Rachel Cruze (2:25)

Call bull. We all work hard. Call the wambulance. Wah. He worked really hard. So that gives him permission to constantly be at odds with his wife instead of coming into agreement and deciding on what our future goals are together. Bull crap. That's selfishness.

Melissa (2:41)

Agree with him.

Rachel Cruze (2:43)

And I just, I know that's selfishness.

Chris Hogan (2:45)

You don't agree to stupidity. And so separating the finances is not going to give you a better marriage. It'll just brush the problem under the

Rachel Cruze (2:52)

rug, makes it worse.

Chris Hogan (2:53)

It'll separate you guys further.

Dave Ramsey (2:55)

If you're serious about budgeting, you can't ignore health care. For most families, it's one of the biggest line items, y'.

Melissa (3:02)

All.

Dave Ramsey (3:02)

You can cut subscriptions and eating out, but if you're still stuck with a massive premium every month, it's going to be stressful. Now, Christian Healthcare Ministries is different. It's not insurance. It's believers sharing each other's medical bills. And the best part, programs start at just $115 a month. So go to chministries.org budget and use code Ramsey for 50% credit towards your first month.

Chris Hogan (3:28)

Makes it worse, it'll separate you guys further.

Melissa (3:32)

Okay. Yes, sir.

Rachel Cruze (3:33)

Yeah, because he's going to burn all of his in the corner, and then you're going to be trying to run the whole family on yours.

Chris Hogan (3:39)

And then are you going to split expenses and split the mortgage and split the utilities like roommates?

Melissa (3:45)

I considered like, doing like, you know, I make significantly less than him.

Rachel Cruze (3:51)

Like, okay, let's try. Let's try this. You do not have a money problem. You have a marriage problem. So let's not fix a marriage problem with a money solution. Let's fix a marriage problem with a marriage solution. You guys need to go see a marriage counselor. You need to sit down with your pastor, and it's time for you all to put this marriage together the first time completely that you ever have. Before, you were the mommy taking care of the little boy. Now the little boy's rising up and saying, I want to vote and I don't agree with everything you're doing. And the two of you can't find a language to reconcile in your relationship on your disagreements. That's not a money problem. That's a marriage problem.

Melissa (4:35)

Yes, sir.

Rachel Cruze (4:36)

So you guys get on the phone and get your marriage counselor booked. And it's not Sharon. I went to marriage counseling, Melissa. When we were been married 10 years, we were married 43. Now we went. We went broke when we were seven. At seven years. And so three years later, all the pissed off came to the surface from going broke because we about killed each other. But what we got at marriage counseling was not like, we're broke and you need to fix us. I looked at it as like, I hired a tutor, I hired a personal trainer to give me skills and knowledge about marriage that I didn't have from the home I grew up in. So I need you to teach me something to be married as a better husband. I need you to teach her something to be married as. As a better wife and teach us language and processes to get through arguments like this and come to a conclusion. And so I just looked at it as I hired a personal trainer. I hired a. Hired a tutor. You know, and I'm trying to get knowledge tools in my belt because I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to fix it by myself. And y' all don't know how to fix it by yourself, but it's not separating the money. And you go off to your corner, and he goes off to his corner. That's gonna make it worse. So I would say the two of you, not because you're broken, not because you're all screwed up, but you have some things you need to learn that you've never learned in 13 years about how to talk to each other, how to Bible says, submit yourselves one to another, how to put the other person first. That's what I was talking about, selfishness. And I've been doing this 43 years, and it's still hard because I'm still right and she's still wrong. But I told her, if she leaves, I'm going with her. So there you go. But that's it. I mean, you know, it's hard, you know, and to navigate through this, you guys, you and Whitney had a bit of an advantage in that you started out as financial peace test tube babies here.

Chris Hogan (6:36)

That's right. She worked here at Ramsey. And I thought, if she's good enough to work for Dave Ramsey, she's good enough for me, probably too good for me. And I was right.

Rachel Cruze (6:43)

That's true. But, yeah, it was easy.

Chris Hogan (6:45)

But I have found Dave. People that get married, they're not unified on money, but they go, well, he's just bad with money. Just a personality trait.

Rachel Cruze (6:51)

And then when I start picking on him, she says, oh, he works hard. Oh, give me a. I think he

Chris Hogan (6:56)

works too hard to be this broken, selfish, and childish.

Rachel Cruze (6:59)

Oh, there we go.

Chris Hogan (7:00)

So there's one.

Rachel Cruze (7:01)

Boom. Drop that mic on it. Yeah. So, folks, here's the thing. What we found in 35, almost 40 years of helping people build wealth, get out of debt so that they can build wealth. Build wealth so that they can change their family tree and be outrageously generous. You know, there's a couple things we're sure of. Very few, if almost none of the married couples that build wealth do it separately. When we did the largest study of millionaires, we said, how many of you work together with your spouse, and how many of you work separate? 83% said, we work together. The general public says, less than 50% says, we'll work together. But the general public's normal. And normal sucks. It's broke. You don't want to be normal. And so if you want an advantage to building wealth, it's learn to work together with your spouse, be unified in a desired future, as our friend Henry Cloud says. And then you say, okay, how does this discussion we're having affect that future? You're wanting to buy something we can't afford. It affects that future. You want to be irresponsible with money? It affects that future. We've agreed that this is the future we want. We've got an agreed upon desired future. And anything that affects that negatively, hey, we need to look at it.

Chris Hogan (8:21)

It's a wealth multiplier to be on the same page financially sharing the account. That's just the facts of it, Melissa.

Rachel Cruze (8:27)

All the years of doing this show, your call is the number one call we get. How do I get my reluctant spouse on board with your Ramsey stuff? How do we get agreement in our house? It's the number one call we get.

Dave Ramsey (8:40)

Christian Healthcare Ministries can save your family hundreds of dollars on health care every month. Learn more@chministries.org budget.