The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: There Was A Murder Next Door And Now My Wife Is Afraid

Date: October 2, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network (Multiple hosts featured)

Overview

In this episode, the hosts address a deeply personal and traumatic listener call: a family experienced a murder in the house next door. The caller's wife, a stay-at-home mom with two young children, no longer feels safe in their home or neighborhood, and now wants to move. The conversation explores the emotional impact of neighborhood trauma, the logic behind feelings of safety versus actual danger, and practical advice for healing and making wise decisions.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Incident and Its Immediate Impact

• [00:11–00:38] Caller ("Jake") explains that a murder occurred next door, and his wife no longer feels safe.
• The incident was a domestic violence case—no random threat to the community.
• Jake reassures the hosts there was no gang violence or crime spree, just "a crazy guy decided to go after some family members."

Notable Quote

“It was just a crazy guy decided to try and just succeeded in killing one of his daughters and then tried to kill another one of his other kids.” — Jake, [00:46]

2. Assessing the Actual Danger

• [01:13–02:10]
  • Hosts clarify there was no ongoing risk to Jake’s family.
  • They untangle the difference between emotional trauma and logical assessment of risk.
• Hosts emphasize that fear is understandable, but the crime was familial and targeted, not a neighborhood danger.

Notable Quote

“So there’s no danger presented to your house except for stray bullets?” — Host C, [01:56]

3. The Trauma Response vs. Logic

• [02:17–03:45]
  • Discussion around how trauma and logic interplay; emotions must be recognized but evaluated logically.
  • The hosts encourage acknowledging trauma, distinguishing it from a real, ongoing threat.
• They validate Jake's wife's emotions as normal, noting the police presence and violence is inherently traumatizing.

Notable Quote

“It is emotional and it’s logical, but emotions need to be run by logic... A traumatic thing happened next door. It was traumatic... But that’s traumatic and dealing with that trauma is a valid thing... That’s different than ‘we’re in danger.’” — Host C, [02:17]

4. Supporting the Family, Especially the Wife

• [03:45–05:13]
  • The hosts stress that trauma “goes with you”—moving may not resolve fear if it’s rooted in unprocessed trauma.
  • They advocate for therapy over relocation as a first response.
  • The caller admits wanting to provide whatever makes his wife feel safe, but the hosts encourage dealing with the root cause.

Notable Quote

“Dr. John Delony would say that she’s not going to feel safe anywhere because the lack of safety is not due to the actual presence of crime. It’s due to the trauma, and the trauma’s inside of her. And it’s going to go wherever you move.” — Host C, [03:45]

5. Practical Advice: Therapy before Major Decisions

• [04:12–05:42]
  • Recommendation: see a therapist to work through trauma.
  • Emphasis is on emotional processing before considering moving as a solution.
• They discuss how trauma, if unaddressed, can “come with you” and resurface in other places.

Notable Quote

“I think you guys need to see a therapist. She’s been through hell. You have somebody help her with her trauma.” — Host C, [04:12]

6. The Notion of “Ickiness” and Stigma

• [06:36–07:41]
  • The hosts distinguish between moving because of ongoing fear (“I don’t feel safe”) and moving due to the uncomfortable stigma or “ickiness.”
  • They recount an anecdote on real estate stigma and how a house where a tragic event occurred gets labeled, impacting perception.
  • Moving due to lasting negative feelings is valid, but should not be confused with solving trauma.

Notable Quote

“It’ll always be the murder house as long as you live there... But the ickiness is a reason to move, but not if you’re actually using the ‘I don’t feel safe.’ Then that tells me she needs some other stuff. She needs some other help with this.” — Host C, [06:41]

7. The Importance of Wise, Not Rash, Financial Decisions

• [08:07–08:17]
  • Urges the caller not to make big financial choices (like moving) based on heightened, unprocessed emotions.
  • Advocates for patience: "Let some settle," do emotional work, then re-evaluate.

Notable Quote

“What you don’t want to do is make a stupid financial decision based on the heightened emotion either. So just let some settle.” — Host A, [08:07]

Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• On Logical Assessment vs. Emotional Reality:

  “It is emotional and it’s logical, but emotions need to be run by logic... That’s different than ‘we’re in danger.’” — Host C, [02:17]

• On Trauma Following You:

  “If you move across town, you’re going to be afraid when you’re walking. Still. Does that make sense?” — Host C, [05:13]

• On the Role of Therapy:

  “I would sit down with a therapist. I really would, because I think your wife’s really been traumatized.” — Host C, [05:34]

• On Stigma and “Ickiness”:

  “I might move anyway. Just ickiness. I can move off of ickiness memory.” — Host C, [06:36]

• On Financial Prudence:

  “What you don’t want to do is make a stupid financial decision based on the heightened emotion either. So just let some settle.” — Host A, [08:07]

Actionable Takeaways

• Acknowledge and address trauma through therapy, not just through changing environments.
• Differentiate between logical safety and emotional responses—recognize when feelings stem from trauma and need separate attention.
• Refrain from major decisions (like moving) immediately after trauma; let emotions settle before changing your financial situation.
• It’s okay to move if you simply “can’t shake the ickiness,” but recognize that moving will not automatically fix feelings of fear that come from trauma.

Episode Tone and Style

The conversation is empathetic, direct, and pragmatic—true to The Ramsey Show’s hallmark mix of compassion and tough love. The hosts blend logical analysis with emotional understanding, reinforcing the importance of financial and relational health in moments of crisis.