The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: My Wife Is Spending Too Much And Won't Pay Off Debt
Date: December 14, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network (Featuring Rachel Cruze and co-host)
Caller: Cody

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a call from Cody, a husband and father overwhelmed by medical debt, credit card debt, and a growing disconnect with his wife's spending habits. The hosts walk Cody through both the financial and relational aspects of their situation, urging healthy communication and collaborative financial planning.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Cody’s Situation: Mounting Debt and Marital Strain

• Newly Married Couple: Five years together and three children born within that time frame.
• Medical Crisis & Debt: Their youngest child was hospitalized in the ICU, leading to $35,000 in medical debt.
• Credits and Spending: As Cody’s income increased, so did his wife’s spending.
  • Used credit cards to pay some medical bills (“I figured out was a no, no.” – Cody, 01:24).
  • $7,000 in credit card debt remains, in addition to ongoing medical debt.
• Big Vehicle Purchase: Purchased a $50,000 vehicle a year ago under pressure from his wife.
  • “We messed up when we bought the car and now it’s kind of a paycheck to paycheck… thing.” (02:01)
• Savings Drain:
  • After selling a house, they had $20,000 in savings; now it's down to about $5,000.
  • Most expenditures were everyday costs—clothes for the kids, groceries, household needs.

Marriage Dynamics and Communication Challenges

• Cody as Sole Budgeter: Cody manages all finances since his wife is a stay-at-home mom caring for their children.
• Attempts to Rein In Spending: Feeds money to his wife through their joint account, setting limits she regularly exceeds (e.g., $100 turns into $150).
• Tension Over Control: “Cody, you’re not her dad.” (Host Rachel Cruze, 05:45)

The Hosts’ Advice: Budgeting as a Team

• Separate vs. United:
  • Rachel points out their budgeting is technical but not emotional or collaborative.
  • Red flag: He sets spending limits rather than creating plans together.
  • “You need to come to her and say you have... You don’t need to say, ‘Well, you’re spending too much...’” (07:29)
• Empathy and Understanding Reality:
  • “She is seeing expenses every day and knowing the reality... you may learn something in sitting down with her.” (06:50)
  • Recognizing expenses for kids (e.g., uniforms, groceries) might be higher than Cody realizes.
• Communication Reset:
  • Advice to Cody: Express feelings (“I’m freaking out over here... I feel so disconnected…”) to foster empathy and collaborative problem-solving.
  • Encourage regular budget meetings as equal partners, not one-off lectures.
  • Memorable quote: “I would beg you to say that’s one of the best things you can do because out of that budget meeting... you’ll be able to actually discuss it together, not these one-off conversations.” (07:54)
• Uncovering Deeper Issues:
  • Host: “There’s a reason that this is off putting for her and you’ve got to get to the bottom of what that is.” (08:39)
  • Suggests that the spending may stem from deeper emotional or contextual issues (her upbringing, loss of financial autonomy, etc.).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rachel Cruze on budgeting as a couple:

  “You need to come to her and say you have... You don’t need to say, ‘Well, you’re spending too much.’ Cody, you need to tell her ‘I’m freaking out over here... I feel so disconnected. I feel so fearful... I feel like we are not on the same page.’”
  (07:29)

• Highlighting their disconnect:

  “You’re not her dad. Even though maybe technically it’s together, emotionally and plan wise, you guys are on two different tracks.”
  (05:45)

• On understanding real-life expenses:

  “She is seeing expenses every single day and knowing the reality of what things cost... you may learn something in sitting down with her...”
  (06:50)

• The importance of collaborative budgeting:

  “That’s one of the best things you can do because out of that budget meeting... you’ll be able to actually discuss it together, not these one-off conversations.”
  (07:54)

• On underlying issues:

  “It’s never just, ‘Well, she won’t stick to the budget.’ There’s always something beneath. And you’ve got to be a professional detective to figure out what that is instead of just saying, ‘Well, she won’t do it and I’ve got to make her do it.’”
  (08:47)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:11-01:40 - Cody outlines his family, medical emergency, and accumulating debt.
• 01:53-02:01 - The story behind the $50,000 vehicle purchase.
• 02:58-03:27 - The rapid depletion of their savings account.
• 04:19-04:47 - Cody’s household income breakdown.
• 05:32-05:45 - Hosts challenge Cody’s method of handling joint finances.
• 06:50-07:54 - Rachel Cruze’s comprehensive advice on healthy budgeting conversations.
• 08:39-09:17 - Discussion about underlying emotional or psychological issues influencing money habits.

Conclusion

The episode delivers a case study in the intersection of financial pressures and marital tension. The hosts encourage Cody—and listeners in similar situations—to restructure their approach to budgeting as a cooperative team effort, emphasizing open communication, mutual understanding, and empathy. Rather than viewing financial management as a solo or paternalistic task, the advice pushes for honest dialogue and shared ownership of the family’s financial future.