"She's Falling Prey To The Shopping Channel & Facebook Scams"

Summary

Episode Overview

Title: She's Falling Prey To The Shopping Channel & Facebook Scams
Date: December 22, 2025
Host: Dave Ramsey (with Dr. John Delony)
Caller: Gary

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, Dave Ramsey and Dr. John Delony take a call from Gary, whose 85-year-old mother-in-law has accumulated substantial debt due to compulsive shopping on TV networks and falling victim to digital scams, including those on Facebook. The discussion centers on the financial, legal, and emotional challenges of protecting vulnerable seniors from predatory practices and technological pitfalls.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Caller’s Dilemma: Out-of-Control Spending (00:10 - 01:17)

• Gary shares his mother-in-law’s situation:
  • 85-year-old widow, fixed Social Security income, $38,000 in credit card debt from shopping networks (QVC, JTV, HSN), ongoing ATM withdrawals, and attempts to refinance her home to cover debts.
  • She entered a debt consolidation program without family consent.
• Gary’s main question: How to address both the accumulated debt and the ongoing unauthorized spending draining her account daily.

Gary (00:10): "She's racked up $38,000 in debt on credit cards through QVC, JTV... She’s gone into a debt consolidation company without our knowledge... money coming out of her ATM now daily that's drawing her into the negative."

2. Financial Control: Tough Love with Compassion (01:17 - 03:35)

• Dave recommends a decisive strategy:
  • Shut down all existing bank accounts.
  • Open a new account under Gary’s control (utilizing his financial power of attorney) to restrict all spending.
  • Provide her only with essential funds/items.
• Dr. John Delony clarifies that, since she hasn't been declared incompetent, this must be done voluntarily.

Dave Ramsey (01:40): "I want her to shut down all of her checking accounts and she has no spending available to her except what you give her and you operate her account as if she's incompetent voluntarily."

Dave Ramsey (02:15): "I will make sure you have food and your house, and I will get these bills paid off for you. But we're going to stop all spending, and I'm going to control the account and make sure you have stuff until you can get the other side of this."

3. The Emotional Root: Loneliness & Vulnerability (03:35 - 04:54)

• Dave repeatedly stresses the emotional dynamics:
  • The true problem is not just financial, but loneliness. Elderly individuals form bonds with shopping channel hosts or are exploited by scammers offering attention.
  • This cycle continues unless the ability to spend is completely curtailed.

Dave Ramsey (04:15): "Larry Burkett used to say, financial problems are not the problem, they're the symptom. If these problems are the symptom, then what's the real problem? I think it's loneliness."

• Gary adds that her confusion with Facebook links further compounds the issue; she often doesn’t realize what she’s agreeing to.

4. Family Dynamics & Legal Considerations (05:09 - 06:59)

• Dave, John, and Gary discuss:
  • Keeping the entire family (his wife and siblings-in-law) informed to avoid future accusations of mishandling or theft.
  • Maintaining careful records ("a real clear ledger") and monthly reporting to preempt familial disputes post-mortem.
  • Third-party intervention: Sometimes, a non-blood relative can get through; other times, only her children can.

Dave Ramsey (05:38): "Just keep a real clear ledger so you know exactly where every bit of it went. So you can handle an audit. And you send them the audit and go, good luck. Figure it out. You weren't there, you weren't helping."

5. The Broader Problem: Elder Financial Abuse and Technological Exploitation (07:12 - 09:32)

• Dave shares his own frustrations about the limits of family influence, pointing out that even well-intentioned advice can fall on deaf ears.
• John highlights a systemic issue: headlines talk about elderly wealth, but many elders are actually losing money to scams.
• Dave notes two accelerating trends:
  • "Buy now, pay later" schemes—multiple easy payments even for small purchases.
  • The increased speed and scale of technological scams.

John (08:03): “...the more I'm on this show, I'm hearing more and more of what I would call the other untold story of aging populations that are increasingly falling for Internet scams.”

Dave Ramsey (09:01): “I’ve been hearing the shopping channel thing with aging for 30 years, forever and going on forever. ...What I will tell you has increased is two things. Buy now, pay later. ...And then the other thing is just technology has, you know, increased the size the scale the speed at which people get screwed.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey (02:39): “You preyed on old people and took advantage of them and sold them stuff they couldn’t afford. So you’re going to get what you deserve, which is nothing, honey.”
• John (08:38): “The Nigerian prince has a bitcoin.”
• Dave Ramsey (09:01): “...Buy now, pay later. The four easy payments for a freaking T-shirt. A $9 T-shirt, you get four payments on it. Okay. It’s a problem here, people.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:10: Gary outlines the problem: mother-in-law’s escalating debt and scam vulnerability
• 01:40: Dave’s advice: Take total financial control, operate accounts “as if she’s incompetent”
• 04:15: Discussion of loneliness as the root cause
• 05:38: Dave cautions about family transparency and keeping records
• 07:12: Dave’s story about the limits of giving advice, even as an expert
• 08:03: John raises broader concerns about elderly financial scams
• 09:01: Dave discusses the rise of “buy now, pay later” and the speed of scams

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Conclusion

This episode tackles the intersection of personal finance, elder care, and the psychological vulnerabilities that lead to financial exploitation. The hosts urge decisive, compassionate intervention, thorough documentation, and clear communication with family. Listeners are reminded that financial symptoms can often mask deeper emotional problems—and that today's technology amplifies both opportunities and dangers for seniors.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

In today's digital world, you need ID theft protection that actually works. Protect [e-mail] I'm calling on behalf of.

[Gary]

My mother in law. She's 85 years old, she's on a fixed income through Social Security and she's a widow. We just recently learned that she's racked up $38,000 in debt on credit cards through QVC, JTV, things like that. She's gone into a debt consolidation company without our knowledge. And then she's still spending using her ATM card through qvc, jtv, hsn, and every purchase is the five easy payments. So she's got money coming out of her ATM now daily that's drawing her into the negative. And on top of that she was just start. We found out she was trying to refinance her home. That would take her mortgage up to about 55% of her income. So we're looking for suggestions. One, with the debt that's in collections and two, how to stop the ongoing money that's coming out of her account literally on a daily basis.

[Dave Ramsey]

Doesn't matter. She goes back and does it again next week.

[Gary]

We think we finally got her to the point where she realizes that she's got a problem and she can't do it.

[John]

Will she sign it over to you? Because right now you don't have a legal claim to tell her to stop.

[Gary]

So she does have a living trust and I am her financial power of attorney there. But she has not been declared incompetent or anything like that. We don't know whether or not I.

[Dave Ramsey]

Want her to shut down all of her checking accounts and she has no spending available to her except what you give her and you operate her account as if she's incompetent voluntarily.

[Gary]

One of the things, that's one of the things that my wife and I were discussing was whether we should shut down that account.

[Dave Ramsey]

And for her own good, not because you need her money, but I mean, she ain't got any to start with. But the, the, but the bottom line is, is I don't believe her. This is a lonely lady that is getting someone on the phone who's talking to her on the shopping channel. And she's figured out a way to have a conversation when she's sitting there by herself. And she's going to do it again and again and again and again and again until you take, until you take all manner of payment out of her control.

[John]

And the only way to do that right now, since she's not deemed incompetent, is Voluntarily. She has to give that to you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, she's going to. Look, I've heard this story a bunch of times in 35 years, okay? And it's a classic. And so the. I'm not just jumping to conclusions here about this unique situation. I'm telling you what I would do if it was my mother in law. I would say, I really can't help you unless I help you. And here's how I can best help you. I will make sure you have food and your house, and I will get these bills paid off for you. But we're going to stop all spending, and I'm going to control the account and make sure you have stuff until you can get the other side of this. And then we'll look at whether we want you to do it or not. But we're going to take the Social Security check, put it in a different bank, and we're going to open up an account, and I'm going to be in control of that account. We're going to close the other account. Okay? And then you can jump on the phone with the miscellaneous payment people and just go, Good luck. She's 85. She's on Social Security. She's got nothing. As a matter of fact, if I can scrape together a few dollars of hers, I'll settle it with you. I've got full power of attorney. I'll send that to you. And so what you did was prey on old people and took advantage of them and sold them stuff they couldn't afford. So you're going to get what you deserve, which is nothing, honey. So I'm going to totally mess with them, bloody their nose, I'll pay them something, but they can be cleared up. You're just going to have to bully them for what they. And that's what they deserve. Yeah, but you can't do it if she's doing 10 more tomorrow.

[John]

Right?

[Gary]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And she will do.

[Gary]

Don't you think that's our number one concern?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Yeah. Larry Burkett used to say, financial problems are not the problem, they're the symptom. If these problems are the symptom, then what's the real problem? I think it's loneliness.

[Gary]

Part of it, but some of it. She's clicking through things on Facebook and they're signing her up for things that she's not even realizing that she's signing up for.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay. She's being preyed upon as an elder that doesn't understand the technology. And. And she's lonely.

[Gary]

100%.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And so you know I've got to build a system that brings that into consideration to help her. And that's what I'm outlining.

[John]

Will she turn it over to you.

[Dave Ramsey]

You think she'll do?

[Gary]

Depends on the day.

[John]

Yeah.

[Gary]

At times she seems like she's wanting help and then at others she gets stubborn and is like, I know what I'm doing, just leave me alone.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's your wife's mom.

[Gary]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Your wife got siblings?

[Gary]

Two of them.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. She means to make sure they're in the loop.

[Gary]

They, they are, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

We, but I mean they're in the loop with you taking this over because then they're going be calling me and go, my brother in law stole all my mother's money.

[John]

That's right.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[John]

And then you're setting up another war when she passes away. Because then it will be like, where's the money? What'd you do? And we didn't know you were doing this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just keep a real clear ledger so you know exactly where every bit of it went. So you can handle an audit. And you send them the audit and go, good luck. Figure it out. You weren't there, you weren't helping. But that's coming up too. But I'd send them a report once a month, let them see exactly what's going on once you take it over so that they don't come back at you later. They don't have any legal basis. But I'm just talking about relationally.

[John]

Yeah, it.

[Gary]

Understood.

[John]

And I, I, I have a personal rule of thumb. I'm not, it's not ironclad, but it's just a. Just seems to work better. Can. Does your mother in law listen to you more than her own daughter, or is this a conversation that your wife and her siblings can have?

[Gary]

We've tried that. So hers, the siblings are out of state. My wife and I have been over there a couple times over the last couple weeks and we have the conversations together. My wife is right here with me now as we're discussing this.

[John]

Okay. Sometimes a third party is helps and sometimes third party being you. And sometimes it makes it more convoluted. And so y', all, y' all know your family dynamics better than anybody, but that's always where I want somebody to start. And for some reason, sometimes people can't hear from their adult kids, but they can hear from somebody else. And so if you're that somebody else, that's great.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I had a family member of my wife Sharon's that asked me a detailed question about an estate thing And I said, oh, that's easy. You do need to do this, this, this, and this. And if you don't do it, you're going to create these problems. And you need to do it this week. Do this, this and this. You got it? Yeah. Okay. You know what they did? Nothing.

[John]

Not that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Nothing. It was freaking Dave Ramsey that said it. Okay. I mean, this isn't like the other brother in law. This is me, you know, so, you know, God almighty, nothing. So yeah, John's right. Sometimes it's the blood that's got. The blood can that's got to make the message go through. It doesn't matter who it is. So you sound very credible. Gary, I like what you're saying, and I think you're going to have to. A partial. Is going to create a partial door open to Facebook scams, to shopping channel scams, and she's going to sign up for all of them and she's going to end up. And refinancing the house, obviously is ridiculous. No, don't do that. I would rather just put all these other bills in collections. Just let them go to collections and ruin her credit. That'd be awesome. Yeah. So she can't get anymore, Dave.

[John]

So I hear this only because I'm on this show, but if I read the headlines, all the headlines say is there's this bajillions of trillions of dollars of wealth in aging populations. But I have to believe that's concentrated because the more I'm on this show, I'm hearing more and more of what I would call the other untold story of aging populations that are increasingly falling for Internet scams. Letting princes over in somewhere in Africa borrow money.

[Dave Ramsey]

The Nigerian prince has a bitcoin.

[John]

Yeah, all kind like. But it's, it's becoming like really significant. And I don't know if there's a broader conversation that needs to happen, but people need to sit down with their aging parents.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[John]

Especially the ones that are not. The ones that have millions of dollars at the disposal. As much as these folks who are on Social Security, they got nothing and they're mortgaging their souls for this stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

I've been hearing the shopping channel thing with aging for 30 years, for forever and going on forever. Okay, What I will tell you has increased is two things. Buy now, pay later. The four, four easy payments for a freaking T shirt. A $9T shirt, you get four payments on it. Okay. It's a problem here, people. And then the other thing is just technology has, you know, increased the size the scale the speed at which people get screwed.

[John]

Yeah, and it gives you a picture of it, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exactly. You know, Facebook gives you access to some good things, but also some that aren't. The best ID theft protection comes from Xander. Real monitoring, full restoration, no fluff. Learn [e-mail].