"Something's Gotta Change, Dude!"

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: “Something’s Gotta Change, Dude!”
Date: December 16, 2025
Host(s): Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze
Main Guest: Bo (Caller, father of four, dealing with overwhelming financial and emotional stress)

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze respond to a heartfelt call from Bo, a father of four struggling with crushing debt, job overload, and holiday stress, all while trying to provide for his family and keep morale up. The discussion centers on the financial and emotional toll of living paycheck to paycheck (or "hour to hour," as Bo says), developing a strategy for survival during the holidays, and—most importantly—the urgent necessity for life-changing decisions. The hosts provide actionable advice, tough love, and unconditional encouragement, urging Bo (and listeners in similar situations) to break out of stagnation, communicate openly with family, and embrace necessary changes—even if they’re hard.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Stress and Guilt Amid Debt

• Bo shares his struggle of balancing the pressure to provide a joyful holiday for his children while being deep in debt:
  “How to handle the overwhelming stress of the holidays while we're climbing out of debt and still trying to be what we need to be for the children.” (00:12)
• Rachel Cruze quickly identifies that the stress is about feeling unable to afford gifts (00:26).
• Bo clarifies that while the family isn’t destitute, there’s never "anything extra"—living "paycheck to paycheck," or even "hour to hour" (00:57, 01:01).

2. Bo’s Financial Situation: The Breakdown

• Four kids, aged 15, 11, 10, and 7.
• Bo’s income: One full-time job (grocery store manager; the store he previously owned) plus three gig jobs, totaling about $120,000/year (01:15–01:23).
• Despite selling his store, he’s left with substantial debt:
  • Business (SBA) debt: $40,000 (02:28)
  • Student loans: about $30,000 between Bo and his wife (02:56)
  • Credit card debt: $30K-$40K used to prop up the business (03:17)
  • Car loan: $13,000 on a 2018 4Runner (03:35), plus assorted unreliable “hooptie” vehicles
  • Total debt: Rachel sums it as $123,000 (04:21)

3. Housing & Family Situation

• The family rents in an expensive city (New York City) but pays relatively low rent ($2,000/month) for a basement apartment (05:19–05:29).
• Legal complications (custody of oldest child) prevent an immediate move to a more affordable location (04:52–05:14).

4. Current Workload and Family Dynamics

• Bo is already maxed out emotionally and physically—working four jobs and still not keeping up (01:12, 05:54).
• His wife homeschools the kids and does not currently earn outside income (05:38).

5. Tough Love and the Need for Change

• Dave and Rachel repeatedly emphasize that Bo’s current path is not sustainable.
  • Dave Ramsey:
    “Something's got to change. Dude, you're going to have to decide what it is.” (05:54)
    “I'm talking to a guy who can't even form a sentence because you're completely exhausted. Something's got to change. You're going to have to change something.” (06:00)
    “You're not stuck, but you are going to have to change something.” (07:38)
• Dave uses the metaphor of a log jam, saying sometimes you need to “throw dynamite in” to break things loose (07:55):
  “Just start yelling at the stuck and say, no, I'm throwing dynamite on your butt.” (08:41)

6. Concrete Steps & Immediate Action

• Dave and Rachel’s bottom-line recommendations:
  • Bo’s wife may need to seek paid work—homeschooling may need to pause (07:43, 09:27)
  • Bo should pursue a new, more lucrative, or more suitable career—staying at the grocery store he once owned is emotionally damaging (09:25, 09:27)
  • Communicate candidly with the kids about the family’s financial reality and focus on creative solutions for Christmas (08:17)
  • Consider selling anything possible to raise money quickly (07:55)
  • Explore whether a move is possible in the near future
  • Don’t continue in the current “stuck” pattern, as consequences (burnout, marriage/family breakdown, addiction) are likely if nothing changes (08:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey [06:00]:
  “You got no emotion left in your gas tank. I'm talking to a guy who can't even form a sentence because you're completely exhausted. Something's got to change.”

• Rachel Cruze [09:27]:
  “You need a new job, and you need to not have four jobs because you've been doing that for too long. I'm going to look at this homeschool situation because your wife needs to be able to work. You need her help earning income in this season.”

• Dave Ramsey [07:38]:
  “You're not stuck, but you are going to have to change something.”

• Dave Ramsey [08:41]:
  “Just start yelling at the stuck and say, no, I'm throwing dynamite on your butt. Now, I don't know exactly what the individual tactical thing to tell you to do is right now, except to encourage you and say, I think you're a whole lot better than you think you are right now.”

• Dave Ramsey [08:17]:
  “Anything is on the line, and I'm gonna look at the kids and go, kids, we're freaking broke. We're freaking broke. We got no money. So we're gonna have to figure out a very creative Christmas this year.”

• Rachel Cruze [09:50]:
  “Something's got to move you. Decide what it is before it decides for you. That's the situation.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Bo describes holiday stress & family needs: 00:12–00:45
• Breakdown of finances, debts, and jobs: 01:11–03:59
• Discussion of living situation and housing constraints: 04:26–05:29
• Challenges with wife homeschooling and not earning income: 05:38–05:44
• Dave’s “something’s got to change” speech: 05:54–09:18
• Rachel and Dave’s closing advice & action steps: 09:18–end

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is direct, intense, and deeply empathetic, reflecting the emotion in Bo’s situation and the urgency required. Dave uses tough love, pressing Bo to break free from paralysis, while Rachel drills into practical next steps with warmth and encouragement. The overall message: Stagnation will only breed disaster—action, even if uncomfortable and difficult, is essential. The hosts call on Bo (and anyone like him) to recognize their own value and capacity for change, commit to new decisions, and relentlessly pursue a better path forward.

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For listeners: If you’re in a similar spot, take heart. You’re not alone, but you must choose to change—before your situation changes for you.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I'm talking to a guy who can't even form a sentence because you're completely exhausted. Something's got to change.

[Bo]

I guess my overall question would be how to handle the overwhelming stress of the holidays while we're climbing out of debt and still trying to be what we need to be for the children.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's the overwhelming stress? Buying gifts.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

How old are the children when there's.

[Bo]

When there's literally nothing.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, we'll get to. Why is there nothing? But how many children?

[Bo]

Four.

[Rachel Cruze]

Four. And what are their ages?

[Bo]

15, 11, 10 and 7.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, tell me why there's nothing.

[Bo]

Just not enough. There's not nothing, but there's not enough at the end. There's not anything extra.

[Rachel Cruze]

There's paycheck to paycheck.

[Bo]

Hour to hour.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Bo]

What are you earning at this point? Or jobs. Right now you have four jobs a year.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

You yourself have four jobs?

[Bo]

Well, one full time job and then three like gigs, Amazon catering, flex.

[Rachel Cruze]

And that equals 120 a year?

[Bo]

About. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's your main job?

[Bo]

Managing a small grocery store. Okay, that was mine that I sold to them last year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did they give you money for it or you just got out?

[Bo]

They gave me a good chunk of help toward the debt. How much left over on paper? Yeah, 200,000. But I owed about 240.

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[Bo]

But I owed about 240.

[Rachel Cruze]

So there's 40,000 left of business debt?

[Bo]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

There's any other debt?

[Bo]

SBA loan. There's personal debt, there's school loan debt. There's. It's a mess.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you. What do you make at the.

[Bo]

What's that?

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you make at the grocery store?

[Bo]

That's 100.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, okay, tell me. So there's the 40,000 SBA loan. Tell me. The student loans.

[Bo]

All different ones, but between my wife and I, close to 30.

[Rachel Cruze]

Tell me about the personal loans.

[Bo]

Not loans, credit cards that we took out in our Own names.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Bo]

To help the business in the last year, you know.

[Rachel Cruze]

How much is that?

[Bo]

If I had to guess, it'd be 30 to 40. I'm so sorry. I called on a whim. I'm listening to them.

[Rachel Cruze]

I got you. I got you.

[Bo]

But 30 to 40. I mean, we haven't.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much.

[Bo]

You haven't. How much do you own your cars speaking anymore? I will say that.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much do you owe on your car?

[Bo]

I know you're gonna hate that, but we have one car that we owe about 13,000 on. It's a 2018 4Runner. And then I take your advice, and I went and I bought a hooptie, and it blew up, so I had to buy another hooptie, and it broke down. So now I'm on my third hooptie, which is a 200, 000 miles, 2002009 Silverado.

[Rachel Cruze]

That you paid cash for.

[Bo]

Yeah, and it spends more time at the mechanic than it does in the driveway, so I think I spend less on the 4Runner over the past two years.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I chalked that up to. I chalk that up to your. You might not be know how to select a great older car. Yeah, that's what I chalked it up to.

[Bo]

One of those Astro vans that. That your wife drove.

[Rachel Cruze]

So $123,000 of debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Bo]

I'm 43. Just turned 43.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so here's the thing, okay. You live in one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in, okay. And you can't afford to live there, can you? I think. I think you need a change of scenery.

[Bo]

I know. Well, there's a problem that legally can't yet.

[Rachel Cruze]

Is this custody? What is this?

[Dave Ramsey]

That was vague.

[Bo]

What do you mean? Yeah, My oldest son is not my own son, and he's, you know, we're tied here to the father, so.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, then let's talk. Let's still talk living situation because, oh, we have it.

[Bo]

We live in a beautiful, beautiful area that we don't deserve to live in. We pay less in rent than you would think you'd pay for a basement apartment.

[Rachel Cruze]

What do you pay?

[Bo]

You have a $2,000 a month.

[Dave Ramsey]

Does your wife work outside the home?

[Bo]

No, she homeschools our four kids.

[Rachel Cruze]

We might need to change that.

[Bo]

I know, I know. It's kind of hard to bring that up.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. But let's. Let's. Let's play it out. But let's. Let's stop for a minute.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, Bo, listen.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Something's got to change. Dude, you're going to have to decide what it is.

[Bo]

Not even any more hours in the day.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, you can't work anymore. You got no emotion left in your gas tank. I'm talking to a guy who can't even form a sentence because you're completely exhausted. Something's got to change. You're going to have to change something. You're carrying all of this. You're the plate spinning. Est dude I've talked to and I don't know when, and these plates are crashing all around you and you're scared to death. And every time we bring up, you got to try something, you got to try something. You got to try something. You go, can't do that, can't do that, can't do that. Something's got to change. You got to change something. You're going to rise up and bust something and change something. I don't know what it is, man, but I love you and I want you to win. And I'm talking to a guy who's scared. I think you gotta move. I think you gotta do something different. Your wife's gonna work, somebody's gonna work. Something's gonna change. Your job changes. You get away from that grocery store that failed because every time you walk in there, you feel like a failure. I don't know what's going on, but your emotions, man, are all in your words. And it's, you're, if you could, you need to play this back and listen to it on the podcast because you're, you're, you're, you're defeated. Is everything that comes up. I'm already defeated. I've already lost. I've already lost. I've already lost. And you have not lost. You're a hard working guy. You manage to keep a family together in freaking New York City. My God. I mean, you're amazing. There's a lot of stuff you can do. Just because your stupid grocery store didn't work doesn't mean your life is over. Your life's not over. There is a lot of stuff my friend Bo can do that makes more money and, and better decisions. You are not stuck, but you are going to have to change something. There's an old thing when the lumberjacks in the mountains of the Appalachians used to put the trees in the river to run them down the river to deliver them to the sawmill. They would get stuck in the bend. When they go around the corner, there'd be a log jam. That's where that saying comes from. You know how they fixed it? They'd Light dynamite and throw it in the middle of it. That's how you bust up a log jam. You bust up some stuff. Now, I don't know exactly what it is in your life, but I'm gonna start selling everything in sight. Anything is on the line, and I'm gonna look at the kids and go, kids, we're freaking broke. We're freaking broke. We got no money. So we're gonna have to figure out a very creative Christmas this year. And I'm gonna get on the phone with the old ex husband, wife, whatever. The flip is going on and going, hey, you know, we. We cannot stay here anymore because of Junior, okay? So something's gonna have to change. And something's gonna change because you cannot. The guy I'm talking to is not in a sustainable situation one year from today. You cannot be saying the same exact sentences you're saying to me right now. You cannot exist that way. It won't work. Something's gonna blow. You're gonna blow a gasket. Something's gonna blow up in your marriage. You're gonna. We're gonna find you in addiction. Something's gonna blow up because you're just the stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck. And just start yelling at the stuck and say, no, I'm throwing dynamite on your butt. Now, I don't know exactly what the individual tactical thing to tell you to do is right now, except to encourage you and say, I think you're a whole lot better than you think you are right now.

[Rachel Cruze]

I'll give you some homework if I were you. Let's. Let's send you find the work you're wired to do, because I think you need to get on a different career path.

[Dave Ramsey]

Got to get out of the grocery store for sure.

[Rachel Cruze]

What you did before is that's just hanging over your head. And the longer that you work in that, it's just driving you into depression. You need a new job, and you need to not have four jobs because you've been doing that for too long. I'm going to look at this homeschool situation because your wife needs to be able to work. You need her help earning income in this season. I'm not saying it's going to last forever, but those are the two things that need to shake loose immediately.

[Dave Ramsey]

Something's got to move you. Decide what it is before it decides for you. That's the situation. Bust up into it, Bo. You're better than you feel like you are. Hang on. We're going to send you finding the work you're wired to do because you need some new work. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.