios. Ultimately, the episode offers a blend of practical steps, tough love, and sobering reality checks for anyone navigating inheritance disputes.

Transcript

[A]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[B]

Me and my husband, we had $146,000 of student debt. We've gotten it down to 65,000, so we've been kind of crushing it. But we do have, like, an inheritance from my father's estate. We kind of went down a rabbit hole, and we found out that each kid is probably going to get around 70 to 90,000. The house sold a few years ago, but my uncle is the executor, and he's just gone completely ghost. Like nothing in like a year and a half.

[A]

I'm sorry, what do you mean ghost? He's not returning calls or you can't find him or what?

[B]

Nothing? No, like, text, emails, calls.

[A]

Did you go to his house?

[B]

Zero. Well, we live in, like, different states. He's all the way across the country.

[A]

Well, for 70,000, I'm going to go to his house.

[B]

Yeah, I was talking to my husband about that. I'm like, is this like, something we get, like, I don't know, the authorities involved? Because it kind of like kills me that our debt could be gone tomorrow if I had, like, the estate, like.

[A]

So you've called. You've called his phone how many times?

[B]

Oh, gosh, a handful. Not like a ton of ton. Because I'm like, oh, okay, he has a life like, he has kids, but I'm starting to just get a little. A little peeved.

[A]

How many times have you called him? Like, three times. Over. How over? How long?

[B]

I mean, since we've been getting serious about the debts. Probably a year because we. My husband was in school, and then I was in college. We weren't really thinking about the estate at all. And now we're paying down the debt, like, oh, my gosh.

[A]

How long ago did your father die on the table?

[B]

In 2015.

[A]

Okay. Do you have a relationship of any kind with your uncle prior to this? Good or bad?

[B]

Just after my dad passed, that side of the family just. We kind of just dissipated.

[A]

So if you never spoke to him again, but you got your 70,000, your life wouldn't change much,

[B]

Right?

[A]

So jack him up.

[B]

Yeah. Like, call him a ton.

[A]

Yeah. And go, hey, I want my stinking money. 2015. That's 11 years to settle an estate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm getting ready to call the cops if I don't get a check. I'm calling the cops if you stole my money.

[C]

You think he stole it?

[A]

He might have stolen. It's been 11 years.

[B]

Oh, no. Well, here's some tea. I Just have a little bit of a feeling that he's holding it because he thinks we're, like, too young to manage it.

[A]

I've got a little bit of a feeling that I'm about to jack him up.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. See, I. Eleven years.

[C]

When did the house sell, though?

[A]

Just more pissed than you.

[B]

I know. Yeah. And I think that's the problem. I think I need a little kick in the butt. So I'm like, I'm just going to call and just say, when did.

[C]

When did the house. Yeah, when did the house sell, Jennifer? How long ago?

[B]

A few years ago.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

This stuff should be wrapped up in six months.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So he's ten and a half years too late.

[C]

Yes. Call him and call him and call him twice a day.

[B]

Okay. We're really wanting to move in August, and I'm like, we're not moving unless we're out of debt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm like, you need a late.

[A]

That's irrelevant to this discussion. Okay. Whether you move or not depends on if you're out of debt. And that depends on if you get out of debt with your money or you get some of this money that's due you. You may never see this money, but you need closure on this ridiculous EST situation. It's ridiculous.

[C]

How many siblings do you have?

[B]

I have three.

[C]

And what are they saying?

[B]

Well, a little bit of strange at the moment. Not gonna lie.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Having a little bit of a family.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

So I'm gonna let. I'm gonna let uncle know that he's got 10 days to send me the. To close out the estate and send me my money. And if he doesn't do that, I'm going to hire an attorney, and I'm getting ready to jack his world up. I'm going to reach down his throat and pull him inside out. No. Really? 11 freaking years.

[C]

She's only called him three times in a year. So maybe we try the calling thing.

[A]

Yeah. Call him and say, I want my money. And then if he says, okay, then I'm going to call again if you want my money. And then I'm going to call again and I'm going to go, hey, it's been 20 minutes. Where's my money? This is 11 years.

[B]

Definitely. Yes. Rachel's correct that I haven't put my foot, like, on the gas at all. But now that we're, like, going crazy with the debt, I'm like, okay, they've

[C]

taken you from, like, taking you from

[A]

0 to 100, but you need to go there.

[C]

You need to Go middle.

[A]

Yeah, well, you need to be prepared to go to 100 in the next 30 days.

[B]

30 seconds. I'll do it as soon as I get off.

[A]

You have to call him immediately. You can start nice. And then progressively over the next 30 days, you go from nice to I don't care if you ever talk to me again. But I still want my money.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

This has gone on too long.

[B]

Take it.

[A]

It's gone on too long. And I think he spent the money. I think you're screwed. That's what you're going to find out.

[B]

That's what I'm almost thinking. It's not even there.

[A]

Yeah, it's not legal at all.

[C]

No, I said isn't that illegal?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Yeah. So what happens then?

[A]

He's a fiduciary. It's a civil matter. It's not a theft because it was never in her name. He's the executor of the estate. He did not function in his duties. Right, his fiduciary. His fiduciary duties. So you could sue him, but suing broke people with no morals is usually a waste of time. So you're probably screwed because you sat on this for so long. But I'm gonna go ahead and get psychological, emotional closure on this and then decide what I'm gonna do with the guy that stole my money. Now I'm just gonna forgive and walk away and forget it because I didn't follow up. Or am I gonna lean on it? Or has he got some assets and I'm gonna tap him? I don't know. I mean, you gotta decide what you're gonna do then. But I think you're gonna find there's no money. That's what I think. And you bear part of the responsibility for that by letting this go on this long, by not managing the situation. Well, it's unhealthy for an estate to be open 11 years. It's not normal. Okay? He didn't do his job as the executor of the estate. And if he's sitting on the money, I'll give you a 10% chance. That's what it is. 90%. He spent that money. And he's got some whacked out, weird family justification bull crap in his mind for doing that. But he still stole your money. I'll bet you. We'll see. We'll see. You can call us back and tell us later.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

Yeah. So, gang, when you are due, when you are the heir to an estate, you are not in charge of the estate. The Executor executes. Thus the word execute is in the word executor executes the actual terms of the will. If the will states house to be sold, proceeds to be distributed to children, that has to happen in a reasonable period of time. 11 years is 10 years past reasonable. That's simple. Okay. That's an actual practical thing. And so as an heir, I at the one year mark and periodically after six months, I'm going to be getting reports from the executor as to what the progress is and when I expect to see the payout that my dad left in his will for me. And you're going to give me those reports as the executor or I'm going to drag your butt before the judge and he's going to make you give a report because that is your fiduciary responsibility to your job, your trust job as the executor. You do not get to decide, oh well, they're done with money, so I'm going to hold the money. That's not what the will said. The will said sell the house and distribute the money to the dumb people. That's what it said. And you have to do what the will said, even if it's uncomfortable, even if you don't agree with it. That's what you take on when you take on the job of executor. And if you've ever been the executor of an estate, you will promise to never do it again because it's a royal pain in the butt. And most of the time, unless it's a huge estate, you don't get paid for this privilege. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.