"Stop This Shacking Up Crap!"

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Stop This Shacking Up Crap!"

The Ramsey Show Highlights | October 28, 2025
Host: Dave Ramsey
Co-host: Rachel Cruze

---

Episode Overview

This episode tackles a common and contentious financial relationship issue: unmarried couples buying property together. Using a listener's dilemma as their jumping-off point, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze strongly advise against "playing house" by entering significant financial commitments like homeownership with a romantic partner outside of marriage. The hosts break down legal, financial, and relational pitfalls, illustrating their points with practical examples and memorable banter.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Listener Question – Real Estate and Relationship Mixing

• [00:10] Molly from Minnesota shares her issue: she bought a house with her partner, contributed the full down payment, and now wonders if she should ask her partner to take out a HELOC to repay her.

2. Major Red Flags Identified

• Co-ownership Without Marriage:

  • Dave immediately notes the risks: "You entered into a business arrangement with a person you're sleeping with with absolutely no written partnership documents. And this is going to go sideways, and you have no out when it goes sideways." (Dave Ramsey, 01:41)

• Financial Entanglement:

  • Rachel discourages using a HELOC as a solution: "Don't take off a HELOC...you're trying to punish him. Don't do that...it actually puts your house at risk. Don't do that. That's silly." (Rachel Cruze, 00:54)
  • She notes the situation exposes "major fractures in your relationship" and stresses the importance of discussing these issues before buying property together.

3. Dave’s Two Solutions

• [01:37] Dave lays out only two options for Molly:
  • "Get married by Saturday and stop this shacking up crap because you're doing things backwards, or sell the house. Those are the only two ways you will survive this."
• He highlights the dangers of not having legal protection if things go badly, sharing a past caller’s experience: "She called me up and said, yeah, now I own the house with his mom...cause you people aren’t real good about doing paperwork on stuff."

4. The Legal Quagmire and Real Consequences

• Lack of Legal Recourse: Dave warns that, unlike marriage (where divorce provides an exit), there’s no mechanism to disentangle jointly-held assets if unmarried co-owners split or if one dies:

  • "You are stuck in a house with that guy. You find out he's doing cocaine...you're just stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, with no legal or business recourse to get your little butt out of this mess." (Dave Ramsey, 03:20)

• Inheritance Issues:

  • In the absence of a will, inheritance passes to blood relatives, not romantic partners: "So guess who his heir is. It's not his girlfriend that he sleeps with, I can tell you that. That'd be his mom and dad." (Dave Ramsey, 02:59)

5. Firm Ramsey Principle: Don’t Buy With a Partner

• Dave delivers his core rule unequivocally:
  • "People, never...I didn’t have a caveat. There was no except. It’s a complete never. Capital N-E-V-E-R. Buy a house with someone you’re not married to under any circumstances, period." (Dave Ramsey, 03:03)

6. Comic Relief and Realism

• The hosts imagine a worst-case breakup scenario, humorously mapping out "spray can lines down the middle...this is my half, this is your half" and battles over pets and dishes. (Rachel & Dave, 05:22–05:43)

7. US Law Not Set Up for Unmarried Co-owners

• Dave explains property and inheritance laws in the US are based on English law, which isn’t favorable to unmarried couples: "The whole system in the United States is not set up for you. Sorry, darling." (Dave Ramsey, 05:43)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave pulls no punches:
  • "Get married by Saturday and stop this shacking up crap because you're doing things backwards, or sell the house." (01:37)
  • "Never...buy a house with someone you're not married to under any circumstances, period." (03:03)
• Rachel on relationship breakdowns:
  • "Y'all got big issues. I don't even know where to start with this, Dave, other than just to say, don't do that." (00:54)
• Comic moment on dividing property:
  • "Spray can lines down the middle way. This is my half. This is your half...No water on my side of the sink." (05:35–05:40, Rachel & Dave)

---

Major Timestamps

• 00:10 – Listener’s question introduced
• 00:42–01:35 – Dave and Rachel highlight red flags; urge not to use HELOC
• 01:37–03:40 – Dave's "two options," legal pitfalls, and inheritance issues
• 03:43–04:59 – Strong advice against buying property with an unmarried partner
• 05:08–05:43 – Comic hypothetical: splitting the house, eviction, and legal mess
• 05:43 – Discussion on US law and why it doesn’t protect unmarried co-owners

---

Takeaway

Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze issue a hardline, no-nonsense warning:
Do not buy property with anyone you aren't married to. Legal, relational, and financial horror stories await those who ignore this advice—regardless of intentions or arrangements. If you’re in this situation already? Either marry (for legal protection) or sell the house and move on.

In Dave’s words:
"Everything that can go wrong in this life will go wrong at some time or another. And you are stuck in a house with that guy...[with] no legal or business recourse to get your little butt out of this mess." (03:03)

Practical, passionate, and pointed—this episode encapsulates classic Ramsey advice on life, love, and money.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey Today's question comes.

[Rachel Cruze]

From Molly in Minnesota. Molly writes, my partner and I bought a house together, but I'm the one who made the down payment. We can already tell you we got a problem. He shares the monthly payment expense, but hasn't said anything about paying me back for half the money I put down. Okay. Should I ask him to take out a heal. Just Molly. No. Y' all break up. Just break up and sell the house and move on. Should I ask him to take out a HELOC and pay it off to pay me back for his house? Half of the down payment?

[Dave Ramsey]

You know what's interesting is, is this is the actual first time I've seen the proper use of the word partner.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, like. Like my.

[Dave Ramsey]

This is like a business partner. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And he owes me money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, by the way, I sleep with.

[Rachel Cruze]

It on the building I bought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're. Well, y', all, I've got number one. Don't take off a heloc. This is. You're like. You're trying to punish him. Don't do that. Because y' all bought a house together, and so you telling him to take out a HELOC that he has to pay back actually puts your house at risk. Don't do that. That's silly. The bigger issue here is y' all have some major fractures in your relationship, and you'll need to address those on the front end. You should have addressed them before you entered into a legal, binding contract called the purchase of a house Together. But y' all are already here. Yeah. Y' all got big issues. I don't even know where to start with this, Dave, other than just to say, don't do that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Can I pull the pin and throw the grenade?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, good. Here we go. You have two choices to fix this, Molly. Get married by Saturday and stop this shacking up crap because you're doing things backwards, or sell the house. Those are the only two ways you will survive this. Both ways. You have a potential to survive it, but you're not going to survive it the way you are not going to work because you entered into a business arrangement with a person you're sleeping with with absolutely no written partnership documents. And this is going to go sideways, and you have no out when it goes sideways. He could just leave and you never see him again. And you can't even find him to get the house sold because you can't get him to sign the deed. He could be in a car wreck. That happened to one caller, and she called me up and said, yeah, now I own the house with his mom. Because, by the way, he doesn't have a will either. Cause you people aren't real good about doing paperwork on stuff. I can tell. And so he didn't have a will. So guess who his heir is. It's not his girlfriend that he sleeps with, I can tell you that. That'd be his mom and dad. That'd be who gets the stuff if there's no will. The blood heirs. And so now you are partners in a house with the mother of a guy who didn't repay his portion of the down payment. Oh, this is not going to go well, Molly. People never let me help you with this. The word was never. I didn't have a caveat. There was no except. It's a complete never. Capital N E V, E, R. Buy a house with someone you're not married to under any circumstances, period. Everything that can go wrong in this life will go wrong at some time or another. And you are stuck in a house with that guy. You find out he's doing cocaine. You find out he's got a secretary that he's more in love with than you. You find out, and you're just stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck. With no legal or business recourse to get your little butt out of this mess. And you're just beginning to discover how uncomfortable that is when there's one little tiny thing about the down payment didn't come up. Like, you guys shouldn't have talked about that on the front end.

[Rachel Cruze]

I think they did. And he's just not, quote, unquote, paying her back.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, but what happens when he doesn't do what he says he's going to do? Then he.

[Rachel Cruze]

Then he needs to go take out a heloc.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, off. And put us as lean on my house. No, it's just dumber and crud. Yeah. So I'm deadly serious. There's only two ways to fix this.

[Rachel Cruze]

I'm going to. I'm going to caveat. I don't think they should get married. I think there's too many issues here.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know, but I'm just saying to protect her.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, I see what you're saying.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, but now, because. So. So at least when there's a divorce, right? She has a. There's a. There's a mechanism, there's a problem for getting rid of this stupid house. But right now, there's no legal mechanism for getting rid of this stupid house except getting rid of this stupid house. So, and here's another prediction. She ain't gonna do any of it.

[Rachel Cruze]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

So we're just telling you all these stories so that the rest of y' all don't do what Molly did. That's the only reason we brought it up, because Molly ain't gonna do anything except what Molly wants. I can tell.

[Rachel Cruze]

I wonder. Can I ask you this? This is just fun. I. I wonder if in the state of Minnesota, I wonder if he would have, like, eviction rights. Like, if she went. Dumped him today and said, get out of this house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Who gets the house?

[Rachel Cruze]

Who gets the house? Who gets the French bulldog Who has to. Who gets to stay? And then I got to give you 30 days eviction. And then you got to give 30 days, and it's going to go to court. And I got squatters, right? Like, this could get really messy really quick.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like, you know, like spray can lines down the middle way. This is my half. This is your half.

[Rachel Cruze]

My dishes. That's my half. The sink. No water on my side of the sink.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's your Tabasco. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. What a zoo. Bad job. This is people acting like they're married when they're not married. And the whole system in the United States is not set up for you. Sorry, darling. The English law does not. English laws, what we're modeled after. And it doesn't set up with the exception of Louisiana, which is French law. And it's not set up for it either. So just to help y', all, that's the way the stuff is laid out. You're screwed in these messes. Why refi Refinances. Defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn [e-mail] Ramsey.