Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: Should I Let My Girlfriend Pay Off My Debt?
Date: September 27, 2025
Host: Dave Ramsey with Financial Expert/Co-host
Podcast Network: Ramsey Network
Overview
This episode centers on a caller grappling with a moral and practical dilemma: Should he allow his girlfriend to pay off his $35,000 debt? The conversation quickly shifts from financial details to deeper principles about relationships, personal responsibility, and the unintended consequences of mixing money and romance before marriage. Dave Ramsey and his co-host offer direct advice, warn against the pitfalls of financial entanglement outside of marriage, and provide memorable real-life examples to drive their advice home.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Should You Let a Girlfriend Pay Off Your Debt?
- Caller’s Situation: The caller is considering accepting his girlfriend’s “extremely generous offer” to pay off his debt, aiming to free up money for frequent visits in their long-distance relationship (Canada & Switzerland).
- Immediate Response:
- Dave Ramsey [00:26]: "No."
- Dave emphasizes that paying off a partner’s debt is something reserved for marriage, not dating.
2. Relationship Context Matters
- Both Are Divorced: The caller and his girlfriend have both previously been married.
- Long-Distance Strain: The caller feels that paying off his debt could increase visit frequency, but Ramsey and the co-host challenge that logic.
- Co-host [02:05]: "What she's saying is I'd rather pay $35,000 than $1,600 for to go to Canada. That doesn't make sense mathematically or logically."
3. Personal Responsibility
- Caller’s Plan: He aims to pay off debt by next summer, earning $85,000 gross per year with $35,000 in debt.
- Advice:
- The co-host suggests honesty with the girlfriend: “I think it’s my responsibility to pay off my debt. We’re not married. I don’t want to put you in that situation…your support for me would be if you could come visit me while I’m busy paying off this debt.” [02:25]
- Ramsey underscores the importance of self-reliance before merging finances in a committed marriage.
- Dave Ramsey [03:01]: "You’re going to change the tune of the relationship. You're going to change the whole thing if she pays me off your debt."
4. How Money Changes Relationships
- Classic Problems:
- Financial entanglements often lead to emotional complications and “changed relationships.”
- Example: Lending money to friends or family can harm relationships.
- Dave Ramsey [03:01]: “If you loan your brother-in-law $100 and he never speaks to you again, is it worth the money?”
- Distance Plus Debt Equals Danger:
- Co-host [03:42]: "You already have distance working against you. You definitely don’t need borrowed money working against you."
5. Extreme Cases & Cautionary Tales
- Worst Case Shared by Ramsey [04:15]:
- A man bought a house with his girlfriend; when he died, she ended up co-owning the house with her deceased partner’s mother.
- Dave Ramsey [04:51]: "She’s not his heir. They’re not married."
- Lessons: Do not buy houses or cars or pay debts for someone you’re not married to—“Crap happens and you’re going to get sideways and you have a problem.”
- Car Co-signing Example:
- Co-host [05:12]: Man co-signs girlfriend’s car loan; after breakup, she stops paying.
- Dave Ramsey [05:33]: “Then you better add it to your debt, snowball.”
6. Planning for the Unexpected
- Begin with the End in Mind:
- Referencing Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”
- Dave Ramsey [05:59]: "Begin with everything possibly falling apart…in mind and you’ll go, ‘Oh, I would never do that.’"
- Experience vs. Optimism:
- Dave Ramsey [06:13]: “You know there’s only one way it works. And it never works that way. Nothing ever works the way it’s supposed to. Ever.”
- Avoiding “Nightmare” Outcomes:
- Dave Ramsey [06:33]: “We’re not dream killers, we’re nightmare killers. Because your little dream is going to be a nightmare and we’re going to kill it before we can let it grow. Kill it now. Stomp that thing.”
7. Wisdom for Success
- Learning from Experience:
- Most success comes from lessons learned, not flawless first attempts.
- Co-host [07:16]: “Most success is a result of something that was learned, not a bright idea that was executed the right way the first time.”
- Dave Ramsey [07:25]: “What we think is going to work doesn’t make it through beta…it doesn’t make it through alpha.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Dave Ramsey [00:26]: “No.” (To the caller’s question about accepting girlfriend’s offer to pay his debt)
- Co-host [02:05]: “What she’s saying is, ‘I’d rather pay $35,000 than $1,600 to go to Canada.’ That doesn’t make sense mathematically or logically.”
- Dave Ramsey [03:01]: “You’re going to change the tune of the relationship... if she pays me off your debt.”
- Dave Ramsey [03:18]: “What happens when you loan people money is it changes the relationship.”
- Dave Ramsey [04:15]: “Do not pay debts for people you’re not married to. Do not buy houses and cars for or with people you’re not married to. Crap happens and you’re going to get sideways and you have a problem.”
- Co-host [03:42]: “You already have distance working against you. You definitely don’t need borrowed money working against you."
- Dave Ramsey [05:59]: “Begin with everything possibly falling apart…in mind and you’ll go, ‘Oh, I would never do that.’”
- Dave Ramsey [06:33]: “We’re not dream killers, we’re nightmare killers...your little dream is going to be a nightmare and we’re going to kill it before we can let it grow. Kill it now. Stomp that thing.”
Important Timestamps
- 00:10: Caller introduces his dilemma.
- 00:26: Dave Ramsey gives a swift “No” to the question.
- 01:27: Debt amount revealed ($35,000); breakdown of the caller’s financials.
- 02:05: Logical breakdown of girlfriend’s offer.
- 02:25: Co-host suggests how the caller should address the girlfriend.
- 03:01: Discussion on how money changes relationships.
- 04:15: Ramsey shares an extreme cautionary tale about mixing money and relationships.
- 05:12: Real-life example of co-signing a car loan gone wrong.
- 05:59: Reference to “begin with the end in mind.”
- 06:33: Ramsey’s “nightmare killers” philosophy.
Tone & Closing
The episode blends blunt advice, humor, and candid warnings. Ramsey’s signature directness and the co-host’s practical empathy make the argument clear: financial entanglements are for marriage, not dating. They encourage listeners to consider long-term consequences, avoid messy financial ties outside marriage, and focus on self-responsibility—“because we love you and want you to prosper.”