Should I Keep My Horrible Son Out Of The Will?

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights: "Should I Keep My Horrible Son Out Of The Will?"

Release Date: August 2, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Duration: Under 10 minutes

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights, the Ramsey Network tackles a sensitive and emotionally charged topic: whether to exclude a problematic child from one's will. The discussion centers around a caller who grapples with disinheritance decisions due to strained family relationships. Expert advice is provided to navigate the complexities of estate planning amidst personal turmoil.

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Caller’s Dilemma

Caller’s Story:
At [00:06], a distressed caller reaches out to the show, detailing a challenging family situation. He describes his son as a "narcissist" and portrays him as a "horrible father, horrible son, horrible husband" ([00:13]). The caller explains that he has a trust in place, which includes his son alongside his other two children and two grandchildren. Notably, his daughter-in-law is excluded from the trust based on advice from financial and legal advisors to protect against potential divorce complications ([00:18]).

The caller expresses his frustration over his son’s inability to maintain employment and his concerns about the toxic environment affecting his young grandchildren. He mentions previously providing financial support to his son, which his other children declined, believing their successful statuses render such support unnecessary ([01:30]). Now, faced with a brokerage account bearing his son's name, valued at $200,000, he is considering removing his son to instead benefit his ex-wife, who he believes is better equipped to care for the children post-divorce ([04:00]).

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Expert Advice and Insights

Dave Ramsey’s Perspective:
Dave Ramsey emphasizes the importance of prudent estate planning, questioning whether the caller has consulted his estate planning attorney about his concerns ([05:20]). He introduces SmartVestor Pro as a resource for investment advice and suggests that professionals can offer strategies to prevent the son from accessing the brokerage funds ([07:11]). Ramsey also highlights the potential tax implications of liquidating the brokerage account, advising the caller to consult with a tax professional ([07:00]).

Rachel Cruze’s Guidance:
Rachel Cruze focuses on the emotional aspects affecting financial decisions. She cautions the caller against making rash choices driven by anger, explaining that emotions can cloud judgment and lead to impulsive actions ([08:09]). Cruze advises seeking professional assistance to ensure that financial decisions are made logically rather than reactively ([08:21]). She also points out the legal complexities of gifting assets directly to the ex-wife, noting the risks of assets being reclaimed during divorce settlements ([06:32]).

Cruse further encourages the caller to consider the long-term implications of his decisions on his family's financial stability, especially concerning his grandchildren's future ([06:54]). She underscores the importance of structured gifting and utilizing trusts appropriately to protect intended beneficiaries ([07:35]).

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Key Takeaways

1. Emotional Decision-Making:

   • Making estate planning decisions based on anger or frustration can lead to unfavorable outcomes. It's crucial to approach such decisions with a clear mind and professional guidance.

2. Professional Consultation:

   • Engaging with estate planning attorneys, tax professionals, and financial advisors is essential to navigate the complexities of disinheritance and asset reallocation effectively.

3. Structured Gifting:

   • Instead of direct transfers, consider structured gifting through trusts or designated funds to ensure assets are distributed according to your wishes without unintended legal complications.

4. Protecting Beneficiaries:

   • Proper estate planning can safeguard beneficiaries from potential disputes or mismanagement, ensuring that assets are utilized as intended to support family members.

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Conclusion

This episode sheds light on the intricate balance between familial relationships and financial responsibilities. The Ramsey Network underscores the importance of thoughtful estate planning and the role of professional advice in making informed decisions. By addressing both the emotional and practical facets of disinheritance, the show provides valuable insights for listeners facing similar dilemmas.

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Notable Quotes

• Caller:
  "I want to take him off of it because he does not deserve it. He doesn't know about it." [00:59]

• Dave Ramsey:
  "No one likes to think about dying. But one day your family will have to deal with everything you leave behind. So the question is, will it be easy or a total nightmare?" [01:43]

• Rachel Cruze:
  "When we are angry, our brains literally shut off the critical thinking parts and we are simply responding animals." [08:09]

• Dave Ramsey:
  "He's going to want to file some sort of alimony, some sort of something, and he'll get his hands on it in some way." [07:57]

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Resources Mentioned

• Knockbox Kit:
  A comprehensive kit to help organize end-of-life plans, ensuring families can navigate their assets without confusion. Available at knockbox.com Ramsey.

• SmartVestor Pro:
  A service recommended by Dave Ramsey for investment advice related to brokerage accounts and estate planning.

• Ramsey Solutions Tax Services:
  For personalized tax strategies to optimize estate planning and asset distribution. Visit ramseysolutions.com tax.

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Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Caller]

Okay, I'll cut to the chase. I'll have to tell you a brief story just so that you understand.

[Dave Ramsey]

I like a story.

[Caller]

Yeah, a good story too. I have a son who is a narcissist. Like a horrible father, horrible son, horrible husband, everything. Just think of the worst. So I have a trust and my son's in the trust with my other two children and my two grandchildren. My daughter in law is not in the trust. Her, the financial advisor attorney said, you know, don't put her in case of divorce or whatever. Okay, so she's not in it. So I always felt like she was a step shot. I have decided to pretty much disown my son because of being like this horrible narcissist. So I have a brokerage account that my other two children knew all about and they said, don't give it to us, we don't need the money. They're very successful. You know, they both make over $100,000 each, you know, just, you know, so they're like half a million dollars a year. And I said, well, won't you feel bad? And they said, no, just leave it to Scott. He can't hold down a job. All right, so his name was on the brokerage account. What I want to do, and here's my, my question to you is I want to take him off of it because he does not deserve it. He doesn't know about it. So that's good. And what I want to do is put her on it because they are now getting divorced because I forced her to. I said, I'll file a complaint against you.

[Dave Ramsey]

You forced your son's wife to divorce your son?

[Caller]

Yes. Well, he's a narcissist and he's causing the children to grow up to be ones. You know, I'm saying you put children like that, they're six and seven in a toxic, horrible environment.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know that a six year old can be a narcissist.

[Rachel Cruze]

I would take off the clinical diagnostics.

[Caller]

They're in an environment like that for so long. And I Talked to the 7 year old and he goes, they just, he just fights with my mommy and fights with my mommy and he's just so mean. I gave him 30,000 doll one year because he kept losing his job and then again another 15. But I said, now that is to, you know, help the kids and put her in dance school and him karate classes there because I think that's important for you. Know children. She didn't see any of that money. I just found this out when I went to Texas. He kept all the money. He didn't give it to anyone.

[Rachel Cruze]

So how come. How can we help you, love?

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey. Sorry for the interruption. This is important. No one likes to think about dying. But one day your family will have to deal with everything you leave behind. So the question is, will it be easy or a total nightmare? That's where Knockbox comes in. Knockbox is a kit with 15 categories and clear instructions that give your family an organized plan so they're not sifting through old paperwork and guessing passwords and dealing with lawyers. So leave your family memories instead of a mess. Grab your Knockbox kit [e-mail] Ramsey for the best discount available. That's knockbox.com Ramsey.

[Rachel Cruze]

So how come. How can we help you, love?

[Caller]

That's a horrible. So that's my question. Okay? I want to take her and put her on the brokerage account.

[Dave Ramsey]

The ex wife.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

If you do this.

[Caller]

Okay, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

To take care of the kids.

[Caller]

Here's my situation. Here's the situation. She will take care of those children. She's a wonderful mother.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know. Listen to me. Listen to me, okay?

[Caller]

Narcissist. And he won't pay child.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.

[Caller]

Okay, okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

You not wanting to give him money because he's not. Let's don't call him a narcissist ever again. That's using clinical diagnostics. He. Let's just call him a bad person.

[Caller]

Okay, okay. Or a guy that diagnosed. But that's okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, That's. That's fine. Okay. If he was diagnosed. And I'll let you use it. You know, that everyone on the Internet uses. Okay. If that's his diagnostic, you can say that. But let's just. Let's just call a spade a spade. He is not providing for his kids. He's not taking care of his wife. He's not a person of character. Okay?

[Caller]

No.

[Rachel Cruze]

So you. You are well within your right to spend your money however you want to spend it. Okay?

[Caller]

I know, but I want to do it financially. Correct.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know.

[Caller]

I mean, I want to be a smart person.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. If you give her this money and she turns around and gets. And leaves him, he will get a huge chunk of it during the divorce settlement. Don't do that.

[Caller]

Okay. So I have to wait until they're divorced?

[Rachel Cruze]

No, no, just do this.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Rachel Cruze]

Just say I want to designate money and every year I want to pay for this. With the kids and if in your trust.

[Caller]

But what do I do? What do I do about this brokerage account? I got to leave it to someone.

[Rachel Cruze]

Are you dying?

[Caller]

Well, I'm old.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, well, then put it in your will. You don't have to liquidate it all right now.

[Caller]

Well, I don't have a will. I have a trust.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, then put it in the trust.

[Caller]

I don't want it in trust because I can't change a trust. I promised my husband I wouldn't.

[Dave Ramsey]

Have you talked to your estate planning attorney about all of this?

[Caller]

Yeah, well. Oh, about my brokerage account.

[Rachel Cruze]

How much is in this account? What are we talking about?

[Caller]

Oh, just 200,000. I mean, it's no big deal.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, then when she gets. Would she. When she moves into a house. Just.

[Caller]

She probably won't even get in the house. She'll probably have to go in an apartment. I mean, he's. He's gonna. I'm telling you, he's gonna quit his job. He's gonna say, don't have any money. I know him.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, but if you put money into an account and give it to her, he will get it. You know that.

[Caller]

Even after the divorce.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, you got to talk to. With an attorney about that.

[Caller]

Okay. Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

My guess is he's gonna file some sort of alimony, some sort of something, and he'll get his hands on it in some way. That's why I would love to see.

[Caller]

He's gonna. He's gonna ask for alimony from her.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know he is. That's why I'd love to see this directly go to. Hey, I just bought you a 200, 000 house and I'm gifting it to you. Or I put a hundred grand in a 529 for one kid's college, and I put 5, 100 grand in another one. And you can't do that. Right. That. That way. But you know what I'm saying. I would love to see some direct gifts that are assets.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So far you've just thrown money at problems and hope that they went to the right things.

[Caller]

Okay, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's.

[Rachel Cruze]

Listen.

[Caller]

But then now. Okay, so let's. Let's just say I've got this $200,000 in a brokerage account, and then she gets divorced and she's living in a little crappy apartment, and I want to buy her house. Yeah, and look what.

[Rachel Cruze]

We live in America. You can buy a house for anybody you want to.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

It might have a tax penalty for you. I don't know what all that is taxes.

[Caller]

I have to pay taxes on those.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[Dave Ramsey]

200 grand. You'll have your capital gains tax. And if it was held for longer than a year, it'll be long term, likely 15, depending on your situation. So you'll pay 15 of whatever money you, you know, you liquidate from the brokerage account.

[Rachel Cruze]

But I think you should talk to your. Your get a tax pro and go to ramseysolutions.com tax.

[Caller]

No, you know, I'm, I'm Ramsey girl. Okay, so I have a tax pro through him.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, then talk to your tax pro about what's the best way to get this money into the hands of my grandkids.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

And that woman.

[Caller]

See, I didn't know who I should ask, you know, like, because there will.

[Rachel Cruze]

Be tax implications, but they may be able to gift. Who knows?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. There's a few people you can work with. The tax pro is going to help with tax strategy. You can contact a smartvestor pro to help with the investment side with the brokerage account and what the best ways to use that are. And they can also connect you with the right people if. Hey, this is more of an estate planning thing. Sounds like you have some history there with an estate planning attorney. But you know, whoever set up the trust. But they're going to know the best way to set this up to keep his hands off of it.

[Rachel Cruze]

But here, here, here's what I'm hearing from you. And I want you to be very careful. Okay?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're mad.

[Caller]

Oh, I'm angry.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, you're angry.

[Caller]

But I will now, I will always be angry because he he something to me and I will never for he almost had me die.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay? So, okay, he almost killed. Listen, listen, listen, listen.

[Caller]

No, he didn't almost kill me. He just. Listen. Wouldn't let me get my medicine. I mean, it's no big deal, but.

[Rachel Cruze]

You know, it's a huge. But listen to me. When we are angry, when we go to fight or when we go to flight, our brains literally shut off the critical thinking parts of our brain and we are simply responding animals. We're running from things or we are fighting things, okay? And so if you are angry and you are moving this account out of anger, you're not going to think clearly. And I'm going. That's why you gotta get a professional in your corner so that you can exhale and make a logical move. Get a critical thinking brain next to you, whether it's yours or a tax pros. Or an investing pros or an estate attorney. Somebody who's going to say, okay, I know you're mad, but let's do this in the right way. In the right way. Order.

[Dave Ramsey]

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