"These Guys Are Absolute Buttholes"

Summary

Podcast Summary: "These Guys Are Absolute Buttholes" The Ramsey Show Highlights | Released June 5, 2025

---

Introduction

In the episode titled "These Guys Are Absolute Buttholes," hosted by the Ramsey Network, Dave Ramsey addresses a pressing financial dilemma faced by a caller concerning his mother's liability for his father's substantial credit card debt. The discussion delves into debt responsibility, legal implications, and strategic approaches to managing aggressive debt collectors.

---

Caller’s Dilemma: Understanding the Debt Situation [00:06 - 02:38]

The caller, seeking advice, outlines his father's accumulation of approximately $18,000 in credit card debt prior to being moved to assisted living nine months ago. Although his mother is diligently paying the interest to cover monthly necessities, the burden is unsustainable for her at 75 years old. Key points from the caller include:

• Debt Details: The debt is solely in the father's name, primarily on an American Express card, with no current co-signers except for historical involvement where the mother was initially associated but is no longer.

• Financial Status: The couple owns a home valued at approximately $700,000, fully paid off, but their income is limited to the mother's part-time job and VA assistance. The father's health has declined, impacting his ability to manage finances, leading to increased debt from medical expenses.

Notable Quote:

Caller: "He racked up a lot of it on dental bills here in the last year or so just before he went to assisted living." [01:18]

---

Dave Ramsey’s Analysis and Legal Implications [02:00 - 03:22]

Dave Ramsey examines the potential consequences of the unpaid credit card debt, focusing on asset protection and legal actions:

• Asset Vulnerability: Dave highlights the risk of creditors placing a lien on the family home, even though the mother currently resides there.

• Montana's Legal Landscape: While uncertain about specific Montana laws, Dave posits that the strong likelihood exists for creditors to enforce liens and possibly force the sale of the home to recover debts.

• Risk Assessment: Emphasizes the near certainty of ongoing harassment from creditors and the resultant stress on the elderly mother.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: "They are absolute buttholes. They are horrible to deal with." [04:33]

---

Strategic Financial Advice: Navigating Creditors [03:22 - 05:54]

Dave Ramsey provides a pragmatic approach to handling the unmanageable debt:

1. Cease Payments: Advises the caller to stop paying the credit card debt, allowing it to go into default.

2. Avoid Communication: Recommends that the mother should not engage with the creditors to prevent further harassment and stress.

3. Settlement Strategy: Suggests that after six to nine months, the family should pool together approximately $5,000 with the sister to settle the debt for a fraction of the owed amount.

4. Documentation: Stresses the importance of obtaining written confirmation of any settlements to protect against further disputes.

5. Mental Preparedness: Warns of the aggressive tactics employed by American Express collections, urging firmness and consistency in dealings.

Notable Quotes:

Dave Ramsey: "But the trick is you just got to play hardball and go, look, you're not." [05:14]

Dave Ramsey: "They are absolute buttholes. They are horrible to deal with." [04:33]

---

Co-host’s Input and Emphasis on Savings [05:38 - 06:15]

The co-host, identified as Matt, underscores the importance of financial preparedness:

• Savings Importance: Highlights that without adequate savings, even a home paid off can become a financial vulnerability in unforeseen circumstances.

• Ramsey’s Baby Steps: References Dave Ramsey’s financial framework, particularly the recommendation to save 15% of household income by Baby Step Four before advancing to Baby Step Six, which focuses on paying off the mortgage.

Closing Remarks:

Dave and the co-host express empathy for the caller's situation, reinforcing the necessity of strategic financial planning to avert similar predicaments. The episode concludes with encouragement to utilize the EveryDollar budgeting app to manage finances effectively.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: "This is why we tell you to save 15% of your household income at baby step four before you get to baby step six and pay off your house." [06:07]

---

Key Takeaways

• Debt Responsibility: Credit card debt remains the individual responsibility of the cardholder, not automatically transferable to spouses unless co-signed.

• Asset Protection: Fully paid-off homes are not immune to lien claims by aggressive creditors, necessitating proactive financial strategies.

• Strategic Defaults: In certain situations, allowing debt to default and settling for a reduced amount may be more feasible than continued unmanageable payments.

• Documentation: Always secure written agreements when negotiating debt settlements to ensure accountability and protect against future claims.

• Financial Preparedness: Emphasizes the importance of saving and budgeting to create a safety net, preventing financial crises during emergencies.

---

Conclusion

"These Guys Are Absolute Buttholes" offers a candid exploration of the hardships associated with unmanageable credit card debt and the relentless pursuit by debt collectors. Through empathetic guidance, Dave Ramsey equips listeners with strategies to navigate such financial storms, emphasizing the critical role of planning, saving, and informed decision-making in safeguarding one's financial well-being.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Caller]

My question, in short is, is my mom responsible for my dad's credit card debt? Here's what's happened. He's been moved to assisted living about nine months ago. Before that he'd racked up credit card debt of about $18,000. She's right now just paying off the interest on that monthly to get by. He does have some VA assistance that helps with his assisted living. But she's 75. She cannot afford to continue doing that. So I'm wondering, it's an American Express card. How aggressive are they let that go into default? She's not on. She's not on his. She didn't co sign with him, but she did at one time. He got her a credit card, but she no longer has that as just kind of an accessory. It's all in his name. It's his debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

Does he have any assets? Do they own a home?

[Caller]

Yes, they do. He's not living in it.

[Dave Ramsey]

He doesn't matter. They could sue him and take a lien against his home, which happens to be where she lives. Yes, that's a problem. They have no money?

[Caller]

No, no. She works part time job just three days a week to just bring in groceries and that sort of stuff. But other than that, their home is paid off. Yes, but other than that? No, it just goes to insurance, property taxes, that sort of stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Sorry. Do you have any money?

[Caller]

Yeah, but not that kind of money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Co-host]

Do you have other siblings? Matt?

[Caller]

One sister, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's the house worth? Their house?

[Caller]

Oh, they had just moved into it before he started his fall. And it's worth probably 700,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it's paid for?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right, well, in order to save the house, we're gonna have to deal with Amex.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

So they're not going to sue. If they do sue, they're very aggressive in their collection tactics, but they're not real aggressive in actually forcing the sale of a house that they've taken a judgment lien against. That would be like less than 1/4 of 1% chance of that happening. Okay. They technically could. Where's the house? What state?

[Caller]

State it's in. It's in Montana.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. I don't know Montana law, but I suspect they could take a lien against the house and eventually execute on the lien and force the sale of the house in order to pay. And they're going to just drive her bananas in the six years it would take for them to get to that point. Okay? So I don't suggest doing that. It's going to be. It's going to be a problem for you for her, and sweet lady is just going to get harassed. Now, was he of diminished capacity when he used the card?

[Caller]

Starting to get that way. He racked up a lot of it on dental bills here in the last year or so just before he went to assisted living. Without her knowing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I know that her knowing is not necessary, but if he wasn't. If he was like an early onset or something, and you can get a doctor's letter that'll help you with the process here. Okay? So anyway, what I would do is this. I'll just stop paying it. Let it go bad, okay? And teach her to. Don't have conversations with them. Don't even talk to them. If they call or they send something, just ignore it because they're going to drive there. If she picks up the phone every time they call, they're going to drive her nuts. All right? And then after about six to nine months, you and your sister scrape together $5,000 and settle this, okay? Y' all, settle it and get it out of there. So your mama's house is not at risk while your dad's declining.

[Caller]

You feel like Amex would settle on that? No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Settle pennies on the dollar. Once it's nine months old.

[Caller]

Once it's nine months old.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because they don't think they're going to get their money, then statistically, they're not going to get their money.

[Caller]

Right? Will they be the ones to call us? Will they turn it over to creditors?

[Dave Ramsey]

Usually they'll keep it. They'll keep it at least a year, usually.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

And I will tell you, they are absolute buttholes. They are horrible to deal with. If you work for Amex and the credit card collections department, you should be ashamed of yourself and go get a good job. They're a horrible company, okay? So just get ready to deal with Satan, okay? I mean, seriously, this is what you're going in with? It's. It's horrible. All right? So I, you know, I've dealt with them, I don't know, five hundred or a thousand times on behalf of clients and once on behalf of myself 35 years ago. So, no, you do. You do not want to. But the trick is you just got to play hardball and go, look, you're not.

[Co-host]

She doesn't have the money. That's the thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

She doesn't have the money. You're not getting paid. They don't have any assets. And we're offering you a settlement on a bad debt. Hang up. We're offering you a settlement on a bad debt. She doesn't have any money. Do you want some money? Hang up. You're gonna have to do that like 10 times before you find someone with two brain cells down there to rub together. Okay?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And when you do finally get somebody on there, they're going to go, oh, this guy's. Because they record every one of the transactions on the file. So they see every time we start yelling at them, they hang up. And they'll know that. So the next time they pick up, go, look, don't start or you're going to be another. Hang up.

[Co-host]

And if you get it, Matt, get it in writing. Have absolutely have them email you immediately a letter so you have actual evidence that they.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because they lie. If they say they did something, they didn't do it. If it's not in writing, it didn't happen.

[Caller]

Brother, thank you so much for your advice. I will start saving. I appreciate you both.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, be good, man. Sorry you're facing that.

[Co-host]

I know. It's so sad for his mom.

[Dave Ramsey]

This is why we tell you to save 15% of your household income at baby step four before you get to baby step six and pay off your house. Because if you have a paid for house and no money, you can get in a pinch. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.