She's A Single Mom Of 7 And Her Husband Won't Give Her Money

Summary

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Podcast Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: "She's A Single Mom Of 7 And Her Husband Won't Give Her Money"
Date: December 28, 2025
Host(s): Dave Ramsey (A), Rachel Cruze (C)
Caller: Elizabeth (B) – single mom of seven, recently separated

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Episode Overview

This episode addresses the urgent and emotionally charged predicament of Elizabeth, a newly single mother of seven, navigating a divorce with an uncooperative soon-to-be ex-husband who refuses to provide financial support. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze offer practical, tough-love advice, focusing on legal rights, urgent income needs, and the realities of her situation. The segment is direct and empathetic, loaded with actionable steps and emotional support for someone facing immense pressure.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Legal Inaction & Urging Advocacy

• Elizabeth’s Situation: She has seven children, is still early in her divorce (only one custody hearing), and has not received any child support.

  • “I have not received a dime.” (B, 00:39)
  • Her husband believes he isn’t obligated to pay: “Because he doesn't think that he should.” (B, 00:42)

• Dave Ramsey’s Response:

  • Dave is incredulous at both the husband’s refusal and the apparent inactivity of Elizabeth’s attorney.
  • Strongly advises Elizabeth to confront her attorney:
    • “Was your attorney a wuss or not smart?” (A, 01:07)
    • “You need to pick up the phone and chew their ass.” (A, 01:18)
    • “It’s not up to him. It's up to your attorney to get off his butt and talk to the judge about sending the woman with seven children some money.” (A, 00:44)
  • Dave criticizes attorneys who don’t act quickly in such matters:
    • “Can’t think of anything that makes me madder than attorneys who sit on their thumbs.” (A, 01:25)

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2. Income, Employment & Logistical Realities

• Elizabeth’s Employment & Student Loan Debt:

  • Recently completed EMT training but can’t commit to a normal EMT schedule (48 hours on, 96 off) due to child care issues.
  • Owes $6,550 in student loans.
  • Currently makes $204 per week in home care with sporadic substitute teaching at $91/day.
    (Detailed from 02:14–05:26)

• Barriers to Work:

  • One daughter, a twin, struggles with suicidal thoughts and refuses to stay with her father, creating a supervision challenge.
  • Elizabeth’s family is distant and can’t provide regular support.

• Host Recommendations:

  • Dave and Rachel highlight that “it's not unusual at all” for courts to accommodate work schedules like EMT shifts in custody arrangements, and Elizabeth should push her attorney on this. (A, 03:18 - 04:00)
  • Suggests rearranging the working weeks so income is maximized during times her children are with their father.
  • Urges leveraging all available help and being strategic with any family support as needed.

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3. Emotional and Psychological Dimensions

• Control and Power Dynamics:

  • Dave emphasizes throughout the episode that Elizabeth’s husband has exerted undue control and that, in reality, the courts and legal system, if properly engaged, would be on her side:

    • “You seem to think he has control of this. He has no control. There are these neat things called laws.” (A, 03:18)

  • Dave identifies the ex-husband as a “control freak, overbearing bully”:

    • “Your soon to be ex is a control freak, overbearing bully, isn’t he?” (A, 04:06)

• Notable Guidance on Self-Advocacy:

  • Dave repeatedly corrects Elizabeth’s assumptions about what her ex “can” do, reminding her and listeners of the power of the law when properly enforced.
    • “He’s so neutered he doesn’t even know it. He’s got seven freaking children. The judge is going to mop the floor with him.” (A, 04:31)

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4. Urgency of Action & Immediate Resources

• Immediate Steps:

  • Dave’s concrete, urgent advice:

    • “Hang up and call your attorney and say if I don't start getting some checks immediately out of this guy to feed these seven children, we're over here on freaking food stamps and he has seven children. He's paying nothing. You're not doing your job.” (A, 08:01 - 08:18)

  • Even with all the obstacles, Dave and Rachel urge creating additional income whenever possible in the short term.

  • Rachel and Dave provide practical assistance by offering grocery gift cards from a show sponsor (Aldi). (C, 08:22; A, 08:29)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave (on attorney action):

  • “Was your attorney a wuss? You need to pick up the phone and chew their ass.” (A, 00:02, 01:18)
  • “Can’t think of anything that makes me madder.” (A, 00:10, 01:25)

• Elizabeth (on financial realities):

  • “I actually had to borrow money from my daughter to be able to pay the retainer. And I'm currently making $204 weekly.” (B, 05:11)

• Rachel (encouragement and concern):

  • “Do you have the ability to find someone new if you needed legal counsel?” (C, 05:06)

• Dave (on custody, law, and power):

  • “You seem to think he has control of this. He has no control. There are these neat things called laws.” (A, 03:18)
  • “This guy's so neutered he doesn't even know it.” (A, 04:31)

• Rachel (compassion and support):

  • “Hold on the line. Christian's gonna pick up. We have Aldi gift cards, Elizabeth… we’ll hook you up with some of those.” (C, 08:22)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:12] – Caller Elizabeth introduces her situation.
• [00:41] – Elizabeth explains her husband refuses support.
• [01:07] – Attorney criticism & urgency for action.
• [02:14] – Elizabeth details her financial and employment status.
• [03:18] – Dave’s legal advice on custody/work schedules.
• [04:06] – Dave discusses power dynamics with ex-husband.
• [05:11] – Elizabeth’s struggle affording legal help.
• [05:56] – Elizabeth shares daughter’s mental health concerns.
• [07:34] – Food stamps and community aid discussed.
• [08:01] – Dave’s closing, urgent action step for Elizabeth.
• [08:22] – Rachel and Dave provide immediate support (Aldi gift cards).

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Summary Tone

The episode is an unfiltered, emotionally charged, but supportive intervention for a mother in crisis. Dave’s directness is tough but compassionate, focused on empowering Elizabeth to assert her rights and push for fair treatment, while Rachel’s questions and offers express empathy and practical support.

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For Listeners

This episode is a candid, motivating primer on asserting one’s rights, leveraging the legal system, and refusing to let a controlling ex dictate the terms—especially when children’s well-being is at stake. It balances tough love, real-world advice, and immediate generosity, offering hope (and grocery money) for a mom at her breaking point.

Transcript

[A]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Was your attorney a wuss? You need to pick up the phone and chew their ass. Can't think of anything that makes me madder.

[B]

I am a newly single mother of seven children in the process of getting a divorce and I do not make enough money to survive. And I need to know what to do next.

[C]

My gosh. Where are you guys in the divorce process?

[B]

We have only just had one hearing about custody.

[A]

Is he right?

[B]

Other than that, it's still no.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I have not received a dime.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because he doesn't think that he should.

[A]

It's not up to him. It's up to your attorney to get off his butt and talk to the judge about sending the woman with seven children some money.

[B]

Yeah, well, right now we're having the kids half and half.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

I get them a week.

[A]

Yeah, he needs to be writing checks to you in any state.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was your attorney a wuss or not smart?

[B]

I'm beginning to wonder. But I don't have the funds to get anyone else at this point, so.

[A]

Oh, you. You need to pick up the phone and chew their ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Can you say that?

[A]

I just said that. I mean, I got a lady with seven children that's not getting supported by her deadbeat, soon to be ex and the attorney sitting on their thumb. Can't think of anything that makes me matter. Holiday spending can spiral fast, but your phone bill doesn't have to. Boost Mobile helps you take control. Your first three months are just 10 bucks a month. Then it's a flat $25 for unlimited talk, text and data. No contracts, no surprises. Just reliable service that keeps your budget in check. Visit Boost Mobile.com Ramsey and stretch your dollars further this season. Restrictions apply. See boost mobile.com Ramsey for details. Can't think of anything that makes me madder than attorneys who sit on their thumbs.

[B]

Yeah, so currently I have $6,550 in student loans. That's what I. I was able to get that. I graduated this summer with an EMT license and I got that so I could move out.

[A]

How old are the kids? How old are your children?

[B]

Eight to 15. Two sets of twins.

[A]

When are you starting the EMT gig?

[B]

Well, there is a possible opening in January, but again, because of the situation with the kids, it's going to be really difficult for me to get like a vanilla EMT job because it's usually 48 on, 96 off, and I don't. I want. I have the kids. I have to.

[A]

You know, I think it's very doable. The 48 year old, they're on him.

[B]

Right. But again, he's, he's been very.

[A]

I don't care what he wants. You seem to think he has control of this. He has no control. There are these neat things called laws. When your attorney actually bows up and acts like an attorney. No, definitely. Listen, not unusual at all for one of the spouses in a divorce that has child. Has co care custody with their children to be working for the fire department of the EMT and have 48 on, 96 off. That's a fairly normal rhythm. And to put the childcare, the child custody arrangement to fit that rhythm is not unusual at all. It's done every day in divorce courts in America.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[A]

When somebody has an attorney.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So yeah. So this guy, this guy is a. Your soon to be ex is a control freak, overbearing bully, isn't he?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And has been for how long?

[B]

17 of our 18 years.

[A]

Okay. Because you twice in the conversation already gave him way more power than he actually has. Yeah, and two times I corrected you on it. You following me? He really doesn't have. I mean this is a. Yeah. This guy's. He's so neutered he doesn't even know it. He's got seven freaking children. The judge is going to mop the floor with him. Assuming your attorney actually shows up for work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So. Yeah, this is Elizabeth.

[C]

Do you have the ability to get someone.

[A]

I would want to be him walking in front of a judge.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry, Rachel, what was that?

[C]

Do you have the ability to find someone new if you needed legal counsel? That's different.

[B]

For your sake, I don't think so. I actually had to borrow money from my daughter to be able to pay the retainer. And I'm currently making $204 weekly.

[A]

Doing what?

[B]

Just in home care. I do in home care and then when I can, I do substitute teaching. And that pays $91 a day.

[A]

And he's not taking care of the kids at all. He's not doing any of the child custody right now at all.

[B]

Well, he's got the kids every other week. With the exception of one of my oldest twins, she's at my house every week. Okay, so.

[A]

So you could be working that entire week for a lot more than 204. Right. And you need to be.

[B]

But the problem is, is the reason that my daughter is at our house is because she, she was suicidal and going to her dad's was making it worse.

[A]

Oh, I can't imagine. I can imagine. Is she not. Is she not safe at your house?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, then go work. The week that she. The week that he's. The rest of kids are gone, you go to work that week. Yeah, you got to. You gotta create some money.

[B]

She's. She is not supposed to be left alone yet. So that. That's been a challenge with that. But I have been working in. While they're at.

[A]

You have family in the area?

[B]

They're over an hour away. My mother is a widow. She happened to work to survive herself. And then I have siblings, but basically everybody is just working paycheck to paycheck, and I don't want to be that anymore.

[A]

Well, you are. Right now. You're just trying to eat. So Bubba needs to start writing some checks to you. You need to get some money on the weeks that the kids are gone. And if she needs to go stay with her grandmother that week. So somebody's watching the teenager. That's cool, right?

[B]

She wouldn't be able. She's in school though, and.

[A]

Not right now. She's in Christmas right now.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's in a week and a half Christmas break.

[A]

Yeah. So, I mean, you've got to create some income. $204. I don't know. What are you eating on?

[B]

We. We did qualify for food stamps, and so that food stamps is taken care of, the food. Some friends from church stepped up and helped out with some stuff that has helped cover gas because I'm driving the kids back and forth to their school and.

[C]

What's he saying? Your husband, your ex. Soon to be ex.

[B]

He's blaming me for everything.

[A]

Yeah. So listen, I want you to hang up and I want you to call your attorney and say if I don't start getting some checks immediately out of this guy to feed these seven children, we're over here on freaking food stamps and he has seven children. He's paying nothing. You're not doing your job.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Right now.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Do your job.

[C]

I'm sorry. And hey, hold on the line. Christian's gonna pick up. We have Aldi gift cards, Elizabeth. They're one of our sponsors. And so we'll hook you up with some of those.

[A]

Yeah, we'll get you some groceries going, kiddo.

[C]

Oh, so sorry.

[A]

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