Parents Asking Their 10-Year-Old For Money?

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Parents Asking Their 10-Year-Old For Money?
Date: October 26, 2025
Hosts: [Unspecified, but advice aligns with Dave Ramsey & team]
Main Theme:
How to handle a family situation where parents are asking their underage children, as young as 10, for financial help with basic household needs—examining the ethics, practical steps, and emotional fallout.

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Main Takeaways

1. Caller’s Dilemma and Context

• [00:06] The caller describes a troubling family situation:
  • His in-laws have been asking their own children (aged 10, 12, and 17) for money to cover basic bills.
  • The 10-year-old gave $400 (earned from dog sitting) for groceries, and the 17-year-old “lent” $1,000 for monthly bills.
  • The in-laws’ business is struggling; the caller’s wife overheard they are $10,000 short per month.
• The caller seeks guidance: "We're kind of confused on what to do."
  (B, 00:06)

2. The Ramsey Team’s Initial Response

• [00:47 & 01:26] The hosts ask clarifying questions to confirm the extent of hardship and stress the seriousness of involving children in financial problems.
  • Key Quote: “Before that I'm always going to protect kids of course. And if you got a 10 year old that's coming to you saying dad is saying I don't have enough money for groceries, I need your dog sitting money, then I would personally I would insert myself into that situation.”
    (C, 01:47)

3. Ethics and Family Boundaries

• They acknowledge their usual advice: “You can't help family unless they come ask you.”
  (C, 01:47)

  • Exception here due to children's welfare: it's financial, not physical abuse, but still unacceptable.

• Caller's Frustration:

  • Struggles to respect people who rely on their kids and others, making poor financial choices.
  • “It’s hard for me to have respect for people like that... A lot of this is self cause.”
    (B, 02:12)

4. How to Approach the Conversation

• [02:53–04:10] Strategy: The wife (not the caller) should gently approach her parents—preferably alone and without confrontation—to avoid decades-long family rifts:
  • “If the two of you go over there…and insert yourself in this situation, you are changing the trajectory of the next 40 years.”
    (A, 02:53)
  • “If you show up saying I don't respect you guys, they're going to take it out of the house. That's not going to help either.”
    (C, 03:57)

5. Practical and Emotional Impact

• Recognize that discussing money with parents is very sensitive and likely to be met with resistance or denial.
  • “If she sits down with her mom and dad and says, y' all need to stop this, y' all need to become responsible adults, my guess is about a zero percent chance that that's going to have any impact.”
    (A, 03:44)

6. Best Course of Action

• [04:10–06:16]
  • Have an honest conversation, led by the daughter, about actual needs and ways to help.
  • The aim: open a dialogue about the family's struggles without blame.
  • Don’t give money directly (it won’t solve the $10k/month deficit).
  • “We only give Ramsey's only give into situations where we create a sustainable story. We don't throw money at something.”
    (A, 06:16)
  • Instead: Offer to pay for financial coaching, budgeting help, or other sustainable resources.

7. Protecting the Children

• The hosts stress keeping lines of support open for the kids:
  • Even if the parents refuse help, make sure the children know they have a "safe place" and are loved.
  • Recognize that a bad financial upbringing doesn’t have to be a permanent roadblock:
    • “It's a bad on ramp to life, but it's not an on ramp that can't be corrected. A lot of us have bad on ramps.”
      (A, 05:16)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• C [01:47]:
  “Before that I'm always going to protect kids of course. And if you got a 10 year old that's coming to you saying dad is saying I don't have enough money for groceries, I need your dog sitting money, then I would personally I would insert myself into that situation.”

• A [02:53]:
  “If the two of you go over there at two years into this and insert yourself in this situation, you are changing the trajectory of the next 40 years.”

• A [03:44]:
  “If she sits down with her mom and dad and says, y' all need to stop this, y' all need to become responsible adults, my guess is about a zero percent chance that that's going to have any impact.”

• A [06:16]:
  “We only give Ramsey's only give into situations where we create a sustainable story. We don't throw money at something. $5 at something that's $100 problem.”

• A [05:16]:
  “It's a bad on ramp to life, but it's not an on ramp that can't be corrected. A lot of us have bad on ramps.”

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Timestamps & Segment Highlights

• 00:06: Caller presents family situation (parents borrowing money from kids)
• 00:47–02:12: Expanding on the children's financial involvement and parental struggle
• 02:12–03:10: Discussion of respect, family dynamics, and length of financial issues
• 03:10–04:10: Strategic advice: who should approach and how, avoiding direct confrontation
• 04:10–06:07: Conversation mechanics: planning, potential parental reactions, what to say
• 06:07–07:23: What real help looks like (coaching, not cash); defining sustainable support
• 07:23–07:42: Framing conversation with parents – sharing personal budgeting success as invitation, not accusation

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Summary Table

| Timestamp | Section/Topic | Key Point/Quote | |-----------|----------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:06 | Caller Story | "Parents asking kids (ages 10, 12, 17) for money for bills and groceries." | | 01:47 | Children Involvement | “Before that I’m always going to protect kids of course…” (financial abuse angle) | | 02:53 | Approach & Family Dynamics | “Insert yourself and you change the trajectory of the next 40 years.” | | 03:44 | Likelihood of Parental Change | “Zero percent chance that’s going to have any impact.” | | 05:16 | Long-Term Outlook | “It’s a bad on ramp to life, but it’s not an on ramp that can’t be corrected…” | | 06:16 | Sustainable Solution | “We only give into situations where we create a sustainable story… not just throw money at the problem.” |

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Conclusion

The hosts recommend a delicate but firm approach—protecting the children emotionally, not giving money to perpetuate unsustainable habits, and offering support via financial education. Confrontation should be avoided unless absolutely necessary, with the daughter leading a caring, open conversation. The episode underscores the importance of setting healthy boundaries, giving without enabling, and believing that bad financial beginnings can be overcome.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Well guys, I'm gonna start off a little bit of a doozy here so I do apologize. But my wife and I have just recently found out that her parents are asking my wife's sisters that are under 18 for money for basic bills. We don't really know. You know, I've heard in the past you guys say like don't say anything unless they come to you and ask for help or guidance. We're just kind of stuck because you know my sister in laws are 10, 12 and then 17. So I'm just kind of, we're kind of confused on what to do.

[A]

How much money do they have?

[B]

Well so my, so the younger sister in laws they were you know working over the summer. So basically what happened was, is you know my sister, my 10 year old sister in law told us that well mom and dad kept saying that we don't have enough money for groceries this month and blah blah blah. So I offered him my $400 that I got from dog sitting and they took it for groceries. And then our or my 17 year old sister in law came over two weeks ago and said that they had quote unquote borrowed a thousand dollars from her for, for bills for last month to cover.

[C]

Is this true? Are they struggling that bad?

[B]

I, I would, I would say so, yes. It's been talked about. You know, a couple months ago my wife overheard that they're like $10,000 short a month. He, my father in law owns his own business and it's been, I know it's been struggling for quite a while.

[C]

So I, I, I, I want to put things in order. I have you hear us say on the all the time you can't help family unless they come ask you. But before that I'm always going to protect kids of course. And if you got a 10 year old that's coming to you saying dad is saying I don't have enough money for groceries, I need your dog sitting money, then I would, I personally I would insert myself into that situation.

[B]

Okay, okay. And that's what we were thinking because you know it's, it's really hard for me to have respect for people like that that you know they are in a situation where they rely on everybody else to get them out of their problems. They blame everybody else except for themselves. A lot of this is self cause just based off their career choices that they've had. So it's hard for me to have respect. It's hard. My wife to have respect as well.

[A]

So how long have you been worried?

[B]

It'll be two years in February.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. I'm take back what I said. I'd have your wife call, not you, but okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And I think she. Yeah, because here's the thing. If the two of you go over there at two years into this and insert yourself in this situation, you are changing the trajectory of the next 40 years.

[B]

Of course. Yep.

[A]

It's not simply the situation. Yes. What you're describing is 100% disgusting. I'm not questioning that at all. And if they were abusing the children physically, we would just turn them over to children's services, Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's not to be that simple because we're just not going to allow that to happen. They're just abusing them financially. And so I think, But I don't think your wife, your wife's what, 20 something years old?

[B]

Yeah. She's. She's 23.

[A]

Yeah. If she sits down with her mom and dad and says, y' all need to stop this, y' all need to become responsible adults, my guess is about a zero percent chance that that's going to have any impact.

[B]

110%.

[C]

And if you show up saying I don't respect you guys, they're going to take it out of their house. That's not going to help either.

[A]

Yeah. That's a 40 year, that's a 40 year long discussion. I'm trying to think. In other words, what will work is more what I'm thinking about.

[C]

What, what Dave, tell me if I'm wrong. So my thought is when I, when I say, insert myself into that, it would be your wife calling mom and dad and saying, can we talk? And she's got to be careful because the backlash could come down on a 10 year old. Right? Yeah. But we just, in my.

[B]

Sorry, go ahead in. My idea at first was like, you know, my wife, I told her, I was like, what if you like take your mom out to coffee and be like, you know, mom, we've heard some of this stuff from, you know, my sisters, like how bad is it?

[A]

Is it really, is that really happening? Y' all really that bad? Yeah.

[C]

And is, is there, is there ways we can help or is there ways we can support you or is there education? They may say absolutely not. And then it's about giving your, your niece or your sister in law, if you will, a safe place that she always knows she's loved somewhere else. But that's just going to, she's going to have eight Years of mom and dad borrowing money.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. And you know, that's our fear because, you know, they're setting the kids up for just a lifelong.

[C]

Yeah, but you're 25. You're 24. I would stay out of that for right now.

[A]

Yeah, that's not, that's not. Okay, that's actually not true either. It's. It's a bad. It's a bad on ramp to life, but it's not an on ramp that can't be corrected. A lot of us have bad on ramps.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we get the opportunity to meet Jesus and change our life. Okay, so then those kids have got the same thing. They're not being a physical. Physically abused.

[C]

Yeah. So let me refer. When I say insert myself, I don't mean you flex and put on a sleeveless shirt and go bang on the door. I, I think, I think your wife taking mom out for coffee, taking dad out and saying, hey, we just happen to hear this. How I'm worried about y'. All.

[A]

How I'm worried about my sisters.

[C]

Yeah, how bad is it?

[B]

Definitely?

[C]

And then y' all two have a hard conversation about, could you help? Will you help? And all that. Because the next question is going to be, well, can we have $500? And y' all already have that predetermined discussion before she heads into that.

[A]

No, go ahead and I'll give you the answer to that. No, you're right, because they're saying they're $10,000 short a month. So I'm not throwing good money after bad. So.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I. We only give Ramsey's only give into situations where we create a sustainable story. We don't throw money at something. $5 at something. That's $100 problem. That's not. You're not creating a sustainable story, then you've got to fix the problem. You got to get down under it. And so that's going to involve maybe what I would pay is for them to get with a Ramsey coach. And the Ramsey coach boxes their ears and says, you have to sell the three cars. You guys, you cannot afford these stupid cars. You can't afford to live in that house. Oh, maybe you need to get a job because your life, your business is not a business. It loses money. It's called a hobby. And so, no, we're going to have to. You know, these types of things are going on under the scene because if they're $10,000 short, the thousand dollars from the 17 year old or the $400 from the 10 year old doesn't fix it, nor does $500 from you fix it. So don't do that. But do say, I'll cheer you on. I'll help you do a budget. I'll connect you with some people and pay for it for you to get some coaching to get yourself out of this. You've struggled with this your whole life. I've watched you. I'm your daughter and you know I'd love for you to be free from these demons.

[C]

And you and I have talked about this before on the air, but parents don't like hearing money advice. So if she sits down and says, y' all need to start, that's not going to go well. But that idea of sitting down saying, hey, I'm worried about you. How bad is it? Are you all okay?

[A]

We and then tell them your story.

[C]

That's a different avenue.

[A]

We are on a budget and it's giving us great peace. We have sold some stuff to be able to get in get our our income in line with our outgo and it's given us great peace. And if I could ever help you get with our coach, we'll show you how to do that. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.